With Love Comes War
by Padfoot7411
Summary: Contiunation to Backwards Desire read that one first This is Post Hogwarts, it goes right up to after James and Lily die. SB/RL
1. New Beginnings

**Continuation of Backwards Desire, this is Post Hogwarts. I suggest reading Backwards Desire before starting this fanfic for the simple fact a lot of plot has been talked about in that one other than canon plot XD. **

**I had such a blast with Backwards Desire I figured I would continue on with this part. Though this one will be MUCH longer than Desire since its four years of material to cover...so be prepared for a long haul. And for now there will only be one chapter updates until I can get far enough ahead that it won't be so hard to write two chatpers a day. I hope thats cool with you guys! ENJOY!**

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><p>It had been a month since graduation and Sirius had spent the whole month hunting for a new apartment, so Remus could come and live with him. The full moon was the boys only worry. And it wasn't very hard really to find a place in London that had a place to hide such a beast thanks to World War II, which at the time many flat buildings had created bomb shelters. The only problem was finding one that one could access and the no one else enter.<p>

After running down flat after flat Sirius finally found one owned by wizards. And they had agreed to hand the bomb shelter over to him, but only at the agreement of a higher rent as well as if anything was destroyed Sirius would fix it. The deal had been sealed within an hour and Sirius was on his way to start moving.

"Ok Remus open your eyes" Sirius grinned as they stood in the doorway of their new flat.

"Sirius why on earth do you have to cover my eyes I know what your flat looks like remember"

"Do you now" Sirius chuckled as he walked the boy inside before shutting the door behind him. "I think you need to really smell your surroundings and really think about it.

"Why did you move" Remus asked "I thought you loved your flat" Remus raised an eyebrow Sirius' flat had been in central London, overlooking the city he loved. There was no way he'd give up such a beautiful flat.

"I love something more than the flat" he smiled kissing the back of Remus' neck "I gave it up so that you could move in with me"

"Sirius" Remus sighed. "I can't do that…I'm a werewolf I need a place to hide"

"And I found one" with that Sirius dropped his hands, and let Remus look around, "Welcome home Remus" he smiled. "Our first flat together" he grinned a wide grin.

"S-Sirius" Remus breathed looking around, the flat was a little smaller than his first flat, and it was easily much older. Maybe early forties. He looked around the flat, and chuckled. "It needs a lot of repairs"

"I've already talked to James about it, he's willing to help us" he smiled. "I've taken care of everything" Remus could feel the pressure on his shoulders.

"How many bedrooms does it have" he asked, it was a stupid question and the second it left his lips he saw the pain in Sirius' eyes.

"Well…I figured we only really needed one, but there are two. Though the second I figured I'd turn into an office unless…" he looked at his feet.

"I was only asking to ask" Remus smiled. "There is no way I'd sleep anywhere but your bed if I was moving in" he sighed.

"If" Sirius asked.

"It's a big commitment" Remus looked at him "Plus I doubt anyone would want a werewolf in their flat"

"Remus I said I took care of everything, wizards run this flat"

"OH that's fantastic Sirius!" Remus starred at him "Where exactly is this flat anyway since you didn't even let me know that"

"Its still in London, were five miles or so away from my old flat, were in a old district of London"

"I could tell by the flat, what is it early forties"

"It was rebuilt soon after the first Blitz" Sirius crossed his arms over his chest "if that helps with any of your issues." Sirius watched as the dots connected in Remus' head and he grinned.

"You're telling me you gave up your flat in the middle of London for a place that I might decline just so if I did accept I'd have a place to transform"

"Yes, I'd give anything up if you'd move in with me" he looked at Remus "Even if that means I have to go out into the middle of the woods and build a damn two room shack. I'd do it if that meant I got to wake up with you by my side"

Remus starred at Sirius like he had three heads, he blinked away the tears that formed in his eyes "Have you signed papers"

"I signed them a week ago; I had to beat the people who wanted it as well. If I hadn't had them on my tail I would have brought you here first"

"Why didn't you show me the day you signed the papers"

"Full moon was a day away." Sirius chuckled. "I wasn't going to show you our new home when you'd be in a pissy mood" he chuckled. "I wanted you feeling good when I brought you here"

"And James said he'd help us with the work"

"Money wise yes, I'd never ask James to help us with the rest, its simple stuff really, paint the walls updo a few things. Nothing to serious"

"And you promise there is a place I can transform"

"I can take you there now if you want" Sirius pulled a key off of the key ring beside the door "Its all mine, no one can enter it" Remus eyed him "It made rent a little more expensive but its well worth it, come on"

The two walked down to the bomb shelter which was down in the cellar of the complex. The walk down wasn't too bad and the shelter itself wasn't too bad.

"And I can make it sound proof come full moon, I thought of everything Remus" Sirius insisted for the third or so time. "Really I did"

"I can tell" Remus ran his hands over the cement walls "You made sure no silver was down here" he eyed Sirius "And do the owners know what will be down in this cellar"

"Yes and yes" he sighed. "Apparently the owner has a relative who was a werewolf, so they understood completely. Said I was quite the gentleman for making sure everything was perfect for my companion"

"Do they know that we are…?"

"No, I figured that small detail could be left out" Sirius leaned against the door frame. "Though it wouldn't surprise me if they'd figure it out." crossing his arms over his chest "Come on Remus…give it a whirl, if it doesn't work out I can still build that shack"

Remus laughed and walked over to Sirius pulling him in the room and shutting the door. "Promise me one thing"

"Anything"

"You'll always come get me after full moon"

"No matter what, I will come and get you" Sirius smiled eyes glittering. Remus would be living with him, his one dream was finally granted. Everything was falling into place.

"When does Auror training start" Remus asked as they were heading up to the flat.

"Next month" Sirius sighed. "Don't worry, everything will be ok"

"I know it will" Remus smiled "I was just asking." he took Sirius' hand "I love you"

"I love you too Remus" Sirius smiled and squeezed Remus' hand. This was the start of a very happy beginning


	2. Hearings Wedding Bells

**Sorry this chapter was posted so late! I hit a writer's block in the middle of writing it last night and finally found the muse to finish it! Hopefully its a good chapter. I'm quite liking having the canon timeline behind me makes it MUCH easier to write XD**

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><p>"So what did James tell you exactly?" Sirius asked as he pulled his work shirt over his head throwing it into the hamper. James had written him Remus earlier that morning as Sirius had headed out the door. And he didn't want to be late, again, so he ignored it and dashed out the door.<p>

"Well he told me that he wanted a marauders night," Remus raised an eyebrow and ran his hand over a new cut along Sirius' side. "What the hell are they doing to you in auror training!" he snapped.

"Err…" Sirius shrugged "Training?"

"Slicing you up like a holiday ham?"

"Remus…calm down" Sirius chuckled and smiled at him. "It's a scratch, that I got not exactly dodging a spell. It happens you know."

Remus sighed and rested his forehead against his shoulder blade breathing in Sirius' scent and closing his eyes. "I just…worry you know."

"I know you do" Sirius took Remus' hand and pressed a soft kiss against the top of his hand. "And I take care of myself, Rem. I'll never, not come home to you," he looked Remus over and smiled. "I promise." He read the other man's mind and placed another soft kiss on the top of his hand. Remus pulled away and watched as Sirius opened a drawer of his dresser and pulled out a shirt slipping it over his head.

"So again, my love where are we going?" Sirius asked sitting down on the edge of their king sized bed slipping his shoes on.

"Out to dinner, then I guess to do something else, probably a bar knowing James." Remus chuckled as he sat behind Sirius and ran kisses up his neck. "Though the urge to cancel on him is tempting" he breathed in Sirius' ear pulling at the white cotton shirt. "Because I have been horribly lonely today…and I've missed you so." Remus grinned as he heard Sirius' groan.

"Mmm" Sirius shivered. "Don't tease me like that," he looked back at Remus and groaned as the boy bit down softly on his neck. "Remus," he breathed exposing his neck more to let the blonde at his neck. He shivered under the feeling of the man's mouth against his skin. His blood was racing through his veins with each warm breath against his skin. He shuttered when the warmth was gone and his head started to clear. "Hey!"

"Come on, we need to go" Remus pulled away from him and walked towards the bedroom door. "Prongs said to come right after work, so come on Sirius."

"Yea, yea" Sirius grumbled standing up. "You tell me that after you've made my head all fuzzy and my knee's weak. Yes that's exactly when you tell me!"

"OH stop being a whinny baby and come on." Remus patted his shoulder and slid his shoes on. "You can have more when we get back home."

"Promise?" Sirius grinned.

"Maybe" Remus laughed.

The two walked the London streets side by side, summer was wide awake in the large city. What little pollen came from the trees from Regence Park dusted the sidewalks as they walked. The two boys felt awkward as they walked like that, not daring to touch but wanting to so badly.

"This is going to be much harder than I thought" Sirius muttered to Remus as they turned a corner. "It's practically driving me crazy"

"Sorry Sirius" Remus tucked his hands in his shorts pockets. "Its how it's gotta be. We can't just cling to each other every second of the day."

"But the rest of the couples are doing it!"

"Yes and they are straight couples, we love are not."

"So?"

"So we don't get that luxury."

"Fucking stupid, that's what it is." Remus shook his head at Sirius' frustration as the walked into the small café and both of them smiled as James waved them over.

"Hello, chaps" James grinned ear to ear. "Took you long enough," he raised his hand calling a waitress over.

"Sorry about that Sirius got in late, working him hard at training." Remus chuckled. Sirius rolled his eyes and elbowed Remus.

"How did he get home late, we left at the same time" James chuckled. "What happened at home" James winked. "Are we keeping secrets, boys?"

"None of your business James" Sirius chuckled. "So what was the big deal of us coming down here?"

James chuckled and played nervously with his napkin in front of him. "Well…" he smiled. "I want to ask Lily to marry me." He smiled nervously as he looked between the two marauders. Sirius and Remus' eyes were both wide as they both grinned ear to ear. "What?"

"WHEN!" Sirius cried standing up, knocking his chair over. "THAT'S FANTASTIC!"

"Sirius sit down," Remus laughed tugging on Sirius' shirt. "Do you have a ring yet" Remus asked as Sirius finally started to sit down.

"Yea, well sorta. I'm still looking" James rubbed the back of his neck, the waitress came over and took their orders once she left the three immersed themselves deep into conversation. Planning the perfect way to go about proposing was a hard job. The three boys were planning something very new.

"Well what exactly do you want Prongs?" Sirius leaned back huffing "I mean seriously, we've went through a thousand different ways!"

"Well that's the thing Padfoot," James sighed. "I don't know exactly how I want to do it. I mean I want everyone there…because" he rubbed his temple. "I guess if more people are there its safe as well as a family event"

The three boys went silent, it was no lie the world around them had grown darker and full of chaos. Voldemort constantly on the move gaining more and more followers, either from their fear or from their desire to rid the world of muggleborn's and the like.

"You guys will come right" James looked at the two of them.

"Like we'd miss it!" The two boys chorused and grinned "Hell Prongs who do you think we are?" Sirius grinned clapping Remus on the back "We'll be there"

"Make sure you avoid full moon" Remus chuckled, smiling back at Sirius. "We'll be there."

"Good," James checked his watch, dinner had lasted way longer than expected and James rose. "Sorry boys, I gotta run. Lily wants me home before ten, she doesn't like being at the house alone" he sighed. "One of those things."

Sirius nodded "Don't blame her…Deathies are everywhere."

"Sirius shhh," Remus hissed "people can hear you."

"Ahhh but the world needs to know it Remus, Death Eaters want muggles dead too."

"It's for the government to decide Sirius." James sighed wrapping the two in a hug "Mirror me, when you get home" he eyed Sirius. "I want to make sure you two make it home alright."

"We live in central London, death eaters aren't gonna snatch us," Sirius chuckled.

"Do it anyway." James looked at the two of them. "Please." The look in James' eye was nothing but worry, rumors had gone around he was collecting purebloods despite what they were doing. And Sirius knew both James and himself were on that list. The look in James' eye alone made Sirius scared.

"We will James," Remus patted James' shoulder "I promise."

"Good, then I'll be off then" James smiled, his former self returning. "See you later Remus, see you at training tomorrow Sirius."

With one last wave James disappeared from sight.

"So Remus" Sirius stood up "About earlier."

"What about it?"

"Care to continue after we get home."

Remus gave him a sly look "Let's get home and tell James we made it home first." Sirius grinned ear to ear, now very eager to get home.


	3. Paradise

**Sorry about not updating yesterday! I had company! Hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. I tried describing the flat as best I could...we'll see if it works XD. OHH and a HUGE hint for a few chapters to come...so be looking for it!**

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><p>The alarm clock next to Sirius' head went of telling him that it was six thirty in the morning and he needed to get his lazy ass out of bed. Sirius groaned opening one eye and reaching forward smacking the snooze button before rolling back over pushing the alarm clock off of the table and onto the floor and wrapped his arms around the still sleeping Remus, he gave out a relaxed sigh before nuzzling the blonde hair before groaning as Remus' own alarm clock went off.<p>

"Don't get up" Sirius grumbled in his hair.

"Get up Sirius" Remus pulled himself from underneath Sirius "Get in the shower."

"Noooo come back" Sirius reached out from the covers and grabbed Remus' boxers "please…" Remus never turned back knowing if he did he'd crawl right back in bed and never leave the man's side. "Be that way." Sirius grumbled throwing the covers off of him in a dramatic soap opera sort of way, "asshole." he grumbled.

"HEARD THAT" Remus called from the kitchen. "And you wanted breakfast" he called, chuckling to himself as he turned around in the small kitchen starting the mornings tea. He leaned against he counter as the eggs sizzled away, and the toast was in the toaster. He grinned as he heard the shower turn on, but didn't move though the urge to jump into the shower with Sirius was tempting he knew Sirius would be late if he even stepped foot in their bathroom.

Remus was in the middle of starting the bacon when Sirius strolled in the room with only a towel on. "Now that is cruel" Remus growled spatula pointing at him.

"Well you deserve it! Won't even lay in bed with me for ten minutes after the alarm goes off," Sirius grumbled. "So this is your punishment. You can look but can't bloody touch." he chuckled as he sat down in his chair at the small kitchen table looking around the flat, a small smile slid on his face, their first home together. Maybe next year he'd have enough money to buy a house and a damn dog!

"That's cruel" Remus grumbled putting the plate down in front of Sirius before kissing the man's fresh shaven jaw. "You always smell so good after a shower."

"Telling me I don't smell good as the day goes on?" Sirius chuckled tucking himself in.

"Aftershave wears off after a while." Remus chuckled grabbing his own plate and sat down. The normal routine was Remus' favorite part of his life, as long as everything was normal and smooth it meant the outside world had not affected them. For now, the world was all right, here in their small flat was safe and sound. Full of happiness and love that's all Remus had ever wanted. Though he had never imagined sharing it with a man, let alone his best friend and now lover.

Sirius getting up from the table stirred him from his mind as he looked up watching the man walk to the sink drop the plate and turn back to face him, their eyes met and the two smile. Their own silent conversation going on. The unspoken I Love You's and other sweet things reflecting in their eyes. A kiss was placed on the top of Remus' head and Sirius was back into the bedroom changing for work. He'd soon be gone and Remus would be alone. Alone to start renovations on the flat, first would come the planning then the removal.

Today was a finish planning start removal.

The buzzer for their flat went off and Remus walked to the intercom "Remus, it's me let me in" Lily's voice called from the speaker. He buzzed her in and flicked his wand to start another batch of tea brewing. He smiled when he heard her knock on the door. Opening it he looked over the brass number eleven on their door and smiled a little bigger, it was the small things in life one needed to remember to be truly happy. And the fact that that number on the door was just one more representation of something that belonged to both Sirius and himself was one of those things.

"Hello darling," Lily chirped as she placed a soft kiss on Remus' cheek. "About time I saw…geeze Sirius' what a dump" she laughed. "I see why you want to redo it. It reminds me of my grandparents place" Lily laughed.

"It has its charms" Remus shook his head pulling Lily's light jacket from her shoulders. Despite it being summer the rain in London tended to keep everyone in jackets all year. "Plus it's ours" he chuckled.

"I didn't mean it as an insult." Lily turned to face him and smiled. "You look so happy," she couldn't help a chuckle "Sirius being good to you?"

"More than good, I'm the reason for this place. It was built during World War II." He gave her a look, hoping he wouldn't have to explain. Thankfully Lily was always a bright woman and nodded her head.

"Good, at least he thought of you when he bought it. So, where do we start first" Lily rubbed her hands together looking around the darkly colored room.

It wasn't that the apartment was dirty, or rough looking. It was simply left in the forties 'could get bombed any second' state. The colors were mostly dull greens and dark woods especially in the living room. The windows desperately needed repainting the paint was chipped from their age, but despite that they were still in very good and clear condition. Though the drapes were an olive color, and desperately needed to be redone. The furniture was also old, though the pieces were well taken care of for this part of history, and if they were sold would probably fetch a nice price. Sirius had already spoken to a few antique dealers and was planning on selling the loveseat and two arm chair set. The carpet was about the same color as the drapes but with more wear.

The kitchen was more a place of restoration, the cabinets though there were few, due to the time period and at the time only having rations due to the war. Were solid wood and only needed to be sanded down and stained. The floor was in pretty good shape as well, though the 1940's staple of checkered flooring was outdated.

The bathroom and bedroom were more updated, probably due to the tenant's before them. Though the furniture still dark woods it was newer, more so early 1960's still was in very good condition, not much would be done in those rooms seeing as both Sirius and Remus liked what they had done. The bedroom was done in robin's egg and with the effect of the darker mahogany furniture looked very beautiful.

Lily had poked her head into the bedroom and smiled "Now this" she continued her walk about "Is beautiful, I really loved what they did to this room."

"As to Sirius and I," Remus chuckled from the door frame. "We're leaving it as is. The furniture is still in good condition and we probably couldn't find that color or anything near to it if we tried."

"Good I'd smack you over the head if we were changing any of it."

Once sitting in front of the plans Lily was constantly running through it, previewing the room with magic. The agreement with James' helping pay for it was they were involved somehow, only so they knew Sirius wasn't being ridiculous with his choices for the wall colors. Plus there was nothing wrong with friends helping friends.

"Whose ideas are these anyway" Lily asked as Remus handed her a cup of tea "Are these yours?"

"Sort of, Sirius and I worked hand in hand with it really, every night after work we'd sit down and work on it" Remus chuckled. "We're both pretty excited."

"I can tell." Lily smiled, "What about that spare room?" she asked, raising an eyebrow pointing to the room farthest from them, the dark finished door was shut.

"Can't unlock it" Remus sighed. "Sirius tried magic even, it just won't budge. We're sure somewhere the key is around here and when we're cleaning it out we'll find it. When we do, well if we do we'll figure out then. We were thinking and office, but we don't know what it'd be used for."

Lily nodded as she continued to glance over the plans. "I think we're all set, and your landlord approves"

"One hundred percent" Sirius chuckled from the entrance doorframe. "Hello Lily dear." he smiled, "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, we were just finishing," Lily smiled. "You're off rather early, is James as well?"

"Yep, he's ready to see you home. Wants to talk about how to spend his day off," Sirius was already heading to the kitchen as he turned to Remus and winked, making sure he understood exactly what Sirius was speaking about.

Once the three said their goodbyes, Sirius let himself collapse onto the couch with a butterbeer in hand and grinned over at Remus. "How did she like the plans," he asked kicking his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back against the couch taking his first drink of the evening.

"She liked them," Remus had leaned back in his own spot on the couch and raised and eyebrow. "Hard day?"

"Yes, but wanna know what makes it worth it?" Remus shrugged, knowing Sirius was just about to tell him why. "Simply put, it makes coming home to paradise so much better." The grin on Sirius' face caused Remus to laugh, which in turn caused Sirius to laugh.

Sirius was never more right, nothing was better than being in paradise.


	4. First Comes Love

**I had alot of fun with this chapter! For a few hours I hunted for a good picture of Regent's Park to try and describe I'll post a link of the pic for you guys to see and hopefully I described it well!**

**flickr.(com) /photos/housejohansson/5652621781/in/set-72157626573029076 **

**take out the parthensies and get rid of the space when you go to look up the photo...apparetly doesn't like links!**

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><p>With a click the door closed, and a light lit the keyhole locking it from entry. The light illuminated Sirius' face as he locked the door so only he could enter it. He had a secret in that room and it wasn't quite time for Remus to see it yet.<p>

He hated lying to Remus, he really did. But he wanted this to be a surprise, a completely done and mind blowing surprise. And it couldn't be without the occasional white lie. Tonight's had been a case he had to finish writing up.

And there on the coffee table it sat, it had been finished before dinner. But he had to make it seem like it was taking so long so he could sneak and do his own project. He hoped it'd be done by Christmas, but if worse came to worse he knew it'd be done by his birthday.

He sighed as he looked down at his hand, another cut he'd have to find an excuse for, the bruise on his hand two days ago had been hard enough to explain. He really needed to work on the lighting in the room

But nothing was better than a bottle of butterbeer after a long night working on a project and that's exactly what Sirius treated himself to as he sat down on the couch. He had hardly gotten through the second swallow when the bedroom door opened and out stepped a half asleep Remus.

"Sirius…it's like four in the morning. Don't you have work tomorrow?" his groggy voice carried. Sirius turned his head and smiled. Remus' bed head was adorable, then again after what they had done before he snuck out of bed it had better been messed up. His boxers were hanging loosely on his hips as he stood there eyes squinted in sleep.

"No, I have the day off remember" Sirius chuckled as he took another swallow. "James and Lily's first big day tomorrow" he smiled at the thought of his best friend proposing to the love of his life. And a little part of him was rather jealous James had that right and he did not.

"Mmhmm." Remus nodded and turned his heel "Come to bed, its cold." Sirius gave his drink a sigh and stood up stretching. What had he had three minutes to himself?

"Coming love," he chuckled putting the top back on the glass bottle, though knowing full well tomorrow it'd be flat and nasty, he hated wasting. He slid it back in the fridge and before following Remus to the bedroom double checked the door, making sure it was still locked. Once he was satisfied he walked into the bedroom shutting the door behind him.

"SIRIUS HURRY UP!" Remus shouted through the bathroom door. "WE'RE…there you are" he stopped shouting as Sirius opened the bathroom door.

"Remus…shut up." Sirius rubbed his temple, his head was aching. Remus had woke him up early only to drag him back to bed, and here they were now, rushing to get ready. "It was your fault for using all the hot water" he chuckled; cold showers always gave him a headache.

"Should have joined me." Remus purred as he turned his back only to be pulled back and stumble into Sirius' arms.

"Oh…don't start with me." Sirius nuzzled Remus' neck, "You're the one who always wants to be on time and trust me, and if I had joined you we'd have been late." He ran kisses over Remus' neck "very, very late." He grinned as Remus shivered and pushed off of him.

"Let's go you tease" Remus grumbled, as he headed towards the front door. Sirius rolled his eyes and followed after him. "As you wish." Sirius chuckled shutting the front door behind him.

Regent's Park was alive with families enjoying one of the last good days before summer holiday would be over. It was the middle of August, and it was beautiful out. Midsummer flowers bloomed all along the flower beds and the green grass looked quite happy to have a nice sunny day like this to grow just another inch taller.

"Now to find James" Sirius mused, as they walked along, Sirius had spent many of his childhood days hiding away in Regent's Park so he knew much of it like the back of his hand. Of course that was one of the perks of living in central London all of your life, knowing the best places. James had wanted a romantic spot, but nothing to romantic. Sirius' advice had been the Avenue Gardens in Regent's Park. It was a very beautiful place in the summer, but it also had a family environment which meant it'd be less suspicious. James' family lived in Cambridge, and when James had left school he'd followed Sirius and moved to London, since it helped with his Auror training, to be closer to headquarters. So when the subject of beautiful places James was a little lost in everything that was central London, where as Sirius knew coves and everything from his frequent habits of running away from home to get away from it all and would get lost just to find out how to get home again.

"Sooo, where exactly in the gardens do we go?" Remus asked looking around at the flowers that beamed at the happy sunlight. "And how on earth did you pick this place?"

"Something wrong with it?"

"No…just I can't imagine child Sirius ever wandering flower gardens" Remus chuckled. "If I'm to be truly honest."

"One must always have time to stop and smell the flowers," Sirius laughed. "Besides Regents Park when I was a child always held more hide-a-ways then one could imagine." Remus looked at him to continue but he stopped and chuckled. "It'll have to wait till later, come on" he pulled Remus aside, he'd been looking for the spot he had taken James a few days ago, he spotted the large fountain a few paces away. And ducked into a tree lined path.

They looked at the large four tier fountain it looked like someone had stacked three bird baths on top of each other the next up a half of the first size. The sound was soothing one, constant running water. The flower garden really was a thin strip of maze like design, and at the top was the grand fountain. Shrubs lined the outside of the garden closest to the tan pathway. And inside were tulips and other flowers which stood out against the dark greens of the shrubs and bright green grass.

Once in the shade of the trees they walked forward. Remus was right behind him chuckling at Sirius, who seemed to be acting more like a spy then a friend who was meant to watch his best friend propose. They both were looking around for the other members of 'Potter Watch' as James had deemed it. Sirius quickly spotted Mr. and Mrs. Potter the two of them sitting behind a news paper on a bench closest to where James would pop the question. And on the bench right beside that one sat who Remus figured must be Mr. and Mrs. Evans. And of course all around weither sunning out on the grounds or sitting on benches were the rest of the family and friends who were previously told of the occasion.

The whole group watched each set of eyes waiting for the pair to walk towards their secret location, everyone waiting enjoying the day.

Sirius was bouncing on his toes, he hated waiting. It drove him crazy to sit or stand still when he knew something important was going too happened, even lounging beside Remus on the grass you could tell he could almost no longer take it.

"They'll be here soon." Remus chuckled as he looked down at his watch. "Hold on Sirius, the wait is almost over."

"What if she says no?" Sirius asked.

"She won't say no."

The conversation grew quiet as Remus picked up Lily's smell, the senses of a werewolf coming in handy. He gave Sirius a nudge to raise up as the two of them could hear Lily's laughter now. Remus could only imagine what was going through his best friend's head as he walked towards the large fountain which to him must have seemed threatening. He wondered if the straight path seemed to go on forever in his friends head or if it was a short dash?

Remus jumped when he felt Sirius' hand take his. "One day Moony," Sirius started "I'm gonna do the same thing to you." Remus starred at him confused. "Propose that is!" He grinned. Remus chuckled, not daring take away the boy's happiness. "Not if I do it first." Remus winked causing Sirius to only grin wider. "Here they come" Sirius giggled. It was like he was five years old again watching a parade, and his favorite part was coming.

And almost on cue James took her to the fountain and handed her a coin, Sirius knew now he'd be telling her to make a wish. And when she closed her eyes and turned her back to him to throw the coin in the fountain when she turned around James was down on one knee. And Lily's eyes were wide and her hand was over her mouth tears forming in her emerald eyes.

"Lily Evans" James looked up at her and couldn't help but smile despite the butterflies that formed in his stomach. "I've chased you for what felt like forever, and last year you finally gave into this crazy mess and gave me a chance. Now I know it's not been a year, like most couples wait. But…I can't wait any longer. I'm now here on one knee, soaking my pant leg, asking you the one thing I'd never really get the chance to ask you" he pulled a black ring box out of his pants pocket and opened it. "Lily, darling, before this world crashes and burns will you do me the honor and pleasure of becoming my wife?"

No one knew what her answer was other than a squeak and tackling James to the ground for kisses. Eventually the two pulled away from fits of laughter before a few quiet moments went between the pair, and as the sun was setting on the English horizon James Potter slid the engagement ring his only love's finger. "SHE SAID YES" He shouted, as the crowd of family and friends started to cheer causing Lily to look around and realize everyone that had just seemed like random faces were the faces of the people she loved most.


	5. Domestic Life

**Sorry the updates are getting so late! Life is just not playing nicely with my writing times! But hey at least I get a update in everyday right? Hopefully I'm not letting you guys down! I'm starting to realize there are quiet a few problems I can make out of the domestic lives of these two...things I couldn't do in Hogwarts...its been quite intresting working with Sirius and Remus about it XD**

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><p>The folder was yanked from Sirius' hand as he heard Remus' laughter fade away. It took him a few moments to realize just what had happened. Once reality sunk in Sirius he turned around looking for Remus his laughter had long since faded. He stood up and looked around the small flat; you could smell the paint he had been using. He looked over at the wall farthest and smiled at the Smokey blue that now half way covered the wall. Only to snap his attention to the open door, a grin slipping on his lips.<p>

He hopped over the couch and grabbed his jacket slipping his shoes on and rushed out the door, knowing Remus was leading him on a chase. And he was more than eager to follow, though how he'd find him now he'd never know. But he walked down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor before looking around.

The old ground floor was stuck in the 1940's while World War II was in its fighting day. He chuckled at the décor as he walked down the halls. "Remus, come out come out where ever you are." His mind checking the dates, full moon was a couple days off so he defiantly wouldn't be in the cellar would he? He shook his head as he heard a motorbike rev up, and grinned a wide grin. He knew that sound well that was his motorbike; he raced out the back door and looked around to the parking place where his beloved motorbike sat. The sidecar was gone so Sirius knew it was shrunk in the side compartment of the bike.

"Are you trying to tell me you're bored" Sirius walked over to where Remus was straddling the white bike. He had a child like grin on his face as he held Sirius' folder in front of the man's face. "You seemed oh so bored." Remus chuckled as he pulled it away from the hands that tried to grab it. "Remus I need to finish," Sirius whined, "Then we can go!"

Remus handed him the folder and revved the motorbike, Sirius had taught him to drive it. Remus had been resistant to drive it at first, but Sirius had done more than pushed him onto it and forced the boy to learn. That way if he ever wanted to go far he didn't have to apparate or walk. And Remus once he figured out how to drive it had realized why Sirius had fallen in love with the mode of transportation. But he had kept it to himself because he'd much rather sit on the back or in the sidecar and watch Sirius drive it.

"You can stay here and write that boring report. Or we could go to a drive in," Remus grinned knowing he'd get his lover to cave. Sirius looked at him then to the folder in his hand; Remus watched the thoughts going through his head.

"You realize not even three months ago you'd scold me for what you're asking me to do." Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "What have I done to you?"

"Nothing wrong with a bit of fun." Remus chuckled, "besides you've been sitting there for hours writing that stupid report. Come ride with me Sirius, come sit through some movie with me." Sirius couldn't deny Remus if he tried, especially with the look on the other man's face. The pleading and temptation of avoiding work was too high as Sirius leaped on the back of the bike. "As long as you drive." Sirius chuckled nuzzling the back of Remus' neck. "Don't worry about the sidecar, since you can't drive with it."

"Shut up!" The bike was revved once more before it roared to life and was out of the flat's parking lot and was off down the road.

Needless to say they never saw a film; instead they drove past the drive in and kept going down the road. Once they dipped into the edge of the London's boundaries was when Remus started to turn around and ride back. It had been well past seven that night when the journey had started and now it was close to midnight as they pulled up into the parking lot again, the two boys very tired and ready for bed.

"I really hope you finished that." Remus chuckled motioning to the report Sirius was holding in his hand as he threw it onto the coffee table once they were back in the flat. "Otherwise I'm not only going to feel terrible but I'm crashing on the couch while you write it."

"Aww, well you're lucky I finished it and was only looking over it for mistakes." Sirius chuckled, "Which I still need to do. So go ahead and crawl in bed, I'll be in soon." he gave Remus a smile. "Promise."

"Alright, alright, hurry up then." he grumbled walking into the bedroom; he wasn't very pleased that Sirius had basically shot him down for a cuddling session.

Once the bedroom door was shut Sirius walked over to the door that to Remus was unlockable. And pulled out his wand, whispering a charm and the door opened. He had an hour to get more work done, and tonight he'd spend it lighting the room.

When Sirius' alarm clock didn't stop going off Remus raised up in bed to realize Sirius' side of the bed remained untouched. He sat bolt upright and walked into the living room panicked. "Sirius!" He called looking around, the thick curtains were drawn over the room so with a quick tug the opened up flooding the living room with light.

"AHHHH!" Sirius shouted from his place on the couch as he fell off the couch. "What's wrong?" he poked his head up over the coffee table.

"I highly doubt you'd be able to defend anyone," Remus crossed his arms over his chest, "with your wand tip pointed at you." Remus shook his head as Sirius looked down at his wand and chuckled weakly. "What happened to 'I'll be there in an hour?'?" Sirius chuckled nervously as he sat up on the floor. "Well…" he started "I sort of fell asleep?" Sirius grinned at Remus.

"How much did you really do till you passed out?"

"Didn't even open the file" Sirius chuckled, though in the room he'd worked the whole hour, sat on the couch and apparently had fallen asleep.

"So what, five minutes?"

"About that. Give or take a couple minutes." Remus shook his head. "What? It was your idea to run off!"

"Well…I wanted your attention." Remus looked at him, "there is nothing wrong with me wanting your attention. And you've been stuck in work all month…I got bored."

Sirius chuckled at the childlike reaction Remus was giving him. "Well what do you want me to do about that?" Sirius stood up and straightened his shirt out, "my only option is to quit work" he grinned as he walked over to Remus. "Is that what you want?"

"No…" Remus looked at the floor. "Just miss school I guess, we seemed much freer then."

"More like you're bored" Sirius chuckled and ran his fingers through Remus' hair. "We need to find something for you to do while I'm gone."

"I have the remodels to do."

"I should be here helping you" Sirius leaned his forehead Remus' and sighed. "I shouldn't be off working."

"Someone has to get paid; we can't live off of James' money forever. Plus what your uncle left you is almost gone is it not?"

"Yea…probably should have thought better of it when I bought my first flat and the bike." Sirius looked down at his hands, "shitty money control."

"You were young and you bought what you wanted, nothing wrong with that." Remus clapped his hand over Sirius' shoulder. "Calm down, once your done training we'll be on our own."

"It'll take us forever to pay James back."

"Once your mother dies I think your brother will split the money that's rightfully yours as well as his."

"This is why I keep you around." Sirius grinned and kissed Remus square on the mouth. "Once that old bat dies I'll be able to swim in gringotts if I wanted to."

"So much for being humble." Remus rolled his eyes.

"HEY! I am allowed to gloat about what I have been denied all because I don't believe in her craziness!" Sirius exclaimed glaring at Remus' shaking head. "There is nothing wrong with that!"

"Sirius go get ready for work, your gonna be late." Sirius looked at the clock and sure enough if he didn't move his ass he'd be late…again. And that's even without breakfast.

"DAMMIT!" he rushed into the bedroom. Remus shook his head chuckling and the half finished wall he had started last night. Today would be yet another day of old records and painting. But at least he'd have the day to himself. Though there was no denying how feminine he felt by basically being the stay at home wife. "Be back later Rem!" Sirius called as he rushed out of the door shutting it behind him.

"Yea…" he looked down at his cup of tea. He looked back up at the closed door and sighed "See you then."


	6. Men in Tuxes

**I had a idea to do something with the boys getting fitted for their tuxes for James' wedding...and well it started out that way. Though I feel like it sort of got away with me oh well XD I enjoyed it :D**

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><p>"I have no idea why we really have to wear these." Sirius grumbled inside of the changing room. "It's not like we're the stars of the show, it's meant to be your's and Lily's day, right?" Sirius had never worn a muggle tux before, it just simply was never done in the Black family they wore wizarding robes and that's how it was done. Not that a tux was much different but it still was odd for the jacket not to come down at least to his ankles.<p>

"Look, Sirius we know you hate being fancy, I honestly can't blame you but it's what Lily wants so buck up." James grumbled from his own changing room beside Sirius. "Honestly it's not that bad."

"Easy for you to say PRONGS!" Sirius grumbled. "Buck up, buck up he says!"

"Oh Sirius shut it." Remus grumbled from the room beside him. "Just put on the damn tux, wait for the woman to size is after its done get in change out and you're done." He couldn't take much more of his complaining, especially when inside he was dying to see him in it.

"At least you have to wear one too." Sirius chuckled "Though you should be in one of the bridesmaids dresses" he snorted only to yelp as Remus charmed his boxers to give him a wedgie "ok ok, I take it back!" he cried, and breathed a sigh of relief once he was released. "Tried to split my boys in half!"

"Are we ready to be fitted?" The woman standing outside of the fitting room asked. The three boys cleared their throats apparently they all had forgotten the woman had not left the room. "Or do you need a few more minutes?"

"No ma'am" James chuckled as he stepped out of his changing room. "Ignore my friends, they honestly haven't figured out how to grow up."

"Stuff it Potter" Sirius growled as he stepped out. "You only learned last year and it's because of your fiancée you learned so hush." James rolled his eyes not daring to make a comment about Sirius and Remus' relationship, not knowing how the woman standing in front of them might take it. Sirius had gone first due to the fact he wanted get in and out as quick as possible.

Once the fitting was done and the three boys were walking out of the bridal shop Sirius started laughing. "What's wrong with you?" James asked as they walked down the busy street. "I apparently don't act gay enough." Sirius snorted as he shook his head.

"Why do you say that?" Remus asked looking his boyfriend over, curious as to why he'd stated such a thing.

"Um," Sirius pulled a slip of paper out of his back pocket. "She slipped this in my trouser pockets of the tux when she was fitting me." He chuckled. "So when I changed it slipped out of the pocket and I didn't get to look at it, well I looked at it as James was checking out and apparently she handed me her number after she gave my ass a little bit of a squeeze." he laughed leaning against Remus. "I'm a wanted man."

"To bad I already marked you as mine" Remus chuckled, snatching the slip of paper from Sirius' hand. "And too bad for her she'll never get your call." With that the number was thrown in a near by trash bin and Remus walked away head held high. James and Sirius glanced at one another before laughing and rushing after Remus.

"Is little ole Remus jealous?" James teased.

"No, just wanna make sure Sirius doesn't tease the poor girl who honestly couldn't see how we were looking at one another." Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius' shoulder. "Women tend to be very stupid creatures when they are attracted to someone."

"Women would say the same about men." Sirius smiled and rested his head against Remus' not honestly caring about the older couple that walked beside them giving them odd looks. "But she was rather attractive was she not?"

"Attractive as she might have been doesn't take away from the fact your mine." Remus eyed him. "Course not." James chuckled draping his arm across Remus' shoulder. "Still gives the girl a right to flirt with him, its human nature. Though, poor girl might be grief stricken if she realized she picked a gay guy to hunt after."

"So what are we doing for a bachelor party James?" Sirius asked after Remus had stopped fuming over a woman daring to give him their number, though Remus would deny he was fuming it was very easy to tell he had been.

"No idea, probably the normal; drinking, strippers…girl strippers, and the like."

"Just because I date Remus, does not mean I cannot enjoy a half naked woman, and before you snap my neck Remus. Just because I can enjoy the beauty of a woman does not mean I love you any less." Sirius looked at both of his friends as he said his peace. Causing the two to burst into laughter. "WHAT?"

"The fact you think you need to tell me you don't love me less because you can look at women is actually quite insulting, I have come to terms that you like to look at other people. I have no quail with it anymore as long as you come home to me. To sleep in my bed I could honestly care less."

"So says the man who just got peeved that a girl gave Sirius their number." James snorted. "And why did you look at me, I know you can enjoy women I was just making sure you knew there would be no men." James laughed.

"I knew there wouldn't be" Sirius chuckled. "You can't handle both" he winked.

"I honestly could really care less if he looks at other women or men if he wants. Just I don't like THEM touching my man" Remus grinned. "Though if he can look so can I."

"No issue to that love," Sirius grinned. "Maybe one day we can have a threesome."

"Not gonna happen." Remus quickly shot the idea down. "So don't even start to think about it."

"Too late." James laughed as Sirius was already off in lala land.

"Oh, Dammit Sirius!" Remus smacked his forehead. "Stupid man."

"You sound like a woman when you talk like that," Sirius laughed.

"Well you sound like a typical man when you just run off with the idea like that." Remus punched Sirius lightly in the arm, "especially when you know the wolf wouldn't let us do that exactly."

"Could do it with another werewolf?" James shrugged.

"I might be Sirius Black, and can handle a lot of shit…but I am NOT going to be in the middle of two werewolves, one is rough enough." James' eyes went wide as he started at a blushing Remus. "W-well Padfoot thank you for letting me into your love life more than I wanted to be."

"WHAT!"

"Sirius…we need to talk about TMI." Remus chuckled. "Sorry about your virgin ears James."

"I know it's terrible!" James sighed. "Wedding cannot come sooner."

"Wait…seriously?" Remus starred at James.

"If we've both waited this long, what the hell is the point of blowing it off now?" James gave Remus a look. "I'm sorry were not like you two." James pointed between Sirius and Remus.

"HEY! It's not our fault we can't get married!" Sirius grumbled. "Hey…is that food I smell?"

"Someone's hungry." Remus laughed. "Probably should feed him before he gets any hungrier."

"Sounds like a damn good idea!" Sirius grinned. "And I'm proud of you Prongs, you waited this long for Lily, so when you guys get married…rawr!"

"Oh God…Padfoot shut up" James rubbed his forehead. "I don't believe you!"

"Speaking of after the wedding," Remus chuckled as he pulled Sirius into a small café James right at their heels. "Where are you and Lily going on your honeymoon?"

"Not sure yet." James put his hands in his pockets as Sirius started to order. "Lily wants to go some place sunny, so maybe we'll go state side?"

"And mess with the Yanks?" Sirius snorted. "Sounds like a blast, Remus one year we need to go to Florida."

"I am not going alone with you; I am not repeat AM NOT going to Disneyland alone with you!"

"AWWW!" Sirius whined. "It would be a fantastic date!"

"Alone…with you across the Atlantic, in a theme park…does not sound fun to me."

"Killjoy" Sirius grumbled as he gathered their food and they headed to a small table that sat outside facing the busy streets.


	7. Stag Party

**CHAPTER RATED M! Boy/Boy! Slash :D. It's right at the beginning so if you don't like it just skip down halfway and you should miss it. Enjoy!**

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><p>"Remus, promise me you won't act like an idiot," Sirius chuckled as he straightened his shirt in the mirror.<p>

"Why would I be acting like an idiot, that's defiantly meant to be your job." Remus grinned from behind him before kissing behind his ear causing Sirius to shiver. "Plus if you're a naughty boy, I'll drag you home and punish you." Sirius stomach tightened in a knot as Remus whispered in his ear. "Dammit Remus…do not make me hard right now." Sirius looked at Remus in his reflection. "It might do terrible things to the ladies."

"Want me to take care of it?" Remus' hand wandered below Sirius' belt causing the eldest Black to groan and hang his head. "Ohhh is that a yes?" Sirius nodded biting down on his lip. "Please." Remus shivered at the need in his voice. Remus quickly undid Sirius' belt and undid his pants letting them slide down his hips. Sirius groaned as he felt Remus' fingers run over the opening in his boxers. "Don't tease." Sirius breathed resting his hands on the sides of the mirror. Remus couldn't help but keep his fingers running over the opening which seemed to open more and more with each stroke of his fingers. "But it's so much fun" Remus breathed hotly against his neck causing goose bumps to form.

"I need you." Sirius whimpered. "So badly."

"How do you need me?" Remus ran his tongue over the side of Sirius' neck causing him to shiver. "I'm not sure, I just really need you." Remus couldn't help but chuckle as he could already tell that Sirius' mind was already hazy. "Have you missed me touching you?" Remus asked stroking the little bit of flesh that had become exposed through his boxers. Sirius gasped as Remus' warm fingers touched his skin. He nodded quickly hoping Remus' fingers would do more than just gently brush against him.

"Well, what have you missed most?"

"Your mouth" Sirius breathed, the room had suddenly gotten hotter and his cotton t-shirt was giving him no breathing room. "Where have you missed it most?"

"Against my own." Sirius whispered, he hadn't expected Remus to duck underneath his arm, putting himself between Sirius and the mirror and kissing his mouth. He hadn't expected his body to take over and pull Remus against him. To ravage the boys mouth with his own. And unfortunately he had forgotten that his pants had slid down to his knees and with taking a step back to move to the bed the two boys tumbled down to the floor.

"Well…" Remus chuckled from underneath Sirius' arms. "I think that's what people call a mood ruiner" he laughed but his laughter was quickly silenced by a gasp.

"Oh no, no you don't" Sirius breathed heavily kicking his shoes off. "Your not gonna make me all hot and bothered and think you can just get away from it." Sirius reached around and grabbed a handful of Remus as and gave it a squeeze. "No, you're going to feel just how much I need you."

Remus' world started to blur and haze over as his body became drunk with Sirius' husky voice as he groaned giving into the boy's rough hands against his body. Shirts were thrown off in-between breaks of passionate kisses. Remus' belt was off in a flick of Sirius' wrist and had found its way against Remus' ass with a whack, causing the werewolf to groan. Though deep down he was very happy he still had his pants on otherwise it might have actually hurt.

Pants came off next, first Sirius pulling Remus' off in quick jerk. While Remus preferred to tease Sirius even more by slowly pulling them off of his body. Sirius growling irritably at the slow pace practically needing for this to go much faster.

Once they were off Remus' boxers were literally ripped off of him the now torn in half boxers being thrown across the room as Sirius flipped Remus on his stomach pinning him against he carpet on their bedroom floor. "You wanted to tease me?" Sirius hissed in Remus' ear. "Well how about laying underneath me as punishment" he bit down on Remus' bare shoulder causing the wolf to growl underneath him but arch up to Sirius' hands than ran down his back and down to his ass.

"Sirius," Remus hissed, his hiss quickly turned into a gasp as he felt Sirius slide inside of him. "Ahhh!" He cried out digging his fingers into the carpet. He felt Sirius smirk as the boy rested his mouth against his shoulder, causing Remus to smile for a second before Sirius began to rock against him causing his body to follow his pace panting and groaning.

The act was rather quick from start to finish and now that they both needed a shower as they both laid sweaty and happily spent. "James is gonna kill us for being late" Sirius laughed pulling Remus against his still sweat covered chest. "Screw James," Remus chuckled kissing Sirius' chest. "I think I'd rather have you again," Sirius smirked. "You're lucky I'm too content not to punch you."

After a shower the two boys apparted to where James' bachelor party was being held. Hoping the quick popping in and out might make up for their time spent doing other things.

"You're late." James gave them a dark look. "You two are supposed to be EARLY since you know…you're my best mates!" The party was already in full swing. Drinks were being served and girls were already dancing and doing their thing as the twirled in-between men who were already into the party.

"Well," Remus chuckled looping his finger around Sirius' belt loop to keep him at his side instead of wandering over to one of the girls who had pointed to him wiggling her finger telling him to come over. "We were quite busy with one another." Remus chuckled jerking on the loop to get Sirius' attention.

"Hmm, oh yes right." Sirius chuckled, giving Remus an innocent smile as the blonde gave him a dark look. "Sorry Prongs, forgive us?" James chuckled and shook his head. "As long as you two don't start having a lover's spat here at the party all is forgiven" he motioned to Remus' finger. "So let him go Moon, enjoy yourselves but please…behave." Remus slowly let his finger go and Sirius gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, oblivious to anyone around and after grabbing a drink slipped into the crowd.

"You gonna be alright?" James asked, once Sirius had slipped away from his boyfriend. "I hope so, if not I'll sneak outside and take a breath." Remus sighed. "It's just hard ya know."

"Remus" James clapped his friend on the shoulder. "Everything will be alright; he's still Sirius after all despite him being your boyfriend. Can't keep a hound dog from chasing a bird can you?"

"No sadly I can't" Remus breathed a heavy breath and took a drink from the scotch in his hand. "Still makes me more nervous than hell."

"Aww come on Moon," came Peter's very drunk voice. "Sirius'll run right back to you once he's had his little party happen."

"Yea listen to Pete," James chuckled trying not to laugh as Peter tried his best to sit on the barstool and stumbling off of the seat a couple times. "He's just gonna go and enjoy the party like he always does. If Sirius is anything he's loyal, so don't worry about him." he smiled. "Go out find a girl and have fun." James and Remus cheered as James slipped off into his last night of freedom before becoming a husband.

Remus did as he was told and found himself rather enjoying himself after a few drinks of scotch. Despite being a wizard Remus had always enjoyed scotch; Sirius had teased him that it had to do with his Scottish blood why he enjoyed the stuff. Sirius had never been a fan of it much preferring fire whiskey. After a while dancing on the dance floor and enjoying the laughter of the people around him he had almost forgotten what had made him so aggravated in the first place.

That was until he heard a very girly giggle, causing him to turn and seeing a very frilly young blonde girl straddling Sirius' lap. His blood ran cold as he watched her knot her fingers in his hair. He could almost hear what she was whispering. And it caused him to grit his teeth, his jealously flaring up in him like a forest fire.

He had almost crossed the room, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Now Moony." the voice was clearly James' "Lets not start any trouble. Hey Padfoot!" Sirius' head poked to the side of the girl and he smiled at Remus. "Mind joining us marauders for a drink?" Sirius grinned as he picked up the girl very easily from his lap and placed her back in the chair before trotting over to his friends.

As they headed over to the bar Remus hooked his arm around Sirius' "You're in for it when we get home" Remus' breath was hot against his neck. He almost had thought it was trouble waiting for the young Black but as he looked at Remus' face he saw the look in his eyes and his knees went weak almost dragging Remus down to the floor with him as his body melted. Ohhh a wicked punishment awaited him when he got home. One he wouldn't really feel until the morning.


	8. Finishing Touches

**It was SOOO hard not to publish this right after I wrote it! I just LOVE this chapter! It made me very happy. And I drop a hint on what Sirius has been working on *gasps* I felt it was about time to give you guys SOMETHING as to what was going on in there. ALSO I did research and that piano exists and right now its priced at £3300. Which at the time was probably less BUT at the time five hundred dollars was a lot of money, and pianos at the time were a luxury item. Also James and Lily's wedding is the next chapter, do you guys mind if I write it in two parts? Since a wedding ceremony is actually quite long XD**

**Also I won't post another chapter till Sunday night at the latest. I have company and won't be on the computer. I might be able to get a chapter up saturday night but I'm not sure.**

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><p>The page of the newspaper turned as Sirius readjusted his position on the couch; he felt much like his father as he sat there. It was a Sunday afternoon, and the two were relaxed on the sofa, Remus never did anything on Sunday since the boy had been raised in a Catholic home and still despite magic and his now new found romantic situation still was a somewhat religious man. Sirius on the other hand always had Sundays off and tended to enjoy them the way Remus did, though it was not to be said Sirius did not believe in God because he did, but it was simply put he was more loose with his beliefs.<p>

"Remus," Sirius started as he flipped another page of his muggle newspaper, looking at one of the ads in the paper a wide grin slipping on his face. "Didn't you once upon a time play the piano?" Remus raised his head from his book and looked at Sirius like he had grown two heads, "Well yes, when I was younger. Why?"

"How come you don't play anymore?" Sirius asked folding the paper, and looking straight at Remus. "I've always wanted to hear you play." Remus starred at him blinking, unsure of just how to answer Sirius as he boy looked at him. "Well…simply because you've never been around me when a piano was around. And we don't exactly have space for one in this apartment now do we."

"We have room for an upright." Sirius smiled as he crossed his leg over his knee. Remus starred at him and looked around the small flat and then back to Sirius. "What have you done?" Sirius raised his hands in surrender but the smile on his face made it seem like he had done exactly what Remus was thinking "I have done no such thing!" Sirius held his head up "I would never make such a purchase without James' permission if I was spending his money!"

"No you'd send him an IOU once it was bought." Remus returned to his book ignoring the face Sirius sent his way.

"Get up." Sirius put the paper down and snatched the book from Remus' hands and tossed it onto the coffee table "We're going out."

"Where?" Remus starred at him reaching for his book. "It's Sunday Sirius, what on earth would be open today?"

"A piano store a few blocks down." Sirius wouldn't take no for an answer as he walked over to the door and slipped his shoes on and grabbed his leather jacket. "Come on Lupin, let's go."

"Sirius, we have no room for a piano!"

"I know, but still, let's go look. That way you can't get out of playing for me."

"What on earth is wrong with you?" Remus made his way over to the door knowing Sirius was not about to drop the subject and there was no way he was getting out of it. "Nothing is 'wrong' with me. I just want to hear you play and what's a better place than a piano store?"

"My parent's house?" Remus shut the door behind and locked the door as Sirius pushed forward on their journey out. "Well you never offered." Sirius chuckled as he slipped out of the front door, it was a beautiful autumn day and there was no way Sirius was going to pull his bike out despite how much he loved it. Autumn was his favorite time of year and he would much rather walk the streets than just zip past them. Remus dropped the subject as he watched Sirius' face light up as he walked the streets, not daring to ruin the boys joy as they walked along, he simply slipped his hand into Sirius' jacket pocket and locked his fingers with Sirius', causing Sirius to stare at him. It wasn't often that Remus showed affection in public simply because the wolf didn't need yet another thing to be judged for.

Once they reached the piano store Remus realized he might be just a little excited to be around pianos again. He hadn't honestly played in a few years and probably was very rusty. But stepping inside the polished store Remus felt a familiarity rush over him.

"So, what kind of piano did you used to play?"

"I believe mum said it was a studio piano." Sirius starred at him confusion written over his face. "It's not a grand piano which I'm sure is what your used to. It's more of an upright piano."

"OH I know what you're talking about! Mother used to try and teach me and Regulus to play piano when we were younger, I was more of the strings.""I know" Remus chuckled. "I've heard what happens when you get a hold of a guitar."

"I sold my old guitar you know, when I first struck out. It was how I kept myself fed and when I first left the Potters." Sirius walked along behind Remus as he followed him around. The two were hoping a sales rep didn't walk up to them. "You've never told me that." Remus looked at him. "I know how much you loved that guitar."

"Ahhh, I can always buy another, when I actually have the cash to." Sirius chuckled. "First thing I bought with my own money and the first thing to go when I didn't have any."

"May I help you two?" Sirius made a face they had been found by a sale shark.

"Just looking thank you." Remus nudged Sirius trying not to laugh. "I see you like the uprights." the rep continued, she smiled at Remus. "I played one as a child." Sirius shook his head; Remus was always to kind for his own good. "Ohhh, do you still play?" she asked leaning closer, Sirius couldn't help but chuckle as the girl pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

She was a petite woman, maybe five something. She had shoulder length, loosely curly, dirty blonde hair. Though she was small her legs went on for miles and she was not lacking in the front or back. Sirius had to cough to keep himself from laughing as the girl proceeded to lean forward as Remus sat down on the piano bench showing just how full she was in the front.

Sirius was never a very jealous man when it came to Remus, unless the girl or in a few cases guy couldn't take a hint. There was nothing wrong with a harmless flirt once in a while and this girl obviously couldn't tell Remus was taken.

"No, sadly I haven't had the chance to in a while. Been to busy with school and such." He smiled at the keyboard. "I'm probably very rusty." The girl looked at him as Remus ran his fingers over the keys. "This piano in general has a beautiful sound, its one I tend to play when no one is in the store." Remus chuckled as he looked up at Sirius. "Give us a go Rem" Sirius smiled. Remus looked from him to the keys then back to him. "Yes, please" the girl smiled. Girl was obviously laying it on thick for poor ole Remus. Sirius let himself sit beside Remus as the boy started to play.

He was right of course, at first it was a rough choppy play, but after a few moments the flow became more like a gentle stream as he played something he knew by heart. As he finished the last few notes he grinned wide, happy to actually be able to play again.

"Well Mr. Lupin," Sirius grinned. "That was damn beautiful, I got all teary eyed!"

"Oh shut up." Remus grumbled, as he stood up and closed the lid over the keys. "Out of curiosity," he mused as he flipped the tag attached to the piano over and his eyes bugged for a second before sighing. He looked over the mahogany piano, it was much like the one that was at his parents home, except newer. It was a 1976 Welmar, and sadly he had fallen in love with the piano. It was a beautiful both in looks and sound. "What?" Sirius asked peaking over Remus' shoulder. "That's not that bad!"

"Except I don't exactly have that." Remus sighed letting the tag slip from his fingers. "Ah well maybe next month," he chuckled, realizing the woman was looking at him. "Thank you for your time." He smiled.

"It was a pleasure, its not often people like you come in here, and can play like that." she smiled. Remus nodded and was turning his back. "I'll be out in a little bit Moony, I happened to see something I wanted to look at." Remus gave another nod as he slipped out of the store.

Once outside he looked up at the sky and sighed, he was never a person who really wanted much. Knowing it was quite a stupid thing to want when he'd never have the money to actually buy anything. Due to his condition, then again Sirius had promised him once the money came in that he could have anything he wanted. And at the moment he felt very greedy as inside he was hoping that day would be soon.

"Come on Moony," Sirius linked his arm with Remus' causing the boy to gasp and nearly stumble as he was jerked forward. "Let's go to that bookshop you like."

"What did you do, why are you trying to spoil me?"

"I saw your face," Sirius looked at him. "I didn't mean to upset you. I wouldn't have taken you if I had known it would have."

"It's not that Sirius," Remus sighed. "I guess the fact that not only are we living off of James' money. But the fact you're the only one who actually will get a job because I'm a-" he looked around, "a werewolf doesn't help my mind. I hate having to rely on people to make ends meet."

"Once I have enough money to support us, were gonna open up some sort of business…and your gonna run it." The two chuckled. "Just you can't be a stripper, your body is mine and mine only." Remus nuzzled Sirius' shoulder as he felt himself breath in the scent that always made him feel safe. "Aww…but that sounded like so much fun." The two laughed even harder as they continued on, Remus soon forgot about the piano and about all of his troubles the second he entered the book store. While Sirius couldn't help but grinning as the last bit of money his uncle had left him had finally been spent the way he wanted to. Finishing the last touch to the room.


	9. Then Comes Marriage pt 1

**The wedding! Well part of it XD Not much left of 1979 after this, were in late Novemeber here, probably the last week or so. I really need to figure out how to make sure you guys know the dates XDD, probably would help with the story telling wouldn't it? Part two of the wedding will be posted tomorrow :D**

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><p>The jacket slid over Sirius' shoulders and he felt his stomach knot up. It was ten minutes until he lead one of Lily's friends up the aisle, to stand beside James as he gave his promise of forever to the woman he'd loved for seven years. He looked himself over in the mirror and felt himself fall away.<p>

Fall away to a point in his life where he looked at everything he had and realized that it would be nothing without his friends, especially Remus. Who despite everything had stood by his side, he rested his hand on his shoulder rubbing where the mark lay hidden away. He realized that he had also been secretly promised forever.

"Sirius?"

"Huh?" Sirius looked away from the mirror and looked at James, who despite his typically relaxed persona was jittery and wide eyed. "What's a matter?" James asked looking Sirius over. "Nothing much," Sirius smiled, "just lost in a daydream."

"One day you'll get to walk down the isle too." James chuckled, "Once the rest of the world figures out it's not such a bad thing."

"Thanks Prongs." Sirius rolled his eyes but kept the smile on his face, "what's it like?" James looked at him oddly titling his head. "Knowing your giving your life to someone? Well…I mean…" Sirius sighed and rubbed his temple. "I mean getting married I guess. Dad never had a pretty picture of it so…I guess I'd like to know when it's for love instead of whatever reason possessed my father."

"It's scary as hell." James sat down on one of the chairs in the panel covered room, he sighed. "It's like once you say I Do, there is no turning back."

"Could always divorce." Sirius chuckled sitting down, "It's never written in stone."

"It is," James looked at Sirius. "Marriage is never something to toy with." he chuckled. "Do you want to know why we rushed the wedding?" James stood to his feet and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder and squeezed. "Why?" Sirius didn't like the look in James' eyes as the boy looked out the dusty window of the church.

Since the war had started weddings were never large events. It was always a big deal when one got married, but after attacks had happened in quite a few weddings it had become a silent event only celebrated by those who knew the two getting married well. It was too dangerous, especially with it being the Potter's boy. It was no secret James was a wanted target for the Death Eaters, not for death. But to join, the Potter's had much influence over most of the wizarding world, and endless funds as it was. But not only that but the Potter's were an old line of Godric Gryffindor, and the power behind the family was immense.

"This war is gonna get worse," James started not pulling his hazel eyes away from the window. "And I want to die with the whole world knowing I married Lily Evans. I want the whole world to know I loved that woman more than anything."

"There isn't a human being a live who knows you two and doesn't know that."

"That's not the point." James looked down at Sirius and squeezed again. "The point is that I want people to know blood didn't mean a damn thing, in this war that's what it's for. I want to be someone who married for love, despite all of the dangers it came with. I want the whole world to know, if I die that I died for love."

Sirius starred at him, unable to look away from the dark hazel gaze that had his storm cloud grey eyes locked. He couldn't speak as he just starred. James had confined in him his fears of the war, but this was different. Sirius understood what the gaze meant. The silent question that was being asked, 'if I die…'

"You're getting married," Sirius jerked away; unable to keep the gaze any longer he couldn't take the feeling from the gaze, like someone was pouring ice cold water down your spine. "Were not talking about death today!"

"Promise me," James' voice was distant and empty. "You're my best man, my best friend, my brother…promise me."

"Your not going to die, were gonna grow old and when this damn war is over we'll sit out on someone's front porch and laugh about this!"

"Promise me, if I die, or the death eaters get me, you'll protect Lily."

There, it was said. Out loud and in the open, and the words echoed off the walls. It shook Sirius to the core. He stood there, the two clad in tuxes, about to walk up the isle to watch the beautiful Lily Evans take the name of a man who had chased her for seven years. "Prongs…" Sirius looked down at his feet unable to meet the gaze that he knew would be full of fear.

"Your about to get married…"

"And I need to know now you'll do what I can't if the worst happens…I need to know you'll take over for me." James' voice cracked with the end of his words. Sirius felt his hands shake; this was supposed to be a happy day. And here they were talking about his best friend dying.

"I will." he couldn't look up; he couldn't shake the bad feelings that now embraced him. The dark images that started to flood his mind. Would he die fighting right beside Sirius? Would he die on his way home? Would they capture him and torture him? Sirius clenched his jaw and tried his best to calm his now frantic mind. He jumped as he felt a hand clap his shoulder.

"Thank you" James murmured, squeezing his shoulder again. "Now," the chipper tone in his voice back. "Let's go and get hitched!" he grinned.

"Yea, yea" Sirius grumbled, "Rub it in my face." Sirius snorted. James laughed and ushered the boy out of the room. "Come on happy day remember!" Sirius glared at him; oh yes so happy, five seconds ago they were just talking about James dying. The second Sirius' foot hit the door jam a smile slipped on his face, composing himself for James. Later he'd curl up beside Remus and tell him just how scared he was.

Remus pushed the door open and starred at the red head; the white dress she was wearing caused her dark red hair to stand out like a beacon. She didn't hear him come in as he slowly shut the door, she was looking out the window, and he could see the concern written all over her face.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked causing her to jump. "Remus," Lily turned putting her hand over her chest. "Scare a girl to death, why don't you?" she smiled.

"Let's not, James would do more than kill me if I did." Remus chuckled, picking up the veil and walking over to her. She looked down at the veil and then back to him. "What's wrong? Having second thoughts about marring James? I don't blame you…he's a handful." he looked her over, she looked perfect. Like any bride should, but her eyes were dark with worry.

"No," Lily laughed taking the veil from his hands. "Just…worried."

"James is a gentle guy; he'll be good to you."

"It's not that!" Lily laughed shaking her head.

"Um…Sex isn't that painful?" Remus raised an eyebrow. Lily laughed louder leaning on him, Remus rubbed her back smiling. He still wasn't sure why she had wanted him but he was sure she had needed a laugh. "Thank you," she finally whispered from his shoulder. "For everything." The lump that formed in Remus' throat scared him. When she leaned back and looked up at him the lump held tighter to his throat.

"What Lily?" He asked. "I'm scared." she breathed resting her forehead against his shoulder. Remus kept rubbing his back. "Why?" he asked looking down at her, she looked back at him and sighed.

"The war," Lily pulled away; she ran her hand over her stomach. "You know what comes after marriage." Remus felt himself chuckle, he hadn't meant to, and when she looked at him he cleared his throat.

"I mean…" he started. "Lils you're about the safest person in this whole world. James would rather die than anything ever happened to you, hell any of us would. Especially if that happens." He gave her a look. "Besides, if you don't want kids, at least right now. There are things to help, birth control and such."

"But…"

"But what?" Remus asked. "If you want kids then have them. War or no war." he sat down and opened his arms for the girl to come to. She came and hid in his arms. Lily always came to Remus when the world scared her; nothing scared away fears like a werewolf.

"Now this is going to be a happy day." he started. "Because you can't tell me you don't want to get married."

"I do."

"Then why are you worrying, if you have a baby it's a miracle not something to be afraid of." He chuckled, "And besides, maybe we'll get lucky this war might end soon."

"I hope so." Lily smiled and rested his head against Remus' shoulder. "You'll see Lils, give it a year. You and James enjoy being married do all the crazy stuff married couples do. And in a year this war will be over and you and James will have kids and the world will be a better place for it." Lily gave him a big smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Remus," she raised up straightening her dress she was terrified to walk down the isle, but at the same time so happy she could barley contain it. "Really, for everything."

"Don't mention it," he smiled, holding out his arm. "Come on Miss. Evans" the grin she gave him lit up the whole room. "Enjoy your last moments as Lily Evans; because once you say I Do to James…they are a thing of the past."

"Sounds like fun" she took his arm. "Lead the way wolf boy."

Remus led her to where her bridesmaids were and gave Sirius a cheek splitting grin which the boy happily returned. The girls were in dresses of a dark mint green, it was a simple dress, nothing too fancy. There were only two girls, keeping the wedding small. One for Sirius and Remus to walk down both girls were Lily's friends from school. Only family and very close friends would be sitting in the pews today.

The two marauders took their assigned girl and with the opening of the large oak doors the wedding started.

James had walked up with his parents, and with the start of the soft music Sirius turned his head and gave Remus a wink before he started his own way up the isle.


	10. Then Comes Marriage pt 2

**And the ending of the wedding. Fair warning...this story is about to start getting dark. So...just a heads up.**

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><p>The piano started to play and the people in the pews rose. The door reopened again and all heads turned as the crack in the door opened wider and wider to reveal Lily and her father, the two walked slowly up the isle.<p>

He was whispering to her, camera bulbs were flashing trying to capture every moment. Both muggle and wizarding cameras were flashing and somewhere in the back of the room someone had a video camera on taking a video of the whole ceremony.

Sirius smiled as James stepped down the three two steps separating the stage from the rest of the church holding out his arm to his wife to be. Giving her father a big smile and whispering to him before the two made their way back up the stairs, preparing for one of the biggest steps in their lives.

Sirius tuned out most of the wedding service, since James had warned him if he even dared to object when the moment came he'd strangle him. Only when James cleared his throat, did he stir he looked at James and smiled, he had his cue. Digging his hand into his pocket he pulled out two golden bands, the wedding rings.

He felt a lump form in his throat, they didn't weigh much but the symbolic meaning weighed heavily on his shoulders. As he looked down at the golden bands he felt a bitterness form in his throat, he'd never really get to give Remus the same symbol.

He held them out and smiled, James couldn't hide the grin that spread over his face. This was it with the exchange of these rings Lily belonged to him, as he belonged to her. James turned back and looked and Lily, both of their hearts racing. This was it do or die.

"You may now kiss the bride." The words were like the lightning before the thunder, because the second they were said James pulled Lily tightly against him pushed her veil over her face and kissed her, causing the little chapel to burst into loud clapping and cheers.

Once they two pulled apart, James and Lily Potter looked at the group around them, their faces covered with wide grins.

The reception was much larger than the wedding ceremony. And when James and Lily walked through the door, both changed into much more relaxed clothes cheers broke out again. "AND NOW!" Sirius called "INTRODUCING MR. AND MRS. POTTER!" He shouted as the two stood grinning ear to ear at the new found names.

Dancing and merriment was enjoyed the whole night through. James and Lily were never but a foot away from one another the whole night. Sirius had never been so happy for James. He had gotten the girl of his dreams and at the moment life was perfect for him.

Nothing was going to go wrong, Sirius had made sure. There were enough aurors at the party nothing was going to happen. "I guess that's a good thing about being a auror," Remus looked at him as Sirius took another sip of his drink "when you throw a big party your always safe." he grinned at Remus as the boy started to laugh.

"Always lookin' on the bright side Pad," he chuckled.

"Wouldn't be me if I didn't," Sirius smiled. "So you gonna dance with me Moon?" he looked back at Remus who had gotten up. "I mean it's only fair we are a couple!"

"Will you be quiet!" Remus hissed covering Sirius' mouth. "Not everyone and their mothers knows nor needs to know about that." Remus sighed as he felt Sirius frown underneath his hand. "Sirius…its just, its not accepted, were well…sorta freaks."

"Well way to ruin any mood I might have later." Sirius grumbled taking another swig of his drink. "I take that as a no for dancing."

"Siri…" he sighed, already knowing he'd hurt Sirius' feelings. "You always act like a child. You knew this wouldn't be easy" he motioned between the two of them. "I'm sorry I wanted to dance with you." Sirius grumbled. The conversation was dropped as James and Lily came into view laughing and smiling. Sirius raised his glass and smiled, Remus could tell the conversation was forgotten by the look in Sirius' eye.

"Why aren't you two dancing?" Lily asked as she sat down at the table Remus and Sirius had occupied. "Remus says it's weird." Sirius shrugged, "How about it Lils, wanna dance with me?" Sirius grinned.

"Take her, she's killing my feet." James laughed as Sirius took Lily's hand and led her to the floor. "So what's up Rem, I haven't seen you a lot tonight."

"You've been quite busy." Remus chuckled, "Though that's how it's supposed to be when one gets married."

"You're not mad at me are you?" James asked leaning forward on the table. "Sirius has already told me he's mighty jealous. So I figured I'd ask."

"Why the hell is Padfoot jealous?" he asked, his eyes not focused on James, but on Sirius and Lily as they twirled round and round. Sirius had known how to dance since he was a small child and watching him waltz with Lily caused his gut to twinge in jealousy. "The whole marriage thing." James chuckled knowing he didn't have Remus' full attention.

"No I'm not mad or jealous, it's just not time for that is all. It's perfect for you guys, but Sirius and I. Were already sort of married, if he'd think about it really."

"You know Padfoot." James leaning back in his chair resting his foot on top of his knee and rubbing his aching calf. "He never thinks things like that through."

"Romantic by default, have you seen Pete?" Remus nudged in Peter's direction as he dancing with one of the girls at the party. "Seems like ole Pete might get himself a shag." He snorted taking a drink. "What?"

"You understand what you just said right?" James starred at him an amused look on his face. "Yes, so?" James just shook his head; the alcohol had to be getting to him.

The flat door sung open as Remus tossed the keys onto the key rack. "You alright Rem?" Sirius asked chuckling as Remus hummed walking in the door. "Perfectly fine. Now," with a flick of his wand the record players arm fell and a record started to play. "Come dance with me Sirius Black."

"You're drunk as hell." Sirius snorted walking over to Remus after shutting the door. "The place you need to be is in bed."

"No I need to be right here, dancing with you." Remus held out his arms. "Now get over here and dance with me. Or I shall dance all by myself." The wolf huffed and indeed started to twirl alone. "Nothing is sadder than a man who has to dance by himself." Sirius sighed, he watched for a few moments before giving up the chase and cutting in. "You're a horrible dancer, no wonder no one dances with you."

"I am a damn good dancer!"

"No…no your not," Sirius laughed. "Listen to the music follow the beat." Sirius took the lead and danced him around. The two couldn't stop laughing as they twirled around, both of them stepping on the others toes once or twice before Remus finally fell in line with Sirius.

"Bout damn time!" Sirius chuckled as the two danced around.

"Shut it."

The danced for a while, getting lost in the moment. Letting their worries and stresses fade as they danced in circles around the living room. Their eyes never unlocked as they danced around. Still dressed in their tuxes from the wedding, Sirius had long since lost his vest and his jacket lay against the back of the couch. Remus had only removed his jacket when he had walked in the door.

Only when the record scratched when it played through did the two come back to reality and when they did Sirius made the wrong step, grabbed Remus and the two toppled over the coffee table.

With a loud crash the two groaned and rolled away from one another. "And who is a bad dancer?" Remus groaned from his side of the coffee table. "You distracted me," Sirius whined from his side. "Damn that hurts," he grumbled. "Next time make sure were not right behind the damn table," Remus growled.

After a few moments of recovery the two sat up and looked at one another, the silence lasted only a few moments before the two burst into uncontrollable laughter, holding their stomachs and panting for breath. "OK, I think it's safe to say its bed time." Remus chuckled when he could finally breathe again. Sirius nodded as the two stood up.

Sirius stopped in the door way and looked at the locked door, then looked back at Remus who smiled at him. The room could wait one night, tonight he was going to curl up next to his lover and fall sound asleep in the mans arms.


	11. Dark Times Lie Ahead

**This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written, so it might drag on a points BUT I hope you guys like it :D**

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><p>It really was an unnecessary purchase, but the new wizarding radio sat on the desk that was against the wall as Remus sat back in his chair waiting. The day was long and the sun had long since set and a half moon was now high in the sky. It wouldn't be long now till Remus was back again in the cellar going through the full moon routine, and Sirius would be at his side as always. They'd tried for months just to let Remus be down there alone, but after the third month of scratches and pain Sirius realized that the wolf needed him, and he would ditch work those nights.<p>

But tonight Sirius was very late from work; he should have been home hours ago, before the sun had even started to set. He was used to Sirius being late from time to time, but tonight it was too late for normal. He jumped from his seat on the couch as the static jumped to life with someone's voice. Fear clutching Remus like a motherly embrace, one that would not let him breathe.

"This is Major calling home base over!" Remus knew that voice, Sirius was in a fight. He could hear the spells zipping around him.

"Home base over, where are you Major?"

"Over here in Piccadi- augh!" The radio receiver cut out with Sirius' cry of pain. Panic rushed over Remus like a fever covering his whole body in a cold sweat. He was hoping he'd fallen fast asleep, and he'd wake up any moment.

"Major!" came a shout on the ministry's end. "Is anyone there?"

"We've lost them!" came another shout from the same end. "Send a group to Piccadilly!"

The static from Sirius' end opened up again and Remus breathed a sigh of relief he was ok! "This is Lancelot; we have a dark mark in the sky!" Remus didn't know this voice, but it only made the panic return, "Major is down, many of us are, and more Shadows are coming, we need backup fast!" the radio cut out again.

Remus sat on the edge of the sofa shaking; Sirius was injured and most likely sitting out on some London street dying. He rose to his feet pacing, he wondered how many families were doing the same as himself. All of them sitting around a wizarding radio, listening to see if they would be on the list of the dead or injured in the night raids.

"Lancelot come in, we need a status report!" a woman's voice called over the ministry end of the two way radios. No answer came; Remus could sense the waiting breathes of so many people. Would the man, who from his voice sounded maybe twenty answer back? Would anyone be around? It was very uncommon for a whole batch of Aurors even those in training to end up dead. But lately, it'd happened more than once. Two of Sirius' own comrades in training had been killed.

Remus waited, for what seemed like years till Lancelot's voice came back on the receiver. "They are leaving, He's called them back. We need back up, people are dying out here. Muggles and wizards alike. Bring Obliviators."

Remus knew a lot of the codes for what the Ministry used for the two way radio brodcasts. Shadows were Death Eaters, weak ones, typically those who had just been recruited. They were ones who typically everyone fought, if there were anything different Remus would be unable to control his fear. Major was Sirius' codename since his name came from Canis Major.

Remus wondered if Lily was listening tonight. James was always at Sirius' side on Auror missions simply because the boys never were apart. The two were a deadly force and were best when they were paired together. He also wondered if hidden in the Black house would Orion be listening. Wondering if his oldest son would make it today? Or wondering if maybe Regulus would be in the list of Death Eaters injured or killed.

Remus looked down at his hands before rubbing his face, he couldn't take the silence, and he needed the list. He needed to know where Sirius was, so he could run to him.

After every battle, or known battle that comes through the ministry they have a radio listing of those injured and where to find them. Death Eaters and Aurors alike, as well as any civilian or helping wizard who was involved in the fight.

And then came the list of the missing, it only would be of Aurors from the fleet sent. Anyone else, well they wouldn't know unless someone mentioned them.

And then was the list of the dead, anyone dead would be listed here. This was the most dreaded list of them all; the list grew day by day. More and more men and women died.

Despite only having the radio for only a few hours Remus knew how it worked. He also knew in a few hours they would have the day's list of captured, injured, missing and dead. He knew if Sirius came home he'd either react two ways to the new object, refuse to it ever being on when he was home. Or it'd never be turned off.

Hopefully his reaction would be the first. Remus didn't think he could bare hearing all the warnings day in and day out. He only was concerned when Sirius or James was out. As heartless as it sounded it was the only times he could bare to hear the terrible news.

When one left Hogwarts they were told a bright and long future was ahead of them, right now the only thing Remus thought was bright in his future was every full moon he would have to face. Nothing in this world right now seemed bright.

The commentator was talking now, with a list. With the call of Major on the injured list Remus stood up, and gathered his things. Ready to leave to the destination, but he waited. Listening to the names, how many of them had families, children? His blood ran cold as they covered the missing, only two for this raid. And finally the deaths.

He waited, holding his breath, making sure James wasn't on the list, and when he knew that it was all clear with a pop he was gone. Heading straight for Saint Mungo's.

Once there he looked around, so many people had followed his lead. The radio was listened to much more than he imagined, over in the corner was a grieving woman, a baby carriage to her right and a five year old to her left. He figured she was now a widow, he swallowed back the guilt as he walked forward. He couldn't look at anyone else; he couldn't dare look a man or woman in the eye who had just lost someone, when he knew down that hall Sirius would be alive.

"May I help you?" the sweet voice caused Remus to jerk his head up and stare at the woman, her dark brown hair framed her already red eyes. She must be new, tonight might be her first night of shift with attacks.

"I'm looking for Sirius Black, he was just admitted after the attack." his voice cracked with every word, the sounds of crying and the smells of fear and anguish was too much for his wolf senses. He could hear the wolf inside him cry for these people.

Despite it being a dark creature, the wolf had just as much feeling as he did. And he just like Remus could not take grief, wolves were pack animals and when someone of your pack passed away the grief was unbearable. And even though these people he didn't know he could feel their pain and their hurt and it caused him to ache deep in his chest.

"Ahhh Sirius, yes. You'll have to take a seat, he's in intensive care, and they got him bad with an unknown spell. Someone will be with you when more is known. May I take your name?"

"Remus Lupin," he breathed, he was shocked his name came out so easy. His body inside was shaking, intensive care? That was never a good thing. She led him to the waiting room, once he was in the room he made a beeline to the closest chair and as he got there he felt his legs give in and he collapsed in the chair and hid his face in his hands. Not letting himself cry, no he couldn't do that right now.

Hours passed by, and the room grew louder with other people waiting to be given the ok to go see their injured loved ones. And one by one the room cleared out. Until he was the only one left, he could easily figure out just why he wasn't being called.

He was merely Sirius' friend. Not his wife or a sibling, or parent. They'd have to wait till Sirius was completely in the clear before they updated him. He was sure Sirius' father had come and demanded to know what was going on, as well as to see his son. James probably was also granted admission for the simple fact that he had been in the same battle and would know what had happened.

Another thing Remus had against him was he was well known at St. Mungo's and not for anything good. This had been where he had come the morning he had been bitten, they knew him here. He'd been admitted into the ward for creature induced injuries. He had been pitted as a child, having to grow up with such a dark and dangerous condition. And it wasn't any wolf that had bitten him; it'd taken years for someone to figure out who had bitten him, and why they'd been so close to his family home

It was no ordinary wolf it was an alpha wolf, Fenrir Greyback had bitten him, who was the alpha of his own wolf pack, who when bitten had been bitten by another alpha. So it was in Remus' blood as a wolf to be an alpha, and alpha werewolves were dangerous, the hardest to control. So there was almost no chance he'd be allowed near Sirius.

"Remus," someone called, his head rose up and noticed the dark red hair instantly. Lily.

"Lily, have you seen him?" Remus asked looking up at her. Lily was dressed up as a healer; she was a healer in training. So there was a good chance she'd seen him at least once.

"Yes I have, he's asked for you twice. But there was just…so much blood. Only healers have seen him, so no worries were not shutting you out." She patted his thigh. "I've looked for you everywhere. It's been hard to find you along with working. But I owed it to you, to find you."

"Is he stable?" he asked searching the emerald green eyes. "Yes he's stable, his father saw him first. Which we figured you would understand. You know how Orion can be."

"I do, he probably was a handful."

"Much like any parent should be in this situation," she sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. "A shitty time to get married, with all this death around. It's getting harder and harder on us Remus. James and I talked last night about running away." she looked at him. Remus looked back at her, fear in both of their eyes. James never ran away from anything, it was simple but in the mist of a dark war and with a newly wedded wife he wasn't too surprised.

"We talk about it all the time." she continued "The war that is, both from my healer eyes and his auror eyes. Remus…this has only begun."

"I know," Remus patted her leg. "And we'll all get through it. Just like we've said for years, anything bad is to happen, if the whole world was to crash and burn, it'd be us five standing among the rubble the last people alive."

"I'd be screwed." Lily laughed loudly, "Literally, I'd have to repopulate the earth."

"Sounds like a painful process." James soft chuckle was heard from the doorway "Its time to head home Lils, lets get Rem to Sirius' room and go to bed."

The walk down the white halls was agonizing. James stood on his left and Lily to James' left. He felt weak as he walked down the bleach smelling halls, so many rooms were now full of people, and it had been a large battle tonight. And it was only going to get worse. He could hear people crying, all of them different. Some were in pain, some in anguish, some in misery; some…some where the type of cries only a mother could make, when it's all over when she's outlived one of her babies. That's the type of cry that Remus can remember the most. It's the one that hits home. Because he can remember when he was in his own bed at five years old, the same cry echoing outside of his own room.

"Remus?" James whispered. "You ok?"

"Would you be if your places were swapped?" Lily asked taking James' hand as the stood outside of Sirius' room. "He's alright now Remus, just…weak." He nodded he couldn't speak but he turned and faced them, his eyes finally rimmed tears. Unable to keep them at bay any longer. He gave Lily a kiss on the cheek before holding her tight, opening his arm and letting James in clinging to the two like if he let go they'd be gone.

"He's safe Remus," James whispered. "He'll be ok in the morning, besides you get to take care of him for a while so one knows what you two will do." he winked. Lily elbowed him but James' joke had worked causing Remus to smile and his fears subside.

The two didn't leave his side until he walked in the room. Urgent care only allowed one visitor at a time, for the simple fact patients didn't need so much commotion around them while they healed. Remus stood over a sleeping Sirius and stroked the hair out of his face.

He could recall so many mornings in the hospital wing when Sirius had been in his place and Remus in his. He watched him slowly breathe, never really knowing just how much he relied on the sound to feel safe. His soft breathing slowly lulling Remus' worries and fears till they no longer lingered in his head.

He sat down in the chair behind him and took Sirius' hand and held it in his own. Just listening to Sirius' soft breathing before bringing Sirius' hand to his mouth and kissing each of his knuckles softly, tears trickling down his face with each kiss.

It'd been too close today, to close to him losing him forever. He rested his forehead on the top of Sirius' hand not daring to let it go. His hand became Remus' lifeline as he sat there, trying to control his emotions, Sirius didn't need this. Not now. Tomorrow when they were home he'd curl up beside him and sob, tell him just how stupid being an Auror was, and how he should quit. Tell him how much he loved him and how scared he was.

But right now, he'd just cling to his hand, and listen to the soft breathing that told him everything was ok, for tonight the world was safe once more.


	12. Injury and Sickness

**Chapter 12 - Injury and Sickness**

**This WAS supposed to be when the Marauders and Lily joined the order…it never happened; instead this is what came out. So yea…sorry for random filler. It's still pretty funny. And if you haven't guessed the spell Sirius was hit with was Sectumsempra. So you can only imagine who he was fighting against.**

It had been a few days since the attack on Piccadilly, and Sirius had yet to return to work. The unknown spell had cut him from head to toe, leaving gashing marks all over his body. The healers who had worked on him had been lucky enough to at least stop all of the bleeding, and now day after day he laid in his and Remus' bed and dealt with the slow healing process.

"Remy!" Sirius called as he attempted to roll over. "I'm fucking bored!"

"Well there isn't much you can do, you're still at risk of opening up your wounds, and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we." Remus chuckled, shaking his head at his lover's attempts to adjust his position on the bed; Sirius was never one to just lie around. Unless it was on his own time, if it was forced…it drove him nearly crazy.

"Look here smartass," Sirius growled. "Full moon is tonight and I will NOT sit up here in this bed and NOT be with you, it won't happen."

"James is coming tonight, to sit with you for that exact same reason, then again it might be Lily who sits with you while James comes with me. It depends upon if Peter can actually join us or not."

"And what on earth will you do down in that cellar with a rat? Chase him around the four corners of the room?" Sirius shouted slamming his fist on the bed. "I can't take this any more Remus I am going absolutely bonkers!"

"You're going to have to Sirius," Remus sighed sitting on the bed. "You think I enjoy listening to your whining and complaining all day?" Sirius glared at him and did a hasty roll to the other side before yelping in pain. "IF you bleed all over my new bed sheets I will kick your ass!" Remus grumbled.

"EXCUSE ME FOR BEING INJURED!"

"Well then don't be a dramatic asshole and try and rip your cuts wide open!"

"Are we having a bit of a domestic?" Lily poked her head in the doorway, "Sorry James and I sort of just popped in. Are we interrupting?"

Remus shook his head and sat up, "I'm guessing Peter wrote you two then?" Lily nodded and sighed. "Apparently dear Peter is sick, and can't help us tonight. So I'll be sitting with Sirius, while James goes with you."

"GREAT RUB IT IN MY FACE!" Sirius shouted burring his face in the pillow. "Ignore him, he's losing his mind." Remus patted Sirius backside and grinned as the boy grunted. "He'll probably try and follow me, so you'll have to be on your toes Lily, he can't leave that bed unless his bladder is about to explode."

"Got ya," Lily smiled. "While we wait for the sun to set shall I make dinner?"

"I thought we were gonna go out!" James shouted from the living room, grinning ear to ear. "STUFF IT PRONGS!" Sirius barked, it really was too much fun to tease Sirius. "Were not leaving you Padfoot, so hush, James is just trying to ruffle your feathers."

"He's doing a bloody damn good job!" Sirius huffed, "Rem…I'm bored." Remus chuckled and rubbed his back, "I can't do much for you."

The evening passed with games and conversation till at seven o'clock Remus took to leave, James at his heels. "I'll be back in the morning. Lily…watch him, seriously he'll slip through your fingers in an instant if you're not careful."

"Let him try," Lily gave a sweet smile. "I'll knock him flat on his ass so fast he won't know what hit him," her once sweet smile was turned into a smile that resembled how James or Sirius looked when a prank was successful. Both James and Remus shivered, Sirius was in for it if he tempted to cross the red head.

"If you can catch me," Sirius chuckled from his sitting position on the bed. And like that Sirius was chained to the bed. "Ohhh, kinky!" he grinned a wide grin. Lily smirked, "You think so?"

"Ok I'm gone behave you two," Remus shook his head, even though he knew it was all a joke the wolf inside didn't quite like the game. "REM wait up!" James called after him.

It was three hours into Remus' transformation, three hours away from him and Sirius was slowly starting to lose any of the sanity he had left.

"LILY!" He shouted as he flopped down on the bed, frustration from being locked up was finally started to cause his shell to crack. "LILY EVANS!"

"My name is Lily Potter, and if you can't give a girl FIVE seconds to pee then you might just want to get a hold of yourself!" She huffed, "now how can I be of service?"

"Can I PLEASE get up? Just for a minute?" Sirius whined, his eyes pleading for the girl to let him get up and stretch his legs. Lily shook her head and sighed, "Come on Lils…you know it'd be good for me, I need it!"

"You don't need it, you want it. And if I let you up, you'll never sit back down. That and Remus will kill me for endangering you." she put her hands on her hips. "Besides, James would be very upset if something happened to you."

"All I want to do is walk around! I'll be slow!"

Lily looked at the man who only months ago stood so strong and proud, was now laying in bed begging just to be allowed to walk. Lily was normally a very strong person, and never let anyone get to her. But tonight she was feeling a little lenient. And despite her better judgment she sighed, "If I can walk beside you, fine. BUT you only allowed to walk in the apartment, no farther. Understand me, and you have five minutes." Sirius' eyes lit up like the fourth of July as he nodded like a child, pure excitement was what Lily was looking at.

Even though it had only been a few days since the boy had really taken any length of walking, she'd seen the charms effect on his body, and with how much blood he had lost it was no surprise the boy's movements were jerky and slow. They walked the length of the bedroom floor out into the living room, and once there Sirius sighed.

The walk had been to try and keep his mind busy. To keep him from thinking of Remus who was just four floors down, hidden in a cement cellar. He looked at the front door, daring to make a rush, but he knew in the state he was in he might be able to just get out the door before Lily had caught him. He felt her hand on his back and something inaudible, before the world hazed and swirled together, last thing he heard before it all went black was his name, and then he felt the floor, then nothing.

When he came back too he felt the warm bed and could hear breathing, it was too light to be Remus, and the smell was all wrong. It was still Lily; he could feel her frantic breaths against his skin. He'd passed out on her; he felt the guilt before the smack over the back of the head. Groaning as he opened his eyes to what he felt like glowing room he looked at the frantic redhead.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?" she shrieked, her green eyes were wide with panic and frustration. "Will you not scream…due to your whack to the head I've got a bit of a headache." Sirius sat up slowly trying to remember how to breathe with pain in his chest.

"Your lucky I'm a damn healer," she spat. "Lucky I know what to do when someone decides to start bleeding everywhere. You're not moving until you're healed, you got it!"

"When the hell did you become my mother?" Sirius groaned rubbing his temples. "Remus will be up here any minute and you just now decide to wake up! He's going to KILL me!" With the mention of Remus Sirius sat bolt upright and looked at his clock with a wide eyed expression; he'd been out for hours! It was now five in the morning; it'd be what…seven hours? More or less and he'd passed out.

"What happened?" he asked, it was a question he already could answer but didn't know exactly what had happened.

"Other than passing out?" Lily asked. "Um, a few cuts decided they didn't want to heal and the second you moved apparently they opened up wide, I didn't notice till you were an almost immovable object to realize you had blood everywhere. Remus is definitely going to kill me." Lily rubbed her forehead, "he's going to walk right in here smell it and kill me here and now."

"He'll be sound asleep." Sirius rubbed her back; "he won't kill you." he smiled. "Did you fix whatever was wrong?"

"Of course I did!" Lily looked at him. "I think there's more to this spell then just slicing and dicing. But Heaven only knows just what it does, it might never heal."

"Look now…that's not even funny." Sirius grumbled crossing his arms over his chest, "I can't live forever laying up in bed. I need a counter curse Lils…this is a terrible life I live!"

"Oh yes, laying around all day and having your loving boyfriend taking care of you, and your best friend paying for your living. Sounds utterly horrible" Lily rolled her eyes "It'll wear off, like all spells do, and until then you'll just be stuck here."

Sirius groaned and rolled over, giving her the 'whatever leave me alone' act. Lily stood up and walked into the living room, she yawned as she sat down on the couch. She couldn't help but smile at all the work Remus had done to make this house their home.

The flat looked much better since she'd last been in. All the walls were painted a slate blue color, trim all done in white. All the wood work was now a dark mahogany. The new tan carpet was in and it all worked well together, the kitchen was now a dark wood floor. It now was a much more modern flat and fit well with the two boys' tastes.

Just as she finished admiring the work both boys had put into the flat the door slowly open and closed. "Come on Remus, its bedtime."

"Where's Sirius," he asked, his groggy voice giving away just how tired he was. Lily sighed, Remus was a lot worse for wear then he had been lately. It was most likely due to being without Sirius. "He's in bed Remus, remember he's injured."

"Right…" the two trailed off as James entered the bedroom tucked Remus in then came back out. "Long night I take it?"

"You have no idea," Lily chuckled. "And you? Looking pretty ragged Mr. Potter." she smiled. He sat down beside her and cuddled up against her. "Yea…Remus had it rough." he smiled and kissed her forehead, "You let him get up didn't you?"

"Yes…"

"And he started bleeding again didn't he?"

"Yep," Lily nodded, "how'd ya know?"

"He told me, after Remus curled right up to him and passed out. I guess it'll be a while before we talk to them about the Phoenix won't it?"

"Give them a week; Remus is in no shape to have to think about it." Lily kissed James' cheek. "I don't know about you but this couch is pretty damn comfy."

"It is, I'm going to fall asleep right here." James yawned "Sirius always did pick the comfiest shit one can buy." The two curled up, and it didn't take long before they were out cold. Talk of the Order of the Phoenix would have to wait, for now the four slept.


	13. The Phoenix

**Sorry this is up so late! I had to rewrite it, I didn't like the first attempt at it, so I rewrote it. Hopefully you like it :D**

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><p>"As Aurors it's our job to be apart of this." James leaned across the table at the Potter household. He and Lily had long since bought a little cottage on the outskirts of London; they both were close to work but far enough away from the capital. It was a quiet house in a gated muggle community. There were rumors that the Potter's were under watch by Death Eaters, so they already had started to hide away.<p>

There were too many names on their lists, too many purebloods whose lines were no longer purebloodist's. The Potter line was only one of many that had fallen from the purebloodist's grace. The Longbottom's, Sirius, The Brown's, The Prewett's, The Weasley's were only to list a few families and people who had turned against it, though most of the family's married into pureblood, they didn't follow the beliefs anymore.

"I wasn't disagreeing with you," Sirius chuckled leaning back in his chair. "I was only saying, as Aurors in training don't we do enough?"

"Does one ever do enough for the greater good?" James asked, though the two were grinning ear to ear with the thought of fighting with no rules it still was an unemployment risk. And it was one Sirius was not willing to take, especially with the idea of James supporting them till the end of time looming over his head. Sirius sighed and rubbed his temples. "Prongs were not in school anymore…"

"Is that fear I sense in your voice Padfoot," James teased. "And why on earth are you complaining, you're not married!" James laughed, causing Sirius to chuckle along with him. "Come on Pads, you've said so yourself you were itching for secret work, and you know were only in training the Order is our way to do what we really want!"

"Yea, yea" Sirius sighed. "But what about Moony?"

"What about him? Dumbledore want's all of us, any of us who are willing to fight."

"Remus is a werewolf." the statement hung in the air, James understood exactly what it meant as he sighed. "Remus is a big boy, he can handle himself."

"But Moony is a pushover."

"Why are we talking about me, and why was I not asked to join the conversation." Remus asked as he sat down at the table, Lily was at his heels and quickly sat to the seat to the left of James. All four of them sat at the small round breakfast table. "Padfoot here was just saying how -"

"I was talking to James about the Order, and where you were concerned." Sirius sighed. Remus looked at him then to James, "You mean the Phoenix?" James nodded and Remus smiled. "Well is it for recruiting?"

"Yes, Dumbledore wrote me this morning, apparently he's been abroad but wants us all to be in the Order, apparently it's quite boring and he needs a few pranksters in on the fun." James chuckled pushing the letter in front of Remus. "See?" Remus was already scanning lines of the letter; it was Dumbledore's writing there was no doubt about it.

"Positive this isn't a trap for you and Lily," James nodded. "I only ask because you know how the death eaters are getting…a family got attacked last week."

"Plus the attack in Piccadilly last week." Sirius sighed, "Their getting gutsy, out in the open in front of everyone! Could have killed twice as many people if our team hadn't been there."

"By the way since I know that case was handed to you, do we know who slipped us that tip?"

"Not yet, Young is getting on it. He can't figure out who's in deep enough to be in that group of Death Eaters." Sirius sighed and leaned back. "Where are we meeting Dumbledore for this?

"He's actually coming here," Lily smiled as she stood up, "He and McGonagall are coming."

"MINNIE!" Sirius grinned ear to ear. "How I have missed her so!"

"We figured you'd be excited." James laughed nudging Remus as he rolled his eyes. "You do realize most people keep teacher crushes to themselves, right?" Remus sighed.

"And what my dearest, would be the point of that. If you were a teacher I'd do horrible things to you on your desk." Sirius' eyes made Remus shiver from head to toe. There was no doubt in his mind Sirius spoke the truth. "And now that Remus has a boner the size of Mount. Everest, I'm going to help Lily with dinner."

Dinner went by smoothly; Peter had joined them just before dinner had started. The five of them sat with Dumbledore and McGonagall and after getting caught up with small talk the conversation took a serious turn and the group jumped into the subject that was the Order of the Phoenix.

"Now boys," McGonagall started, "I don't have to warn you about the life risks that come with joining."

"Minnie, dear," Sirius smiled. "It would be an honor to die for your safety." Sirius grinned causing the table to chuckle as McGonagall rolled her eyes. "Ohhh have you found another student to fancy while I was away!" he gave a playful sob "Oh Remus what shall I do!"

"You shall crawl into my arms and cry until you have no more tears." Remus laughed as Sirius started to crawl into his lap "Sirius! I was kidding!"

The table laughed before Dumbledore cleared his throat. "We know you all are willing to fight for the greater good, even lay down your lives if that time comes. But the fact is the order is very small in numbers as it is. If you all were to join we'd only be at ten." Eyes met and nods were made, the marauders alone were all looking at one another. It was just another adventure.

"We don't all of you jumping onto this expecting a new and crazy adventure." their faces fell; it was horrible how Dumbledore could read minds. "But I'm sure it will have its excitements."

"Don't dumb it down Albus, their adults now. Our jobs are to fight when the ministry won't or can't. Now James and Sirius, we know your jobs, and we wouldn't want to risk your future careers."

"If the ministry has problems with us fighting death eaters in our spare time. I think they might want to rethink their worries." James draped his arm over Lily's shoulders. "I mean all of us here and those who are in the order already are willing to give up their lives to protect people."

"Yes but in the mist of battle unforgivable's might just have to be used." It was an unspoken rule that only in the heat of battle if its life or death would one use the killing curse. The Ministry wanted anyone fighting for Voldemort left alive, to be questioned and sentenced fairly.

"Just like with Aurors" Remus started "I doubt anyone would step out of line. Besides maybe once we prove were fighting for the greater good, with Dumbledore at our head Fudge might just join arms with us."

"I've already been working with Fudge," Dumbledore smiled, "I think he's closer to cracking than he'd like to believe. Fudge typically takes what I say very well and thinks it through."

"Then what's to lose!" Sirius grinned. "Well…" McGonagall looked at Dumbledore, "There is one last thing. All of you have things to bring to the order, and we hate to have to use some of you…for what you know." All eyes fell on Remus, and with the pain that shot through Remus' hand he could tell Sirius had gripped it like a clamp. This was what Sirius had against the Order.

"We would never ask anything of you if we didn't think you could handle it." Dumbledore looked at Remus. "But Remus isn't the only one; all of you are incredibly skilled and have things to offer."

The conversation fell on death ears as Sirius felt himself fall a million miles away, Remus hadn't said no. He hadn't rejected the option of working for the order as a werewolf. That would send Remus into just one belly of the beast. The wolf pack that sat at Voldemort's side was untamed and dangerous.

They might make Remus kill to join the pack, or worse…the blood ran cold in Sirius' body as he looked over at Remus who was paying close attention to the conversation. No amount of words from Dumbledore could convince the Ministry any different that Remus was dangerous.

And with his father being in the Ministry all of his life, Sirius knew just what happened to dangerous wolves when they were captured. He'd even been at a court meeting, and had watched it. He'd watched the gun be loaded and walk over to the small wolf. It had killed a whole small village of people out in the country. And no mercy was in those eyes as the gun went off and the silver was lodged in the wolf's skull. But…to imagine Remus in the middle of the court.

"No," Sirius' voice croaked, stopping whatever was going on. "What?" Remus looked at him, the look in Sirius' eyes made his blood go cold. Was that fear? "Give us a moment." Remus pulled Sirius from the table and led him away to a hallway.

"What was that about?"

"I don't want you in the order…not as werewolf."

"What?" Remus looked Sirius over. "And why not? Care to tell me just why you are telling me no?"

"Because I know what they do to wolves Remus." The conversation made Remus feel very uneasy, it was very sweet of Sirius to worry but he wasn't sure why. "Look Sirius…I'll be careful I'm not stupid."

"And what happens if they make you kill someone!"

"What are you on about? Have you gone mad?"

"The wolves…to join the pack." Remus make an 'Oh' face and rubbed his chin, he hadn't honestly thought of that. "Well…"

"Yea see!"

"Sirius…wolves won't do that. It'd be stupid, and if they do then I guess I'll fail Dumbledore. I'm not that too much into being in a wolf pack." Remus kissed Sirius' temple and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair. "Trust me, nothing will happen to me. Ok?" Sirius searched his eyes before nuzzling the wolf, wrapping his arms around his back. "I can't promise I won't have to leave when I transform, but nothing will happen to me. Wolves aren't stupid."

The deal was sealed with each Marauder's signature; the only one who was nervous was Peter. After a little bit of coaxing from James and Sirius his name was sighed. Dumbledore and McGonagall bid them all a farewell, and once the door shut behind them Sirius grinned "Well lads and Lily, welcome to the Order!"


	14. Infinity

**The chapter title was going to the infinity sign; as a symbol for this chapter and for Sirius/Remus :D BUT wouldn't let me do it, so instead its just Infinity XD**

**(How you make one is hold ALT + 236 = ∞ (only works with keys on the num pad))**

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><p>"Sirius!" Remus cried out as his head hung low, he couldn't see straight and his breathing was merely hungry gasps of air. Sirius had woken him up with his mouth and now he was on his knees hands knotted in the covers and soaked in sweat. His head was spinning like a top; he looked up and starred at the dark oak headboard as he felt Sirius grip his hips harder.<p>

Remus gasped as he felt Sirius' teeth digging into his shoulder, his body arching into his, driving both boys over the edge. Remus felt his body go limp first, his arms shook as he tried to hold himself up. He was ok until Sirius' own body weight was added and just like a game of jenga the two fell into the comfort of the bed panting with matching smiles.

"Morning love," Sirius smiled kissing the nape of Remus' neck before rolling off of him and lying on his back. His hair was stuck to his face and he was slicked over with sweat, Remus rolled over and curled up beside him. "If that's how you say good morning, I'll sleep in every morning." The two boys laughed before Sirius rolled out of bed and headed to the shower.

Remus sighed and rolled over looking at the calendar on the bedroom wall and grinned. Today was Sirius' birthday, and the marauders had informed Sirius that his birthday presents would be meshed with his Christmas presents, for the first time in seven years. Typically Sirius' birthday had never really been put together despite his birthday and Christmas only being three days apart.

Remus got up and rushed into the shower, eager for another round. "Hey Birthday boy," he purred. Sirius starred at him eyes wide. "You left without your present." As the shower curtain fell against the side of the tub Sirius groaned loudly, today was going to be a good day.

After lunch Remus was out walking the London streets, bundled up in one of Sirius' jackets and his Gryffindor scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. He was on a mission to hunt down the perfect present. Pocket full of muggle money he had borrowed from James he felt almost on top of the world. Everyone he had already shopped for and here he was buying something special.

Standing outside of Boodles, was a red head and Remus' grin widened. He tapped her on the shoulder causing the small redhead to leap out of her skin. "Dammit Remus!" she snapped turning around, "scare the life out of me next time, why don't you!"

"James wouldn't be too happy with me, now would he?" Lily laughed and shook her head "Probably not." she smiled, the two walked in side by side. The jeweler's was an odd place to be. Especially for a man like Remus, the store wasn't very busy for a weekday three days before Christmas.

"May I help you?" a small round man asked walking up to him, "Are you two a pair?" He motioned between Lily and Remus, "because, if so…"

"We're not a couple," Lily laughed and smiled. "Though we both are looking for the same thing, were friends. My husband was an idiot and went to work with his wedding band, works as a plumber you see, and well…he lost it. So I'm here to replace his. As well as my friend," she motioned to Remus "he's about to tie the knot and his fiancé, asked me to accompany him to pick out his ring since she's abroad due to her job."

The plan and been set and by the look on the man's face it was very apparent he had fallen for it. Nothing odd, and as Lily and Remus walked through the small shop everything was at ease.

"Shall you both shop together or shall I have another person help you?" he looked Remus over and the wolf felt two inches tall in the man's gaze. "No, we'll shop together; I haven't seen my fiancé's ring yet. Afraid it'll jinx it she is, and I'd like them to match." The man nodded and continued to walk on, "we'll do the lady first." He smiled, "Your name?"

"Lily Potter," Remus was nearly blinded by the smile that covered Lily's face; it was very obvious the girl loved her new name. "Newly wed I take it," the man chuckled he seemed nearly as blinded, when she nodded he chuckled. "Luckily you're not a superstitious person; otherwise you might be fearful of a newly wedded man losing his ring."

"I highly doubt he'd be foolish," Lily whispered to Remus, causing him to chuckle as the man slipped away. Remus had been window shopping for a few months for exactly what he wanted. And he had spotted Sirius searching through bridal magazines when Lily and James were looking for their own rings so he had a pretty good idea what to pick out.

"So, your husband's band?" He looked at her, "do you want something just like yours, or did you want something different?"

"I was thinking something similar to this one," she pointed to one in the case; it was a flat platinum ring, very simple. Remus had it already picked out, just needed someone to go with him, so he didn't end up looking quite, odd with two male wedding bands.

"Ahhh, yes," he bent down and pulled the ring out, "One of our best sellers, well for those who can afford it that is." He chuckled, "Platinum is very expensive," he looked the two over as he hand the ring over. Lily rolled it over in her hand and smiled, she had magically charmed her rings to look something like the band Remus had picked out so nothing seemed out of sorts. "What do you think Rem?" Lily looked over at him and Remus nodded. "I think he'll love it." Remus' body was on fire with tiny little sparks erupting over his body.

"I take it we have a hit then?" Lily smiled and nodded handing the ring over, the man smiled and pulled out a black velvet box. Remus' eyes never left the black box. Remus had never needed a ring for people to know who he belonged too. He had a mark, and in a werewolf's eyes that's all one needed. But Sirius, for some odd reason, the man how at one point had never believed in being tied down, had wanted a ring.

This was birthday and Christmas all wrapped into one, because as the man had said they were expensive. And Remus didn't dare look at the price tag on the ring Lily had bought, he'd told her what she was looking for and she had it picked out.

"And you sir?" Remus jerked away from his inner thoughts as he looked at him, Remus looked back to Lily, it was her turn again.

"Well she's also doing a platinum ring, so I guess we'll stick with the same look as mine." Lily felt a little hot under the collar, her eyes never leaving the glass case. "I take it you all are very good friends?"

"Very," Remus chuckled leaning over her, "will that one match hers?" Remus pointed in the glass case it looked much like the one Lily had picked out. It was a little bit wider than the one Lily had picked out. Lily chuckled, "Give me a minute let me go check." Lily would have made a killing as an actress as she walked over to the ladies jewelry counter then walked back a smile on her face. "Yep, it'll match perfectly."

Remus already had the ring in his hand, with a silently muttered charm he slid the ring on his finger and it adjusted just to the right size. "And the right size too!" the man behind the counter grinned, "why can't all of my customers be just like you two. It's been so quick." he grinned. "I'm going to guess you both have done enough window shopping before today?" The two nodded. "Well that always makes the process much easier. We'll ring you two up then."

When they walked out of the store snow had started to fall on to the London streets. "Here," Lily handed over the ring box she had been carrying, changing the platinum look back to gold on her own rings. "I think today went well," she smiled.

"Thank you Lily, for everything." Remus smiled, "Sirius will love it."

"He better!" Lily laughed. "So, is that all you needed?"

"No I have one more place to go, putting the finishing touches on these" he held up the boxes. "But I've got it from here."

"Alright, if you need me, you know how to get a hold of me," she winked. And with one last hug the two went their separate ways.

The door bell dinged over Remus' head as he walked into the shop, it was a small place. "Benny!" Remus called out as he dusted his shoes off on the welcome mat. He walked over to the counter and hit the counter, avoiding the sliver bell that sat next to the register, sometimes being a werewolf had many setbacks.

"Remus! Hello!" The man with cobalt blue hair walked out of an archway from behind the counter. "I take it you got what you were looking for?" he leaned against the counter, Benny was a man Remus knew from when he was a small kid. "Still going to do what we talked about over lunch last week?"

"Yeah, I think Sirius'll like it. Just a special secret."

"How'd getting the rings go?" Benny took the two black cases from Remus and looked at the two rings "Geeze! Look it them! Bet they were a pretty sickle."

"The Potter's helped me," he smiled. "Ahhh James and Lily, yea" Benny chuckled, "helpful lot they are, I'll have them done by tomorrow, that alright? Your on top of the list" the man winked.

"Sounds good, and yes very helpful. Though it does help to know a good engraver once in a while." Remus chuckled. "How much will I owe ya?" Remus reached for his wallet as Benny waved him. "I don't make friend's pay, not for something simple like what you want. Have it on me Remus."

"You sure, I mean…it's not fair to not pay you for it."

"Remus, two tiny engravings will take me no time, it's not that hard stuff. Now you rush on home to that man of yours and you maul him on his birthday." Remus felt himself blush as he slid his wallet back in his back pocket, "if you insist." Benny was already heading back, "Which part?" Remus' blush darkened. "Oh hush, take good care of them!"

"I will Lupin, now run along."

Remus smiled and slid a few gallons on the counter once Benny's back was turned; there was no way he wouldn't pay a man for a decent job. And he knew Benny would do just that, and with a pop he was back in his flat.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Remus leaped within an inch of his life as he turned around and blinked a few times at a very naked Sirius. "I come home expecting my lover to attack me when I walk though the door, and here I come home to nothing. Not even dinner! And what a terrible day I was having!"

"Oh Sirius," Remus smiled walking over to him before patting his cheek. "Stop being a drama queen." He ducked into the bedroom getting out of arm's reach from Sirius. "DRAMA QUEEN! IT'S MY BRITHDAY!"

"So?" Remus laughed tossing a pillow at Sirius, and grinned as it hit in the chest. "Nothing special!"

"Nothing SPEICAL!" Sirius lunged "I'll show you!" he grabbed Remus once he landed on the bed; it was safe to say the two were not leaving the bedroom for quite a few hours.


	15. Christmas Eve

**Shit I totally didn't realize I hadn't uploaded this! I'm sorry its so late guys! Enjoy**

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><p>It had been a hard day at work, it was the twenty fourth of December, and tomorrow was Christmas day. Normally Aurors never had to work on Christmas Eve or day, but in the world right now no one got a day off. But at least he had tomorrow off, walking up the stairs he smiled at the thought; he'd have all day along with Remus. Until later when they went over to James and Lily's and have Christmas dinner. He could already smell dinner as his feet landed on the landing for his floor. He couldn't help but shiver as he walked forward.<p>

Is this how a newly wedded couple felt on their first Christmas together? He sighed; it wasn't like the two hadn't had Christmas together. It wasn't that no…it was the fact that this Christmas was their first Christmas as a couple, as one. His hand reached up to his shoulder and rubbed the mark on his shoulder gently. The constant reminder that he had vowed forever and so far forever sounded fantastic.

"I'm home." Sirius slipped inside and shut the door behind him, slipping his shoes off he looked up to see a dusty Remus. "Err…what the bloody hell were you doing?"

"Cookies, the mixer decided it would have none of it though, and well…you see what happened." Remus' grin was a mile wide, and despite being covered in flour and sugar he didn't seem like he could be any happier. "Want my help?"

"Would I ever tell you no?"

"You did this morning." Sirius smirked, he laughed at the glare Remus shot at him as the boy turned "Forget cookies then!"

"HEY! I never said I didn't want to help with cookies!"

"No you ruined it by being a smartass. And I said no because you were already running late!"

"Good ole Remus, looking out for my schedule," Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and nibbled on his neck, "where would I be without you?"

"Dead or wouldn't know where to go," Remus waved him away. "Either you help me with dinner and this, or you get out of the kitchen." Sirius rolled his eyes and rolled up his sleeves, he pretended not to notice Remus shiver as he did so. "What do you want me to do?"

"Stir that soup before it bubbles over." Remus smiled placing a kiss on Sirius' cheek. "You know I can cook right?" Sirius asked as he stirred, "I can do more that stir."

"I know you can. But tonight I'm cooking," Remus smiled "plus it's nearly done."

"I can have a body bowl right?"

"…Sirius that soup is hot you are NOT putting that anywhere on my body!" Remus looked at him laughing, "I can't even believe you just asked that."

"Worth a shot" Sirius chuckled, "anything on the telly tonight?"

"Probably a bunch of Christmas movies," Remus didn't look up from the mixing he was doing. "We can always just curl up on the couch have dinner and see?"

"Sounds utterly fantastic!"

And that's exactly what they did, after the cookies ended up in the oven they sat down in front of the TV and watched whatever was on. After midnight, with Big Ben chiming in the background, the lights on the Christmas tree flickered to life. The two boys looked at each other from their curled up positions and smiled at one another.

"Happy Christmas Sirius," Remus smiled kissing Sirius' lips softly. "Happy Christmas Remus," Sirius smiled returning the kiss. "We should get to bed so we can get up bright and early tomorrow morning."

"When are you one to want to get to bed early?" Remus raised an eyebrow, raising himself up on his arm. "Hiding something?"

"Maybe?" Sirius laughed. "Go on, get ready for bed. I'll be there in a minute." Remus grumbled as he got up, "Can't wait for Christmas to be over, so you can stop being go secretive." Sirius chuckled smacking him on the rear end, "now come on Remy, it's worth it," he grinned. Remus grumbled as he padded to the bedroom. Sirius turned off the TV and walked over to the second door and gave it a once over, making sure it was perfect. Tomorrow it would be reviled.

He walked inside and looked over the room; it had been the last of his uncle's money. His last attachment to the Black Family was spent on his boyfriend, oh if his mother could hear him say that she might fall over from a heart attack.

"Sirius?" Remus called, "Come to bed, don't make me come get you!"

Sirius huffed and rolled his eyes, of course he'd just call for him. "Coming love," with one last quick glance over the room he walked out of the room and quietly shut it behind him, locking it with a flick of his wand. He looked over at the small Christmas tree and smiled, its lights glittering in the corner. Tenebris was perched in the corner of the room sound asleep, dreaming of whatever owls do on Christmas.

All was simple and right in the world, the ministry radio had remained silent all night, and Sirius figured even Death Eater's celebrated Christmas. His thoughts ran off to his brother as he walked towards his bedroom door. Was he home sleeping in his own bed, or had he tired to hide away at Hogwarts?

"Sirius, you ok?" Remus' voice caught his attention and he looked up at him, shaking his head. "Yea, just thinking."

"About?"

"Reg, though it's nothing."

"Yea, try telling me that when I haven't known you for seven years," Remus chuckled and walked over wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck. "Come on Sirius, your brother is safe, Voldemort can't do a thing with him until he's graduated Hogwarts, so…at least for the next few months, and he's as safe as can be."

Sirius let out a deep sigh and nodded, "still…he's my baby brother, and it's my job to worry."

"And I understand that just…not tonight, not on Christmas." The subject was dropped as Remus led Sirius to the bedroom, "come on, you don't hurry up Santa won't come." Sirius gave a quiet chuckle, "what'd you ask Santa for Moony?"

"You," Remus smiled. "Nothing else I really want." Sirius smiled and pulled Remus close to him as the snuggled in bed, "you're corny as hell…but it's still sweet."

"I do try," Remus nuzzled Sirius' neck and breathed in his scent calming whatever nerves were restless, "Night Sirius"

"Goodnight Remus," Sirius whispered before kissing the top of Remus' head. He could already feel the younger boy fall asleep. Sirius lay there wide away, why had he let Regulus cross his mind? It was a thought he'd tried and push away for a while, especially now that he was fighting against Death Eaters.

He wasn't sure if his mind finally went to sleep or if his body was just that tired but eventually Sirius fell sound asleep, clinging to Remus for dear life. At least if there was one thing in his life he could keep safe it was Remus.


	16. Glitter Please

**Happy Easter everyone! And here is just one of the Christmas presents...I'm cruel and splitting them into two diffrent chapters...*laughs evilly***

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><p>Sirius never slept in on Christmas day, but after the fifth death threat, Sirius decided that there was always time for change. He laid there and watched Remus sleep; it was ten in the morning. He wasn't allowed to leave the bed either. If he tempted to get up from underneath Remus, the boy would wake up and give him a 'where are you going,' look. He'd tried twice to get up, but after the last time with a grip attached to the look Sirius gave a huff of defeat and lay down.<p>

Remus' alarm clock beeped at noon, Sirius had been itching to get up for four hours. With the beeping signaling for Remus to get up the dog quickly pounced on Remus. "GET UP REMY ITS PRESENT TIME!"

Sirius didn't quite understand what Remus said as his face was smushed into the pillow. "Come again?" Sirius looked at him oddly moving his hands off of the man's shoulders.

"Get off of me!" Remus growled, "That's what I said!"

"Are you gonna get up?"

"IF you get off maybe."

"Say yes…and I'll get up!"

"Yes now move!"

Sirius gave a happy little squeal as he rolled off of Remus and onto his feet, shaking with excitement. "COME ON REMY!" He yelled as he raced into the living room, Remus poked his head from out under the covers and smiled as he watched Sirius' childlike actions. "Can I put on pants?"

"You didn't need them last night! Come on!"

Remus none the less slipped on his pj bottoms and shuffled out into the living room. Apparently Santa had come since there were presents under the tree, or their invisibility charms had worn off…either way. "When did you put your boxers on," Remus asked as he crossed the floor to the kitchen, "and how long have you been awake?"

"Four hours, you'd be surprised how much magic one can do from bed," he smiled. "Hopefully the tea is good; I have to make it from bed since your pissy ass wouldn't let me get up."

"Its fine," Remus fixed the two of them a cup and walked into the living room, "It seems so small without James and Pete here."

"It does, but we'll see them later. Today it's just me and you," Sirius beamed. James and Lily had wanted to spend their first Christmas morning together, so Sirius and Remus had followed the idea. "Who's first?"

"Let me go first, I want you to open your's last." Remus grinned as Sirius pouted for a few moments before handing a box to Remus, "it's more than meets the eye. You told me not to go crazy with money this year…so I didn't"

Sirius wouldn't admit to his fingers being crossed as he chuckled watching Remus slowly open the box. He'd spent much more than he should have, but Remus would have to wait till much later to see his real Christmas present.

Remus knew what would be in the box he could already smell it, books and chocolate. Nothing a wolf needed more. Once the wrapping paper was pulled away he opened the top of the box and smiled two large bars of chocolate, along with a few books. "Doubt I could beat last year's present," Sirius smiled pulling Remus close to him. "I did try though." Remus smiled at the thought of the mirror, it really was a hard present to beat.

"It's thoughtful of you Sirius, you know I'm easy to please," Remus winked at him causing Sirius to groan. Sirius gave him a gentle kiss on the lips before taking a drink of his tea. "Sooo…where's mine," he grinned.

"Sure you don't want brunch first?"

"Remus Lupin…you've made me wait for four hours…I can wait to eat." Sirius' look was serious enough to send Remus into fits of laughter. "It's not funny wolf boy! Where is my present!"

"Oh you spoiled little brat, since your like that, you need to find it."

"WHAT!"

"You heard me!"

"Acc-"

"Oh you spoiled sport!" Remus grumbled as he got up from Sirius' laugh, ignoring Sirius' chuckle, Remus leaned down and picked up two small boxes. "Which one do you want first?"

Sirius looked between the two small boxes unsure which of them was the safest. "Can I have a hint?"

"Nope, pick one. They go together…so pick."

"You're an ass, separating my presents like that!"

"Just…pick!"

Sirius looked between the two, they were completely identical. And if he had them in his hands he'd be able to pick which one was heavier. Though by looks they both looked about the same, "Give me the one in your right hand."

"You sure," Remus teased as he slowly held out his right hand. "Err…left." Remus shrugged as he pulled out his right hand back and handed Sirius his left. Sirius took it and held the gift in his hand for a few minutes. No matter how hard he tried to decipher what was in the small box he couldn't figure it out.

Though it only took one tear in the paper to realize just what it was. A black velvet box, Sirius' heart hammered in his chest. "If this is a joke," his voice cracked as he looked up at Remus. Afraid to take one more rip.

"You'll have to see," Remus smiled, his all knowing mind couldn't help but smile. The paper was ripped off and the box opened. Remus felt terrible as he watched his lover's face fall, the glitter and happiness that had been there was now sorrow. "You…Remus Lupin…"

"I told you to pick, you picked the joke."

Sirius put the box down beside him and didn't say anything as he held out his hand. He wouldn't admit his disappointment, the pain in his heart. He never imagined Remus would pull such a prank on him. And when he started to pull the paper on the second gift his heart sunk even more in his chest. "Remus you're an asshole, where is my present? I don't feel like being the ass of your jokes."

"Unwrap it," Remus sighed, this really was cruel. It'd be just another empty box. Remus winced as the box snapped open then shut "Fuck you Remus," Sirius went to get up only to be pushed down. "Let me up, I want to eat now."

"You sure, I really do have a present for you," Remus felt his heartbeat race forward like it was running a marathon. This was it; hopefully Sirius would actually like the idea.

"Yea, what?" Sirius raised an eyebrow; he didn't look amused at all. "Another empty box?"

"Don't be a smart ass or you can't have it!"

"You'd be a smartass too if I did it to you!" Remus shook his head as Sirius gripped, "come on now Sirius, close your eyes. I didn't wrap it." Sirius rolled his eyes before closing them. Remus shivered as he held Sirius' hand.

His fingers ran over Sirius' knuckles, stopping at the ring finger. His heart hammered in his chest as Sirius shivered, Remus had a feeling it might have it figured out. Remus turned his left hand over and dropped the warm ring in his hand.

"Open up," Sirius opened his eyes and looked at his hand eyes going wide. "You sneak! What…wait these are crazy expensive…how did you?"

"I talked to James and Lily, that's how." Remus smiled.

"Why is there a star on the inside?"

"Because you," Remus held out his left hand, it trembled a little as he looked up at Sirius. "Are going to put it on me." Sirius' sliver eyes looked straight into Remus' gold ones. He held the gaze for a few moments. "It's not a wedding or anything official; I just figured this was an easier way than you showing off your mark." Remus chuckled as Sirius' own hand shook as he slide the ring on Remus' hand.

"Now," Remus held out his other hand. "Hold out your hand, my turn." Sirius grinned a wide grin as he snatched the other ring from Remus' hand, he flipped it over in his hand until his eyes met the moon, and his eyes glassed over.

"When did you do this?" Sirius' shaky voice asked, looking up at Remus. "I did the shopping on your birthday, and then picked them up the next day while you were at work." Sirius gave him a weak smile before handing the ring back to him, then held out his own left hand as Remus slid the platinum band on his finger.

"Ya know how last year, I said nothing could top your Christmas present?" Remus nodded and smiled at Sirius. "I fucking lied"

Remus grunted as he was shoved down onto the floor and his mouth was devoured, it took him a few moments to realize what was happening before his body was lit ablaze. His body melted into Sirius' hands as the master started to mold his body.

It took only a few moments before the two boys pulled away panting and pressing feather light kisses against each other's skin.

"As much as I don't want this to stop," Sirius chuckled, "can we eat…then go to the bedroom?" They both looked at each other before they both burst into laughter. "No seriously…can we eat?" Remus laughed louder as he stood up and helped Sirius to his feet.

Needless to say the sex would have to wait.


	17. Your Space

**And the ending of Christmas you guys finally found out just WHAT is in that room :D. Also sorry if it seems to lag, I was getting pretty tired writing this XD But I liked how it turned out so I left it alone.**

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><p>The afterglow still lingered on the two boys as they slowly got dressed. "Next time," Sirius chuckled, "let's be a little bit gentler? I don't have near as much ass as you do." Remus shook his head laughing as he buttoned the last few buttons on his shirt. "As you wish my darling," he grinned buttoning the buttons on the cuff of his shirt.<p>

"I don't know why you dress up," Sirius chuckled pulling his jacket over his shoulders, "it's not like where back at school. Its only Lils and James."

"It's not a crime to want to look nice, especially when I know you like it," Remus grinned. "Bike or apparition?"

"Apparition, much warmer." Sirius took Remus' hand and smile and with a pop the two were on their way to the Potter's.

"Bloody hell!" Lily yelped as she crashed into the freshly apparated pair. "Can't you warn someone before you pop in, quite literally?"

"Hello to you too Mrs. Potter!" Sirius grumbled from underneath her. "And as much as I wouldn't mind being underneath you Lils, James would slaughter me." He heard Lily tut at his attempt at flirting as she rolled off of him. "I doubt you're better than James." Remus had to cough to hold back his laughter. "Do what you must to help you sleep at night."

"If you two are done flirting with my wife, were in the living room for presents before dinner."

"No you don't James Potter," Lily scolded. "Dinner then presents.

"Totally not fair!" James whined, "I finally have my own house to do it my way and I STILL have to eat first!"

"Get over it."

Sirius and Remus snickered as the two followed Lily into the small dining room, dinner was already spread over the table, and it was large enough for the four of them to be seated comfortably. "Where's Pete?"

"He's on his way, said he'd been here after dinner. He's with his parents for dinner."

"Ahhh, yes Pete always did have a soft spot for his mother's sweets." Sirius chuckled.

"Who doesn't" James chuckled taking his seat at the head of the table, Lily was at his left and Sirius to his right and Remus was across from him. Dinner was a quiet event nothing more than small talk, though that's all one really needed when good food was on the table. After their stomachs were fully stuffed, leftovers put away and dishes done the four walked into the living room and sat down. Peter was due any time and as Marauder tradition they waited.

With a knock at the door Lily rose and walked to the door, Sirius bounced on his toes knowing presents were slowly creeping nearer.

"Sorry I'm late," Peter smiled holding his gifts in his hand. "Mother didn't quite want me to go out yet. She's so protective now, you know with the war."

"That's why we all moved away from our parents," Remus chuckled from his seat beside Sirius. There was no lie Peter still was nervous around Sirius and Remus. But for the sake of the group he put up with it. Sirius offered him a big smile and it was returned, only half heartfelt. Remus felt the urge to squirm in place; he and Peter were never close. He had never been worth the bootlicking or so Sirius had always told him in school.

Peter sat in the armchair closest to the fire and dropped his gifts at his feet. "So what have I missed?"

"In general or since dinner?" Sirius snickered kicking his legs up on top of Remus' avoiding a crack to the knee from Lily. It was her rule to keep feet off of her coffee table and despite her normally gentle touch the girl had a strong back hand, especially when it was her knuckles aimed at your knees.

"In general," Pete smiled looking everyone over. "I guess since the wedding probably, how is Auror training?"

"Pretty good," James reached behind his armchair and grabbed the first package he could grab, reading the name he tossed it over to Peter. "From Lily and me, Sirius and I have entered level two since what, Thursday?"

"I believe that's when the captain told us to get our asses into the next office" Sirius snickered, "Good way to get a promotion, put firecrackers in the headman's office."

"JAMES!"

"I thought we were gonna keep that secret," James laughed as he avoided a smack from Lily. "We had to leave him with a bang!"

"Cost yourself your job why don't you!"

"You act as if I don't have enough money to last us six lifetimes," James chuckled pulling Lily off the arm of his chair into his lap. "Aww thanks guys," Peter grinned holding up a royal purple jacket. "Lily picked it out,"

"Ohhh candy!"

Everyone chuckled as Peter ripped into the candy wrapper, and leaping out of his skin as it started to crack and fizzle. "Oh there that Wiz Fizz went," Lily giggled. "Ahhh such a good girl!" James grinned.

"Oh geeze and now their gonna eat each other's faces!" Sirius gagged.

Gifts continued to be passed around, just small trinkets they all had agreed to go small on each other, with James and Lily still recovering from wedding presents they almost didn't need much. Sirius received a few new records from both James and Lily and Peter which pleased both Sirius and Remus. James received a new snitch from Sirius and Remus, since his old one was well, old. And from Peter some of his mother's homemade cookies which he tore into the second he knew what it was. Lily had received a pair of emerald colored earrings. Remus was last to go, and his two presents were books, as he flipped through the books upon closer examination he raised an eyebrow. "You all do understand I don't own a piano?" Three sets of eyes flew to Sirius. "Err…sorry that's my bad, I told them we were looking at one." He chuckled nervously before glaring at both James and Peter.

"Oh well, at least if we ever get one I have a few books to work out of right?" Remus smiled. "Right!"

After a few more hours of talking the evening came to a close and everyone said their goodbyes and returned home.

After setting the presents down Sirius stretched and smiled, "well that was fun!"

"It was, it's always nice to see Lily and James, Peter too. He always seems so busy lately," Remus sighed. "What are you doing Sirius?" Remus watched as Sirius crossed the room and without speaking opened the door that Remus knew to not work. And instantly curiosity attacked him and he was quickly on Sirius' heels. "Did you hea-"

"Merry Christmas Remus," Sirius smiled sitting down in one of the leather bound chairs. The small wall beside Sirius was covered in dark stained wood shelves, books filling them. "You wondered where your books kept disappearing to, well here they are." He smiled. The room was painted a navy blue, Remus' favorite color. There was a dark oak desk against a plain wall. And to the wall behind Sirius' back were large windows. And as Remus turned his eyes bulged, everything had been so special and there in the corner sat the piano. The same exact piano Remus had seen just a few weeks ago.

"When? How? Why?"

"When, since we moved in and after I broke the door down while you were out. I noticed it was just an empty room it needed a lot of work. It seemed like no one had been in here since World War II, I guess it was a food storage room or something you have no idea how many cans of beans I threw out. How, well I spent the last bit of my uncle's money he left me to do everything you see here. There might be a few gallons left of it but, other than that its all gone." Remus felt tears fill his eyes; Sirius had done so much for him already. First the apartment in itself had all been bought for him. It had been for his needs and now, a room designed just for him. "And why," Remus looked up when he felt warm arms surround him. "Simply because I love you. And you're always locked away in the house, so I figured a space all your own would be just what you needed." Remus felt soft kisses run across his face, "I love you Remus."

"I love you too Sirius," Remus whispered nuzzling Sirius' neck. "This is too much…why do you do all of this for me?" Sirius ran his fingers through Remus' blonde hair. "I love you isn't enough…this is too much."

"It's never enough when you're concerned." Sirius smiled as he felt Remus' arms wrap around him. "Can't you just let me spoil you?"

"No," Remus chuckled and pressed another feather light kiss against Sirius' neck. "But thank you, it's very sweet of you." Remus looked up at him. "It's what lovers do." Sirius chuckled, "come on lets get you into bed sleepy head, you can take all of this in tomorrow." Remus nodded, he was sure this all was a dream.

When he woke up that morning he woke up much earlier than Sirius and slowly crawled out of bed. Sirius had the day after Christmas of so he figured he'd let him sleep. But as Remus crossed the living room heading to the kitchen to make him a bit of breakfast he noticed the second door was open, and his eyes went wide.

Racing into the room, which as he ran inside realized he hadn't been dreaming the night before. That Sirius really had put in that much work for a room just for him. His heart raced a mile a minute as he looked around, two leather bound armchairs faced the desk, and a black carpet was sitting underneath them, and underneath that was a dark oak wood floor. The dark oak continued up onto the bookshelves, which he could tell were made by hand as well as the desk.

So much love was put into this room, and an overwhelming sense of being loved rushed over him causing him to fall into one of the armchairs and cry. It's not that Remus wasn't used to the feeling of being loved, but he couldn't remember the last time someone had done so much for him.

He didn't hear Sirius come in the room or walk right beside him, and he jumped as Sirius pulled his hands away from his face, he starred into the sliver eyes that looked him over full of concern.

"What's wrong?"

Remus couldn't speak his throat was too tight he simply slipped from the chair and into Sirius' arms and kissed him with all of his might, there were no words that could ever explain how thankful and how much he loved the room, nor would there ever be good enough words in the world would ever explain how much he loved Sirius. He just hoped the kiss got the message across.


	18. Oncoming Storm

**And this is the end of 1978 and the start of 1979. This year will be hard for me personally to write...I have to kill off two of my favorite characters *sniffles***

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><p>The plan was to meet up for lunch at Sirius' favorite sandwich shop, then head out to the liquor store to get something for the New Year's party at the flat. Then head home to straighten up and prepare for company.<p>

It was just Remus, Sirius, James and Lily tonight. Peter was spending the evening with his girlfriend. Though they had all agreed to spend new years together. No one was going to remind Peter of this agreement, if the boy wanted to spend time with what was most likely the second girl friend of his entire life no one was going to ruin it for him.

"Took you long enough," Sirius grumbled from his leaned back position at one of the tables outside of the shop. "I was starting to worry the big bad wolf got you."

"That's long since happened love," Remus chuckled leaning down and pressing a kiss on top of Sirius' head. Ignoring the gasps of a group of girls that passed by. Hiding their relationship had started to press on Remus' last nerves and with additions of rings he really could care less. "Ohhh someone is gutsy today," Sirius grinned ear to ear, "I like it."

"We're about to ring in the New Year, it's time for change."

Sirius gave a happy sort of squeak, not only to the look in Remus' eye but just as Remus sat down their food was being brought to them. "I ordered for us, I knew what you normally order."

"Good thing I didn't want a change," Remus chuckled tucking himself in under the cast iron table. "Is there a reason we're sitting outside…in the dead of winter?"

"It's nice out despite the cold. Plus it's packed like a case of sardines in there…I figured this was the better option."

"Could have easily taken it home," Remus shivered. "Yea I like that idea, let's do that."

"Or," Sirius moved his chair closer to Remus, "I could easily just sit closer to you."

"Except everyone can see."

"So says the man who just kissed me on the top of the head in front of what six girls?"

"It's called a lovers greeting, but I am not cuddling with you in public…yet" Sirius couldn't help but chuckled as the wrapped up their food. The food had already been paid for and once everything was cleared up the two headed back to the flat.

It was four o'clock before the flat was cleaned, and Sirius and Remus were in the kitchen back to back working on dinner and such for the evening. "Hey is the radio on?"

"Isn't it always," Remus answered with a dark tone, the ministry had passed a rule with anyone training to be a Auror to have the radio on the ministry's channel on when they were home, incase at anytime day or night something happened and they were needed. "You know I hate it on as much as you do," Sirius nuzzled Remus from behind. "But it's for the greater good, the faster we react to a threat the faster it's destroyed maybe we'll get Voldemort one of these days," Remus sighed and nodded. "Yea, it's just I can't take the nightly tolls…and all the dark news they give us."

"Anyone in their right mind shouldn't like it." Sirius sighed, "But most of the time its quiet."

"Yea, but it's on and I'm always waiting for it to call you away," Remus brushed past him as he walked over to pull a pot from the cabinet. Sirius sighed and shook his head, Remus was in one of his dark and gloomy moods, and there was no way to get him out of it. "Cheer up," Sirius chuckled "You get a new year's snog."

"I better," Remus smiled.

Six o'clock rang in and James and Lily were already there, sitting on the couch enjoying a game of Life. Sirius and Remus had pulled out a few games that the four boys had owned in school. Even though they were nearly twenty years old, the group still enjoyed quite a few of them.

"Hey, if you get married can I pick a guy?" Remus snorted as Sirius gave a oh so innocent look to James, "I mean is that even a rule?"

"Well…apparently it needs to be now," Lily laughed "But of course Sirius you can pick a guy."

"And I can still have kids right?"

"We can adopt," Remus laughed.

Remus was just about to spin for his spaces to move the room went dead silent as the radio fizzed to life.

"Calling all Aurors within two hundred miles of Burrow's Cross, Surrey. Rank three and four death eaters have been spotted. Report to…"

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Remus glared at the radio wand in his hand, "Easy Remus." Sirius chuckled grabbing his hand. "They just wanna party! Can't blame them it is new years after all." He stood up, "Come on Prongs; let's get a move on quicker we get there the quicker we can come back."

"You better come back," Lily murmured to James nuzzling his neck. "Like Sirius said, quicker we get there quicker we get back." James grinned.

"Prongs," Remus chuckled holding out James' wand. "You might not even get there without this."

"AH! Yes, I always forget it in times of need." James chuckled, "I just really need to attach it to myself somehow."

"You two can't kiss till we come back! I owe Remus this year's first kiss!"

"Then you better get your ass back here in time," Remus grumbled a despite the small smile on his face as Sirius gave him a quick kiss goodbye. And with a pop the two were gone, leaving boy Remus and Lily to sit on the couch and wait.

Hours ticked by, New Year's got closer and closer by the minute. The radio remained silent, a taunting Remus was sure was only meant for him. Lily had turned herself into the TV ignoring anything else, but Remus noticed her constantly giving the radio side glances almost daring it to tell her James was hurt or worse.

"Lily," Remus called to her causing the small redhead to leap out of her seat, she turned and looked at Remus. "They'll be alright," he took her hand and squeezed it tightly, he had said it for her but hearing himself say it out loud made him just a tad bit better.

"I know…it just scares me, you know."

"I do," Remus smiled and pulled her into a hug, "but you know James and Sirius, they won't go down easy." The two sat there and got lost in the flashing lights of the TV, not really listening or paying attention to what was going on, just trying to distract their minds.

Before they knew it, it was nearly midnight. Without James or Sirius in sight the two didn't feel too much like celebrating, but they flipped to the channel where they knew the New Year's festival was being held. Sirius all his life had wanted to be down by Big Ben and be in the large crowd that always cheered in the New Year when the clock chimed.

But they had decided against it this year, simply for the fact Remus had a bad feeling, of only they had gone. Sirius would be here right now.

"Five," the crowd had started to count down.

"Four,"

"Three,"

"Two" Lily and Remus jumped at the sound of a pop and arms embracing them, two panting men holding them "nearly missed it," Sirius whispered in Remus' ear.

"One!" Big Ben's loud chimes echoed through the TV screen and could be heard from outside as the two couples overjoyed at the timing of their counterparts joining them kissed as if they never had before.

No one was paying attention to the radio as it rang out the all clear, "Enjoy your new year, our final attack of 1978 brought no deaths and few injuries. We repeat there is no dark mark all is fine. Welcome 1979, and may you bless us with a safe new year."

The radio fizzed out as Big Ben chimed its twelfth time. The beginning of the New Year was breathed with a sigh of relief from the wizarding world. No one had been killed in the recent attack and for now all was well.

It was no secret though, everyone knew the Dark Lord was lurking in the shadows, and despite all the cheer people could feel him creeping into their houses and lingering in the dark shadows waking to pounce on them. But for now they would just enjoy the happiness and joy that the night would bring.

Pulling away Remus looked in Sirius' eyes and grinned, "next year we're gonna be down there at Big Ben."

"Promise!" Sirius grinned.

"I promise,"

"We'll all be there," James smiled, "The four of us, and Peter if he wants to join us next year." The group of four chuckled watching as a bottle of champagne floated into the room and four champagne glasses popped on the coffee table.

The bottle poured itself into the glasses and each person grabbed on, "To the future! Let it be long and happy, full of good times and good friends!" Sirius grinned

"That's cheesy!" James laughed, "To us and our good lives. Let it always be full of happiness and well…life!" the group laughed as they took a drink to the New Year. Hopefully this year, Voldemort would meet his end and all would be well again in the world.


	19. Black Fears

**This was going to be something totally different, it was going to be more cannon based. But half way through it changed it's mind. Soo this is a filler but it's also kinda showing whats going to happen. If that makes sense? Anyway enjoy. ALSO all you secret readers out there, write a review let me know who you are! I want to know who you are, and what your liking about the story so far!**

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><p><em>Something's going down. I'm already hearing whispers about it. Keep on your toes Sirius, I can't tell you much seeing as they don't trust me. You being my big brother and all. And I guess since I'm writing this they are right not to. But just…watch your back.<em>

_~Reg_

Sirius looked from the letter to his brother's owl then back to the letter. "Prongs! Get in here!"

"What?" James poked his head in as he was readjusting his shirt, "what's wrong?"

"Reg wrote."

"And?" He didn't get an answer just a paper thrust upon him. "So…what do we do?"

"Like he says, keep on our toes," Sirius stood up from his desk and threw his jacket over his shoulders. "And we can't really tell anyone, if Reg's willing to stick his neck out to give us a warning I won't pull the string for the guillotine."

"Right…so, what do we do with this then?"

"Potter! Black!" the snapping voice caused the two to jerk their attentions to the door bonking heads in the process, groaning in pain they looked at their captain. "Yes?" Sirius groaned.

"What are you two lollygagging in here for? We need you out on the training field, and what do you have in your hand?"

"This," Sirius looked at the paper, his mind already casting a spell to hide his brother's work. Creating the map had taught him much about word transfigurations. "A letter from my cousin, just saying hello." he held the letter out. "Wanna read?"

"No, I'm good. Hurry your asses up!" he snapped.

"You realize you could have just gotten yourself kicked off the force for that," James hissed motioning to the paper "All for your brother's neck."

"Course I do, Reg is well worth it." he eyed James "Plus you forget my father works upstairs. It'd be handled in a snap and I'd be back. SO don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Yea yea…whatever"

Work ended at five, and it was about time too! Sirius had received three cuts this training session and was nearly fed up with the whole ordeal. "When I signed up for this I didn't sign up for being almost beaten to death, did you see the size of that troll! It's not even our department!"

"You're the one who has magical creatures under your belt, Sirius. That's why you were faced up against the troll. Though don't worry tomorrow is boggarts, and I KNOW how much you love them!"

"Finally a challenge I can enjoy," Sirius laughed. "So I guess you're on the way home to the lovely Lily?"

"Yea, she wants me home early tonight. We'll come hang out tomorrow after work. Maybe go out to a movie or something?"

"Sounds good, I'll talk to Remus about it."

"Good." With a hug goodbye the two parted their ways home. James stepped into one of the floo networks while Sirius took one of the phone booth lifts up to the heart of London.

The walk home never took more than thirty minutes; it was always a nice walk. Even if there was snow on the ground and it was below ten degrees. It always reminded him of when he was a child, when he would sneak off to work with his father, and walk home with him. He'd pass some of the old shops they used to pass. Even the muggle ice cream shop they used to stop in during the summer and Sirius would always ask to get Reg one when they were leaving.

Today he found himself standing outside of its doors. Memories playing like movies in his mind. This year Regulus would graduate Hogwarts and then the second his feet hit that station floor he would belong to Voldemort. Sirius shook his head as he walked forward. Regulus was strong, maybe he'd be the first death eater to get away.

He walked past the street you turned on to get to Grimmauld place, his eyes looked up the road and even now where he stood he could see the front porch light on at number 12, or was it his imagination that put it there? He wasn't sure either way the porch light on meant his father wasn't home yet.

"Sirius?" Sirius turned at his name and smiled at his father, though the smile quickly faded. He looked his father over and his heart ached. The man looked twice as old as he really was. His eyes had dark rings under them, and his normal simply cut black hair seemed shaggy and out of place. If it wasn't for the man's grey eyes he wouldn't have known who he was.

"Dad? What the hell happened to you?"

Orion chuckled and stood up straight, looking only a little bit more like the man Sirius had known for years. "Nothing's wrong, just getting old is all. Don't look at me like that. I have years left; your grandfather lived till he was in his late eighties. And with me as a son that's pretty damn shocking."

"Yes but you have me and Reg."

"Yes your brother might just be the death of me." Orion's voice was full of bitterness and unnatural pain. Then again what father wouldn't be full of heartache and misery if their baby boy was stuck in a war and he was on the dark side? "Don't say that dad." Sirius whispered, he hid the tremble in his voice as he looked up at the man he called his father.

Despite both of them working in the ministry neither of them made time to see the other, it was just one of those things neither of them thought about. "How are you anyway? It feels like years since I've talked to you." Orion's soft chuckle caused Sirius to nearly lose it. His father was never a man for small talk. He only made small talk when something was really bothering him and he just needed someone near him. He swallowed his worry and looked his father in the eyes.

"Nothing much, the normal. And you?"

"Eh, it's work then your mother. I never get a break," he chuckled giving Sirius one of his small smiles. "It's good to see you." Sirius felt his insides twist. "Good to see you too dad."

"I better head home, or that old bat will come out here flapping and screeching." Orion reached forward and pulled Sirius into a tight hug. Sirius felt tears brim his eyes, it wasn't that his father never hugged him, because that wasn't the case. But the energy that poured off of his father, it nearly choked him. "I love you son."

Sirius had to bite down on his lip to control his emotions, 'not now dad…don't leave me now' his mind whispered. Though he didn't dare say it, he couldn't let his father know he was scared. "I love you too dad." he rested his head on his father's shoulder and the two stood there for a few moments before Orion pulled away. His eyes shined a little as he ruffled his eldest's hair, "how about lunch next week? You can bring James if you want."

"I'd like that," Sirius smiled. If he got a promise to see his dad again he'd leap at the chance. "Then I'll see you next week. I'll drop by and see how you're doing. I haven't talked to Hank in years," he chuckled. Sirius nodded and smiled, he could only imagine the stories he'd tell his captain but right now he didn't care. His father seemed to look just a little better, though Sirius figured it was because his father sensed his emotions and put on a strong face. "Well, I better head home, you get home to Remus safely now," Orion chuckled already turning his back on Sirius.

"You too dad." Sirius called, watching one of his biggest hero's take the long journey home. He watched until he could no longer see his father, he made sure his mind remembered every detail. He didn't know when he'd see his father next.

The rest of the walk was just trying to control himself, to get his worries out of his head. And only when he was home and hidden in Remus' arms did he settle down. Only in the safety of Remus' warm embrace did he let himself cry.


	20. First Strike

**This will be my last chapter update till Sunday, I have things going on. And might not be able to get to a computer with internet. I'll update Sunday night hopefully if I get a chance to write another chapter if not it'll definitely be up on Monday!**

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><p>The rest of the evening went by without much fuss; Sirius was quite most of the night. Just laying on the couch watching whatever played on the TV. Remus made dinner he watched Sirius, who normally ate like starving animal barley pick at his food. It hurt Remus to no ends to not be able to help him. The worst part was his father was still alive, sitting at Grimmauld place. God only knows what would happen if he was to actually die. Remus cringed at the idea, with a war going on anything was possible.<p>

"Rem?"

"Hmm," Remus looked up from his book. He felt his fingers grip the edges of the book, hoping whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be good. "You know, I've never really met your dad." Remus cringed, not where he wanted to go tonight. He shut his book and breathed a soft sigh, "Why do you wanna know about my dad?"

Sirius played with the band around his finger before looking up at Remus, "well, I feel kinda stupid for pouting over my father when well…you almost never speak of yours."

"Well…my dad hasn't really been in my life so much…since…well." He met grey eyes as he looked up at Sirius. "He can't look at me since I was turned; I'm a constant reminder of what he's done in the past."

"That's not fair! You're his son!"

"I tend to be the cause of a lot of problems Sirius; I've learned to live with it."

"But Remy…that's not fair!"

"Sirius you know life isn't fair, you of all of us should know this." Sirius went silent as he tried to think of something else to say. "Look, I can write my mother and we can go visit if you'd like. I just…behave. My mother knows about us, and he doesn't I don't exactly know how he'd react."

"Shouldn't give him more reason to hate you, right?"

"He doesn't hate me per say…or so says my mother. I don't know what his deal is." Remus sighed, "Lets just leave it ok."

"Whatever you say Rem," Sirius gave him a small smile. At least some of his spark was back. Remus smiled as Sirius crawled over and rested his head in Remus' lap. "What book you reading tonight?"

"Another telling of King Arthur, want me to read it to you?" Remus' smile only widen as he heard the TV click off. "Of course I do."

The two boys lost the track of time; the only sounds that the two could hear were pages turning, Remus' voice as well as their own breathing. It was a calm and peaceful evening; despite Sirius' near melt down only hours ago everything seemed to be back to normal.

Remus was just about to turn to the next page, when static entered the quietness of the room. Sirius had already raised up, it was way too early for the evening war news and tolls. He had made his way to the door and was already putting his shoes on when the voice came over the radio.

"All Aurors anywhere near central London are required to be on guard, Voldemort has been spotted." Remus and Sirius looked at one another both boys' blood ran cold. They waited on baited breaths for the rest of the broadcast, "The Potters seemed to be what he was after," it was like the man who was in charge of the broadcast knew Sirius was listening knew that both Sirius and Remus would be paying attention. "Neither were harmed and successfully escaped him. All purebloods who are listening, who do not follow Voldemort, need to be on the lookout -"

"Where are James and Lily?" Sirius snapped, his anger bubbling over, "calm down Sirius," Remus whispered coming to his side. His hands were shaking as he put his hands on Sirius' shoulder. "Think clearly, where's the mirror?"

It was like a million light bulbs went off at once as Sirius jerked away from Remus' hold and raced into the bedroom. Remus couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Sirius dive across the bed and dig into his bedside drawer.

"JAMES POTTER!"

"I take it the broadcast just aired?" James' tired eyes were the first thing to appear in the mirror. "We're ok Sirius, a little shaken up. But ok."

"Where are you?"

"Right now in the ministry's office, filing a report. You should have seen Lily, out there fighting Sirius." He chuckled, "Do you care if we stay are your place tonight, Lily doesn't want to head home tonight."

"Of course, you're more than welcome to crash here. We'll come get you."

"No need, we'll just apparate there."

Sirius sighed as he looked at James' face for the millionth time as it reflected in the mirror. "And yes," James continued, "I do think this is what he was talking about." Sirius chuckled; of course James was reading his thoughts. "We'll be there soon, tell Remus to make a pot of coffee."

"Will do." James' face faded from the mirror and Sirius flopped down on the bed, "REMUS!" he shouted though it was rather muffled through the covers.

"Yes pet," Remus chuckled as Sirius sat bolt up with the pet name, he ignored Sirius' grumble as the boy sat up.

"James asked if he could stay here."

"You said yes I hope." Remus crossed his arms over his chest leaning against the doorframe.

"Of course I said yes!" Sirius glared at him before shaking his head, "that's not the point. James wanted you to make a pot of coffee." Remus nodded turning his back and heading for the kitchen.

James and Lily showed up about thirty minutes later, both looking rather shaken up, "You wouldn't even know he was evil when he showed up! I mean…James was looking the complete other way. And he comes up behind me, and taps me on the shoulder. And I turn around and you can just see it in his eyes. I couldn't even make a sound. He asked me if I was Lily Potter, and I nodded. It's not like I could have lied."

"And it was about that time I turned around, and I just knew. I knew it was him."

"And what did you do then," Sirius was acting more like a child being told one of the best stories he'd ever heard than someone who had nearly just lost his best friends. "Well I did what any good natured human being and husband would do I pulled Lily behind me and in front of it had to be ten muggles pulled out my wand."

"Oh yes good natured human beings just thrust out a wand in front of the Dark Lord." Remus chuckled refilling James' coffee cup he was holding up. "And what did he do?"

"He grinned…I swear as a kid this guy had to be the most frightening individual anyone had ever seen. His eyes, Merlin they will haunt me for the rest of my life. They were the darkest brown almost black." James shivered, "and you think a man like that would look, I don't know disfigured or whatever. But he looked like any normal bloke! I could have passed him millions of times on the street."

"Every one whose evil tends to be just as normal looking as you or I, James," Sirius chuckled. "So what'd you do after that?"

"He asked us if we wanted to join!" Lily laughed, "Honestly James and me…joining him! I think he forgets you married a muggleborn!" she laughed louder leaning against James who held her tight. "James just looked him square in the face and told him never."

"Then all hell broke loose, I didn't notice the death eaters hiding in the shadows, there had to be at least ten of them, hidden away." James sighed, "They just went nuts. At first Voldemort acted like he was going to turn around and just leave. But we both knew something was coming, and then well it came."

"Like hellfire, I mean out of everywhere spells were flying. Everyone around us muggle and magical just freaked out. Disapparating and running for the hills. Of course…not everyone got away." Lily's normally beautiful face turned dark. "And neither James nor I was going to let so many innocent's die. James sent his patronous to tell Dumbledore and we both fought. Eventually Aurors showed up along with a few order members but…the damage had been done."

"Merlin only knows what would have happened if we hadn't stayed. It was crazy Sirius, nothing like you or I have ever faced. Voldemort definitely has turned up his game."

"Means our job is gonna be much harder." Sirius grumbled resting his head against Remus' shoulder. "Hear that honey?"

"Loud and clear," Remus grumbled. "Lily you and I are going to start hanging out when they disappear."

"Sounds like a damn good idea," Lily took James' hand in hers and held it tight. "I can't deal with worrying alone. Especially if we want a baby," she looked at James smiling. James couldn't hide his wide grin.

"Already?" Sirius looked between the two of them. "You're already pregnant!"

"Trying," Lily laughed.

"You haven't even been married a year!"

"Well, we both figured it wouldn't happen. It took my mother a year into her and my father's marriage to have my sister. And with stress of the war. We figured if we got lucky it was meant to be, ya know."

"Who knows," Remus chuckled. "He might just end the war, be born and BOOM its over." he laughed.

"Wouldn't that be nice, to grow up in a world without Voldemort." James sighed.

The four laughed as the all huddled together on the couch. Small talk endued most of the night until the sun had started to peak through the blinds. Remus was the last to fall asleep huddled on that couch. Lily's head was against his right shoulder. James's head was in her lap, her fingers were laced in his hair. And Sirius was curled up on his left; his hand was resting on Remus' knee. Remus looked around him and felt tears prick his eyes.

The world was so beautiful and at times one of the best places to be. But even the most beautiful of things can be oh so cruel, and last night it had almost showed its darkest side. Here in this room, surrounded by these three people was how he wanted to die. If the world was to end right now, and they all were to be gone he'd know he was safe and loved.

But fate was never so kind, he knew this life he lived right now, was an hourglass and it was slowly running out of sand. But he hoped with all of his being that it was just the fear that made him think that way.

Wrapping his right arm around Lily's waist. And resting his head against hers, and putting his left arm across Sirius' side he closed his eyes. And as Sirius' alarm clock went off in the other room he fell sound asleep. Not really caring if Sirius was late or even made it to work that day.


	21. Cross to Bare

****Hi guys! I'm back! Sorry it's such a late upload I tried to get a peice written yesterday to post but it didn't happen. And after three edits I'm still not happy with this peice, it didn't come out nearly as well as I planned. Hopefully it all makes sense as to whats going on, but God only knows. If not I'll end up clearing everything up as time goes on. There will be quite a few chapters about this****

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><p>Months passed by since the attack on James and Lily, most of the world had calmed down. Though security in the wizarding world had gotten tighter in the past few months. More attacks had happened on purebloods, the Longbottom's were attacked in March. Sirius had been busier that ever and had barley had a day off.<p>

"You realize," Remus grumbled from one of the leather bound chairs in his room. "If you had just a day off, you might actually not be so stressed out." His eyes never left the book he currently had in his hand he knew the conversation was most likely going nowhere.

"Remus," Sirius chuckled as he buttoned one of his cufflinks, "I'll take off sometime the end of the month is this ok?"

"And of course the day you actually take off your running off! What am I going to do sit here?"

"You could come with me," Sirius grinned. "And chance running into your crazy mother, no I think I'll stay home and wait for you."

"Have it your way."

Remus sat at home for hours waiting for Sirius to come back, keeping the ministry radio on incase anything happened. But nothing ever came, and after six Sirius walked back through the door.

The slamming of Sirius' jacket caused Remus to leap up from his chair, his book leaving his hands. "S-Sirius?"

"What!" Sirius snapped, "Can a man not come home to peace?"

"That bad?" Remus poked his head out of his study and sighed, "I tried to warn you."

"Stuff it Lupin, I happened to walk smack dab into my mother."

Remus tried not to laugh, or even to chuckle. But Sirius' aggravated face was just too hard not to laugh at. "Oh shut up!" he snapped. "Now look here Black," Remus grumbled as he walked over to him throwing his arms around Sirius' shoulders. "I will not tolerate a nasty attitude tonight. So just get over your mother and come sit with me." Remus ignored Sirius muttering as he was led to the couch.

The Black family lay forgotten or so Sirius thought until the end of the month when his vacation started. He'd decided today he wouldn't even dress. He'd lounge around in only his boxers and wait for his boyfriend to return from the store and once he did neither of them were leaving the flat for the next few hours. And if they left the bedroom it'd only be to eat then to crawl right back. He nearly jumped when he heard a knock at the door; Remus had only been gone twenty minutes. He chuckled, must have forgotten his wallet again.

"What'd you do forget your- Reg?"

"Can I come in," Regulus' eyes were red and he had dark bags under his eyes. His eyes didn't seem to focus on him more on whatever was on his mind. "Quickly, it'll only take a few moments."

"Err…" Sirius looked behind him, knowing full well no one was behind him. He'd known his brother for all but a year of his life. And right now he could see it in his brother's face he wouldn't like what he was about to say. "Yea come in."

Sirius stepped aside as his brother quickly walked inside, shutting the door behind him he looked at his brother's back. The once noble and proud young man he'd seen nearly a few weeks ago now slouched and looked tired and worried. Something was amiss.

Sirius felt that the look seemed so familiar and his blood ran cold when he realized exactly where he'd seen it. His father, only a few months ago looked the same way. He felt his throat tighten and run dry. He didn't know if he could take any bad news.

"Sirius,"

"Look…" Sirius started, "Warn me how bad this is going to be before you open your mouth. I don't know if I can take it without a warning."

"Ok then here is your warning," Regulus grumbled from his seat on the couch. He patted the space beside him, "now come sit."

"Want tea first," Sirius felt himself begin to dance around the pink elephant in the room, he hated confrontation. Especially when it came to family.

"No, I need you to come a listen to me, "Regulus looked down at his feet. It wasn't like the any Black to admit defeat and here was Regulus, the death eater admitting defeat. It was in that moment the aggressive older brother side of him came out. Daring anyone to lay a finger on his baby brother. Sirius was at his side and lifted his brother's head up. "Start talking."

"I guess it started soon after we got home, after graduation," Regulus gave a look around the apartment. "We're alone, no worries." Sirius gave him a soft smile, hoping the boy would calm down

Regulus nodded and cleared his throat. "After graduation, mother informed me we were having a guest for dinner. Little did I know at the time it was Voldemort. He was giving me my first assignment as a death eater."

"Why are you coming to me Reg…I mean…I'm glad you came to me I just…I don't know what to do."

"I just want you to listen," Regulus' silver eyes didn't leave Sirius'. Despite their differences the brothers still looked much alike, and one of the few things that appearance wise was different was the color of their eyes. Sirius' was more like thunderclouds, ready for a hard rain. While Regulus' was more like the color of the ring on his left hand. "

"Voldemort is after you, as well as the Potter's and whoever else he can get his hands on." Regulus sighed, "Even Dad isn't safe…" his voice trailed off and he started to wring his wrists. Dread rushed over Sirius like an ice cold shower, he even shivered as he felt himself reach out and touch his brother. The boy flinched, Regulus never flinched. "What did he tell you to do Reg?"

"He has this whole plan, have death eaters infiltrate the Ministry, all branches," Regulus didn't need to look up to know Sirius had it all figured out. Sirius' hands jerked away from his brother as he stood up. "What does he want?" Sirius' voice was loud and clear.

"He wants me in dad's position," Sirius felt himself relax with his brothers words. If it was the position he was after his father was safe. But he should have known it wasn't that simple.

"But he always wants him out of the way…permanently." The dread refilled Sirius as he looked at the top of Regulus' head. His brother had his head hung as he was looking down at his hands. "He wants my first kill to be my father…"

Sirius didn't mean to punch a hole in the wall, it had just happened. He didn't even know he he'd gotten that close to the wall. Maybe he had walked to look out the window to breath, or maybe he had tried to escape the angry and fear that now filled the room. "And…have you agreed?"

"Can you just tell Voldemort you pass?" Regulus' voice was shaking. Sirius wasn't sure if it was about the task or if it was from his brother losing his temper. Sirius had always been verbal when it came to his temper, he tended to gripe and groan and snap. And in five minutes it'd be over, and what wasn't dealt with was bottled up, and was used for other things.

But when you had to think about your little brother killing your father because there was a dark force lurking in the shadows one tended to screw bottling it up.

"No you can't at least not to his face." Sirius turned and walked towards his brother, Regulus couldn't even look at him. And Sirius figured it was simply because he couldn't look at a man who for ever inch resembled their father. "And what are you going to do, run? And what does he want in there anyway? It's not like everything isn't on record, he could easily get it from other places, hell use Crouch's kid!"

"Prophecies Sirius, the hall of prophecies. He wants full control of every seer in Great Britain, and you know just how that happens. You get the Department of Mysteries; you get the list of seers. As well as every Prophecy ever told."

"Ok…so what?" Sirius grumbled, he didn't like this. Didn't like talking about what Voldemort wanted especially when he couldn't exactly tell anyone. Regulus was already putting himself at risk.

"Are you that daft!" Regulus stood up and started to pace. "He wants to know what secret torture or killing things lie behind the door."

"Well…why doesn't he just ask Dad what's back there." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at Regulus, "Dad would easily give it up. He might not be as crazy as our mother but he still is a purebloodist."

"Dad's changed…"

"Changed what?" Sirius couldn't help the smile that slowly started to slip on his lips. Had their father really realized what Sirius had known for years?

"He told mother last night that it was a useless fight, purebloods are dying out. And we need the muggle born's and half-blood's. They are the only way for magic to survive before we bluebloods run the whole world dry." Regulus sighed, "And I as well see it…but it's too late, for me anyway."

"It's never too late to change." Sirius stood up before rubbing his brother's shoulder. "When does he want it done? And when does he want you in his position?"

"As soon as possible, he wanted me to do it that night. But…when dad called me in his office I was ready to do it. To kill him, but…" Regulus looked away. Sirius bit his lip; he could have sworn he saw tears in his brother's eyes. If he cried Sirius wouldn't be able to take it. "He told me he was proud of me, ya know. That he loved me." Regulus looked up, yep there were tears.

"He's never been as close to me as he has been you. I guess it had to do with you being the heir. But I don't know, it didn't matter. When he said that I felt all of my resolve fade away. I couldn't do it. I couldn't point my wand at the man who gave me life…I couldn't end his just because someone else wanted him dead. Despite how much sometimes I wish he'd just keel over…I couldn't make him." Regulus wiped his face on his sleeve and took a deep breath.

"I kept trying though, with other things. I set up traps at work; I tried to poison him over and over. But…each time he'd go to do whatever I had set up. I'd somehow get him out of it. Give him an antidote, get his attention. Anything to save him."

Regulus had hid is head in his hands, Sirius felt himself wrap his arms around his brother. He was a mess; Regulus had always been the one who was always in control of everything. Nothing, not even a hair slipped out of place when it was doing anything. And now here he was barley grasping the strings.

"Well, if we run we have to at least tell dad why…"

"NO!" Regulus starred at his older brother, Sirius couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up. It reminded him so much of their childhood, always doing things they really weren't supposed to and if one of them got hurt or lost neither would want to tell their parents. Though typically if either of them were told it was always their father. "He can never know we just need to disappear."

"And not warn him Voldemort has him on his list?"

"Well…we can do that. But…just me and you." Regulus looked at him as Sirius shook his head. "I don't go anywhere without Remus at least." Regulus looked like he was about to argue before his eye glanced over the mark on Sirius' still shirtless chest. He might have seen it at least ten times while he was here. But now that his heavy burden was shared his mind was now free to register things. His eyes went wide.

"Your…he…"

"I'm marked, yes." Sirius smiled before holding up his left hand. "Remus is along for the ride, he knows we already talked about it." Regulus gave a heavy sigh. It was no fair the world had been so cruel to him, freshly turned eighteen and here he was making a huge life decision.

"What are we going to do Sirius? We can't exactly plan to run away forever."

"We can try, run to the states. Voldemort won't even tempt to go there, we'll start there. And keep running till this God forsaken war is over."

"We might never be able to come back…what about the rest of your crew?" Regulus looked at him. "I can come back anytime after you settled where ever I can get you. I don't have to stay gone for years and years, I can come back once in a while. And they could come visit." Sirius offered him a smile; it'd be hard to really hide forever. But there was no way Sirius was going to let his brother get tied up in all of this without trying.

"Fine…give me till the end of summer, if I up and run now Voldemort will know. I have to wait, he has other plans. I think there are other things going on behind closed doors." Sirius nodded, for now the conversation would be kept secret.


	22. Q and A's

**This is just another chapter on one of the few that are planned as to what's going on with Reg. This is Sirius' attempt at explaing to Remus why Voldemort wants the Department of Mysteries. Hopefully it's not confusing XD**

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><p>Remus gave Sirius a dark look his patience had finally run thin, the past week Sirius had become secretive and always asking questions. It had gotten too much with a slam of his book he glared at Sirius "Give it up Black, I've had it up to here with your secrets what the fuck are you doing?"<p>

Sirius stared at him wide eyed, he was lucky he'd just sat his glass down on the counter otherwise it'd be shattered on the floor, "n-nothing I just…"

"That's bullshit," Remus stood up and stood in front of Sirius, nose to nose they stared at one another. "Look here, you either tell me what the hell is going on. Or I'm out that door until you get your shit straight."

Their relationship had been strained for the past few weeks, it was mid July, and nothing had gone right since the start of Sirius' vacation. He'd been full of jitters and unexplained paranoia for the first few days. Then undying questions the rest of the time. And once he'd gone back to work he'd stayed late at work, and when he came home he'd go straight to bed.

"Remus, wait a minute, can't we talk about this?" Sirius looked him over before grabbing a hold of the wolf's shoulders. There was no joke in Remus' eyes. "Then start talking Black, or I start walking. I can't take this anymore."

"Then lets go sit down," Sirius' voice seemed on edge as he lead Remus to the couch. Remus felt his whole body go ridged what had Sirius gone and done? Had he cheated? Remus felt his whole body run ice cold. Please don't let it be that!

"Wait…" Remus stopped he couldn't take another step, "this isn't going to be one of those, it's me not you conversations….is it?" Sirius' loud laughter caused Remus to glare at him. "What! You think it's that!" he laughed, "Oh Remus love your hilarious, no it's nothing like that."

"Then what the fuck has been your problem these last few weeks, huh?" Remus crossed his arms over his chest, "because I'm to the point, whatever it is. It's killing this relationship." Sirius' laughter instantly stopped and he now starred at Remus, his eyes didn't even seem to blink as he stared.

"It's about my brother."

"Regulus? What, why? I thought he was no longer an issue of yours, you can't exactly stop him anymore." Remus looked at him, it made no sense Sirius had been asking questions about green cards and traveling. He'd been asking about jumping to the states, hiding from the war.

"I can't but…I have to hide him Remus. Look, just sit down I'll explain."

"No I think I'd rather stand, it's easier to get the door when you lie to me."

"I'm not going to lie you asshole now sit the fuck down if you want answers!" Sirius glared at him, Remus could feel his anger. And it wasn't easy to infuriate a Padfoot and here he was faced with a very rare and raw side of Sirius. Remus, for his best interest, chose to sit down. "Thank you," he snapped.

Remus ran his hand through his hair as he looked at his lover, Sirius never ran from anything. It was that simple, and almost for a month that'd had been the one thing he'd talked about over and over, running away. "Now explain."

"Where do I start?" It had been a rhetorical question but Remus chuckled. "How about at the beginning?"

"Shut up," Sirius gave a deep breath. "Well the day my vacation started, just after you left Regulus stopped by,"

"He was here! And you didn't tell me!"

"Do I need to tell you about everything that happens while you're gone, dear?" Sirius' voice was laced with ice. The boy was never this harsh to anyone, especially not a marauder. And never Remus, Remus sighed. Apparently this was not one of those times Sirius got paranoid over air. "Fine…I'll shut up; we'll talk about that later."

"Sounds wise," Sirius huffed. "Anyway before you rudely interrupted, Regulus stopped by and…well he told me Voldemort's first assignment for him." Remus' eyes never left Sirius' face despite the urge to roll his eyes Remus continued to listen. "Voldemort wants him to kill my father, for his position in the ministry."

"Why can't he just oh I don't know make your father hand it over?" Remus sighed.

"Doesn't work like that, my father controls that whole department."

"I figured that out, why wouldn't it work?"

Sirius glared at him before shaking his head, "It's never really been explained to me, I know our family has held the same position in the Ministry for centuries, at least my father's side that is. Always head of the Department of Mysteries." Remus leaned forward now; his interests had been tugged on. "Soo…what exactly does Voldemort want with a bunch of things no one knows what it does?"

"Reg said he wants the hall of prophecies, but I asked him why Crouch's boy couldn't get in there. Apparently it's not all he wants."

"WAIT! Jr. is a death eater?"

"Geeze Remus where do you live under a rock? Come on I told you this two months ago!"

"How do you know?"

"I shot his mask off in a battle," Sirius shook his head. "That's beside the point!"

"But why is he not arrested?" Sirius gave him a defeated look; clearly he wasn't going to get past this without explaining. "Remus…how does anyone get away with anything? Do you really think Barty is going to throw his own SON in jail?" Remus shook his head "Yea…that's why."

"Anyway, there's so much in that room or in the whole department I should say that if Voldemort got his hands on he just might be able to win this war in a night." Remus gave him a wide eyed stare, "Yea…it's like Area 51 in there. Dad took me one time, and there are so many things in there that just with a touch of your hand could blow up a block. So…one only knows what's all in there."

"So…he wants access to weapons?"

"And Merlin only knows what else, I'm sure my father would know almost everything in there."

"Then why the hell does Voldemort want him dead, your father is a purebloodist, he'd happily help Voldemort."

"He's changed sides Rem…he's realized that it's not worth it." The realization hit Remus' face. "So that's why he's been worried?"

"No," Sirius shook his head, "I think dad knows Voldemort knows, but he's more worried for Reg. He's in this deep Rem, way to deep. Especially for someone so young. Regulus is smart, I'll give him that. But he's jumped whenever my mother said to jump. He wasn't like me, he didn't question everything they spoon-fed him. He did what he was told, and was their little prince for it."

"Ok, so explain why he needs to be dead, can't Reg just tell him the deal and take the position? It won't look odd; your father is fifty years old. People typically retire at this point."

"It doesn't work like that," Sirius sighed. "My father's magic is what keeps people out of that department, without it anyone could just waltz right in. It's our family's job."

"So…couldn't he just take it away?"

"You've heard of a love shield, right?" Sirius sighed, "Of course I have, we learned about this sixth year in charms. Remember?"

"Well that's how my father's magic worked. It's his father's magic he keeps alive and so on and so forth. For the next heir to change the rules the one who's in charge has to die." Remus gave him a curious look.

"Look I don't know exactly how it works, I'm sure Voldemort doesn't either. But from how I understand it from what dad has ever told me all of my life about it was this, until his father died he always had problems with certain charms that worked on walls and doors and such. Protection would either be too high or too low, and the only thing that kept his ass out of danger was his father's blood running through his veins. There are certain parts of that whole department where no one can go because of those charms."

"So he needs Orion to die for Regulus to gain control, then for him to get whatever he needs."

"That's my guess," Sirius shrugged. "It's a stupid plan with tons of holes; Regulus could easily get killed by our fathers or grandfathers charms if he acts against their wishes as well as the magic that guards it."

"What about you, aren't you next in line for the position?" Remus looked at him "Wouldn't Voldemort want to kill you as well?"

"No I'm disinherited; I couldn't walk in the department of mysteries like I can't go back to Grimmauld place without being reinherited. So I'm no threat to his plans."

"Well at least we have that much." Remus sighed, "So explain running away, now that I know why. Explain what this came from."

"Reg can't do it, he can't kill my father. And if Regulus runs away my dad is pretty safe, for now. No one can inherit the position, and it takes a decade for the charms to wear off. And when they do then they'd have to find someone else to take over unless a Black, my father in this case if he was to die would appoint someone new to the position." Remus raised an eyebrow.

"In other words, if Reg and I fled the country, when Dad dies he'd pick someone else to inherit the position, and they would take it."

"Say either one of you returns, what happens?""It depends I guess, I mean I could easily start it all back up if I entered the hall. Especially if I was to take charge of it. But I guess whoever was in charge would have to give the position back. I'd be just a normal person if that were the case. Remus I honestly don't know. I'd have to talk to my father about it, but I'm sure we'd lose the position if Reg and I were to run away. So it doesn't really matter."

"This is confusing…just…Nevermind, what are we doing?"

"Well, the plan is after summer to get to the states, and then start running."

"Fantastic, where are you two going and what am I going to do?"

"Your coming with us, I'm not leaving you."

"You can't take a werewolf with you; I'm too much of a hassle."

"That's why I've been bombarding you with questions, your coming with me. That's the end of it. He knows it, I know it, and now you know it."

James and Lily?"

"Once Reg is hidden I can pop back and forth, it'll be like now. Voldemort wouldn't dare go to the states until he has control of Great Britain, which hopefully never happens. And if it does we'll go to Mexico."

"You can't speak a lick of Spanish," Remus chuckled. "Then lets hope we never have to go." the two laughed as the cuddled together. Finally the weight on Sirius' shoulders was lifted or at least it was now shared. Either way he felt better.

"Well…so much for never moving again." Remus laughed kissing along Sirius' jaw. "Are we really going to do this?"

"Unless something happens, by the end of August we will be US bound." Sirius sighed, "When the war's over we'll come back. I promise."

"We better, I'll miss Scotland."

"I'll miss London, I've lived here all my life…it'll be one hell of a change," Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus as the two cuddled on the couch. "Satisfied with your answers?"

"Sorta, I understand but it leaves me with more questions."

"Tell me about it love, tell me about it." Sirius rested his head on top of Remus' and starred at the calendar on the wall; they only had forty three days left here in England. And there was just too much to do, hopefully they wouldn't have to run long…


	23. Holes

**This chapter is written in two parts. It was originally much longer, but I ended up rushing the end to try and make it all fit. Which I didn't like so I seperated one large chapter with a rushed ending into two chapters which end better. Tomorrow will be the next part!**

**ALSO off topic but I am on Pottermore! It's so much fun! If your on there add me I'm DawnSparks24687, message me on here your name so I can know who you are :D**

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><p>Remus rubbed his face as he flipped through this months bills, no one had ever told him adult life was so grey. As you grow up you always associate adults with being able to do anything. To be free and fun, having a colorful life.<p>

Remus threw the bills aside watching them as the scattered across the tabletop offering a dark huff, if only he could be a kid again. Just to be able to run away and hide in the field near his childhood home, it'd make life so much easier. He'd be able to get rid of the stress of day to day life and just be again. He needed a strong drink.

He rose to his feet and still covered in his pj bottoms he shuffled to the kitchen, it was well past noon. And it was just another normal day, stuck inside. It was hell for a werewolf who always needed work to do. The flat never had a speck of dust anywhere, and it wasn't because Remus liked to clean. Everything was always in tip top shape and nine times out of ten Sirius always came home to dinner already made and waiting.

Remus rubbed his forehead with the butt of his palm; he really was the woman in this relationship. Growing up he'd been taught to be a man. To run a household, to earn the money and take care of his wife and children. Here he was doing a woman's job.

Reaching for the strongest scotch he had in the cabinet he took a large swig and groaned as the fire engulfed his throat and stomach, yea that hit the stop. Wiping his mouth he put the bottle back, knowing if it stayed in sight he'd drink himself stupid. Full moon was soon upon him and like normal around this time of the month the wolf ate at his mind. Typically life never bothered him; he had a wonderful life really. He had a loving man who always came home to him every night and gave him a kiss. He had friends who no matter the issues were always at his side. A good roof over his head and always had enough food.

As a teenager he'd read up on how werewolves tended to live, and he was a very lucky man. Typically wolves lived in the woods in packs and barley had a Knut to their name. And here he was even with just Sirius' money from work had over three times the amount of money he'd probably ever had in his life.

He looked around the flat, all decorated to fit the time period, after so much hard work. At least he had accomplished something; he had made their house a home. And that counted for something right?

The ministry radio hissed to life as yet another update for the Aurors poured through its speakers. Remus gave an inward sigh, yet another small attack somewhere. He had had it up to here with all of the bullshit Voldemort had been causing.

It was hard for anyone to go out anymore, wasn't this supposed to be the time of their lives?

Sighing as he flopped down on the couch Remus laid there and tried the best he could to close his eyes, but every time he did he could hear Sirius over and over 'We have to run away, the three of us.'

He rolled on his side and glared at the silent TV, of course they had to run away. Leave everything they had behind just to save someone who honestly had screwed themselves over. Sirius would up and run for Regulus it was no lie. Of course if Remus had any siblings who were like Reg he'd surely do the same, but without knowing that it irritated him.

Wasn't life good? Why did they have to run with him, couldn't they just send him away?

"Remus?" the voice called from the door, "are you home?"

"I'm in here Sirius," Remus sighed as he sat up. He gave his boyfriend a gentle smile, "your home early."

"Injury on the field," Sirius chuckled holding up his bandaged hand, "no worries though. Just a scratch, they sent me home though. So…yea" he rubbed the back of his hand. "You don't look happy to see me."

"You're injured," Remus walked over and inspected Sirius' hand, "why the hell would I be happy to see you for that reason?"

"I meant lately," Sirius pushed Remus' chin up with his good hand and looked in his lover's golden eyes. "What's wrong Remus?" Remus shook his head and smiled, "nothing's wrong Sirius."

"You're a shitty lair, you always have been. Tell me what's wrong. I can't fix it if you won't open up, you've been so shut off lately…what have I done?"

Remus looked Sirius over before turning his back and taking a deep breath, "Your plan has a million and one holes." He didn't have to turn around to know Sirius was giving him a confused stare, "excuse me?"

"Your plan, to run away!"

Sirius starred at him wide eyed before shaking his head to clear his thoughts and clearing his throat. "Prove it!" He crossed his arms across his chest much like a child who had been told he couldn't have a cookie before dinner.

"How about me, for starters!"

"What about you!"

"Oh I don't know what's in a few days asshole!" Sirius tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, apparently he had no clue. "Are you fucking serious?"

"No you are," he grinned.

"Oh forget it! Go to America without me!" Remus stormed off into the kitchen forgetting the whole argument.

"Now get your ass back here right now and explain to me!"

Remus felt what bit of control he had snap, it almost sounded like a shout a man would shout at his wife, and Sirius had never shouted at him like that. With so much dominance and control, he was no ones house wife. Remus rounded on him, eyes full of fire and walked right back over to Sirius and starred in his grey eyes. "You, Sirius Black, can go to America without me. For the simple fact you've forgotten a very LARGE part of me!"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Sirius shouted, hands flailing for emphasis.

"We are not children anymore! This isn't a game! This is life and we can't have our mommies and daddies fix it if we fuck up!"

"Well forgive me if I don't ever really know how that feels!" Sirius snapped his teeth barred. "How about you act like an adult then Mr. Lupin and explain to me what I had forgotten."

"I AM A WEREWOLF!" he shouted, Sirius starred at him like he had four heads. "Oh did you forget that?"

"OF COURSE I DIDN"T FORGET YOU GIT!" He shouted back before glaring at Remus "And here I thought you were the intelligent one and here you are thinking I forgot something that important." The glare pointed in Remus' direction should have been lethal.

"Don't shout at me! You're the fucking git who thinks he can take his little brother and run away and both of you be free! ARE YOU STUPID?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm say," Remus held up his hands, "One," marking off a finger "I am a werewolf I cannot simply get on a plane and buy a house I have to have a place to HIDE once a month! Two," another finger "Again werewolf does Regulus know?" Sirius nodded, another finger. "Three, it may take us MONTHS to find a place to live! I do not have months Sirius; I have days, week's maybe. But I don't have months!"

"You don't think they don't have abandoned houses in America?"

"I don't want to do that anymore! I am so sick of hiding away in an old house that could honestly fall down on me at any moment. I got sick of the shack I won't do it again!"

Sirius starred at him, his silver eyes full of so much emotion Remus couldn't even begin to read it. Most of it was defeat and hurt, his plan was so simple. And in such good light, all he wanted was to save his baby brother, when in reality it's all he had ever done his whole life. Keep Reg safe and here he was trying to do it again. And yet again something barred his way. "Anymore bullet holes?"

"What about money, you can't expect James and Lily to pay for us to fly there let alone live there! I couldn't hold a job if I wanted to. We don't know the laws on werewolves for the states, nor do we know the magical laws in general." Five more fingers went up; the fire had now died in the fight. Remus felt terrible but it had to be said. "And also…"

"Stop," Sirius no longer was holding Remus' gaze his head was hung and his eyes on the floor, "just stop…I get it." Remus had to swallow a lump that formed in his throat; Sirius' voice was so different, so full of sorrow and pain. Remus reached out to touch him only for Sirius to brush him away as he turned his back. "It's stupid."

"Your heart's in the right place…" Remus rubbed the back of his neck, he felt like he'd just shot Sirius in the heart. Really he had, Sirius had talked to him so much in the past and much more often lately, about his and Regulus' childhood. He'd heard so much recently about how the boys were more like each others sidekick so much of their lives. If one got in trouble they both would take the fall.

They had been each other's best friends till Sirius went away to school, and then slowly the world Sirius knew started to crumble under his feet. He had a chance now to get back what he had, to be his brother's best friend again. And he wanted to share that with Remus, he should be honored. But he would be lying if he said some of the attack earlier had not been out of jealousy.

Sirius didn't speak as he walked towards the bedroom, Remus followed right behind him, "Sirius?"

"I'm taking a shower," his voice disappeared behind the bathroom door. And despite saying everything Remus needed to say he'd never felt so stupid. With a defeated sigh he walked back into the living room and flopped on the couch. He really should start making something to eat, even though it was only three in the afternoon. He put his head in his hands, he couldn't cook. Not now, it'd definitely make him sicker than a dog.


	24. Repair

**Rated M for the ending! Boy on Boy Slash! It's really light stuff really, I'm a terrible lemon writer XD**

**Whoa...longest chapter yet, including my little author note it's three thousand words. This is a contiuneation of Chapter 23, so if you don't exactly remember what's going on just go back and read the last couple paragraphs. You should be pretty set :) Enjoy guys!**

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><p>He waited for Sirius to come out of the bedroom; he always took a shower to think over things when the marauders got in a fight. He never came; his shower had long since been over. It'd been an hour since Remus' explosion. And the two hadn't spoken a word. Remus was still sitting on the couch, waiting.<p>

Sirius was locked away in the bathroom, starring at his own tear stained reflection. Though now the mirror was missing a chip out of the corner and his knuckles now were covered in dried blood. Sirius was a very superstitious man, and never once in his life broke a mirror. But today, of all days, he'd shattered his first mirror. And at the moment starring into his own puffy eyed reflection, he really didn't give a damn.

Did Remus really think he hadn't thought about taking him? Had he really believed that Sirius hadn't the slightest inkling how this would affect him. He knew how the moon worked, knew what happened. And he'd made sure he'd handled it the best he could. Of course his plan had holes in it; you could never make a solid plan. Because something always happened.

That's why with every plan Sirius ever created and had very good intentions on following through there were holes, and it tended to be more than one. Remus had always gotten on him for it, but if there was errors to be expected one was better prepared. At least that was how he'd always seen it.

And now here he stood, in the middle of a plan ripped to shreds by the one person he needed on his side. He would be taking his brother and lover far away to hide them from this terrible war. His brother was already scared out of his wits. He needed Remus to be strong for him to help him through this. And now even Remus wouldn't stand by his plan.

He'd spoke to James about it only this morning; it had been the cause of his accident earlier. James had blown his top, calling him a coward. Ranting and raving, and Sirius out of blind rage went into training and got himself nearly killed. It didn't matter if he died who'd really care?

He looked away from the mirror around the small bathroom. This was his and Remus' home; it had been for almost over a year to the day. He really didn't want to leave it either. But his family was at stake, and any good man would give up his prized possessions to protect those he loved, right?

Sirius rubbed his face wincing at the pain in his knuckles, after washing and bandaging both his hand and arm he gave a sigh and gave his reflection one last glance. Was this what the noble Sirius Black had become? A coward?

He walked out of the bathroom and changed into his normal clothes and walked out into the living room, half expecting Remus to have left him never to return. When he saw Remus sitting there he breathed a soft sigh of relief. At least for now he still sat there.

"Remus?" his raw throat screamed in protest with any words he tried to speak, so instead of sounding like a scratched record he just simply didn't talk. Remus didn't even look up at him, he frowned. Was this really how it was going to end?

"I'm sorry," Remus finally whispered, after what seemed like hours of silence. "I shouldn't have said anything." He didn't dare look up at the man who now was reaching for him. He could feel it, his mental pull for Remus to come to him. He was still to raw from the fight, if he went to him he might just go for another round.

"You had your right; I'm dragging you into my mess." Sirius' voice finally filled his ears after a few moments. "You have every right to tell me it's stupid."

"Your just trying to help him," Remus looked up and noticed the wrap around his knuckles, he didn't need to ask why. "What did you break." he'd sounded harsher then he had planned. "The mirror, I'm sorry." Sirius' tone was flat, he walked past Remus and walked into the kitchen, nether man spoke much after words.

Only long after dinner and when a few miles away Big Ben chimed eleven o'clock did the two even steps near one another. Neither was angry at the other anymore, just both were to raw to even think about touching one another.

Sirius crawled in bed first; he waited facing Remus until he climbed into bed and turned his back to Sirius. Sirius felt like his world was falling away and he was just floating out in the mist of no gravity.

"I love you," Sirius whispered putting his hand on Remus' shoulder. He waited what seemed like years before Remus answered him back. "I love you too."

Remus rolled over and looked at Sirius, let his eyes run over the toned man he had fallen madly in love with. And here he was, with what felt like losing him. Had their Hogwarts love finally boiled away, the past few weeks had seemed like hell. Constantly at each other and refusing to tell the other just what was wrong. Was this the end?

"Do you really love me?" Sirius finally asked the question Remus had been asking himself all day. Remus met Sirius before attempting to open his mouth only for Sirius to interrupt. "Because if your not…we need to talk about…this." He pointed to his mark, "I don't want to keep you where you no longer want to be."

"And why," Remus shook his head, trying to keep his temper under wraps. "Is it me who has to be the one who doesn't love you anymore? Hmm, you're the one who wants to run away." Sirius gave a heavy sigh.

"I signed up for this," he looked at Remus, "I made you mark me remember I set you up. You had no choice in this matter." Remus looked him over, "I chose this because I know I can't live without you, which is why I want you to come with me. I'd die without you Remus…"

Remus felt his throat tighten up as he moved closer to Sirius, eyes glittering with tears. "I still love you, more than anything Sirius. Just…I'm scared." he whispered nuzzling under the boys neck. "I just…I see so much that could go wrong…"

"We'll come up with something," Sirius whispered. "Maybe we can hide him somewhere in England…and we won't have to leave." he kissed the top of Remus' head. "Give me time…just…trust me."

"I always have," Remus sighed. He wouldn't fight him tonight, not about this. It could wait, they still had a month. Maybe something drastic would happen and the situation would handle itself. Hopefully whatever it was, it would be a good solution.

Remus woke up that morning to something heavy on his legs, he peaked a golden eye open and the first smell to hit his nose was French toast. He didn't quiet understand exactly why he was smelling French toast at six in the morning. But he wouldn't ever put doubt in his wolf nose. The next thing he smelled was breakfast tea and was that sausage?

He looked down at the heavy spot on his legs and his eyes went wide. Someone had very sweetly prepared him breakfast. He looked around the room to see no one in sight. Sirius had gotten up early, to make him breakfast? Remus felt a smile tug on his lips, there was a card on the corner of the tray. Gingerly he picked it up and chuckled,

_Morning handsome, _

_You were just sleeping to peaceful to wake up this morning. So instead I made you breakfast. I haven't made French toast in a while…I hope it's good. I'll be home late, well…usual time but you know what I mean. Boring paperwork today, I'll be thinking of you. I love you darling 3_

_~Sirius_

Remus sighed and smiled, well that was an unexpected surprise. And taking a bite into his freshly made breakfast he realized it was also a very sweet surprise. Once breakfast was done and upon walking into the kitchen, Remus was very shocked to see Sirius had even done his own dishes. A smile teased the corner of his lips; maybe things could go back to normal.

The day ticked by like it was running a race, by the time Remus walked back in the door at five in the evening he wasn't sure where all of the day had gone. It took him a few moments once he stepped in the door to realize this was still his flat.

The dining room table was bathed in candle light, and dinner sat there on white plates. He could hear the record player spark to life, his head turned and he was met with a very clean looking Sirius. His eyebrows raised as the man walked forward.

"Good evening love," Sirius smiled placing a soft kiss on Remus' forehead. "Welcome home." Remus couldn't breathe as Sirius' smell surrounded him, he could smell his soap as the man pulled him into his arms. And Sirius' raw smell engulfed him like a warm blanket. This was such a nice thing to come home too.

"Hello Sirius," Remus placed a kiss on Sirius' freshly shaven chin. "Hell even shaved for me, what did you do?"

"I forgot that I not only have a lover and a best friend. But I also have a partner, and lately I have forgotten I had all three due to my crazy mind. And I felt like I needed to remind him that I still love him with all my heart."

Remus felt a big smile slip on his lips, "how long have you been home?"

Sirius tilted his head back and looked at the clock on the wall, "three hours or so. I lost count." he chuckled, before holding out his arm, "Let me show you to your table."

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius wiggled his eyebrows but hooked his arm around his boyfriends and was gently lead to the table. Before Remus could even reach his hand out to pull the chair back it magically moved back and waited for him to sit before it tucked itself back under the table.

The napkin gently flew off the table and gently lay across Remus' legs. He chuckled shaking his head; leave it to Sirius to charm everything only to make it more fairytale like. "I think you need to screw up more often," he smiled.

"Well I was doing a pretty good job of behaving, I was bound to do it eventually," Sirius chuckled as he sat down tucking himself in under the table. "So how was your day?"

"Err…" Remus chuckled; he and Sirius had never had the odd experience of a first date. It never happened; they had known each other for years and knew everything about one another. The only 'weird' date they had had was the one time they went out to a gay bar and another guy hit on Remus. And it was only weird then because Sirius decked him across the bar. "Well I guess it was ok, started pretty good with breakfast." He couldn't help but chuckle as Sirius beamed ear to ear.

"I hope it was good," Sirius chuckled. Remus nodded "much like dinner." Sirius beamed again as the two continued through their meal. Small talk continued on between bites. And once dinner was finished dishes flew away from the table. And dessert filled the place where the plates had been. Remus' eyes grew wide as he looked down at the chocolate cake in front of him. He felt like he was drowning on the water the filled his mouth, only when Sirius' chuckle echoed in his ears did he look up at the man who stole his breath.

"I take it that was a damn good surprise."

"Did you make this?" Remus pointed to the cake that was sitting in front of him, his fingers itching to dig into it. "I did, from scratch. I haven't baked in a while…so don't get your hopes too high." Sirius gave a soft smile as he held Remus' gaze for a few more seconds before digging into his own piece of cake. Remus looked down and for a second almost thought about just shoving the whole piece in his mouth. It smelt so good, and the fact that Sirius had taken the time to make it by hand. He looked it over and smiled as he noticed all the little details.

It was icinged just right, and on the top were dark chocolate shaving. He smiled as he took a bite and groaned as it melted in his mouth. Sirius was a damn good sweet maker. James had sworn by it when they were in school.

It shocked many people to learn Sirius could cook, and he was very good at it and loved every second of it. It had even shocked Remus when he'd found out. But he wouldn't deny it was one of Sirius' sexiest qualities. "How long did all of this take you really…there is no way it's only been two hours."

"I said I thought I got home around three, could have been sooner or later. It really didn't take too long; I did have to rely on magic a little bit. Ya know running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Magic is sometimes the best thing around." Remus laughed and nodded.

When dessert was done and the dishes were charmed to magically clean themselves, Sirius and Remus retreated to their bedroom. On the way to the bedroom Remus turned around and noticed the radio was dead silent.

"I wasn't having a single interruption," Sirius whispered wrapping his arms around Remus and running soft kisses down his neck and meeting the spot where his shirt gave way to his shoulder and started to nibble on his shoulder. "Have I ever told you how damn good you taste? Let alone smell?"

"It's been a while," Remus teased as he groaned. "Maybe you should remind me." The wicked grin on his face was quickly changed as he squeaked once he found himself thrown over Sirius' shoulder. "I think I should."

Remus clung to Sirius' shoulder for dear life as the boy carried him off to the bed and gently laid him down before towering over him. The two shared soft kisses as clothing was slowly pulled off of each other. Tonight was a night meant for rekindling their romance, their love. And that was just what they were doing.

Remus let out a hiss as Sirius slowly ran his fingers over his chest, just barley digging his nails into Remus' tense skin. There were only a few good things about being a werewolf and heightened senses was one of those things. The nearly full moonlight was pouring through the window, covering Sirius in a white glow. Causing Remus to nearly lose his breath each time his vision cleared enough to see Sirius.

He gasped as he felt Sirius' mouth against his skin; he wondered how the boy's mouth didn't go dry from the heat that was pouring off of his rather needy body. Remus had lost count of how long it had been since Sirius had taken him to bed. And his body was aching for Sirius' touch.

His head was spinning as Sirius ran his fingers down over his aching member. "Ahhh, yes please" Remus begged his voice was so hoarse Sirius could barley understand and when he did his hand wrapped around the wolf's member so fast Remus cried out.

Remus clawed at the bed sheets when Sirius slid slowly inside of him, his body screamed out in delight as he felt Sirius fill him. He arched up making Sirius groan deep in his throat. Neither boy could breathe properly; their breathing was reduced to ragged and rough pants.

Despite the slow and gentle pace neither boy lasted long, it had been to long for both boys. Soon they were cuddled together in bed, holding onto one another like the other would fade in mere seconds. "If you ever," Remus started after he gained some energy back, "leave me needing you like that, for so long again I will kick your ass." He mumbled into Sirius neck as he nuzzled his neck.

Sirius's bark like laughter rumbled from his mouth as he pulled Remus closer, they had long since cleaned up and were now wrapped in their covers and just being with one another. Not much conversation took place as the two boys were much to tired to actually hold a decent conversation. But the two couldn't even dream about going to sleep just yet, they just couldn't let go of one another.

Eventually they both fell asleep. When they both woke up in the morning, tangled in one another. They knew nothing could tear them apart as long as they both had one another.


	25. Daddy Dearest

**Won't lie this chapter is NOT how I imagined it when I first thought up this idea...but eh I still kinda like it. *sighs* Why do all of my favorite charaters end up dying? Anyone ever have this happen to them?**

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><p>Sirius sighed as he walked inside one of the ministry's many elevators. He honestly hated these things, he always got the ones that ended up either full of people or when he got on were packed full. And despite his very well natured and almost bombproof personality tiny cramped places always made it hard for him to breath.<p>

But luck was on his side today as he stepped out of the elevator and onto the floor which held the Department of Mysteries. He gave himself a moment to take deep breath before walking forward. It was honestly a worthless hope that no one would be down this wing. It really was, as Sirius kept his head down he could still hear the whispers, 'what does Black's boy want? He's never down here? Look at what the cat's dragged in!'

His head honestly couldn't hang any lower as he reached his father's section. Head of Department of Mysteries, it was written in gold on the front door, and underneath the title was his father's poetic signature. It was one of the things Sirius had been jealous of since a child. His father always had beautiful penmanship, and it had for a long while been something Sirius tried to achieve, which he still hadn't mastered.

"You can't go in there," came a all to happy voice. Sirius gave a inward groan and rubbed his temples with his fingers. "I can go see my father when ever I want Hank," Sirius grumbled turning to face the blond man that was his fathers secretary.

"Aww look, it's the oldest disinherited boy coming to kiss his daddy's feet." His voice reminded him of Peeves, though Sirius would much rather be faced with Peeves any day over five minutes with Hank. The man had had it out for him since he was a child.

Hank was three years his senior, and all through school, Hank had been the only boy who dare crossed him. Hank had also been a Hufflepuff but of pure blood he always ruled the roost, or so he claimed. Typically Sirius would have just hexed him back into his mothers womb. But today he didn't even feel like dealing with him.

"Is he in?"

"When is your alcoholic father not at work, then again who could blame him with kids like his and a wife like his." Hank chuckled, he was doing his best to rile Sirius up today. And he just might do it. "How about you keep your tongue tied, my father could have you fired and replaced before you ass even got out of your seat." Sirius barked, clenching his jaw.

"I want to see your dad try,"

"Is that a challange." Orion Black's loud voice echoed off the white walls of the Department, causing Hank to lose color in his face, "because if it is, dear boy I can easily make good on it. Your father might not be pleased but Jacob will get over his son's stupidity. And next time you bad mouth me you'll be licking my shoes." Orion gave Sirius a nod to come inside. "Get out of my sight Westwood, before I make it permanent."

Sirius couldn't have picked a day were his father was in a good mood, could he? So much for his good luck…

"Yes sir!" was the last thing Sirius heard Hank say before his father's office door sealed shut. "Now tell me Sirius, what do I owe the pleasure of you coming to visit me?" Orion sat down in his large chair, a fire was slowly dwindling behind him in a marble fireplace. The walls were colored green, which shouldn't surprise Sirius. The office had held most of the Black family, and all but he had been in Slytherin.

"Well…I just wanted to come see you," Sirius stood till his father waved his wand pointing to a empty chair. Only then did Sirius sit, he could see it written on his father's face he was neither in a good mood or even in a well rested mood. "Sirius, I won't tolerate lies." Orion's eyes which normally when Sirius was around held light, now were stone cold. Sirius wondered just what had happened this morning for his father to be so cold.

His father had changed so much since Sirius had last seen him, his eyes seemed so dull. His voice was rough most likely from the alcohol he was drinking. It was no secret Orion Black was a drinker, typically though it had no bad effects on his behavior so it wasn't much of a issue. But it sounded much rougher than normal, probably due to stress he drank more.

"Are you even sober?" Sirius blurted out before he could even attempt to stop himself. Orion gave him a look before chuckling, "yes son I am." Orion leaned forward, "now tell me why are you here? It's not very often you travel down here. It's not like you take a great pleasure walking down here."

"A son can't come see his father?"

"Sirius you and I know very well you'd rather I come to you. For the simple fact…well we know the situation." Sirius nodded, "So tell me the truth."

Sirius was going behind his brother's back. It was in the middle of August, they had a week before they went to the states. And Sirius couldn't bare to leave his father without knowing. "I've heard…rumors." Orion's face instantly morphed weither it was interest or not Sirius wasn't sure. "Go on," Orion leaned back in his chair and looked his son over. Sirius didn't like the look.

"Well…" how exactly did one tell their father that the darkest wizard of the twentieth century wanted them dead?

"Well what?"

"Voldemort wants you dead…" Sirius spit it out like it was a fireball, and instantly felt regret as he watched his father's face shift into one that was made of stone. Before he quickly began to laugh, Sirius didn't know which one made him feel worse, the stone face or his father's loud laughter. "I'M SERIOUS!"

"I know you are," his father laughed even harder holding his stomach. There were times in Sirius' life were he really hated his name. "I mean I know your serious about him wanting me dead." Orion chuckled as he wiped his eyes. "I've known for…what four months now? I know what he wants too." Sirius starred at him wide eyed. "Sirius, son do you honestly think I wouldn't know?"

"And…your ok with it?"

"Only a fool would be ok with Voldemort on your heels, then again if he kills me…what am I gonna do about it." Orion took to his feet and walked over to a few photo's on the wall. "Your Grandfather would have slapped my silly if he knew what his son thought about the whole Pureblood thing now." Sirius couldn't help but chuckle, causing Orion to turn from his place.

"About time," Sirius chuckled leaning back in his chair. "How long have I been telling you, it's a load of bullshit."

"Sirius," Orion sighed and shook his head. "Yes, yes rub it in, go ahead. I know you need to get it out of your system." And it was like opening a flood gate of laughter, and I told you so's. Honestly it was rather childish, but Sirius couldn't hold it in. "Are you finished?" Sirius nodded grinning ear to ear.

"Where did you learn about Voldemort's plans for me, by the way." Orion sat back down looking Sirius over. "I can honestly tell you I probably won't believe you when you tell me, but go for it."

"Regulus told me," Sirius gave his honest answer, causing his father's eyes to turn as big as saucers. "Your kidding," Orion's voice cracked, that only meant trouble. Sirius shook his head, this was going to be awkward.

Indeed it was for a few cold minutes to two Black's sat in silence, neither saying a word. Until eventually Orion cleared his throat. "That um…why did he tell you?"

"He knows who has to kill you," Sirius sighed. This was the part he knew his father wouldn't be able to hear, which became his signal to leave. "Look Dad…I really just came down to-"

"Sit." it was a command. Sirius without hesitation sat back down, his father was not a man to anger. Only stupid fools crossed Orion Black, and typically they didn't live to tell the tale.

"Father, I can'-"

"Who Sirius, don't give me this confidential brother bullshit, you two are not four anymore." Orion was leaning forward, the aura of the room had changed from a friendly chat, well as friendly as you can be when talking about your father's plotted demise. To a dark and secretive chat. With a flick of his wand Sirius heard the bolt on the door click, along with a few other locks around the room click shut. And with another wave Sirius felt the familiar tightness of a silencing charm.

"Sirius, tell me." Sirius shook his head, his father didn't need to hear it was Regulus who needed to kill him. "Please." Sirius sighed, there was no way he was beating his father. He felt his resolve crumble at his feet, and with a few failed attempts at trying to get his words out he stopped and took a deep breath.

"Dad…it's…it's," There was a knock at the door and Sirius sighed a deep breath of relief. "I'M BUSY!" Orion's booming voice echoed throughout the tiny room. The knocking then cested and desisted and Orion turned his attention back to Sirius. Well at least Sirius thought that he was out of the clear. Orion quirked an eyebrow, Sirius took his cue to continue.

"It's Regulus…" Sirius felt his whole chest cave in. Could hear his heart near explode. But what really took the life from his body was his father's blank stare as he leaned back in his chair. Sirius could only imagine the things running around in his head. His son, his baby was the one who had to carry the heavy job of killing his father.

"My Regulus," his father whispered, his voice so distant and empty. Sirius felt his whole body shake with fear, he was waiting for his father to explode. But it never came instead Orion hung his head, hiding it with his hands and shuttered.

The dog inside of Sirius began to whine, his father was in the dog's eyes still his master. And no dog Sirius had ever come in contact with ever liked for their masters to be upset. Sirius walked over and wrapped his arms around his father's broad shoulders and rested his head on his shoulder. "Shhh dad," Sirius tried to comfort him. But really there was nothing he could do. Orion for all of Regulus' life had fought for him, in silence he had begged Walburga to leave him out of the death eaters to stop force feeding it down his throat before he just did it to shut her up.

And Regulus did eventually do just that. And now it was Orion who was going to pay the price.

After a while Orion breathed normally and raised his head, Sirius knew the look that was given to him and he turned to the cabinet behind him pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey and a shot glass and handed it to his father.

After he took a few drinks he sat the bottle down and starred ahead, the light in his father's grey eyes had died. "Sirius…" he started but his mind was too far away.

"Yea?" Sirius looked at him, his heart was breaking. He couldn't take seeing the once proud and strong Orion Black crumble like a cracker. Nothing in Sirius' whole life had made his father ever seen like a weak man, but then again to what child does their father ever seem weak? "Is there anything you can do?"

"Remus and I are going to attempt to hide him."

"Good…good boy," Orion's distance started to fade as he looked at Sirius. "Keep his safe…for me."

"Don't I always?" Sirius smiled and rubbed his father's back. He watched as his father closed his eyes and breathed. "Sirius…I'm sorry."

"Don't, your not dying I'll see you for forever because you don't have the guts to really die on me." Sirius chuckled. He felt his father grab his hand and squeeze. Sirius gave him a smile. He should expect his father to scare him after learning what he did. But it didn't help that this scaring wasn't screaming and shouting. It was fear and pain.

"I love you, you know that right."

"Most of the time," Sirius chuckled. "And I you?"

"It's been hard to remember the past few years, but I do know." Orion smiled nodding his head on a drawing that still lingered on his desk. Sirius shook his head laughing. It had been a picture of the family Sirius had drawn when he was around four. It was a normal thing for a child to do. Other than Walburga was a bat and was fluttering constantly around their heads screeching.

"Ya know, she wanted to throw that drawing away when she saw it."

"Only because she's a bat" Sirius laughed, picking the drawing up. "I can even remember drawing that. Reg scribbled in the grass and sky." Sirius gave a bittersweet smile. Orion sighed the same smile on his face. "Yea…once you two were as thick as thieves."

"It'll be that way again. Let me get him away from here. You'll see."

"Keep him safe." Orion whispered his voice was heavy. "You don't know how bad this war is going to get." Sirius nodded. "When do you three leave?"

"End of August, I promised him that much time. No idea why he wanted it but I guess he did." Orion nodded, "too much like me." He chuckled, "I wouldn't want to run off on the spot either."

It was soon after Sirius slipped from his father's office and headed back to his own department, though deep down inside he didn't have any good feelings. Something was wrong in the world, he just didn't know what. Despite warning his father, and letting him know that he was going to hide his brother. Something was a eschew, something was going to go very wrong.


	26. Nightmares

**This is the chapter I have dreaded since I began this fanfic...this and the two which are to follow.**

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><p><em>He didn't know where he was, it was cold and wet. He could hear the water as he rushed around him. It took a little while to understand he was inside a old boat. He soon understood he was out to sea just by the roughness of the waves. Where out on the sea he didn't know, or did he understand why he was there.<em>

_Wasn't he just in his bed? Hadn't he just fallen asleep? He couldn't even remember who he was, only that whatever he was doing was important. Soon he was off of the boat and with a pain throbbing through his hand he turned to see a opening._

_He somehow managed to slip back into the boat and kept sailing forward, he could feel his fear. But didn't understand just why. It was a unsettling feeling._

_Soon the room was filled with a eerie green glow, coming from a small rock island in the middle of a large gave, with a great stone basin on the top. Something caused his body to shiver, and it wasn't the cold._

_Stepping upon the little stone island was simple enough but when faced with the basin it seemed a harder thing to do. He could feel that this was going to seal his fate. It was when he heard another voice to his left that he turned to look, he couldn't make out the figure but someone was with him. Holding out a glass, instantly the connection was made. He was drinking whatever was in the basin._

_Pain and agony filled him with just the first swallow, and after the sixth or seventh swallow he started to hear more voices, he couldn't make out what they were saying. But whatever it was, was painful to hear. He could feel tears sting his eyes and the potion he was drinking ate up his pain like wildfire. Nothing could sooth the agony eating away at his insides._

_Both heart and body were in too much pain to fight as the last few swallows were forced down his throat. It was too much pain to swallow but without a choice they went down with ease. And once the voice that had been with him before the potion had been taken reached in and then filled the basin back up he turned back to him._

_He couldn't make out the form much better than he could before, but he could tell it was short and pale. He reached out, said something inaudible and then crawled forward to the lake, reaching forward into the water. He could feel acceptance rush over him as one of many pale hands reached out from the water and started to pull._

_He could hear the voice scream his name, before he shouted to the voice. He heard a pop before the water rushed through his ears._

"NO!" Sirius jerked away in his bed drenched in a cold sweat and panting his lungs out. Hands around his throat he started to cough and shake.

The lights flew on and he felt Remus' warmth wrap around him, he couldn't hear his voice. He could still hear the water fill his ears, he could hear himself thrash around in the water, trying to fight the pale hands that still reached for him. He still shook from head to toe, the cold still eating at his bones. He continued to cough, despite not really having water in his lungs.

"Sirius, shhh it's ok!" Remus cried holding Sirius as tight against him as he could, the boy just couldn't stop. Fear was eating away at Remus' body like acid. He didn't understand, Sirius was never for nightmares and when he had them all it took was someone to hold him and he'd be ok. And here he was, it almost seemed like he was still stuck inside the dream.

Eventually after a long while of rocking and shhing Sirius finally calmed down and came back the normal world. He clung to Remus as if he let go he'd be right back where he was, drowning. Away from everyone he ever loved. Sirius was never really afraid of death, but right now he was the most scared he'd ever been in his life. What had he just seen?

The two boys leaped when there was a loud bang at the window in the living room. Neither boy dared to move both of them starring at one another until Remus got the guts enough to get up and walk out into the living room. But he didn't even a inch out of the bed before he felt Sirius' hand intertwined in his.

Apparently he wasn't leaving without the other man. And quietly the two walked into the living room and with a flick of Remus' wand the lights filled the room. Only when the lights filled the room and the two realized what had made such racket did Sirius let go.

Fear filled Sirius more than it had in the dream as he walked forward, it was his father's owl perching on the window sill. It was three in the morning and if his father ever wrote him, it was never a good thing. And this late at night…dread and fear filled him.

The owl fluttered in, eyes searching the whole room before holding out his leg to Sirius. The large black owl then waited for the boy to read,

_Dear Sirius,_

_It's nearly the end of August, and I know what you have planned. But…I must warn you your brother went missing late last night. Your mother and I thought that maybe it was a mission, but…I'm not so sure. I just woke up from a nightmare, and I just…you know how we Black's are internally linked. I think something's wrong._

_I'll keep my eyes on the tree, you know how this works. One week…_

_I love you son, keep safe._

_~Your father_

Sirius read the note over and over his heart hammering in his chest, his hands were shaking like he was in the middle of a earthquake. His whole body began to tremble with a terrible force. His body didn't stop when Remus pulled the letter from his hand. "What does he mean a week?"

Sirius looked at the floor, trying to compose himself enough to speak, his body shook with such a force he didn't know if it was from a lack of sugar running in his body or if he really was that scared.

"He…I…" Sirius tried to start realizing he was much like a tire spinning in mud, making a bunch of noise but not really getting anywhere. He stumbled over to the couch and put his head in his hands. Is that what it was, a linked nightmare? Was he…no…Regulus would be ok.

"Sirius? It seems your father had a nightmare too…do you think-"

"No, Reg is fine, probably just on a late mission. Give him time he'll be ok." Remus sat down beside him and rubbed his back, he wouldn't deny Sirius the little bit of comfort a lie gave him right now. Then again who was he to judge maybe he was just on a mission. Remus rested his head on Sirius' shoulder and took a deep breath, "Wanna explain what he means by one week?"

"Get me a piece of parchment, let me answer him back. Then I'll tell you." once his request was met with a shaky hand he dipped his quill in the ink and began to write.

_Dad,_

_I had a nightmare as well, I won't even ask what yours was about. I'm too scared to know if it's the same. But I'm sure he'll be fine, you know Reg. He's always up to some sort of danger. Just keep the light on for him, like I know your already doing. I'll write you if he comes here first. Don't worry I'll be safe, and I love you too._

_~Sirius_

Sirius wrapped up the piece of parchment and attached it to his father's owls leg and sent the bird away. His eyes were glazed over from unshed tears. He would not cry for a man who was still alive, there was no way Reg was dead. No way, not when they were so close to getting away.

"Sirius?"

"Hold on Rem…I just…need to breathe."

"Anything I can do?"

"Come here, hold me." Sirius' voice was still lined with fear as he spoke, arms wrapped himself quite like a shield before Remus came over and held in him the same embrace. "What my father meant by a week was the tree will know in a week."

"What do you mean?"

"The tree," Sirius chuckled, "the family tree, ya know the one in the drawing room?" REmus nodded, he'd been inside of Grimmauld place once. It was during their first year summer when Walburga wasn't home. And Sirius had showed him the large tree, of course it was hard to remember but he got the idea. "Well, when a Black is born they prick our finger and press a bit of our blood onto the tree, so they know we are…how does one put this inherited Black's. I mean of course it updates if a Black has a child, since their blood before them was on the tree. But it won't follow a child if their blood isn't put on the tree. And yes, stop giving me that look it's blood magic, which yes means it's dark magic." Remus nodded his head as he rubbed Sirius' back. "And…it takes it a week to notice a change, either in life or death. Marriage or whatever the case my be. Which is why when your disinherited your blown off the tree. Not because it's a disgrace but when you get disinherited no one wants to know what your up to or what happens to you. So…the way for the tree to know to forget you is well to…remove you."

"Sounds quite harsh." Remus sighed, "Sooo in a week, we'll know…"

"If it doesn't update in a week and Reg still hasn't shown head or hide my father will keep his eye on the tree till either he shows up…or well…you know." Sirius gulped as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"He'll be fine honey," Remus whispered before nuzzling his neck. "Come on, let's try and get some more sleep. You still have to work tomorrow." Sirius nodded and the two headed back to bed, though Sirius knew very well he wasn't getting anymore sleep that night.


	27. Exposed

**Well…this was about the saddest thing I have ever written…I cried during writing this. So it probably isn't the best. But I guess that's the point. It's meant to be a little sloppy to follow up the thought process of Sirius I guess. Hopefully it's understandable, I have one more sad chapter for Reg, I think. Then we should have a little bit of happy.**

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><p>Sirius was reclined back in his office chair as he tossed a parchment ball over the divider of his wall smacking James in the back of the head with it. The eldest Black chuckled as James gave him a half hearted glare.<p>

"Oh Prongs, come on, cheer up. I need something to do. Raids have been so quiet; you'd think they were planning something." Sirius chuckled; he was ignoring the inner voice in his head. The one that told him he shouldn't be wishing such things, knowing his father's shadows.

"Padfoot…you have paperwork, is it even halfway done?" James chuckled stretching as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Err…pretty close to being done. I take most of it home and do it when Remus is reading." James chuckled as he rolled his eyes, "you two are too cute."

"Who's cute," Sirius tilted his head back looking at the brunette behind him; her wide smile reached her light brown eyes. "Nothing Cecile, just Potter teasing me."

"About your boyfriend," the girl chuckled as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "come on Black, you don't think you could hide it from all of us forever?"

"Who all knows?" Sirius straightened up spinning his chair around and looking at her, ignoring James' loud cackle of laughter. "Most of our squad, you don't do well hiding it some of the days walking in here like you've done nothing but ride for twenty four hours straight."

"Sometimes that's EXACTLY what he's doing," James howled behind the divider, another ball of parchment magically found its way stuffed inside of James' mouth. "Shut it Potter." Sirius growled before looking Cecile over, "Well at least it doesn't bother any of you."

"Well…" the girl chuckled, "It did at first, but when your back was turned if anything was said, James is a damn good defense."

"Aww," Sirius turned around and gave James a wide grin. "No one fucks with my brother unless their name is Remus," James chuckled giving Sirius a smile. "Besides there is no reason for them to hate on you, how many of them have you saved?"

"And likewise for me to them," Sirius chuckled, patting his leg for Cecile to sit down, and she did with a wide grin. "Despite dating a man I am still a very manly man. I think I swing for both teams," he chuckled running his fingers through her long dark hair.

"Alright Mr. Flirt, what did you do?" her eyes met his silver ones causing the boy to chuckle. "What me? I didn't-" he was cut short by the loud pop in the Auror's kitchen. "BLACK!"

"Oh…you mean that?" Sirius laughed, James was covering his mouth trying not to laugh. "SORRY MARK! I heard you liked being blown away! I just couldn't resist!" The office quickly turned into fits of giggles as the man walked out of the office covered in what seemed like flour.

"I can't believe you, that's horrible." Cecile giggled from his lap, "Poor Mark…you always pick on him."

"It's cute when he's frustrated," Sirius mocked her tone before giggling behind his hand causing the girl to smack his thigh. "Be nice to me and my girly giggle. I am allowed to have one."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he rested his head on her shoulder. "Can you believe her James, practically making fun of me to my face?" he had a wicked grin on his face. If Cecile knew any better she might have wanted to run far away. "Terrible treason there, she might want to scatter." James chuckled. Cecile looked between the two boys and slowly started to get up, "Err…I'll see you guys around…" she went to leave as Sirius grabbed her by her wrist and pulled her back to him, and positioned his hands as he was about to tickle her.

"BLACK! POTTER! JONES!" the three of them snapped their heads up, "training let's go!" The captain shouted at them from the door to the side as the group before them slowly walked out of the room, most of them looking rather ragged for wear. "Well," James grinned, "it seems were in for some training."

"YAY!" Sirius cheered as Cecile got up and the three walked towards the door the rest of them team was already inside waiting.

In the middle of the large duel Sirius was crouched behind a wall of rubble, gathering his wits and breath as he went to poke his head back out to get back into the mists of battle when the whole room vanished turning back into a completely white room. The team of seven all looked around confused, why had they stopped, they still had thirty minutes on the clock.

"Sirius," the call was quite, it was enough to cause Sirius to want to retreat. "Yes sir?" Sirius looked up towards the intercom. "Can you come out; I have a letter for you." Six pairs of eyes met his, before Sirius turned and walked out. Sirius' instincts told him to flee, to run far away. But Sirius was no coward.

Walking into the captain's office was a numbing experience, the whole group was all very good friends so he'd been in there many times, but when he looked over at his captain he knew something was wrong. Not only that but Hank was standing at his side. Sirius' insides turned to ice. "No," he backed up.

Hank handed him the letter, "I'm sorry."

Sirius with a shaky hand took the letter gently from the boy's hand and without saying anything, went to find a quiet place to read. He slinked away like an injured animal waiting to die. He snuck into one of the cot rooms, which were only used on nights when raids were out of control. Slinking to the farthest and darkest corner he slowly opened the letter,

_Sirius,_

_I don't know what to write, other than it's been a week. I woke up this morning, checked it and…Reg's gone. It's there clear as day. I just…I'm sorry son. _

_~Your Father_

Sirius didn't know how a few lines could tear down all of his walls. How it could cause him to cry out in pain then curl up in a ball and sob until he couldn't breathe. His body ached as he gasped for air between cries. Memories flooding his mind, he couldn't breath.

His life had been so peaceful for a week; he should have realized that it was over. That the shadows were going to one day catch up to his heels and take everyone down he cared about. Isn't that was Remus had once predicted in Divinations in third year? Didn't he for weeks after have nightmares about everything?

His body shook as he imagined his brother laying out there somewhere alone and cold. Had someone killed him? Did Voldemort do it himself? Slay him where he stood because Regulus had finally decided to stand up? Was it all of his fault?

Sirius let out another cry before another wave of tears hit him. He was afraid he'd drown in his tears as he cried out. Not his baby brother! Not the boy who he'd stood side by side with for over seventeen years! Not Regulus anyone but Reg…

Eventually Sirius grew quiet, his body numb. If his father got a date…did that mean he didn't have a body? Sirius hiccupped as he wrapped his arms around himself. Was Regulus' body no where to be found? He felt a lump grow in his throat. Would his father have to bury an empty coffin?

Sirius didn't hear the knock, didn't hear the footsteps. But when a hand reached out to touch him his wand was the first thing that moved. Only when he looked up did he realize a wide eyed James was looking back at him. "Sirius?" His wand was lowered as Sirius looked away. "Shh," James' soft voice entered his ears before he was pulled into his friend's warm grasp. "You're the only brother I have left…" Sirius' voice cracked and fizzed with each word and breath. He felt James' head sit on top of his as he held him tighter. "We were gonna run off you know, hide him…" James felt his shirt started to form puddles, "Go home Pads, go home and hide."

"From what? He's dead. What can I do?"

"You can grieve; your brother wouldn't want you to bottle this up."

"As an older sibling it's our job to be strong and only to crumble when were alone." Sirius pulled away from James and stood up trying his best to breath easy. His hands still shook and he was completely unstable. But it was how an older sibling had to act. Strong and in control, despite how Sirius was inside he would put on the perfect mask until he was home and alone.

"Padfoot…"

"Come on, we have training to finish." Sirius stumbled to the door. James gave a heavy sigh as followed behind him.

Much to Sirius' displeasure he was sent him, and given a few days off to grieve. Instead of walking home he apparated, not really caring if his empty mind got him splinched. He didn't really care about anything at the moment. All he wanted was a strong drink and his father; he wanted to be six again. He wanted his brother back; he wanted to be home and a child to be safe in his father's arms.

Sirius never hated his mother more than he did at that moment. This was all of her fault, the fact he couldn't have the comfort he desperately needed. The fact his brother was now dead, because she shoved her purebloodist bullshit down his throat. The fact that right now when his father needed him most he couldn't go to him because Sirius believed different.

When Remus came into view Sirius didn't speak, Remus' words didn't enter his ears as he walked to the kitchen. He ignored the blonde's shouts as he grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey and downed half of the bottle. "SIRIUS!" Sirius finally gave him a passing glance.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"Regulus is dead," he pushed past Remus, "And I am going to drink till I pass out cold. SO if you have a problem with it I suggest you let me know so I can go somewhere else and drink till it kills me."

Sirius looked at Remus; his eyes were wide and confused. "Wha…when…how?"

"When dad wrote me apparently, fucking stupid idiot killed himself!" Sirius was sealing off his pain, it was what he had done all of his life. Anything that hurt he turned it into anger which then he used to do whatever he needed. "Don't be that way!" Remus snapped, "it's obvious it hurts you so don't pull that mask on me Sirius Black."

"Don't tell me how to grieve Lupin!" Sirius snapped taking another heavy swig. "I will do whatever I damn well please so go fuck yourself." Another heavy swig and Sirius found himself flopping down on the couch. Remus just starred at him before storming off to his office, if he wanted to drink himself stupid he didn't care.

Remus quickly changed his mind when the smell of smoke filled the flat. "Na uh, I will not have that." Remus walked over jerking the cigarette out of his mouth. "Where the hell did you get these anyway!" Remus put it out before taking the pack from his hand. "I though you quit."

"Did, now I smoke again. Give 'em back."

"Nope, your drunk you'll torch the flat down." Remus threw them away before taking the bottle from Sirius, knowing it was already much too drunk to fight. It was a simple tug and Sirius' hand. "Now," Remus sat down beside of him and pulled Sirius against him. "Wanna talk about it?"

"He's gone Remy…I failed him…like I always do." Sirius nuzzled his neck clinging to Remus almost too tightly. "You didn't fail him…" Remus whispered despite the ache in his ribs from the grip Sirius had on him. "He knew you were willing to give up everything to keep him safe…just…things didn't work."

"They never do…I was a terrible brother…" Sirius rested his head on his shoulder. "I can't even go to his wake…and his burial is off limits…"

"Sirius, you can go to both. Your family can fuck themselves." Remus lifted his head up, "besides…if you don't want to go as you. You always have another way to go." Sirius' eyebrows knitted together in confusion "Go as Padfoot." It was like a million light bulbs went off in Sirius' head and Remus gave him a small smile.

"OF COURSE!" Sirius grinned, "I could do…no…" Sirius shook his head. "I won't cause a scene at his funeral, I'll just wait I guess."

"Just stand far away. No one will mess with a big black dog."

"We always wanted a dog," Sirius' mind was so far away, Remus could hear it in his voice. "Reg would have loved to see me as a dog…would have made all of his childhood dreams come true. He wanted nothing more than a dog. He used to ask for one every year for his birthday until he was like seven. Mom finally had had enough of it and told him it'd never happened. He cried himself to sleep in my bed that night." Sirius had tears trickling down his face; his eyes were hazed over from looking back at the memories that flooded his mind. "It was just another night of being a big brother, I just pulled my covers away so he could come and snuggle in bed. Hid him in my arms and covers until he cried himself to sleep."

Remus felt a lump in his throat as he listened to Sirius tell stories, tears streaming down both of their faces. Despite not knowing him well Remus could almost picture a young Regulus Black tearing through Grimmauld place chasing after Sirius with a stick pretending to fight off bad guys.

Or even prancing around in their father's robes pretending to be Merlin, reenacting stories they were told before bed. Maybe even a fight over a toy only to end up wrapped in a hug once the other started to cry. Remus felt his heart shatter as Sirius cried out it seemed too much for him to realize that it was all over.

"It's not fair Rem," Sirius whispered as he stopped crying, "It's just not fair…he was so young." Remus nuzzled his hair, "we were so close, right there…we were leaving tomorrow. We had a week left…one week!" Remus rubbed his back as Sirius started to cry again.

Sirius clung to Remus as he cried, he didn't know how long that he sat there staining Remus' shirt with his tears as he cried for his brother. Maybe he should have gone to see him, his mother be damned, he should have gone to him. Should have told him one last time he loved him, right now all he wanted to do was hear his brother laugh, see him smile.

He choked over another sob as it bubbled up, did his brother cry out as he cried? Did he even know it was coming, did he suffer? Oh Merlin he hoped he didn't suffer. He cried harder at the idea of his baby brother having to suffer through the pain of death instead of it being a simple blast and be over. He wondered if he was locked up and forced to suffer before he was offed.

Did an Auror kill him? What about an order member? No…if it had been either of the two they'd have a body…it was definitely one of Regulus' own. Hatred raced through Sirius like fire as he thought of the idea of his cousin being the one to kill him. His body shook with anger; it'd be easy for her. She'd do anything Voldemort asked, she'd easily slaughter Regulus. He shook his head, he hoped Regulus didn't know. That he just turned his back and it was over.

But…with no body, he doubted it was that simple. "He was never afraid," Sirius gave a soft chuckle. "Of anything, he was probably the bravest kid I knew. Even I had my limits but Reg…he was limitless, he was fearless…" His mind drifted away as more memories flooded his mind. He could remember the time they were around five and they both were leaping off steps, and Sirius couldn't go higher than seven. Reg got to nine before he fell down the stairs unable to make the jump. When their mother caught them she of course thought Sirius had shoved him down the stairs.

A lashing and no dinner was his punishment that night, and after dinner he heard his door slowly slink open and in came a four year old Regulus with a napkin wrapped up. "Kwcher saved some," and he had smiled holding it out. Sirius knew very well it had been Regulus who had asked him too. Regulus never once let him go hungry when he was punished.

Sirius felt something rub against his knuckles bringing him back to his senses; he looked down at the crystal glass in Remus' hand. It was full of firewhiskey. "To Regulus," he smiled. He looked at Remus who had his own glass. Sirius gave him a weak smile. "To Regulus," with a clinking of their glasses the two drank.

It didn't seem fitting but Sirius still drank to him, what seemed fitting was revenge. And Sirius would have revenge. That was a promise.


	28. Goodbye

**And this is the end of the sadness that is Reg's death.**

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><p>When one thought of death they thought of cold and dark days. Typically rain was in the mix somewhere, whether it be just a down pour or a loud thunderstorm. Some even thought of snow, but not today. The sun was out and despite it being September 2nd it was an unnatural warm day. Sirius stood out by the black iron gate that guarded the wizard cemetery. His hands still shook, Remus had told him to go, despite him not wanting too. Not with the rest of the family soon to be arriving.<p>

Pushing the heavy gate aside he slowly walked in, breathing in the flower filled scent that consumed the cemetery. There was no option of being a human today, at least not while everyone was around. It would only start a fight, and as he slipped between two large mausoleums he slipped into a coat of black fur.

He looked at all the tombstones as he walked up the gravel path, as it crunched underneath his paws, so many of them were old, but an alarming rate was new. Sirius bit back the growl that dared to come up from his lips. This was a place of peace, final resting. He didn't dare bring his anger into such a peaceful place. Despite Sirius' fear of graveyards they were still a very relaxing place.

When he stepped into the grass of the graveyard he began to pay very close attention to where head or footstones were. Sirius even as a child had been rather respectful of peoples final resting places, maybe it had been his father instilling it in him, to be kind to those who had passed away. To avoid stepping on their finally resting plots, it wasn't like they could move aside.

Burial was just one of the few things wizards did that were much like their Muggle counterparts. There was always a wake, a casket, a plot, a marker and a funeral. Things were done differently sometimes, but still the idea was the same. Sirius sat up high on a hill so he could look down. Even now he was in his family's spot. Though these were much older stones, family he didn't know nor needed to know. Though far down there underneath the tent was a fresh hole, the hole were an empty coffin would be laid to rest, and it would attempt to bring closure to a grieving family.

None of the family was around, only the empty casket. Sirius gave a quiet breath before he slipped down the hill. He had his own trinkets to slip inside of the coffin before it was sealed shut and the memory of Regulus Arcturus Black was laid to rest.

It was a normal wizarding ritual that if someone passed away and there was no body to be found one would simply just fill the coffin with photos and trinkets to lay them to rest.

When he reached the black casket he almost turned tail and ran. But he held his own with a deep breath of courage he slipped back into his human form. He opened up the top, and looked at the things littered inside. Regulus would be the third empty casket to date. Hopefully he would be the last. Looking at the photos, letters and other trinkets that littered the silk lining of the coffin, Sirius wiped his eyes. This would be all that remained of his baby brother.

He looked at the black frame in his hand and smiled at the picture. It had been one of his few photos that he had taken when he ran away from home. He smiled at it as he ran his fingers over the glass. It was a simple photo; their father had probably taken it. They were in his office just sitting in his armchairs in the room playing a game of wizarding chess. Regulus had a very serious look on his face as he inaudibly instructed his piece to move, his voice echoed in Sirius' ears as the memory played over. He watched the photo as Reg's knight sliced one of Sirius' pawns in half. Sirius gave a soft chuckle. That was how he wanted to remember his brother, smart, sweet, innocent and alive.

He swallowed the tears that bubbled up and quickly laid the photo in the coffin before he decided against it. He looked at all the little knick knacks in the coffin, inside were more pictures a few toys from his childhood and Reg's Slytherin ring. Sirius scoffed though the temptation to snatch it was high he shook his head. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a hand written note and put it in side of the frame.

The message was simple,

_Reggie,_

_I'm sorry I failed you…I should have been there when you needed me most. Love you bro, see you on the other side._

_~Sirius_

He didn't care if anyone saw it, with a flick of his wand a permanent sticking charm was placed on the photo. There was no way anyone would be able to remove it now. His dog like instincts focused in on sounds coming up the hill. He could tell the sounds were his family, his father and mother leading the crowd. Slipping forms he dashed back up the hill and held his spot. Watching over the family that had disowned him, morn the last Black son they had.

He could hear the priest speak, he could hear the cries of those who mourned though Sirius half expected it to be fake. His eyes scanned the crowd, how many of them were death eaters? How many might have been in charge of his death? Who among the crowd had blood on their hands, his brother's blood?

When the casket started to shift and slowly sink into the hole he could hear his mother's wail and for once in Sirius' life he might have actually believed that was grief from the woman. He held in the urge to throw back his head and let out a howl of pain himself. He laid down next to what he guessed would be his great, great, great, great grandfather's tombstone and watched as slowly the crowd threw white carnations onto Reg's casket before slowly dirt started to cover it.

It was then he could no longer hold in the howl as it slipped past his lips. Full of pain and heartache he sat up and threw his head back. Pinning his ears back he howled. He gave one last song for his brother as the last bit of dirt covered the grave. No one paid much attention to the black dog that howled in the grave yard. Magical people were very used to hell hounds creeping around grave yards and were well known to howl when a magical person was taken from the world.

When his black head lowered he caught wind of his father. His back was turned to the grave as it filled. Sirius rose up and walked over to him, doing his best to look friendly. Most magical people tended to cast the black dog aside.

Orion gave a heavy sigh as he placed his hand on his father's grave stone. "Dad…I just…" he stopped when he felt Sirius lick his fingers, "come to give me a warning, eh?" Orion knelt down and rubbed the dog between the ears. "Yes…I know my time is coming, youngest one is gonna put me in the ground." Sirius gave a heavy whine and licked Orion's fingers again. "Shh now, don't be upset it's not your fault." he chuckled. "You're a sweet pooch I'll give you that," Orion gave a longing gaze at the fresh mound of dirt onto of the hole where his son's empty casket was. "Do me a favor will ya?"

Sirius gave him a look. All his father needed to do was ask. "Watch that spot for me, he's my baby ya know…he's not really there. But…I don't want anything happening to it." Sirius gave a firm nod; even as a dog he could understand the importance easily. "ORION!" Walburga shouted down by the gate. "blasted woman," Orion hissed he turned gave his own father's gravestone one last glace as well as his mothers then to the dog then turned to walk away. "Oh and Sirius," Orion chuckled. "I'll pretend I didn't know you were illegal."

Sirius starred at him with wide silver eyes, "I saw what you put in the casket, and seeing you as a black dog only explains why there was dog fur in your room. Clever boy, I'm proud." With that Orion continued to walk leaving Sirius sitting next to his grandmother and grandfather's stone's gob smacked his father knew.

Giving the fresh plot of dirt one last look, Sirius turned his own heel and trotted off. He'd come back, when they had re-laid grass down on top of it. That's when he'd say his final goodbye.

Thunder roared over head, it'd been a week since Regulus had been laid to rest. It was pouring the rain as he walked up the cobble stoned path. He carried a hand full of white carnations as he slowly walked up. Remus was waiting back at home; he had waited all day to come up to the cemetery. He didn't really want to come up in the rain, he had wanted to sit out there and just be. But with the thunderstorm that had, really only held off long enough for Regulus' plot to settle, that plan and been put on hold.

Soon he was face to face with the onyx colored stone. Sirius felt his whole gut clench as he read the tombstone,

_**Regulus Arcturus Black**_

_**June 6**__**th**__** 1961 - August 26**__**th**__** 1979**_

_**Beloved Son, forever in our hearts**_

_**Tojours Pur**_

_**Sirius ran his fingers over his brother's name, when they were children the two boys had planned on living well onto their hundreds. Maybe even the first wizards to make it past two hundred. But now, it would be Sirius' lone journey to make it.**_

"_**Well Reggie, I guess that I am all by myself here, eh? You did it on purpose didn't you." He sighed as the stone stood quiet. He'd never understood why he'd always heard people talking to tombstones, and now as he stood there staring down at the black marble and all the sudden felt like he could spend his life there talking to it. **_

"_**It's pouring down today, otherwise I'd hang around. I guess what I wanted to say was I hope it was quick. I hope it was painless, and in the end…I hope you were happy with what you'd done in life. I know you were a death eater, but…" he sighed as he rubbed his face, he was lucky it was raining without it anyone who walked by would know he was crying. **_

_**He laid the carnations among the other flowers that littered the gravesite. The perks of being a fresh grave, he guessed. He could tell who had sent what and he sighed heavily as he ran his fingers over the flowers from his parents. Looking over at the markers that were his father's parents he noticed fresh flowers there as well. And he chuckled, they also dawned flowers.**_

_**Another loud clap of thunder informed Sirius it was time to leave, he'd have the rest of his life to come and sit with his brother and talk to him. Running his hand over the top of the stone one last time he gave a heavy sigh and wiped his eyes. "See ya around," he gave the stone a sad smile before turning and walking away.**_

_**He would have sworn up and down as he walked away he heard "see ya," as he walked away. But he couldn't turn around, he didn't want to see the ghost of his brother looking back at him.**_


	29. Therapy

**Rated M: Boy/Boy! You know the drill XD**

**I really don't know why I write sex XD I'm not the best at it, but I guess it's good to try right? And sorry it's so short!**

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><p>Remus sighed as he took the trash out, he could hear the countless bottles rattle in the bag. Regulus' death had taken a terrible toll on Sirius. The boy had started to smoke again as well as drinking more than normal. Remus hadn't pushed him to quit either, despite the toll it took on their relationship. He could feel the tugs on his heartstrings as he watched him lose himself. It had broken his heart to listen to Sirius get up with yet another hangover, and stagger out the door.<p>

When he walked back inside he looked at the cabinet which he knew would hold the liquor. Opening it he looked at the three bottles that were hidden behind the white doors, and pulled it all from the shelves. He walked to the sink and uncorked them. Sirius wouldn't make the change so Remus would make it for him. With one swig of the bottle he poured it down the drain.

He watched the drain drink it down, he never really liked the sound a bottle made when you finished drinking it dry, and that final release of air before the last bit of the liquor stung your throat. But right now as it escaped the lip of the bottle he never had felt more relived. Only two more bottles to go.

The next thing was the carton of cigarettes, he hated the habit, and it irritated the wolf's senses, making him feel fuzzy. He wouldn't lie at first it had been a sexy thing to watch, but now that he'd seen him do it so much it was tiring. Opening up the fireplace, which both Sirius and himself had put in and concealed with magic, he started a fire. "This is for you Sirius, you've had your month of grief…it's time to move on." and with that the cigarettes went up in flames.

Once the room filled with the smell if smoke Remus figured it probably hadn't been his brightest idea, but he was desperate to get things back under control. Opening the windows seemed to help; the cooling October air seemed to breathe in the smoke and exhale nothing but the smell of the coming fall.

When Sirius opened the door to the flat he could already smell it, he looked around the flat, "Remy…where are you?" he called as he shut the door. His head still throbbed from last night no amount of his and James' famous hangover drought seemed to chase the migraine away.

"I'm in the bedroom," he called. Sirius craned his neck to peer around the door, though he couldn't see anything. "Why, can't you come out?"

"No, if you want me come get me," the hint of playfulness in Remus' voice coaxed Sirius forward. Sirius couldn't help but lick his lips as he walked inside of the doorframe. Remus was sitting on the bed in one of Sirius' old band shirts and his boxers. "Hello darling," Remus chuckled.

"Why does the flat smell like smoke?" Sirius asked leaning against the doorway, "You didn't have to torch the whole carton…I could have thrown them out."

"No you couldn't," Remus sighed. "I asked you to do that last week."

"And I did!"

"Then you bought a whole new carton," Remus sighed, walking over to Sirius and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "And now our flat stinks of that shit…and your gonna pay for it."

"Excuse me?" But Sirius didn't have the chance to receive an answer before a hot mouth met his, and just like that he forgot what he was asking about. He let Remus lead him wherever the boy wanted him to go. The stumbled to the bed before Remus pulled away and pushed him down on the bed. "Now Mr. Black, I know you've had a rough month." he purred causing goose bumps to rise all over Sirius' body.

"So I'm going to take care of you." Remus licked his lips, removing the shirt Sirius's work shirt off. He ran his mouth all over the boy's tense body. Causing Sirius to gasp and moan for him over and over.

Only when Sirius was practically melting in his hands did Remus start to take off his belt and pants. Sirius was panting as the boy began kissing down his legs. Sirius had his hands knotting in the covers as he cried out. Remus was driving him up a wall, ignoring his member as he came up for another heated snogging session.

When they broke free for breathe Remus undressed himself, only allowing Sirius to touch him for a few moments before Remus flipped him over. Sirius grunted into the pillows as he felt Remus hot mouth against his spine.

And when Remus slid inside of him both boys saw white, it was slow and teasing. Both boys wanting to get lost in it. Sirius shivered as he heard Remus cry out before feeling his shutter against him. Sirius bit his lip as his own body released against the covers.

The two boys laid in bed curled up in one another, Sirius' head was resting on top of Remus' heart listen to it slowly slip back into it's normal beat. Running his fingers over Remus' chest he let himself get lost in the feeling of being loved, and being alive. "I've missed you," Sirius whispered softly before running soft kisses over Remus' stomach.

Remus placed a kiss on the boy's head and nuzzled his hair, "You've been away for a long while…to the point I didn't know who you were." Remus ran his fingers through Sirius' hair.

"It's just hard…he's just…"

"I know," Remus rubbed his back he could already feel Sirius getting upset. He ran his fingers over the boy's back until he felt Sirius had recovered himself and let out a deep sigh. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Keep taking care of me," Sirius looked up and searched the golden eyes he loved so much, "that and never ever leave me."

"I never will," Remus smiled. "I promise."

"Good," Sirius sat up the smile that had long since faded from his face only a month ago slowly came back to life. "Who knew a good role in the sack would make a man feel so damn good." Sirius grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes, but a smile was still on his face. "Oh yes, it's the best medicine one can have." he chuckled rising up, only to be pushed back down.

"Then let's do it again." Sirius gave him a playful smile, "I quiet enjoyed taking it."

A groan escaped Remus' lips before they were at it again.


	30. For You

**Because no one said Sirius never owned a dog!**

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><p>"For the last time NO!" Remus for the sixth time that afternoon shook his head at his boyfriend. "Where on earth would we keep him anyway?"<p>

"Come on Remy! It said in that book that when someone is grieving they need something to take care of!"

"Oh yes, and you work ALL the time, who would get left with the responsibility! Plus I think you forget WHO is a werewolf? What would I do to a dog Sirius?"

"Well…I hope it wouldn't be what you do to me," Sirius winked as he cuddled next to Remus on the bed "PLEASE can't we just go look! The shelter down the road has a sale going on and they have SOOO many!" Sirius was giving him puppy dog eyes, and despite the many years of training against them Remus crumbled every time.

"Fine…we can look," Remus didn't have enough time to drop the daily prophet that he was holding before Sirius grabbed him by the wrist and dragging him.

As the door slammed shut the prophet fluttered to the floor, laying wide open to an article that read

**Calling all werewolves:**

**Are you looking for something to make those full moons more tolerable?**

**Well look no further than to Wolfsbane, created by Damocles. **

"_**It was created as an attempted cure, which following a few tests was not the**_

_**case, but in fact it did dull the temptations of Lycanthropy and made the wizards**_

_**infected with the incurable disease more under control of themselves during**_

_**The full moon."**_

**Note:**

**This is only in the trial run, and we are searching for werewolves who are willing **

**to be test subjects.**

**Come to the Werewolf Support Center in the Ministry of Magic to register.**

**Cont. on page 6**

Remus sighed as he followed Sirius through the room full of cages. He hugged himself as he walked through listening to the barking of dogs. He hated rooms like this, where there was cage upon cage. This was one of the options a werewolf had in the ministry, deep underneath the ministry there was a room full of cages just like these, that you had the option to purchase on a monthly rate and transform.

Remus as well as his parents had chosen that would not be the option for him. "Poor things," Remus whispered as he stuck his hand between one of the fenced gate door and let a cage full of Border collie puppies nibble on his fingers. "Their's so small…and this is their life."

Sirius was standing over top of him and placed his hand on Remus' shoulder, "Cute aren't they?"

"As cute as dogs can be I guess," Remus chuckled before glaring at Sirius as the boy smacked him over the back of the head. "Couldn't have a border though," Sirius walked away. Remus chuckled he looked around many people were at the shelter today, the sale probably helped with the factor.

"They won't last long, over half of them already have homes, and puppies go way to fast in shelters." Sirius linked Remus' arm after the boy got up and pulled him. "But dogs," he stopped at a cage where in the corner sat a dark brown dog, she had big brown eyes and had one floppy year. "They don't make it so long here."

Remus glared at Sirius; of course he'd give him a sappy story while showing him such a beautiful dog. "You're a heartless bastard," Remus glared at him. Sirius merely smiled. "Her name is Lari; she's been here for thirteen days, one more day." Sirius clicked his tongue and held his fingers through the gate. "She's about seven and the guy who I talked to said she was a Retriever collie mix, isn't she cute Rem?"

"…you show me a dog that has one day left Sirius…"

"Well…it's not my fault for a week you've been saying no."

"YOU"VE BEEN HERE FOR A WEEK!"

"Here and there, James' idea."

"Of course Potter suggests getting a dog," Remus crossed his arms over his chest, doing his best to not look at the big brown eyes that were looking up at him. No he would not give in; they didn't have the room for a dog. Nor did they have the spare money. Great now she's crying, Remus gave her a glance and felt his heart melt. There she was up on her back legs sitting up.

He looked at Sirius who was giving him the same big eyes; Remus' resolve was melting away like ice cream on a hot day. Why had he given into the boy who no matter what Remus believed was always able to make him crumble?

"Sirius…we don't have the space…nor the time…"

"I'll take care of her! I'll take her on walks and we can go to the park PLEASE!" Remus made an inward groan as he knelt down. "Siri…she's old. You'll be heartbroken if anything happens…"

"So…she can have a good home, and no worries about being a wolf around her! Wolfies like doggies." Remus' face palm echoed throughout the shelter, causing some people to look at him funny. "Sirius…can we not talk about that around Muggles? Hmm?"

"Do we have a deal?"

"No…Sirius tell the doggie bye and let's go."

"PLEASE!"

Remus stood up, he ignored the cries of both Sirius and the dog, and he had to say no. He had to walk away, when Sirius brushed past him he chuckled to himself.

Sirius didn't speak to him the whole taxi ride home, nor did he speak to him as he got dressed for his nightshift at work. Didn't kiss him goodbye, nor did he even tell him goodnight. Just shut the door and stormed out, and when Remus heard the motorbike rev up was when he got up and walked back out the door.

When Sirius walked back in the flat the room was pitch black, it was nearly after midnight and Remus always waited up for him. He was still pissed off at the fact the wolf had told him no, he could always get him to crumble. So when it really mattered to him and he couldn't get him to break it had really bothered him.

After turning on a few lights Sirius walked into the kitchen and looked for leftovers, only to find none. Lovely Remus hadn't even been kind enough to leave him a few scraps of dinner. It just figured, he huffed and ended up making a bit of toast and jam. As he leaned against the counter, he peered over at Remus' office and realized the light was on. Ohhh! So he wouldn't even come out to greet his boyfriend!

"Shhh, he'll hear you," Remus' quiet whisper caused Sirius to freeze. "Shhh, yes mmph, stop licking me, he's gonna hear you!"

Sirius' blood ran cold as it pulsed through his veins, no Remus wouldn't do that.

"Can you cut that out! He's right there! Wait till he's gone," Sirius felt his blood rush to his ears as he stormed over to the door, and was about to fling it open when he heard Remus cry out.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-" he stopped as he starred at Remus underneath the dog from the shelter. With his eyes still wide and full of anger Remus raised his eyebrows. "Err…um…"

"Hello honey," Remus chuckled letting go of the collar in his hand and the dog rushed to Sirius before toppling him over giving him a hearty lick. "Surprise," Remus chuckled. Sirius was covering his face and laughing as the dog tried to lick his face off, "Lari off!" Remus snapped his fingers the dog perked her ears and came to Remus' heel before sitting down.

"She's very smart, took her twenty minutes to get this down." Remus ruffed the dog's ears. "You picked out a good dog."

"Are you serious?"

"Yep, she's all yours. I figured it'd be nicer to surprise you than to let you get her yourself." Remus was tackled to the floor by Sirius and snogged till he couldn't breathe. Only when the two were almost blue in the face did Sirius pull away before wrapping his arms around Lari.

"Ohhh I always wanted a dog!" He cried as he nuzzled the dog's coat. Now in the light and not crapped in a corner you could see the collie in her, the white ring of fur around her neck and the socks she had on her paws. The tip of her tail was white as well; she had medium length hair, which of course would need to be brushed. And despite being seven years old she was still very energetic.

She dawned a black leather collar with tags already around her neck. It was after Sirius let her go that he could already see a few toys lying around as well as her bowls which were bright blue and a bone hidden in the couch cushions. He couldn't have been happier. "This is the best surprise ever," Sirius smiled up at Remus. He looked much like a child who had received the best present anyone could have ever given him. "Thank you."

"Just remember it's a big responsibility, you gotta feed her and water her. Take her on walks and clean up after her."

"I will!"

Remus chuckled and ran his fingers though Sirius' hair. "Damn good thing we bought that king bed…otherwise we'd be screwed."

"Why?" Sirius looked up at him rising and eyebrow.

"She's already claimed the foot of the bed." the two boys chuckled as Lari laid her head in Sirius' lap. "Bout time we both had a bitch in our bed," Sirius cackled holding her close to him.


	31. Trial

**Apparently Wolfsbane was made after the marauders left school, and of coures in PoA Sirius knows about it...so it had to happen before Azkaban :D**

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><p>Remus got up early that morning, normally after Sirius got up for work he'd go back to sleep and relax for a hour or so before he started doing whatever was the task for the day. But today he had a six o'clock appointment with the Werewolf Support Center, and soon after Sirius left the flat Remus was on his way.<p>

The two boys had argued over the idea of Wolfsbane, for the simple fact it was a very limited testing, and Sirius didn't want any chances taken with his werewolf's health. Remus on the other hand saw this as not only a way to make some money. But for him to do some good with his own problems. Plus maybe somewhere down the road it'd be helpful.

He was on the fourth floor of the Ministry looking at the door before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. He looked around the room only ten people sat in the white walled room. Remus rubbed his shoulder as he slowly walked in the room. There were people of all ages and genders sitting in the room.

Remus felt himself gulp as he looked around analyzing the people in the room who he knew were werewolves, not many were older than he was. And that was the part that ate at him inside and out. There was a girl who maybe was twelve sitting there with scratches all up and down her arms. Her mother was beside her and under Remus' gaze she pulled her daughter closer to her.

He looked away he hated that even werewolves looked at him like that. Then again those wolves without packs tended to hate each other all the same. A pack was the only way for a normal werewolf to live a normal life. Or as normal as one could, Remus' parents had kept him away from pack life and he was much better for it.

One by one each wolf was called; Remus leaned back in his chair and sighed. The book he had brought with him hadn't been able to hold his attention so he'd long left it at his side. Instead he started thinking about just what he was doing, and if maybe it was a bad idea.

After three hours of debate Remus went to get up to leave, "Remus Lupin," he froze hand on the door knob. He had been the last person in the room. He knew they were about to close for lunch and soon after more werewolves would show up. He turned and faced the blonde woman who had called his name. She gave him a warm smile and held out her hand.

He gave one last look at the door before turning and walking towards her, apparently he was meant to go for this trial.

"So you've been infected since you were five," the woman asked as she looked down at his chart. Remus felt uneasy sitting in the room. He had had to remove his shirt as they had taken blood from him as well as through look over of his body to make sure he was a fit man.

Now he sat here alone with the nurse who had called his name, "Yes."

"It says wolf who bit you is unknown, is this still true."

"Yes."

"You attended Hogwarts?" The woman looked up at him before looking him over. "That's a first for me."

"Dumbledore made it possible for me to go; I was a very lucky child."

"Indeed," the woman looked back down at the chart and Remus started to fidget he hadn't been to the support office's for six years. This was something the ministry didn't like. They liked keeping very good track of their wolves. Then again Remus had always been in as much control as a werewolf could, and he had never bitten anyone. So they had no reason to keep an eye on him.

"Still a green wolf too, I'm very surprised." She gave him a cheery smile, "you're a perfect candidate for this Mr. Lupin. Can I ask why you looked to this? I know the prophet was running a little article on it, but most people came in because they have bitten someone."

"Well…" Remus rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I wanted to do what I could to help anyone who suffers like me. If being a trial runner is what I can do then I guess it's what I can do." He gave her a warm smile, "plus I was curious. I always wondered if something like this would ever happen." The woman nodded and glanced his chart over.

"So a green wolf for over twelve years, you must be one of the few who can say that." she stood up and walked over to a cabinet. "You're a very lucky guy Remus; most of the werewolves who start at your age or even a little older are already red."

Remus felt a gulp as she reached for the cabinet this was always the most painful part of these visits. To a normal person a silver spoon wouldn't be scary; it'd actually be quite special. But to a werewolf it was the most painful thing one could endure.

"I really hate this process; I have a cousin who's a wolf. He tells me how painful this is, always says it's like being burned alive."

"He'd be right," Remus flinched as she walked closer. "Open up Mr. Lupin, quicker you show me those pearly whites the sooner this is over." Remus watched as another nurse came in from the side door and held out a cup, he ran his tongue over his teeth knowing not only was this going to hurt but it was about to taste really nasty.

He hadn't given a test of his venom in years, and he could remember as a child how nasty the plastic that covered the cup tasted. He felt a quick squeeze to his hand and a soft sorry in his ear before a shot of pain ran through his arm. He howled out in pain, feeling the venom bubble up in his veins.

"Get it fast Christy!" he could hear her call, he felt his jaw snap shut around the plastic cup and the spoon be pulled away. His body was limp as it sat back in the chair, the world was fuzzy around him as he panted once the cup was removed and the other woman left the room.

"Are you alright," Remus opened his eyes and looked at the woman. He hadn't really been paying attention to her, and when their eyes locked he really took her in. Her hair was light blonde and her blue eyes were as blue as the ocean. She was a petite woman maybe 5'4. She smelled much like honeysuckles and simply put she was a very beautiful woman.

"Yea…that part is never easy." Remus sat up straight rubbed his temples, he couldn't wait to get home and go back to bed. "I'm really sorry I had to do it," she rubbed his forearm with a cream, whatever it was Remus wanted it. He'd never felt relief that rushed over him after contact with silver before.

"What is that?" he asked looking it over as she wrapped a bandage around his wound. "I honestly don't know, it's one of those new discoveries, don't worry this is safe." She smiled as she finished wrapping his wound. "Won't even notice it tomorrow."

Remus nodded and gave a sigh, Sirius would. He always noticed everything. "You can put your shirt back on if you'd like. Were pretty much done here."

Remus reached for his shirt and slowly started to button the buttons looking her over. "So…I take it I have to sign forms or something?"

"We'll let you know next week if you're a good candidate, though I'm sure you'll be selected. You passed all of our tests; we just have to wait for the blood and venom before we are positive." Remus nodded as she patted his shoulder. "I really hate to be nosey but I must ask…are you single?"

Remus starred at her wide eyed, "Err…well I am seeing someone yes, why?" She gave him a nervous smile before shaking her head. "Just curious, most werewolves are either single for life or…well are well matched by now."

"Got a thing for wolves," Remus chuckled as he hopped off of the chair he had been sitting in. The nurse chuckled at him and shrugged, "It's not every day a girl meets such a handsome wolf. I'll see you around Mr. Lupin." the woman was out the door before Remus had a chance to even register what she had said.

And once he had he just starred after the door before shaking his head. It figured after he had started dating Sirius the ladies would pay attention to him. He ruffled his hair as he looked in the mirror.

"She said what?" Sirius laughed later over dinner, "Oh that's hilarious! And what did you tell her?"

"I didn't get to say anything; she was gone in the blink of an eye!" Remus chuckled as he poured himself another glass of water. "I swear Sirius, if I had been single I might have just had to take her dinner, she was beautiful."

"Good thing I snagged you up then." Sirius grinned, "Can't believe it my Remus got hit on by a ten…" he laughed harder holding his stomach. "What's that supposed to mean! Don't think I could get a hot girl?"

"Well you got a hot man didn't you?" Sirius' loud laughter was interrupted to mashed potatoes to the face, causing Remus to burst into laughter. And thus a food fight was begun.

After the two were hidden behind a chair on either side of the small dinning room and Lari was running around licking up whatever her nose could find the two looked at one another, "this is so your mess!" Remus laughed as he stood his chair up. "Lari! No!"

"Oh let her won't kill her," Sirius chuckled as he picked up his own chair. "And I'm not cleaning this up! You started it!"


	32. Wolfsbane

**Will be my last update until Monday. And I'm really sorry for all of these freeze posting lately...stuff keeps popping up XD. Hopefully it'll stop happening...that or I'll at least be around internet when things happen XD. Have a great weekend guys!**

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><p>"Remy I'm home!" Sirius called as he walked into the room James at his heels with a bag of take out in his hands. "Wonder where he is?" Sirius looked around and whistled Lari came trotting out of Remus' office tail wagging. "See I told you see was a cutie!" Sirius bent down and ran his fingers over the dogs fur reciving more than a few licks. "Where's daddy sweetie?"<p>

Lari tilted her head to the side before huffing out a frustrated sigh, "haven't seen him either then?" Sirius looked up to see James looking out the window, "what?"

"Sirius…my friend we are horrible to Remus."

"Why is this?" Sirius sat down on the floor looking up at James, Lari had taken her favorite seat in the house, burried in Sirius' lap. "Oh I don't know," James mused, "Glanced at your calendar lately?"

Sirius blinked before standing up, pratically throwing the dog from his lap and tore into the bedroom and let out a frustrated cry. "I AM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!"

James shook his head and rubbed between his temples "married life fucks with your schedule I swear, how'd we forget?" Did married life really cause him to forget so much, no wonder Lily had tried to tell him to wait for a few more days. The woman never forgot anything, which would also explain her bailing.

"Fuck my life," Sirius rubbed his forehead as he looked down at the dog that had leaped up on the couch and snuggled into one of Remus' jumpers. He gave a smile and patted the dogs head. "Nothin' smell's better than daddy, huh?" The thump of her tail was enough answer for him.

"Care for a run of old times Prongs?"

James gave Sirius a wide grin, "You read my mind dearest Padfoot."

Sirius lit one of the small table lights to keep Lari for the night before giving her a kiss on the top of her wide head, right between her ears. "Be back in the morning." And with that the two marauders turned towards the door and headed down into the basement.

"You know, you'd be a good father," James looked at Sirius as they walked down the third flight of stairs. "If you're that good with a dog then I can only imagine a baby."

"Remus and I have talked about it…after the war maybe. No reason to even attempt to bring a child into our crazy lives," Sirius laughed. "Plus there will most likely be many to choose from as sad as that fact is…we are in a war."

"That we are, second war on England soil…can you imagine it. Hasn't even been forty years since World War II."

"Having our own civil war," Sirius chuckled as James rolled his eyes. "Copying them Yanks ain't we Jamesie?"

"Oh shut up Padfoot," James pushed him off trying his best not to smile. "War isn't something to joke about."

"That's why you got cracks all over your face from denying that smile of yours."

A few playful swats were exchanged before they reached the door that led down the stairway to the underground shelter. "Let's hope Rem can't smell us just yet." Sirius reached for the door, "transform the second your in the door, it's gonna be hard but…you can manage." James was already slipping inside of the door as he grinned "We've had worse run in's before," like that the face of James Potter switched into the noble stag as it walked down the stairs doing it's best not to get it's head stuck in the narrow hallway.

"Oh I totally forgot about the antlers!" Sirius laughed as Prongs' grunts echoed through the small hallway. Once the door was shut behind him Sirius transformed and was slipping between Prongs' legs nearly causing both deer and dog to tumble down the stairs.

When Padfoot reached the bottom of the stairs he was nervous the wolf tended to meet him the second Sirius shut the door he normally barely had enough time to transform, but this time not only had he been able to but James who had been before him had more than enough time. As well as enough time to get down the stairs.

When Prongs met him at the bottom the two starred at one another before they walked further into the small room. Eventually they found the wolf curled up in a corner. Something seemed very wrong as Padfoot walked closer, the wolf not moving towards them. He just laid there golden eyes looking at them. Prongs was right behind the dog incase this was one of the wolf's many tricks he had pulled over the years.

But as the two got closer the wolf just laid there, when Padfoot nuzzled him he was greeted with a lick before Moony laid his head back down on his paws and gave a quiet sigh. Padfoot whined as he nuzzled the great grey wolf over and over trying to get him to stand up.

Eventually Moony gave a huff before standing up and walking around, showing him he was ok. It wasn't normal for the wolf to lay so still so Padfoot all night stayed close to him. Even when the group got running around and playing Padfoot never took his watchful eyes off of the grey wolf.

It was well after midnight before the three laid down huddled together in the cellar, despite all tries Padfoot couldn't get any sleep. To worried about what was wrong with his beloved wolf, what had happened for him to be so still?

He was jarred from his thoughts by a soft tug on his neck fur, he looked down to see the wolf nipping and nuzzling his neck. He could sense the dog's fear gently trying to nuzzle it away; he gave a soft whine before nuzzling him again. Padfoot rested his head on top of the wolf's before licking his ear.

The night had been to gentle, to kind, something was definitely off.

"Well Remus, I don't know what you did but it was definitely something you should keep up," Sirius woke up to James' laughter. "I mean really not even a scratch this morning! I was quite shocked to see you so gentle, almost like a dog. What did you do?"

"Remember that trial I was trying to get into apparently I was a good candidate and they sent me the first trial potion. It's the nastiest thing I've ever tasted…and you know I have had more than my fair share of nasty potions. But…I felt it immediately, like for once the wolf listened. It was really amazing."

"What's going on?" Sirius rose up rubbing his eyes and stretched, eyeing a dressed Remus and James sitting in front of him, when had he switched forms? "Wha-"

"You looked uncomfortable," Remus smiled. "After I had my wand I merely switched your form is all. No harm done." Remus pulled Sirius close to him and for a second didn't say a word before planting a soft kiss on his lover's lips. "I didn't mean to scare you last night. I didn't know-"

"Why didn't you tell me they approved you? I thought you were dying!"

"Um…because you were at work?" Remus raised an eyebrow, "I warned you there was a chance over a week ago! You should have known I was fine." Remus pointed to Sirius' shoulder. "Do I have to reteach you just what that thing means?"

"Oh shove off; the last thing I was focused on was the mark." Sirius huffed, "And here I was as sweet as could be and brought you dinner!" Sirius gave a wicked grin at James. "HEY! That's not even NICE to joke about!"

"I wouldn't eat you James," Remus stood rather easily than normal, "your too damn stringy we tried this already. Remember?" James' shutter let them both know he hadn't forgotten. "I have never felt this good after a full moon." Remus grinned.

"It can't really be that amazing?" Sirius raised an eyebrow looking at him. Remus was looking him over as James stood up, "come on Gents let's get Remus up to the flat, I bet the hound will need to go to the bathroom."

Sirius nodded and took to his own feet; Remus was already on his feet and walking ahead of the two marauders. James couldn't help but chuckle at a frustrated Sirius. "It's all a show."

"Can't you just be happy?" James chuckled nudging Sirius, "I highly doubt he's gonna leave now that he doesn't need you to take care of him." The look on Sirius' said he wasn't so sure. "Oh Padfoot come on! Do you really think that?" James hissed knowing Remus was out of earshot.

"Look James…if our places were reversed what would you think? I've taken care of him for years!"

"Yes…well things change Pads, he loves you. He's not going anywhere."

"If you're so sure."

After James made sure both boys were well back in their flat he left, something along the lines of Lily would be missing him. Though the smirk on his face was more he was missing his wife, and he was going to give her a nice waking up present.

"Rem…are you faking?" Sirius finally asked as he took a drink of his morning tea. "You…can't really feel that good."

Remus eyed him from the couch; his hand stopped moving on Lari's head. "What makes you think that? Can't a guy feel good?"

"No it's not that it's just…"

"What I'm not laying in bed in agonizing pain?" Remus shot him a dark look before grumbling, "couldn't just be happy for me."

Sirius rose and walked over to Remus before looking down at him, "Remus you scared me last night, and now you're just…well…"

"Normal?" Remus looked up at him golden eyes glowing. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous."

"Of what?"

"The fact that I don't need you…"

Sirius starred at him as Remus got up and walked away, Lari following at his heels. Sirius stood there long after the office door had shut. Only when he legs grew too weak to hold him did he let himself fall. He held himself up against the back of the couch and hid his face in one of his hands. This couldn't be happening!

After moments of him trying to relax and breath he walked over to Remus' office door and pushed it open. Remus was writing on a piece of parchment Tenebris was at his side preparing for the flight. "I see you at least have a use for my owl." Sirius' voice was gruffer than he had wanted but it got Remus' attention.

"Are you really that angry?" Remus looked up at him after tying the note to the owl's leg and sending him on his way. Then he turned to face Sirius before sighing at the man who stood at the door. "You just…said you didn't need me."

Remus couldn't help but chuckle at the man who stood in the door way, head hung and sounding positively distraught. When Sirius looked up at him he covered his mouth, "Oh love," he shook his head. "I didn't mean it that way. I just…well you know how I am with the moon. Especially the day after," he walked over wrapping his arms around Sirius before giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

"If it helps, yes I still hurt. But it's not near as terrible, at least I am not covered in cuts this time." he patted Sirius' cheek. "Come on Siri, I'm tired." Remus gave a loud yawn before leaning on him. Sirius gave him a soft smile before kissing his forehead. "So it is an act?"

"In some ways…a little bit. I couldn't help but want to frustrate you."


	33. My Father's Son

***grumbles* ya know...it's hard to go by cannon sometimes...**

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><p>"Hey Sirius, can you go get me a drink?" Remus called from the bathroom, Sirius shivered at his tone. He doubted he was leaving that bedroom when he got back in there. "Course I can," Sirius got up humming to himself and walked into the living room only to freeze. "Err…Remus, put clothes on."<p>

"Why?" He could hear Remus walking towards the door frame.

"We have a guest," Sirius shook his head as his father finally turned to face him. Hand over his mouth, "I bet you got an earful earlier." Orion Black burst into laughter leaning heavily against the wall. "Yep…definitely put pants on…"

As tea was poured Sirius looked his father over, "So dad, what brings you to our flat…ya know without knocking or anything."

"I didn't think I'd come in on you and Remus being err…busy." Orion chuckled sending a passing glance at a blushing Remus. "I must ask do your parents know Remus? I knew your mother from school so…"

"My parents' don't know. I haven't yet informed them their only son is with a bloke." Remus rubbed the back of his neck. "I highly doubt my father will take it too well."

Sirius grumbled, "Dad your dancing around the bush. What did you need to see me about?"

"A father can't come over for breakfast?"

"When your father is Orion Black…normally no." Sirius chuckled taking a drink of his tea. "So…what is it?" Orion gave a heavy sigh before rubbing his temple with his fingers. "That bad?"

"I just…felt the need to come see you, have a chat about things." Though the look Orion gave his son didn't seem like he had come to talk about the latest Quidditch match.

Remus stood up and gave Sirius a kiss on the top of his head, "I have to go out and do some things, when I come back if your free we can go to Regent's park. Take Lari out?" Sirius nodded, he had a feeling he would need the fresh air when this was all over.

Once Remus left Sirius gave his full attention to his father, he had long since noticed the file on the coffee table, but hadn't spoke of it. And watching his father walk over to it and pick it up made his head spin. Black Family Business, he thought he had escaped all of that nonsense.

"As much as I hate pulling you into these things," Orion started, "I have to…I don't really have any other choice."

"You have mum," Sirius took another drink of his tea not watching his father as he came back closer. "She can handle your business."

"There is to much estate and between you and I, I am not letting her hand it over to my cousin to disperse between his two daughters. Because you know that's what she'll do when she is in control of it."

"Who says I want it?" Sirius gave him a dark glance. "I ran off for a reason, father. I don't exactly want anything." Orion was looking at him before shaking his head. He hadn't meant to hurt his father, it wasn't the point.

"Sirius…I need someone I can trust. Not saying I can't trust your mother but…I don't want you left with nothing if I die."

"You have twenty more years if not more. The Black family is known for it's longevity if we don't die young we don't tend to die until were nearly eighty. I don't think you need to worry."

"Sirius…I've gone through a lot lately. The loss of your brother has worn very hard on your father's heart." That got Sirius' attention. He'd done his best to ignore his father's ragged and worn appearance. Ignoring the grey hairs that now seemed to have doubled since he last saw him. His eyes were tried and dull, this was not the man Sirius remembered as his father.

"Dad…your fine. Your just upset over Reg. Give it time, it'll be ok."

"Why are you not at work?" Orion raised an eyebrow. "You can't tell me you have a day off." Sirius looked away from his father and gave a deep sigh. "Let me guess…"

"I have a suspension. We had a raid…I can't say I didn't kill a man."

Orion starred at his son, wide eyed and caught very off guard. "The bastard said something about Reg…I went off." Sirius gave a deep breath "Remus thinks I took vacation, I told him stress got a hold of me. He doesn't know."

"Lucky you weren't expelled from the program," Orion gave a small chuckle crossing his arms over his chest.

"I have you to thank, I know who kept my back. You and the Potter's both." Orion nodded, "Harold informed me of it, he'd done as much as he could. Black still has a meaning to the ministry."

"When has it not?" Sirius looked him over, "Now that we have covered why I am here, in my own home. You still haven't told me exactly why you're here. I get family business, but that's as much as I have."

"We need to talk about inheritance."

"Um well let me make it simple. I get zip I was disinherited remember…or were you too drunk to remember?" Sirius glared at his father, "it all went to Reg when I packed my bags remember."

"Well where is Regulus, Sirius?" Orion snapped, sending the same glare back at him. "Last time I checked…"

"Enough…" Sirius shook his head, he wouldn't have his father say it. He couldn't hear it and no child of Orion Black's would cry in front of him. He stood up from the table and turned his back to his father trying his best to control himself. He wouldn't unravel and take it out on his father.

"Sirius I just…" Orion stood and placed his hands on Sirius' shoulders. "I never spoke to Reg about these things…I wanted to keep him a child as long as I could. Which apparently I didn't do very well…"

"You did fine Dad, just…mother got into Regulus' head more than mine. Though had I been able to keep him under my eye at school maybe…" Orion shook his head as he patted Sirius' shoulder, "we both failed Regulus in the end." Sirius nodded it was not something the two could argue. They were the only ones still around, the blame had to rest somewhere between them.

"So what about the inheritance," Sirius tried to chance the subject. Regulus' death had tried to choke the life out of the room. "Why did you need to speak to me about it, I doubt mother will let you just hand it over to me."

"I've worked around it," Orion grinned. "Of course…seeing as in our family the property always goes to the first son it's been a rule since the family was worth something. It would mean that you get everything, or at least Grimmauld Place. Since only a male heir can take it. You're the only one of late, though I have heard rumors of Narcissa being pregnant I will not have a Malfoy live in my family home."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he felt his father push down on his shoulders. Pushing him to sit, and Orion soon joined his side. " And how am I to do this? Because last time I checked my mother still lived there. And I highly doubt if you died she'd die of heartbreak." Sirius chuckled as his father snorted. "See?"

"Your mother's mother was…rather crazy. I think half of her issues come from Pollux, your grandfather always said he was one crazy son of a bitch. But that is here nor there, I figured it wouldn't be too hard to ask you to let her live there till she dies?"

"And then I get the inheritance?"

"That's the plan, she ought to know that's how it will work. But I think she thinks she gets a hold of everything if I was to ever die. Making sure you get none of it, but the elf who handles our estate and fortune knows better than this. He knows she can't do anything unless my will states so."

"What does it say exactly?" Sirius peered over his father's arm to try and look at the open folder in his father's hands. "Let me read!"

Orion pulled the folder out of his son's reach laughing "Wouldn't be a surprise if I showed you now would it?"

"DAD!"

"There is more to discuss, as in my job…"

"I don't want it, that place gives me the creeps."

Orion rolled his eyes, "Yes I know this, though as a child you loved the place."

"That's BEFORE you showed me half of the shit that's down there…really the talking Mummy head was bad enough!"

"It's not there anymore, apparently the charm wore off…"

"After a thousand years?"

"Apparently so, anyway! If you don't want it then it's up to you when I die to put someone in position. This is the main reason for your inheritance…I don't want this position falling in the wrong hands Sirius. And I don't trust your mother a lick not to be swayed by Bellatrix or anyone else to not see the position held in good hands. My son died because of it I will not see his death in vain."

"Yes sir." Sirius nodded, raiding his mind of who he might place there. "The money, how about that?"

"I've already sealed some off in a special vault for you, when I die. Your mother thinks I'm spending it on a whore…" Orion rolled his eyes. "Or I believe that's what she accused me of, one only knows with her."

"How much have you been putting away?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Few galleons here or there, I've been doing it since you ran away. Making sure if anything was to happen to me I knew you'd at least be set for a while…you know being fatherly." Orion smiled. "I knew Alphard left you more than enough to keep you well taken care of. Or at least I though so…" Orion eyed him. "You're not the best man with finances are you?"

"Remus is teaching me," Sirius grumbled. "I was a free bachelor I am allowed to go a tad bit crazy."

"The bike is rather lovely, it's old though. Going classic?"

"It was from the year I was born, and it needed more work than it was worth. But I was bored."

Orion rolled his eyes, "You never change."

Sirius shook his head and smiled. "Soo…were settled?"

"Sirius…" Orion sat down and looked his son over, "I can't explain everything now…it'd be stupid to bother your brain with such nonsense that is my estate issues. Especially with your mother in the mix. My best advice is only to handle the Department of Mysteries place if you decide not to take it. And to use what I gave you sparingly, Walburga can't get into it but she'll notice if you start doing…fancy things."

"I don't want to know why she keeps looking for me."

"To make sure you don't throw more shit on the family name," Orion laughed, giving his son a very wide smile. He patted his son's shoulder before standing up and handing the file to Sirius. "I guess that'd be a good place to start, though don't look at it until I've died. I am not arguing with you over what you've inherited." Sirius shook his head but smiled anyway, there was no reason to argue.

"Enjoy your day son, and…" Orion chuckled, "Enjoy your man." He was halfway to the door before Sirius reached out and wrapped his arms around his father.

Sirius didn't know what had rushed over him, but the overwhelming sense to hug the man one more time was too strong. He didn't let go for a few minutes, there was too much he wanted to say, but he didn't feel it was right to say.

Orion held his son tight and didn't let go. They stood there a few moments before they both let go and looked back into identical eyes. "How do you deal with it," Sirius finally asked, Orion raised an eyebrow before really understanding the meaning of his question. "Sirius…one never just deals with death. Especially not of a child. Typically one just accepts it and moves forward." Sirius nodded before he felt his father hug him one more time. "Just remember this, the ones who we love truly never leave us."

Sirius felt himself swallow a lump in his throat, "Be safe dad."

"And you too" Orion ruffled his son's hair and turned his back. "love you boy."

"Love you too dad…" Sirius whispered as the door shut.

A sense of dread rushed over Sirius as he looked at the door then down to the manila folder in his hand. He'd had this feeling before, this sense of loss. He did his best to swallow it, no matter what he tried he couldn't chase it away.

When Sirius turned away from the door he couldn't shake the feeling it'd be the last time he'd see his father. The folder felt heavy in his hands as he went to open it, of course it didn't budge. His father most likely charmed it to stay sealed until his death. After a long sigh he realized just how much he really needed a walk.


	34. Shell Shocked

**Listening to Pandora is normally a bad idea when I write, but when Hallelujah and Glitter in the Air came on apparently it was the right beat or something because I really love this chapter :D**

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><p>Remus had never really been involved with battles, at least not out in the open. He'd be a very good duelist in school, very quick and accurate. And now the in the middle of a wide open field with the dark mark already glowing over his head did he feel maybe he might not be good enough.<p>

Killing curses and stunning jinxes flew around him like hailstones, and luckily for Remus he typically as always light on his feet. They had been in the middle of a small order meeting when the Ministry radio had fizzed in and for once in the Ministry's protocol they issued the urgency call for any wizard who could fight. Four attacks were happening at once and the Ministry had run out of armed fighters.

It was the first call to action the Order had, and they quickly jumped on it. Dumbledore had split the numbers evenly and with Lily at Remus' side the two were off. With only enough time to catch his breath Remus looked around him, he could see two Auror's down at least.

Lily was deep in battle with one wizard and it looked like he was quickly losing the fight to her quick attacks. His attention was jarred by a noise he had never expected to hear, he knew that cry. His head whipped around fast enough to give him whiplash and his eyes went wide. He knew that sound from anywhere; with a flick of his wand the wizard who was attacking where the sound of the cry had come from flew more than twenty feet away.

Remus met silver eyes with a smile "Get up Black, you die I'll bring you back to kill you." His voice was gruff and full of white rage. "What the fuck are you doing here!" Sirius snapped shooting a spell over Remus' shoulder hitting a man who attempted to get his lover while his back was turned. The two quickly turned back to back and began new sets of duels.

"Ministry gave a shout for abled wands." Remus called over all the noise, "Do I get points for saving a damsel?"

"Shut up!" Sirius shouted though laughter was laced in his voice, he really lived for the fight. There was no job Sirius was better at than fighting for what was right. If there ever came a time where he could only sit around he'd rather a bullet to the brain than that. "And you just happened to show up where I was fighting?"

"Call it luck!"

The fight raged on up till the wee morning hours the sun was already creeping up over the hills of the English countryside "What the fuck! Does Voldemort have millions of followers?"

"Could be recycled people look how tired they are!" Remus heard someone shout to answer Sirius. The fight edged on, they must have been the last fight going on because as quickly as Voldemort's followers showed up Aurors and other able wands would appear and take them on.

And as the sun broke the horizon line, it was welcomed with the remains of the fight. All of Voldemort's men had either fled or lay on the ground. Either unconscious or dead.

"How bad was the death toll," Sirius asked one of the Auror's Remus didn't know who was standing beside them as the accessed damage.

"Were high tonight…Sirius I don't know what happened it was like someone poked his hive and the hornets just swarmed us. Lucky your brother isn't alive or he might…" the man stopped as he felt Sirius' death glare. "I mean…"

"Go fuck yourself," Sirius spat. Storming over to Remus who was being checked over and healed by Lily who had not only been fighting but was the designated on site healer. James' furious form had appeared beside her once he had noticed her red hair in the mist of the battle.

"And what gave you the idea to let her come!" James snapped, "She could have been killed!"

"It's my choice to fight Potter," Lily snapped. Glaring at her husband, "And give him breathing room. You snotty nosed brat, calm down I am fine."

James gave a huff before noticing Sirius was walking towards them "CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM! Letting her- Are you ok?"

Remus looked up to see Sirius surveying the wounded and lost, his eyes scanning the bloody field.

"Come next spring this place will be planted and in the summer the crops will be alive and well."

The four looked over the now barren field, what had remained of the still growing crop was now destroyed in the fields. It was late October so most of the crop had been harvested, but there was still enough that the farmer who's field they had decided to fight in would feel the pain come the late harvest.

"Things might not grow," Lily continued wrapping Remus' wounded arm. "One never knows how crops will react to spilt blood, especially magical."

Sirius had yet to turn around and face them, "How many families will never get to see their loved ones again?"

The conversation was silenced as Ministry members came, those to clean up the aftermath. No one watched as over ten body bags were laid out. There would be more, but no one spoke as one by one people were lowered into the black bags.

"I never want to be put into one of those…at least not on a battle field," James finally whispered putting his hands on Lily's shoulders. Lily reached up and touched his hands and looked up at him, "Shhh, respect the dead."

The field went silent as those who were injured were tended to by other healers who showed up with the Ministry. The dead were loaded and taken away. And as the four started to depart after giving their testimony for the battle the clean up crew showed up.

It was hard sometimes keeping magic under wraps, especially when death eaters tended to attack those who couldn't defend themselves.

When Sirius and Remus apparated home, Sirius' first reaction was to flip on the television. It had been charmed to pick up wizarding channels as well. And the first thing he saw was the news, and it just so happened to be highlighting the fights of the night.

"Fighting out in Regent's park," Sirius scoffed. "Fucking idiots."

Remus ignored him as he walked into the bedroom discarding his clothes from the evening. "OF COURSE THEY FOUGHT THERE!" Remus rolled his eyes at another shout from Sirius, Lari was curled up in the bed and with the sound of Sirius' angry shout the dog rose her head and Remus smiled at the sound of her tail thumping against the made bed.

She crawled over to Remus and licked the hand that was leaning against the bed; his head was hung as silent tears streamed down his face. Had it really only been a year since he was in school? Had all of this been going on when he was in school?

"Oh yes of COURSE the minister is disturbed by the random attacks! MAYBE HE SHOULD DO A BETTER JOB-"

"ENOUGH SIRIUS!" Remus shouted his hand was now balled in a tight fist as he shouted; he didn't care if his voice sounded like he was crying. At the moment all he wanted was silence. Lari jerked away form him faster than lightning and she curled up against the pillows. "Lari…I'm sorry, come here sweetie." Remus whispered doing his best to give her a smile.

Remus didn't hear the TV turn off nor did he hear Sirius walk towards him, but he did feel his lover's warm embrace and his soft breathing in his ear. Tears trickled down his face again as he felt Sirius' grip tighten around his waist. "I love you," it was clear as day in his ears but it only caused his heart to clench more.

"I love you too," Remus whispered as tears streamed down his face. "Oh God Sirius I love you so much." He breathed turning and burring his face into Sirius' neck. He felt like such a girl but it was too much. Remus had fought battles before, but…nothing like last night.

"Shhh, I'm here." Sirius whispered sitting down on the bed and pulling the boy into his arms. "Shhh, it's ok."

After a few moments Remus regained composure and looked into Sirius' eyes. His eyes held tears just as he could feel the wet spots in his hair but he didn't really care as he wiped Sirius' tears away. Sirius gave him a weak smile before returning the favor.

They sat there on the bed looking in each others eyes for who knew how long. All they knew is that it was their saving graces. Just sitting there in a flat all their own, listening to their own breaths. Looking into each others eyes and knowing only a few inches away was a hound who despite her age was their child. And perched in the living room sound asleep was Sirius' faithful owl. And some miles away James and Lily were safe under their own roof.

Fear was chased away by the warmth that was in the eyes that stayed locked. Silent conversations took place between those eyes. Promises and dreams were whispered inside of that room, just holding one another.

_I love you._

_I love you too._

_I need you._

_I'll always need you._

_Protect me._

_Defend me._

_I'm scared_

_Me too…_

The silence was jarred as the Ministry radio fizzed to life, the two boys looked back at one another before the gripped each other like their lives depended on it.

"This is the all clear notice; we'll be back with the tolls of the night."

The two boys relaxed only for a little bit before they both looked at one another and laughed, they laughed until they held their guts and could no longer breathe. With tears streaming down their faces as they laid back on the bed gasping for air laughing.

They probably looked like two insane people, and that might just be the case as the laughter finally died away and the two boys panted for air before looking at one another and smiling.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?" he reached for Sirius' hands and held them tight, toying with the ring that was on Sirius' left hand a wide grin slipping on his face.

"How about going out for breakfast to that little place you like? The one out by the Thames?" Sirius perched up on his elbow running his fingers through Remus' hair, causing the man to smile.

"I'd like that." he smiled, "Get a table outside, we can take Lari with us." he smiled, Sirius threw his head back and looked at the dog who was giving them both a puppy dog pout. "Ohhh I suppose," Sirius laughed.


	35. Intruder

**Hopefully I can pick up the pace and make this a much darker story. But we'll see, I normally don't write dark things...so yea XD**

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><p>Sirius hated St. Mungo's it was a fact, he never enjoyed white rooms. And no matter where you went in the hospital you were always in a white room. White walls, white floors, white ceilings, for heaven's sake even the sheets were white, as well as the gowns they put you in. And neither the sheets nor gown were cotton, instead they itched and drove you half mad as you lay there letting the healers tend to you.<p>

It hadn't even been a rough battle, it honestly had been a quite simple battle, and how he ended up flying over the shelves of a muggle convenience store was something he still hadn't put together. All he knew was one moment he was flat on his feet and the next he was laying in a rather painful position on a shelf, which had been thrown over by his weight.

"And what have I told you about not watching your back!" James chastised, though he'd long been tuned out. James hadn't been watching either, the two had really only stepped out of the office for a quick midnight snack. They were on graveyard shift, which normally neither of them ever pulled one, but since the recent attacks by death eaters more Auror's were put on graveyard shifts.

October was coming to a close, and being in the hospital was no way to send the night before Halloween. Sirius griped as he laid there, a healer was taking his blood as James rambled on about how he should have been paying attention.

"Potter, look do me a huge favor and could you please stuff it!" Sirius groaned, "And call Remus will you, I would prefer he be here."

"Tried already Sirius, you missed him." James huffed giving him a 'you know why,' look. Sirius threw back his head and groaned loudly, why had he fallen in love with a werewolf again?

James left well after two in the morning and Sirius somehow managed to fall asleep. And by the time morning came and he was released he was fleeing so fast the nurses thought a ghost had passed them.

Throwing the cellar door open Sirius peered inside, there was no sound coming from the bottom, and as he walked down the stairs continuing to look around he saw nothing. There was no way Remus had left, and James would have left him a note if he'd come and gotten him.

A bad feeling crawled up from the pit of Sirius' stomach as he walked the three flights of stairs, taking the stairs two at a time before finally reaching his landing and rushing to his flat's door. Throwing it open probably wasn't the best idea, since it caused Lari to nearly attack him.

Despite her age, she had force and easily lunged at him from the shadows teeth barred, growling and snapping. Pinning her master to the ground every hair on her body standing at attention. It was only after Sirius covered his face did she realize who she had leaped upon.

After quickly getting off of him she looked him over. "Well hello to you too," Sirius grumbled picking himself up off of the floor. "I'll remember to not scare you again."

The rather vicious attack gave Sirius a fright, Lari was never vicious. Giving her a quick pat on the head he slipped inside wand at the ready. "Remus?" he called. His eyes went wide as he looked around the room; it looked like a bomb had gone off. Things were scattered around, furniture was torn and stuffing and feathers were everywhere.

"Remus!" Sirius called again, blood was spattered on the walls and Sirius' gut tightened "REMUS!" he shouted again, but the werewolf was no where in sight. It was when he felt the dog lick his hand that he looked back at her and his eyes were wide. How had he missed the blood on her muzzle?

It was on her paws and on her underbelly, his gut tightened even more. Had Remus attacked her?

Looking around the entire flat he couldn't find a single trace of the man he loved. He was placed in a panic, he couldn't just report him missing, the Ministry would go out with guns loaded with silver and they'd hunt him down.

The order could do no more than him, with limited man power and resources there was noting he could do. Rubbing his forehead the most Sirius could do was wait. If he wasn't home by nightfall he would start searching for him.

It was well after four when the front door opened and closed. Sirius leaped out of the shower, hastily wrapping a towel around his waist. He didn't care who saw him with soap in his hair especially if it was Remus.

He was ready for a good lecture when he saw Remus, standing there leaning rather heavily on Lari as she rushed to his side. His fingers were knotted in her fur and his head was hung, "Remus?"

Remus turned halfway to face him before a very soft smile slipped on his lips, "Hello Sirius." Sirius had seen him rather ragged but this time…Sirius didn't understand why he seemed so bad. "Where the hell have you been?" Sirius asked his throat was rather tight as he looked his werewolf over.

Clothes were ripped to shreds and he looked rather beaten up, "I was out." Remus chuckled,

"On full moon!" Sirius starred at him, rushing towards him "Are you stupid?"

"I was doing something for the Order," Remus looked around "And what in Merlin's name happened here?"

"I was going to ask you that…apparently it wasn't you." Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't touched anything, in fear of maybe removing evidence he needed to find Remus, if he hadn't come home. "Wanna fancy a guess?" Remus rubbed his temples as he walked around the room, Lari was walking at his side there to catch him if he fell.

Remus was rather weak; he couldn't remember a single thing that had happened the night before. He remembered getting the order from Dumbledore to try and mingle with the werewolves before the moon. To see who out of the small local pack had joined Voldemort. And what had happened after they all had gone out to a small dinner was beyond him.

Dumbledore had suggested for him to not take his Wolfsbane on the first meeting, until he was into the pack at least. He hadn't liked the idea; he had much rather enjoyed being in control and relaxed. But last night had been rather rough of him. Though for once after the moon the wolf was rather quiet. He shuttered to think what he might have done.

"Sirius, can you get me something for this headache?" Remus rubbed his forehead, "feels like a herd of unicorns trampled my brains." He chuckled as Sirius handed him a yellow vial. "You're a lifesaver."

"Lucky I had some of my concoction, otherwise you'd be here a while," Sirius placed a kiss on the crook of the boy's neck before rubbing his shoulders. "So…wanna try and explain this to me," he motioned around the disaster that still lay in front of them. "Or shall I just repair everything?"

"Can't you do a few of those tracker spells and have them figure it out?" Remus rubbed his forehead, he sounded like an idiot but at the moment he didn't care. All he wanted was to curl up with his man and go take a nap.

"I can get someone-"

"HEY! Why are you even home?"

Sirius gave him a look of utter confusion before laughing, "OH! Yea I got injured last night, some random really out of place attack, spent the whole night in St. Mungo's. Nothing major relax. Just a few glass scraps and such. Nothing to painful, I was bored out of my mind, but nothing to bad. Which is why I wasn't home last night to face this, only Lari was home. Should have seen the state of her! Whoever got in here got mauled."

Remus nodded, "Now on to what you were saying?"

"After I get you in bed I'll call a crime unit let them know we both were out last night and we have no idea who raided our place, they can handle this and we can go sleep, I slept like shit without you last night." Sirius smiled holding out his hands. "Come on wolf, let's go."

Once Remus was tucked in bed with a promise of Sirius' quick return, Sirius was off to handle the rest of the problem. Whoever had attacked their flat had a reason, and Sirius didn't like the idea of anyone coming into hurt either of them.


	36. Tonight

**What started out as a dark chapter ended up being changed. This chapter just…was a pain really. My muse wanted too many different things to happen in this. Which I'm sure you'll notice. And let me know if you guys want their experience at Riley's written.**

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><p>"What the hell happened here!" The man hadn't even stepped inside before Sirius had to shush him "Hush!" Sirius hissed, "A friend of mine is sleeping will you be quiet?"<p>

"Sirius almost the entire magical department knows about your boyfriend, calm down." the man chuckled, he pulled off his jacket and handed it to Sirius who placed it on a coat rack. "Now let's see-aww who's this!" the man leaned down and ruffed Lari's ears a wide grin on his face. "I had a collie like her when I was a kid! So sweet!"

"Her name is Lari, we got her from a shelter a few months ago, I needed a friend after my brother," Sirius shrugged, "Come on Darren, and I didn't call you over here to flirt with my pooch. Though I can tell you she's a rather lovely looker isn't she?"

"Much so," Darren winked a blue eye at her. "Pretty dog." he smiled, "Though I can imagine she tore up who ever came in here last night."

"Was covered in blood when I got home."

"How are you by the way, I heard a death eater tried to slice you in fourths using a shelving unit."

"Tried, didn't throw me hard enough," Sirius chuckled as they walked around the flat, he slowly led him through the flat showing him exactly what had happened through the whole flat. They'd been even quieter when they had walked through the bedroom and bathroom.

Once that was done Darren ran a few scans over the rooms before he ran a few tests on Lari finding traces of whatever or whoever had come into the flat on her. "She put up a damn good fight, not even much of a scratch on her. I'm rather impressed."

Sirius scratched between her ears. "She's built like a tank, Remus and I wrestle with her often. She could take down a grown man, attacked me this morning when I came in thinking I was whoever the poor bastard who came in first. Scared the shit out of me!"

Darren nodded running a hand through his dark brown hair, "I don't know what to tell you Sirius, it'll take a while to answer these tests. It really will, I could give you a made up fictional answer. But right now I just am not sure. But you can go ahead and fix your place up. I have all I need. Though I'm thinking a being got in here. Most likely a wolf…so…"

"Yea yea I know what that means," Sirius rubbed his temple. "You can tell who exactly it was can't you?"

"As much as one can, most wolves who attack flats…don't tend to be normal up to date now do they?"

"Don't seem the type no." Sirius chuckled. "But thanks for coming out, tell your boss to put it on my tab."

"Will do."

Once Darren was gone Sirius walked into the bedroom and crashed in his own bed next to Remus. He didn't have enough energy to put protection charms around the flat yet. That'd come after he had enough energy to stand once again.

It was well after eight when both boys finally crawled out of bed, while Remus started dinner Sirius was busy putting up every defensive spell he could think of, he'd even written his father, trying to get a list of as many as he could think of. He knew his father knew more than his fair share, so with his father's knowledge he knew the flat would be one of the safest places in London.

"What did Darren think it was?" Remus asked as he watched Sirius, he'd met Darren once or twice. Sirius had invited him over a few times when they all would play cards, he also remembered him from school. Darren was three years older than they were. He had been a Ravenclaw and one of the few Sirius had actually gotten to know very well.

"He though it was a werewolf breaking in, though why on earth they would I'll never know. Plus they didn't kill Lari, just really fucked the place up. I don't know how it could be."

Remus wasn't sure if Sirius heard his gulp, either way he felt his collar tighten around his neck. What if it had been him breaking into his own flat, tearing it to shreds…what if he'd broken in with another wolf? He shuttered at the thought, there was no way he was transforming without his Wolfsbane again.

"It wasn't you Remus," Sirius' voice dragged him out of his thoughts, when had he gotten so close? "If it had been you I highly doubt Lari would have attacked you, despite you being a wolf."

"If I attacked her she would, self defense."

"I doubt it. She would have just ran and hid from you, she's MUCH smaller than you, she could have hidden anywhere. Calm down." Sirius rubbed his shoulders running kisses down Remus' neck. "I promise everything is gonna be ok."

The conversation was left at that as Remus continued making dinner; Sirius was looking over the curtains which he couldn't repair. "Couldn't leave it so I could repair them, no they had to shred them. I was rather fond of these curtains."

Remus chuckled rolling his eyes as he dished out dinner, "Come on Miss Black, dinner time."

"Shut up!" Sirius scoffed as he walked over to him, "whose making dinner Miss. Lupin?"

"Sod off."

With dinner over the pair looked at one another it was a rather quiet night. Very quiet for Halloween, it had snuck up on Remus and Sirius quicker than they could imagine. Neither of them really realized it until the TV they were watching flashed a horror movie marathon for Halloween.

"Were wizards for heaven's sake!" Sirius shouted as he dug through his closet. "WE COMPETELY FORGOT!"

"If I remember correctly," Remus chuckled as he lay on the bed watching his lover who was bent over in a rather suggestive position. "You mentioned something last week about Halloween?"

"If you remember," Sirius grumbled. "My mouth was rather full!"

The memory alone caused pink to ting Remus' ears, yes he remember quite fondly Sirius on his knees muttering something with a rather full mouth. But what was said was still rather fuzzy. "Well what did you have planned love?" Remus chuckled as he walked over to Sirius wrapping his arms around his middle. He grinned as Sirius shivered at the quick contact.

"Um," Sirius looked back at him and gave a wicked grin. "I doubt you feel like spending the whole night in a mattress?"

Remus laughed and shook his head, "It'd be a waste to send it here, when I can do that any day." Remus gave him a secret smile before he ran a kiss against Sirius' neck. "Let's go out, be muggles for a night and join in the celebration?"

Sirius grinned ear to ear, he liked nothing more but a reason to go out and have a good time. "I like that idea." Sirius gave him a devilish smirk, "And then when we come home."

"Na uh," Remus chuckled, "you were on top last night."

"Remy!" Sirius whined.

"We'll see who does what." Remus was already on the way to his own dresser. They had bought costumes a few weeks ago; Sirius was hard to control when Halloween came around. And on one of his days off he dragged Remus to a costume shop and thus was the start of what to do for Halloween.

"I think that bar down in central London is doing a Halloween thing." Sirius was already changing, "You mean Riley's?" Remus chuckled from the bathroom, "The place you got hit on last time we went?"

"The same place." Sirius gave a wicked grin to nothing in particular, "I figured we could go there."

"Course they could be." Remus laughed as he stepped out adjusting his blazer. They both had agreed nothing crazy this year and of course Remus had gone with something rather…safe and was dressed as Cambridge professor.

"My my professor, you look good enough to shag." Sirius grinned, licking his lips. Remus was giving Sirius the same look over Sirius had already done. Sirius was dressed in British army fatigues. "Same to you Private Black," Remus chuckled, he couldn't help stepping forward and knotting his fingers in the dog tags that were draped around Sirius' neck.

"I might just make you keep these; they are rather sexy around your neck." Remus purred pulling him close with the tags, "It's about as sexy as a damn tie." Remus breathed against Sirius' lips, causing the boy to shiver. Remus let go with a rather satisfied grin. Sirius had to shake his shivers as he followed after Remus. "You realize your to sexy for you own good." Sirius grinned.

"You've said it more than once yes." Remus was already out the door walking down the stairs. "To Riley's?"

"To Riley's!" Sirius grinned.


	37. Riley's

**Rated M (sorta?): Boy/Boy slash - you've been warned. (It's at the end so no worries..)**

**I'm really kinda aggervated with this chapter! It sorta drags on, my muse is just being horrible right now. I think it's because it knows I'm trying to draw out time before Orion's death. (For those of you who didn't know it was coming...oops spoiler?)**

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><p>Taking a taxi was the best way to get to the bar, the whole time in the cab Sirius was glancing out the window drumming his fingers against his leg. It wasn't often Sirius found himself in a car, rolling down London streets. And the way the lights danced against the glass made a beautiful picture.<p>

Remus was sitting across from him, just watching him. He felt sometimes Sirius didn't understand just how beautiful he was. His constant movement was just one of the few things Remus always thought was rather sexy, weither it was a foot tapping or drumming his fingers. It was that bit of constant movement that let Remus know Sirius was happy. If the boy was ever still something was gravely wrong.

"Remy?"

"Yes," Remus didn't break his line of sight as Sirius continued to stare out the window. "Think we could walk home tonight?"

"Are you going to be sober enough to walk four miles?"

"Good point," Sirius laughed as he smiled looking back at Remus, "What?" he raised an eyebrow "something on me?"

"No, just…taking in the beauty." Remus chuckled leaning back. He rolled his eyes at Sirius' chuckle. "London is beautiful isn't it? No place I'd rather be." Sirius smiled.

There were times Remus could swear Sirius ignored his looks on purpose. Despite the smile that slipped on his face "Nor I."

When the two boys finally reached Piccadilly Sirius' fingers drummed harder, and Remus' grin grew wider. His heart raced with the beat of Sirius' fingers, the lights glare that touched Sirius' face caused him to glow. That was a picture Remus could get used to for the rest of his life.

"Come on daydreamer," Sirius called as the car stopped in front of the bar. Once out Sirius paid the cabbie and the two looked up at the sign the two shared identical grins as Sirius opened the door, "after you."

Remus slipped inside and shook his head; of course this was one of Sirius' favorite places. Despite dating a bloke Sirius couldn't help but admire the dancers that twirled around not only on the stages but out on the floor. Of course Remus would be lying if he didn't think half of them were attractive, just none of them beat Sirius.

Remus went to take a step forward to the floor before Sirius linked his arm and pulled him forward to the bar. "Nope drink first!"

Sirius smiled at the man across the bar, the place was lit up with lights that danced with the sounds of the music that poured out of the loudspeakers. It really was a rather lovely place, despite being a very crowded bar.

"Lionel!" Sirius called over the bar as the man turned and faced him. "Oi Black! What are you doin' here!" the man gave him a big grin as he walked over shaking his hand, "Your lucky Angel ain't here mate, he'd skin you alive. Ditch his little sister like you did last time."

"Hey that lil minx of his can't take a bloody hint!" Sirius laughed pulling Remus up close. "Still with him are you?" Lionel chuckled looking Remus over, "You wait till you're done with 'em I'll snatch him up."

"Oi! I am not someone's prize. Besides I doubt you could beat Sirius here," Remus chuckled. Sirius beamed with pride. "Brainwashed this one, eh?"

"Not brainwashed," Remus smiled. "Thoroughly fucked and loved."

Lionel gave a hearty laugh before swatting at a man who reached over the bar. "Give me a moment fella's Harvey's girl here just ran and left him with nothing."

It took Lionel twenty minutes to get back from his duties at the bar, sliding the two boys a drink. Remus eyed the drink with a curious glance they were black in color and smelled like honey. But something about the drink caused him to second guess it.

"Their called Black Cats," Lionel chuckled watched the two boys eye their drinks like opposing wands. "Lil bit of firewhiskey, Dragon's breath and honey oil." Sirius eyed the drink one more time before taking it with one head toss had it down. He shuttered as he glared at Lionel.

"Black Cat's eh?"

"Aye, you heard me right." he smiled, "I promise no tricks! My own creation."

"Sounds about like it. Go on Remus take a swig it's harmless." Sirius smiled, "bring me another you magical mixer you. That actually was a rather interesting drink."

Remus sighed and took a sip; it wasn't something he normally drank. Typically it was a firewhiskey or butterbeer. Once in the while something muggle or a Winged Scotch but this was something he'd never really imagined drinking.

"Not half bad is it," Lionel leaned over the counter eyeing Remus like he was prey. "Hey…my man, get your own." Sirius snorted pulling Remus closer. Lionel was normally a harmless flirt but there were times he tended to step on Sirius' toes and it never ended well. Lionel put his hands up, "Just watching him is all. I'm a good lad I swear."

"Better be," Sirius took another drink and smiled. "So what's the news down in here Dilly?"

"Nothing much, heard about your brother, sorry bout that." Sirius nodded and sighed, "Yea it's a shame…really."

"It's Halloween," Remus chuckled. "Buck up, let's celebrate."

"Yes" Lionel grinned, "Go out and dance be sexy. Though you already are so…make yourselves all sexier." he laughed. "I'll sit here behind the bar and be bored."

Sirius took Remus' hand and grinned, "You do that Leo. Come on love, dance time." Remus' groans of protest went unnoticed, because soon the two were grinding against each other their bodies moving with the music.

The music thundered over their heads as they laughed dancing together, it felt good just to get in the middle of a crowd of happy people. Who were just lost in the music and the moment, to lose themselves, to forget who they were other than who they were in that moment.

They were lovers and best friends and right now pressed against one another they just were. They were madly in love, young and crazy. And nothing in this world was going to bring them down. And it felt pretty damn good to be there, the two of them wrapped in each others arms and dancing there.

The danced and drank for hours, it was well after midnight when the two sat back down for good. Remus was drenched in sweat when he sat down again that the bar leaning rather heavily on Sirius, the two were laughing over something that had been said on the way back to the barstool.

"Seems you two had a rather well off time." Lionel chuckled as he cleaned a glass.

Sirius rolled his eyes as he tapped the bar, "Two more of your lovely drink. Before I drag Remus off for some more of that rated R dancing of his." Sirius purred nipping at Remus' ear. Lionel rolled his eyes before he tended to his drink making.

"I was thinking," Remus twirled Sirius' dog tags between his fingers, "why don't we head home and, do something more…" Remus pulled Sirius close to him and purred, "X rated."

Sirius' eyes widened as any brain function ceased and desisted and the blood ran to his loins like thoroughbreds running the Kentucky Derby. He gave a quiet groan before giving Remus one of his signature secret smiles.

The glasses clinking on the counter caused Sirius to shiver, one more drink and it'd be home and, he glanced and Remus and threw his drink back. He would be wiggling under his man in a few moments. "Leo, be a good man and get my bill. Remus and I are about to head out."

"I thought-"

"Change of plans," Remus purred running his fingers over the rim of his also drowned glass. Lionel starred at him wide eyed before he shook his head, "lucky bastards." He chuckled.

Remus took to the streets to hail a cab while Sirius paid; his body was running hot, and both from the idea of Sirius soon and the alcohol that was now pulsing through his veins. God it felt good to be in love, and to be loved back. Then a thought struck him, in a dazed foggy thought, how long had he and Sirius been together? Had they missed any anniversaries?

His thoughts were stopped by a pair of warm arms around him, "home." Sirius purred in his ear as a cab finally pulled to the side of the road. Remus stumbled into the cab chuckling as Sirius, who had clearly handled Lionel's concoction better than Remus had given an address.

Remus leaned against Sirius' shoulder the whole ride home, toying with him. His fingers constantly moving, touching Sirius' legs, arms, chest. And once in a while he'd place a soft kiss on Sirius' neck. Typically the man had no problem with showing public affection. But now, he squirmed and eyed Remus through the corners of his eyes. Remus was more than riled up. And Sirius would be lying if he wasn't just a little bit fearful of his lover's new found fire.

The pair couldn't even get up to their floor before Remus had him pinned against a wall devouring his mouth, and Sirius put up little fight. Only when one of the women who were a tenant on that floor told them to get a room did they pull their shirts back over their heads and slowly climb the stairs.

First landing spot for the two when they returned was the couch, after pushing Lari away from the couch did Remus shove Sirius down and bite and lick at his throat as he tore Sirius' shirt from his body. His mouth was like a fever to Sirius' body. Arching and groaning to the warmth that was licking his nipple.

"Remus," Sirius panted huskily, Remus answered his pant by grinding against Sirius' already aching body. Sirius' teeth sunk into his lip as he bit down on his arching up. Who was this and what had they done to Remus Lupin?

He gasped when Remus unstraddled him and walked towards the bedroom, "come get me," he purred as he walked. Sirius went lightheaded as he took to his feet and raced after Remus. Remus gave him a grin as he crawled up on the bed. And soon they were at it again.

Sirius was on his back, arched up and groaning as Remus ran hot kisses over his body. Sirius' pants were thrown somewhere past the bed, lost in the darkness of their room. Remus was about to go down on him when he looked up at Sirius to see his eyes shut.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered he nudged the boy and Sirius gave out a sigh. Out cold.

"You're fucking kidding me right?" Remus flopped back on the bed and glared at his now peacefully sleeping lover, he had half an intent to grab his wand and drown his ass in freezing cold water, right there on his still rather active cock.

But he decided against it, his now tired body simply refused the idea. And after changing he curled into bed, gave Sirius another dirty look before snuggling close to him "Tomorrow your gonna pay me back, asshole" and with another humph of aggravation closed his eyes. Yes tomorrow morning would come and Sirius Black would pay for it.


	38. Don't You Know?

**Almost to chapter fourty...geeze this is a long fanfic. I'm hoping you guys are enjoying it thus far! I'm hoping the next year and a half of this story go by quicker XD or at least don't seem to drag on. **

**I also have a question, those of you who read daily (or at least rather frequently) when do you guys have exams? (if your still in school) I was planning on taking a week's break. And I figured I'd do that while you all were preparing for your exams. But yea if you don't have exams that's cool I was just curious. Enjoy the chapter!**

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><p>Sirius had brushed his teeth for the third time "Really Remus! I have work this morning!" he shouted as he spit the remains of the toothpaste from his mouth, "seriously can you NOT read!"<p>

"I most certainly can!" Remus snapped from the door way, arms crossed over his chest spatacula in hand, "it's not my fault YOU put back BAD milk! I told you yesterday to pick up milk on the way home; that the carton you left in there was bad!"

"You could have gotten it!"

"I had a meeting with Dumbledore! That's where I was last night remember!"

"Yea yea, whatever." Sirius wiped his face; he'd been too busy this morning eating nasty milk and cereal to shave and was supporting a five o'clock shadow. "I need to get to work." Sirius grumbled as he walked by placed a kiss on Remus' cheek. "I love you, see you later. And PLEASE! Get milk?"

"I will," Remus chuckled giving him a quick peck back. He watched the boy leave the flat before rolling his eyes. "Serves him right," he grumbled to Lari as he finished making his own breakfast. "Stupid mutt, not you sorry dear. I mean your father…ridiculous man!" he chuckled as she looked at him; there were times Remus was too used to Sirius understanding every word he said as a dog. Poor Lari didn't stand a chance.

Remus had waited well after two for the post, which still hadn't arrived. He and Sirius had a bet on who would win the next spot for the World Cup. Remus was for his home team for Scotland and Sirius per usual claimed no one would beat England. Whoever's team one was the master of the other. And there was no doubt in Remus' mind that Scotland for once in his life might just destroy England.

It worried him some that Tenebris was rather late, the owl was never late. Despite his instincts Remus left a window open, for the owl to slip inside. It looked like it was going to rain and he didn't want the poor bird stuck outside till he got back from running errands.

He was out walking London streets in the pouring rain; it had been his rotten luck. He should have just popped into one of the bathroom stalls of the market got what he needed and popped right back to his flat. But no he couldn't do that, no instead he walked through the middle of London as thunder rumbled overhead. It had started out such a beautiful day too.

Hands full of groceries Remus did his best not to trip and fall on his wet clothes. His hair was plastered to his face which made it hard to see. He really needed a hair cut, after the third failed attempt to shake his hair out of his face he gave up and did his best to continue walking forward.

Upon opening the door he could see Tenebris had finally returned "there you are!" Remus smiled at the bird, "I waited all morni- what's a matter?" The owl wasn't giving Remus the normal attention he did. Not even a single chirp in welcome. Remus set the groceries down on the counter and looked the bird over. Nothing was wrong, no scratches, no broken or injured wings. He didn't seem sick.

He untied the mail to his leg keeping an eye on the bird as he lazily flipped through the mail. It was most of Sirius' mail though bills here and there and finally the Daily Prophet. Remus grinned as he sat down and flipped through it.

He was about to flip the page to the Quidditch scores when Tenebris put his talon in the middle of the page and gave Remus a soft hoot. Remus looked from the orange eyes of the bird down to the page. It was the first page of the obituaries; he gave the owl another look. Apparently Tenebris knew something Remus did not.

He let his eyes glance the page before right there in black and white his heart stopped. He shook his head as he starred at the paper,

**Orion M. Black **

**May 16****th**** 1929 - October 29****th**** 1979**

_Orion Black was found this morning sitting in his office_

_In his home in Grimmauld place by his wife Walburga._

_It seems he suffered-_

_Remus could no longer read it as he shut the paper. He rubbed his face as he let himself sit down at one of the chairs at the table, "Was this why you were late?" he asked the bird who answered with another soft hoot. _

_Remus didn't know Orion well, that was fact but what he did know about him was that Sirius loved his father. It hadn't even been four months since his brother and now Sirius would lose yet another family member he loved. He hoped he didn't know he hoped he was having a good day and that it waited till he got home. He held his emotions in as he sat there starring at the paper, it wasn't but two weeks ago Orion was at his own table._

_He swallowed another pain of grief as he rubbed his temples again, and Sirius had just begun to heal…_

"_Darren!" Sirius called as he knocked on the older man's office door. "I heard you had results?" Sirius strode in giving him a wide smile. "I'd like to know just what horrible thing decided to make my couch a scratching post."_

_Darren looked up from his paperwork and gave Sirius a confused glance, "I didn't think you'd be in today?"_

"_Why?" Sirius looked at him, "You said a week right? Or did I hear you wrong. It's quite possible I did. I've been rather-"_

"_No you heard me right it's just….Nevermind"_

_Sirius shrugged and sat down in one of the chairs facing his desk. "So my answers? I'd like to know what came in my flat. Ya see they've personally pissed me off and-"_

"_I have no idea what came in your flat. It's not a werewolf SO that's a plus." Darren smiled leaning forward, "It's stumped quite a few people in the office here, at first it was a person favor then more cases like this have popped up all over Britain. I think we have some sort of serial raider or something."_

"_You can be a serial raider? Like what…like a pirate?"_

"_Not…exactly." Darren rubbed the back of his neck as his office door slowly shut. "I really shouldn't be talking to you about this. But I feel like you should know, you're the only home who's been attack that anyone who lives there is alive."_

_Sirius felt himself go pale as he leaned forward, "what are you saying?"_

"_I'm saying I think we've entered Death Eater territory, and these are high ranked ones at best. They don't leave a trace of personal identifications on them, not an ounce. No spell can be traced not a hair nothing. Just, attack and poof gone."_

"_And all of Britain doesn't know this because?"_

"_They've seemed to have stopped; the rumor around the office is their hunting for information. Like…ministry information. What would you have they needed? The last I heard your family didn't talk to you about their matters."_

"_My father came by recently…" Sirius frowned, "talking about his place in the ministry…if anything was to happen to him."_

"_What do they want with Mysteries? All that's down there is…"_

"_Hall of prophecies, it's locked to anyone without my father's permission. If they had whatever it is that keeps it secret they could easily get into it?" Sirius leaned back, "the probably thought I had it."_

_Darren nodded, "Do you have it?"_

_Sirius shrugged as he ran a hand through his hair, "I doubt it, and my dad would keep everything a secret till he died. He wouldn't want yet another son he'd have to bury."_

"_This is true," Darren leaned back in his chair before sighing, "You're the only link to whatever and whoever is doing this. Really they've stopped as of two nights ago, so…either they found something interesting or You-Know-Who is planning."_

"_Plan all he wants, we won't let him win."_

"_No we won't."_

_Sirius turned the key to the flat happy to be home after the long day, and lucky to have missed the calling for a graveyard shift. Though he wasn't exactly sure why, James had been called into the graveyard shift, and normally the pair always worked together. The entire ministry had been acting fickle today, which caused Sirius' mindset to be waiting for trouble._

"_Remy?" Sirius called as he stepped across the doorframe, he felt like he was pulling a trip wire as he stepped across the thresh. His eyes landed on an owl that was perched on Tenebris' normal post. It was an older owl but looked identical to Tenebris, which only meant one thing. Tied to his leg was a scroll, was this is bad news?_

_He took a step forward just as Remus called his name. Remus poked his head out of the office door and looked oddly at the new owl he hadn't noticed. "Sirius? When did you get in?"_

"_Few moments ago," Sirius ran his fingers over the owl's feathers; this was his father's owl. That only left his side in urgent times. "'Ello Ghost, what does my father need now?" The owl turned his dark orange eyes to him and gave a sad hoot before nuzzling his side. Sirius chuckled and continued to rub his fingers through the owl's soft feathers. "That so? Why all the sadness?"_

"_You don't know?" Remus asked wringing his wrists, "No one talked to you today?"_

"_Ya know," Sirius looked away from the parchment in his hand, "that's the fourth time I've heard that today, care to enlighten me?"_

"_You might want to sit down, I'll show you." Remus went to grab the prophet, but stopped as Sirius laughed. "Who else knows about our little bet? Did you spread the word when you found out?"_

_Remus shook his head, "I wish it were that." The grim tone to his voice caused Sirius' laughter to cease. "Sirius, just…come sit down."_

_Sirius looked to the owl, then to Tenebris who was perched one of the other perches in the house; he was curled up in his own feathers. "Remus…this isn't funny."_

"_No joke love, come here." Remus patted the seat beside him, "We need to talk."_


	39. Fallen

**I'm really hoping once I get out of 1979 my muse will kick back up. I always feel like I am giving you guys crap. But I really hope that's just me being picky about the story XD. Enjoy guys :)**

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><p>Sirius' mind ran a mile per minute; those words never went well together. His mind wasn't making much sense. Did Remus really want a break…or worse? Had him not getting the milk been that bad! Had he missed more things? What had he done wrong? His mind sputtered over idea's maybe he hadn't been caring enough or loyal? Maybe he'd really done something wrong he just kept missing?<p>

"What'd I do wrong, look whatever it is we can fix this!"

Remus starred at him before taking a deep sigh. "I doubt you can, really. Come sit over here." Remus again patted the seat beside him. Sirius' heart fell into his stomach as he started walking.

This was it, it was all over. Happy ever after doesn't really exist. He shouldn't have expected his happy life to last too long. It never did, give it the turn of the clock and it'd come falling down on him, his hands shook as he sat down. "Please Remus, look we don't have to break up we can jus-"

"What are you talking about?" Remus held the prophet in his hands, "have you really not looked today?"

"Looked at what?" Sirius' mind stopped mid thought, what the hell was going on?

"No one honestly said anything; this strong happy thing isn't a mask?"

"No Remus why the hell would it be a mask! Are you gonna tell me or what?"

Remus flipped open the page and handed the prophet to him. "You'll see what I'm talking about."

Sirius looked over the paper, the obiticuaries, his heart sank. What would he be missing here? Wasn't everyone he cared about ok? James hadn't said anything about his parents; Peter was fine he'd written him a few days ago. Lily and James were fine, Regulus was dead…he looked to Remus. "No, na uh I don't believe this." Sirius pushed the paper away. Everyone was checked off the list but one. There were others he would have heard of but only one person would affect him in general.

"Sirius please…just…read it. It'll help."

"Help what Remus? It's a joke I could write him RIGHT now and he'd answer me! In a heartbeat!"

"I'd dare you to try but I'd rather not watch you wait all night for a letter that won't come." Remus' eyes rang true and Sirius stared at the folded Daily Prophet, the front line was about some new magical discovery. He swallowed the picture seemed happy but he knew hidden deep within its depths was something Sirius never wanted to read.

He sat back down after a few minutes and took a deep breath, he couldn't fight it. Nor could he hold it off, he flipped back to where Remus had once held the paper open…

**Orion M. Black **

**May 16****th**** 1929 - October 29****th**** 1979**

_Orion Black was found this morning sitting in his office_

_in his home in Grimmauld place by his wife Walburga._

_It seems he suffered a heart attack earlier this morning._

_It seems it was peaceful and he didn't suffer._

_Orion earlier this year lost his youngest son._

_Which is what seems to have been the major cause,_

_any father in this rough time only fears to be in Orion's_

_shoes._

_He is remembered by his wife Walburga, his sister Lucretia,_

_And his oldest son Sirius. As well as the rest of the Black family._

Sirius swallowed as he read his name, whoever had written the column had included him. Despite his family issues he was proud someone had remembered to add him to the list._ The rest of the column included where and when the wake would be. And where he would be buried. He took a deep breath, he wasn't sure if he could attend that._

_He was jarred from his thinking as he felt Remus wrap his arms around him, it was then he realized he'd been crying and the prophet in front of him was now stained in tears. He leaned against Remus and let out a cry before he clung to him and sobbed. He was now all alone; his uncle had passed away during his sixth year at Hogwarts. His brother passed away this summer and now his father. _

_He was the last Black male standing. And no one knew how heartbreaking that really was. He might not have been tight with his family, but…they were still family. And one never truly forgets family._

_They sat in the quiet for a few hours, Remus just held onto Sirius as he sobbed. Remus couldn't put himself in Sirius' shoes. He'd never been close to his outside family and his parents were very well and healthy living in Scotland. And here sat Sirius the last able man to the Black family name. It had to be a heavy burden._

"_I wonder if my mother will write me, declare I get rid of my current lover and find a new one. One with ovaries ya know…for the family." Sirius laughed shaking his head. "Since now she's all that's really left. The rest of the family hates me. Well…so does she but, someone has to keep the name running?"_

"_Are you trying to tell me you want to leave me, or did you want me to get a sex change?"_

_Sirius looked up, his face stained with tears, his cheeks and eyes were puffy, but there was a small smile on his face. "Can they do that?" he couldn't have hidden the chuckle if he'd wanted to._

"_I don't really want to find out," Remus rubbed his chin as he chuckled, "My legs wouldn't look very pretty in a skirt, and you'd get rather bored."_

"_Your right," Sirius looked down at Remus' legs and shook his head, "you'd look dreadful in a skirt plus your shoulders are too wide for a dress…you'd be a very unattractive woman."_

"_Thanks honey, remind me never to come to you for a compliment," Remus pushed him but laughed. It was good to hear Sirius' laughter. Despite his father's passing it was good to know he could still smile, even for a little while. Though Remus figured once the shock wore off, he'd be a total mess. _

"_But your very pretty man?" Sirius chuckled before snuggling close to Remus. "Yea yea, whatever kiss ass." Remus chuckled running his fingers through Sirius' hair. He heard the boy sniffle again, and was expecting him to cry. "I don't know what I'm gonna do Remus…I just…so much-"_

"_Shh…" Remus put his finger over Sirius' lips, "Just…let's worry about grieving now. Your father's business can wait."_

"_Hold my hand." Sirius held out his hand and Remus quickly took it, he felt Sirius shutter again as a new wave of grief rushed over Sirius. _

_Remus listened to him cry into the wee hours of the morning, he'd changed his position and had curled up in Remus' lap and cried his heart out. Until he could cry no more then he sniffled himself to sleep. Remus watched as the morning sun slowly began to fill the flat's living room. _

_Remus laid his head in Sirius' hair as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. He couldn't look down at Sirius without feeling grief and upset. Sirius was too good of a person to have to suffer the way he was. He had so much ahead of him now, a part of Remus thought Sirius' father was greedy, for leaving his burdens on his oldest son. _

_But the better, less emotional part of Remus knew better. He knew Orion had fought long and hard, and just a man can only take so many blows before he finally falls over. With a glance down at Sirius, Remus wondered how many blows Sirius could take, he hoped he was invincible, because he couldn't imagine one day without him. And if that day was to ever come, Remus knew it would be his own last blow before he too, crumbled into defeat._


	40. New Life

**Bah! FF has been fighting me the past HOUR trying to post this...so hopefully it'll reach your inboxes. If not...sorry XD I almost depated not putting it up today with it being so frustrating but I figured I'd try my best to get it up to you guys. I hope you like this chapter. **

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><p>It had been two weeks since Orion's passing, and Sirius was handling it as well as one could. There were times when he was all alone, or when he was just with Remus he would grieve. But other than that Sirius kept a strong face and worked through it.<p>

Remus wasn't sure if it was so he didn't end up back down and depressed as he was after his brother, or if it was the simple fact Sirius had not went to the wake and had not been to the gravesite. He wondered if the boy was living in denial.

The truth was Sirius was numb; it was almost like he didn't feel anything. With the loss of Regulus still so fresh in his mind he didn't really know how to react to the loss of his father. Sure it still hurt like hell, but…how does one react?

With his brother it was easy, he'd been with Regulus since the day he was born and they'd shared so much. It also didn't help that Regulus had most likely been killed instead of just, falling asleep really. But the main problem was Sirius had been very involved with his brother's life. Where as his father, well…that's the thing it was his father.

He'd miss him, and now without him here he wouldn't really have anyone to turn to, other than Harold but, it seemed rather off to go to him. And there was so much secret family business he now had to tend to. Sirius didn't know if he cold handle it. He hadn't even glanced at the folder his father had given him a few months ago.

He was curious as to see what was inside but he didn't really care to get into that sort of business yet. It still was lying in Remus' office filed away with other important things. Though he hadn't messed with his father's finances both he and Remus were now living off of Alphard's second round of gold as well as whatever money Orion had stored away for them. And they'd already paid back James what they owed so at least that was one burden off of their shoulders.

"Remus come on," Sirius whined as he stood outside of one of the many dressing rooms. "I said we could go get you some new clothes not a whole new wardrobe!"

"Sirius, I only tried on ONE pair of pants and you like clothes shopping."

"Yea when it's me." Sirius glanced down at his watch and sighed heavily. "Today would be nice."

"If you don't shut up!" Remus walked out of the dressing room and looked at himself in the mirror before turning to Sirius who shrugged. "Ya know, if you didn't want to come with me you could have stayed home. Day off and all I figured we'd spend some time together."

"Well we can…just…I'm bored."

"They have toys over there," Remus motioned the tike's corner with a grin, Sirius glared at him. "What their at your brain level."

"Bugger off!" Sirius sat down on one of the stools in the back and leaned against the wall, "how much left?"

"Just ten more minutes, should be all it takes." And he was back in the dressing room, Sirius rolled his eyes.

He hadn't really been paying that much attention to what Remus had walked out in, he knew they were jeans but that was about it. His mind really hadn't been on much of anything lately. He'd been spacey and silent for the past few days now. And he couldn't figure out what was eating him exactly. It might have to do with the letter he'd gotten a few days after his father's passing. A letter from Gringott's which at first worried him, but as he thought about it. They couldn't do a damn thing to whatever his father left him. So he was curious as to what they needed to see him for. Hadn't his father given him everything he could have at the moment?

"What about these?" Remus' voice pulled Sirius from his thoughts as he looked up wide eyed. Remus was a cruel man standing there in a skirt though he was laughing as Sirius starred. "What? You like this frilly thing?"

"It's been a while since I've been under a skirt." Sirius laughed a smile slipping onto his face. Remus rolled his eyes shaking his head. "I'll go get a kilt first." before ducking back into the dressing room. "Is that a promise?"

Sirius was hit in the head with the same pink skirt Remus had had on he laughed as he placed it back on the return rack. For now he'd stay focused on Remus, later when he was sitting behind a desk would he worry about anything else.

It was November tenth before he gave the letter even another glance, he'd told Remus he might take care of it today at lunch but as it was now half past twelve he'd decided it could wait. Rubbing his forehead as he stretched from his desk he sighed. Where the hell was James? He'd been late or at least hadn't showed up this morning. Luckily he wasn't needed since nothing was really happening today.

Just as he was about to sit back down in his chair he felt arms wrap around him and squeeze "I DID IT!" Sirius couldn't hear for a few moments before he shook his head, he still wasn't sure of who exactly was holding him so tight until he was spun around and starred at James Potter, whose hazel eyes were as wide like a cat's when they were out in the sun. "I CAN"T BELIEVE IT!"

"Calm down mate!" Sirius rubbed his ears as he pulled himself away, "Use your inside voice, and catch your breath before you scream at me again." Sirius was smiling none the less as James gave him a wide grin. "It's Lily!"

"Um yea…you did that what…last September? I can't remember."

"No no!" James shook his head laughing, "I mean…Sirius…your about to be a Godfather" he grinned a wide grin. Sirius starred at him before chuckling, "She really let you get a dog?"

James' face looked no where near amused as he punched Sirius in the arm. "You jackass! I mean a baby!" James practically danced on air as he grinned madly. "She found out this morning!"

Sirius looked at James like he'd grown two heads, "you mean all those hits to the balls and you STILL can make babies?" he grinned as he wrapped his arm around James' shoulders.

"You're an asshole, why did I even want to tell you." James smiled none the less. "I mean…were not for sure, ya know she could skip her monthly with stress…and with a war."

"When are you going to the doctor for it?" Sirius asked, as he pulled James out of the office. This called for a celebration. He waved to the captain as he stepped out as he and James made their way to the elevator.

"Were going come December, oh I can't believe it! Mum and dad are gonna lose it! They've wanted grand kids for ages." James bounced along side Sirius, "can you believe it I'm really gonna be a dad."

"I pity the poor child; I hope it's a boy. You'll be useless to a girl." James gave him a punch to the arm but grinned none the less. "Lily want's a boy; he says it'll ease me into another one."

"Oh yes, because it'd take so much twisting of your arm to have another kid." Sirius chuckled shaking his head. "How is Lils about all of this? I bet it's pretty scary."

"Course it is, what type of idiots have a baby during a war?" James sighed, "I'm rather nervous myself. I mean…we see day to day…"

Sirius was hailing a cab as he shook his head. "Prongs, shut up! Don't ruin the moment. Enjoy the idea of a baby before you crush it like a bug. Just…carpe diem" James raised an eyebrow. "Seize the day." Sirius chuckled, "in other words, enjoy it. It only happens once."

"Unless you have another," James wiggled his eyebrows.

"Won't happen for the first time again how does that sound." Sirius laughed.

On the way home Sirius bought two bouquets of flowers, one for Remus as silly as it sounded. And the other as a congratulations present for Lily. Even if it wasn't for certain, it was still rather thoughtful.

"Oi, lover boy!" Sirius called as he walked inside the flat, "I have a present for you."

Remus walked out of the bedroom grinning, "and I have good news!" he said in a sing song sort of way.

"I bet I have better news!" Sirius replied in the same way.

"Aww flowers!" Remus smiled as he looked over the yellow roses Sirius had already sorted inside of a glass vase, "for me?" He smiled placing a kiss on Sirius' cheek, "who's the other batch for?"

"It's part of my good news." Sirius smiled, "you first."

"Lily's gonna have a baby!"

"I KNOW! Isn't it...hey how do you know?"

"That was your news?" Remus tilted his head, "let me guess you didn't go to Gringotts today?"

"No and yes it was my news" Sirius grinned as he nudged Tenebris awake. "Take this to one Mrs. Lily Potter; make sure she reads the note on them." The owl gave a sigh before taking off into the cool autumn night.

"Why what did it say?" Remus chuckled as he ran his fingers over one of the petals on his own roses.

"Dear Mrs. Potter,

I am afraid to inform you the child you are carrying that belongs to my best friend just might be relatively stupid. I send my condolences rather early I am aware but I figured I'd best warn you well in advance.

Just kidding! (I hope that made you laugh Lily!) Congratulations Lils, it's about time we had someone new in the group!

Signed Sirius and Remus with a little hard in the end."

Remus laughed as he shook his head, "you're terrible, I bet Lily will love it."

"I hope so! I thought it was rather clever."

"It was," Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck. "It's good to hear you laugh, you know that?" Sirius smiled placing a kiss on Remus' nose. "I'm glad you like it."

"Keep it up for years to come. And tomorrow." Remus poked Sirius in the chest. "Go to Gringotts! I am fed up with their owls by now."

Sirius laughter filled the room as Remus pointed to the pile of letters that was lying on the kitchen table; it was about time he dealt with it.


	41. Dealing With It

**UGH I about give up, I really do. The site is having a fun time not working for me. So if randomly chapters aren't up it's the site being retarded. It finally started working for me at 1:10am my time...so yea. Sorry XD**

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><p>Sirius stood in front of the white building, and breathed a rough sigh. He'd taken the day off to handle all of this business. And for once in his life despite being able to sleep in, he'd much rather been a work. He looked down at the letter in his hands and frowned, this was not what he wanted to do. Why was he the only child left? Oh right…<p>

As he climbed the marble steps he grumbled, why couldn't his aunt handle this? Oh right because she was off somewhere, in Wales he believed. Then again where would she stay? Lucretia hated Walburga and Walburga hated her. So there was no chance his favorite aunt would be helping him much. Even though she was still purebloodist she loved her nephews and despite Sirius' rebel stage still cared for him.

When he stepped inside one of the coat racks reached out its arm to take Sirius' leather jacket. Looking around the room he gave another sigh. He'd never hated the building or the goblins that ran the establishment, it was rather the opposite he really liked their company. Or at least the Black families goblin.

"Mr. Black!"

Sirius turned his head and smiled, at least someone was in a good mood. The goblin walked towards him before taking his hand. "Glad to see you too Falnok," Sirius chuckled as the small goblin pulled him towards the back door then down the halls.

They took a left turn down a hall that was titled 'Pureblood offices' and as he walked down the hall Sirius noticed many of the gold painted names on the doors. They didn't pass many because soon they were at the door labeled 'Black Family Office' and Falnok opened the door, "after you Mr. Black." he smiled. Sirius gave him a quick bow before stepping inside the room.

"I can tell my mother's been here." Sirius chuckled as Falnok gave a hand movement and a candle upon the desk flickered to life. "Yes, two days ago how did you know?" He chuckled hopping into his chair, placing his glasses on his face, "Sit, sit!"

"I can smell her perfume," Sirius sighed, "One never forgets that smell. I feel sorry for you having to sit here day in and day out smelling it." Sirius took a seat in one of the dark green Victorian style chairs and took a deep breath. He rubbed his face before leaning forward. "Be straight with me Falnok, what exactly am I needed for?"

Falnok chuckled as he opened the file in front of him, "it was only bad the first few hours after she was here. You must have a fantastic sense of smell. And you're needed for quite a few things. Your father did much in secret before he passed. Your mother was not at all too kind with the words she used when speaking about your father."

"Old hag," Sirius hissed rolling his eyes. "What did she say?"

"Back stabbing bastard, ungrateful piss, and the like. You know your mother."

"I do, unfortunately. What did he leave me then?" Sirius leaned back taking a deep breath, mentally picturing his mother inside this very office ranting and raving about what her husband had done to her. "Though really, I have no idea why she threw such a fit…oh wait Nevermind I do. She always wanted Bellatrix to take everything. Always was her little pet."

"That's exactly what she said," Falnok laughed flipping through the pages in his file. "She was sure Bellatrix being the oldest and still inherited, she would inherit whatever your father left behind. Though I can assure you nothing of your mothers goes to you. She made very sure of that before she left."

"It all goes to Bella; I'm well aware where it all goes. Though, she'll have to try and beat my father's protection Charms he placed Bellatrix won't be able to touch anything that wasn't hers to give away."

"As I tried to explain, but Walburga was never one to listen. Instead she insisted since the house was now in her name it went to Bellatrix. Which you and I both know is not the case. I believe you came with your father when he wrote that down."

"I did, that was years ago through. Father was always rather sneaky."

"And he always wondered where you and Regulus got it from." Falnok chuckled as he ran his fingers through his graying hair. He gave a deep sigh, "before we start I must offer my sincerest apologies for the loss of not only your father but Regulus as well. I've been the family's goblin since before even Orion was born. It was a rather hard blow for me as well, seeing the two of them go from babies to adults." The goblin looked out the clouded window and sighed, Sirius let him go back in his mind as he himself tried his best to keep his composure, this was half of the reason he hated coming here today. Falnok was one of the friendliest goblins, at least to him anyway. Which honestly might have had to do with Sirius pranking the Lestrange family goblin after Bellatrix was married off. Bad blood was always between the two goblins and Sirius just happened to catch wind of it.

"Yea," Sirius finally whispered as he found his words, "it was rather hard…still is. But life goes on, and that's the only way I can really look at it." The goblin nodded as he turned back to Sirius. "So where shall we begin."

Sirius pulled a folder from within his pants pocket and with a mumbled spell it grew to normal size. "My father dropped this off to me a few months before he died. Maybe not even, I don't exactly remember. He told me it would open when he died, but it's yet to give way. Now I know he's dead for a fact but…"

Falnok took it from his hands and examined it, "your father was always one for riddles and puzzles. One of the most cryptic of the purebloods I can assure you. Which he inherited from his father…when Arcturus died I was pulling my hair out with his codes. Luckily you father figured them out, otherwise I'd still be trying." Sirius chuckled, "but I don't know Sirius, this…is not like your father. Are you sure he gave it to you?" Sirius gave the goblin a look before nodding, "I'd bet my soul to it."

"Then there must be a key." Falnok rubbed his chin as he looked over the folder not missing a single inch of space on it. "Honestly I have no idea, there actually are pages and pages in the folder he gave me that are blank. And no matter how many times I've tried to throw them out they come back. SO he must be playing us, even in the grave."

Sirius laughed as Falnok handed the folder back to him, "wouldn't surprise me. Dad would want this puzzle to last me as long as my mother will last."

"I'd hope not, there is much to settle. One of the things that went straight to you was his position in the ministry."

Sirius paled, that was one of the last things Sirius wanted to handle. Regulus died because of this position, and he didn't want his hands in it. How many people would he be setting up for death if he took this position? He was a wanted man by Voldemort himself, he rubbed his forehead. "Of course he settled me with this."

"He told me only you could have it. No matter what, and if you didn't want it only you could find a replacement. I-I know what happened with Regulus. Orion came to me after his death and explained everything. That was the day we sat down and really went through everything. He would not let Regulus' death be in vain."

Sirius nodded before sitting up and taking a deep breath, time to stop acting like a child. "What does it all in tell, he never really informed me."

"Nor I, honestly I think it's all in these blank pages and in your folder. He couldn't explain much, your father was afraid. Which in all of my life I've never seen him afraid. Maybe it was with Regulus' death, who knows. All I know is he started being very secretive about everything."

"Great…dad gets paranoid when we need him to be a straight shooter."

"In all of my years it's one thing I've learned with your lot, they all get crazy when you need them to be sane."

"Thanks Falnok I'll tell the family you send your love."

Falnok laughed, "Oh Sirius, you know I mean no harm. Just imagine having to handle your finances day in and day out year after year. By the way, your mother wanted a list of that, as well as your own. Be careful with your secondary vault." The tone of the goblin in front of him was serious, "how does she know?"

"She doesn't, well not exactly. But she suspects, and when I couldn't make up for the lost money she wasn't very happy with your father."

"When was she ever happy?"

"Before you were born really, then again even then she wasn't too happy."

"Good to know my birth was the cause of her problems."

Falnok laughed as he shook his head, "Anyway just don't be stupid. Don't try and buy Buckingham Palace or anything like that."

"There's that much money in there? Bloody hell."

"No there isn't but you get my point."

"I do," Sirius chuckled. "While we're on the subject of money, you know you have your 'hidden money' from your father. Of course as well as your second round of Alphard's money." Sirius nodded, "Well good, because until your mother passes that's what you have to live off of. That's one of the things Orion snuck in. Which caused your mother to lose her temper."

"It's not like she needs it when she dies! Nor do Bellatrix or Narcissa."

"Neither Lestrange or Malfoy have near as much gold as the Black's. Both families are relatively new, compared to the centuries old Black family. Which is why she threw such a fit. How could her blood traitor son, who was with a half-breed bloke, have that money?"

"How does EVERYONE know about it? The bloke part that is." Sirius chuckled as Falnok gave him a weird look. "Your trying to tell me you attempt to hide it," Falnok chuckled. Sirius grumbled. "Those were her words by the way. But anyway your father made it clear that was how it was to be done. As well as your possession of Grimmauld Place and a few other homes."

"Did I get the one in Surrey it's really the only one I wanted." Sirius smiled.

"Yes, your father made sure that one was already in your name. You're already welcome to it…if Walburga didn't torch it to the ground."

"She wouldn't care about that home, she hated it. That was-"

"The house your grandfather bought for Melania, yes I am aware." The goblin chuckled, "The home in Wales is also yours, but I doubt you'd kick your aunt out of it to live in it." Sirius shook his head, he was glad that home was in his name otherwise his mother might have kicked her out. "So we've handled money and property."

"Those I already knew, as well as the job…I just."

"Well we can't handle anything else until you get your file open." Falnok looked at him, "since I've told you all I knew."

Sirius sighed, "I guess that means you're done with me?"

"For now," Falnok gave him a toothy grin before he chuckled, "once you get that folder open come see me. It's rather important I feel, your father wouldn't hide things from you or me unless they were rather important."

Sirius nodded, the goblin spoke truth. As he left the office he sighed heavily. He felt a trip to his father's grave was probably necessary; he could picture his father putting some sort of lock on it like that. Because that's just how his father worked. As he stepped outside he grumbled, it'd have to wait another day because as he stepped outside the clouds that loomed overhead opened up, drenching Sirius to the bone.

"It fucking figures," he grumbled as he started the long trek back to the Leaky Cauldron.


	42. Closure

**I'm sorry this is not only late but very short. It's was a rather sad chapter for me, since I understand Sirius' grief very well…so it was a rather hard chapter for me to write. Though I do hope you enjoy it :)**

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><p>No one said visiting a graveyard in the middle of winter was the best idea. No one also said that when visiting a graveyard that was packed in snow it'd be very easy to find the stones you're looking for. Thankfully Sirius knew where his father and brothers markers were. Though really once you got past the large iron archway with 'Tojours Pur' between the arches you couldn't really get lost.<p>

It was dead quite as Sirius trekked through the snow, the only sounds he could hear was the soft wind and the crunch his boots made through the ankle deep snow. Though it was rather hard to avoid the footstones as he walked through, he hoped his dead ancestors would forgive him if he accidentally stepped on their resting places.

The plan had been for Remus to meet him at the front gates of the cemetery, but Sirius had little to no patience for things other than pranks. And quickly found himself walking alone. He was sure Remus would eventually come find him if it took too long.

And then there in black marble, starring directly at him was not only **Regulus A. Black **he looked long and hard at his brother's headstone. He'd come to terms as good as one could, but it didn't make looking the truth right in the face any easier. Sirius placed a Christmas wreath in the center of the stone and let out a deep breath, watching as the fog from his lips danced in front of him before it faded away, "Keep Dad company…" his words hung in the air like a dark cloud as he starred at the black marble.

He shook his head as he felt tears bubble up he had kept his back to the newest headstone in the family plots. He almost didn't have the courage to turn around. Maybe he should have waited for Remus, as least then he'd have a hand to hold.

Before he lost his nerve he placed an almost identical wreath on the headstone he had yet to look in the face, his palms sweated as his heart raced in his chest. The reason he had avoided coming here was he just couldn't picture his father dead. If he ignored it, then he could still imagine that his father was right where he should be, at Grimmauld place in his office or at work three floors above him working. Or maybe he'd go out that night? But as Sirius looked up, etched in stone **Orion M. Black **starred him in the face.

Sirius couldn't control his knees as the caved underneath his weight; he hid his face in his hands as he let out a sob. He couldn't do this alone; he couldn't fight and keep going without his father. He'd never told him just how much he loved him. Or how much he admired him, or even to this day despite everything they had all been through how much he wanted to be like his father.

He let out a pained cry as he breathed in the harsh cold air before he let another round of sobs escape him. Shaking out in the cold, he cried till his eyes could no longer shed tears. Then he sat there between his brother and father and starred at the two black stones. Feeling more alone than he'd ever felt in his whole life.

Sure he had James, Lily, Peter and above all Remus, but no one ever could take the place of his father or Regulus. And it felt silly to feel that way, hadn't they not come to his aid when his mother all but threw him out. When she gave him no choice? And as he stepped out the door for the final time had neither of them grabbed for him, begged him to stay? And did either of them stand in Walburga's way when she blasted his name off of the tree?

For a moment sitting in the slush and snow Sirius' heart grew cold. Something inside of him caused him to look at the stones with such white hatred, it caused him to shake. He couldn't understand why he was so angry, he knew deep down they only did what they needed to. How bad would Sirius have felt if he'd caused them the same pain he went through? He shook his head and hid his face in his knees as he pulled them together.

"I hope you two are happy," He muttered between his knees, "I really hope you two are fucking happy! Leaving me here, with…with what your memories! Oh yea that's a fantastic departing present. I'm glad you two are wherever the hell you are!"

"Sirius?"

Sirius' head snapped around as he looked up at Remus, his head was tilted and the frown on his face made Sirius hang his head. "Yes?"

"You ok?"

"Yep, fine and dandy Remus what the fuck do you think!"

Remus sat down beside him in the snow and pulled him close, "I think you're trying to be strong. Which only hurts you more, you know? It's ok to cry. No one here will judge you here. This is a place for peace and grieving. It's noting new to the stone."

Sirius looked up at Remus before he leaned heavily on his shoulder, "I just…what's this war worth?"

"It's not worth anything," Remus sighed as he ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, "but did you think we would lose nothing? This is war Sirius…no one comes out unscarred."

"Why did they have to die?" Sirius asked, his question was so childlike Remus had to hold his head back to keep himself from shedding tears. Sirius was the strongest person Remus knew, and here he was curled up in his arms crumbling around him. "Why out of everyone in this world did it have to be them? We don't even have a body for Reg…who knows what they've done to it." Remus cringed at his dark tone and shook his head of the images that flooded his mind.

"Don't think like that, it will do you no good."

"And what will then? I couldn't protect my own family!"

"Sirius your father wasn't killed he was an old man what would you have done!"

"He died because of Regulus! He died because of the pain Remus are you that stupid!"

Remus sighed before rubbed his temples, "You might be right…but what could you have done. Sirius we were going to keep Reg safe remember? We had plans we had a goal…and just…it didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be."

Remus felt Sirius' weight nearly topple over him, he panicked as he glanced over looking at Sirius who just leaned on him, as his shoulders shook. He was crying again. What could he offer what safety and peace could he offer? All he could be was his shoulder; he didn't know what to say or how to react. Remus had never handled death, he'd been very lucky thus far. Not even a pet had died around him, he really was no help.

"I miss them," Sirius finally whispered, Remus pulled him closer as they sat in the snow. He let a few tears drip down his cheeks as he stroked Sirius' hair. "I miss them so much…"


	43. Domestic

**Here's a cute chapter for you guys! I'm rather happy with this chapter, even as simple as it is, I thought it was rather cute, so I hope you enjoy. And there's a chance there won't be a chapter tomorrow so...yea sorry. Enjoy :D**

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><p>"Sirius get up!" Remus pulled the covers off of his sleeping, naked boyfriend. "It's well after one in the afternoon!"<p>

"Dammit Remus!" Sirius grumbled as he wiggled around on the bed trying to reach for the covers that were well out of reach, "I'm tired I pulled an all night shift and I have ANOTHER shift tonight, come on!" Remus sighed, there was a small bit of him that wanted to drape the covers back over him, but he knew better if he let Sirius sleep any later he'd be groggy and irritable.

"No get up, come on I need your help." Remus threw the covers into one of the bins closest to his set of dresser drawers. "I need you to get up so I can run downstairs and get stuff in the washer, so get up."

"I'm going to sleep on the couch!" Sirius sat up, his hair sticking out all over the place, for the past few nights he'd done nothing but toss and turn. It was affecting both his and Remus' sleep. "I'll just have to charm it so you don't!" Remus gave him a look. "Then I'll sleep on the bloody floor!"

"Sirius…don't you think if maybe you join the world of the living you might feel some better? I mean…it's been what a week?"

"You pull three graveyard shifts and see what it does to your sleep pattern!" Sirius growled as he flopped back down in the bed and covered his head with his pillow, "I thought we agreed if I worked these shifts you'd let me sleep!"

"I have Sirius; it's probably one thirty now so get the fuck up!" Remus gave a sigh as Sirius gave him the finger from underneath his pillow. Reaching for his wand he gave a sigh, "I really hate to do this but-"

"Don't you dare!"

"Aguamenti" A jet of water flew from the tip of Remus' wand and covered Sirius head to toe in the ice cold water. "Now, that the bed is soaked and you're going to smell like wet dog, get the hell up!"

"Remus John Lupin…" Sirius growled as he removed his head from his sopping wet pillow and stared at him, "How dare you!" Using all of his might Sirius took his pillow in hand and threw the sopping wet mass of down feather and hit Remus square in the face with it. "AND I HOPE IT HURT!"

"THAT'S IT!" Remus gave a loud battle cry before leaping onto a shrieking Sirius and the two began to wrestle. The kicking and punching was half hearted but both boys constantly met their marks. Hair had been pulled, there had been quite a few bites and at one point Remus earned a knee to the balls, all in all after a thirty minute wrestling fight they laid sprawled out on the sopping wet mattress panting. When they both turned to look at one another they laughed. They laughed until tears were streaming from their eyes. Once they could breathe correctly again they crawled to one another and were kissing already forming bruises and marks.

"I didn't mean to bite so hard," Remus muttered has he pressed a few kisses against Sirius' now bleeding sounder.

"I deserved it after taking a kick to your family jewels good thing I don't need those," he chuckled as he pressed a kiss on Remus' forehead.

Once the two pulled away and Sirius was finally standing on his feet he looked at the retreating back of Remus and sighed, "Thanks for that…by the way."

"I could tell you needed a good row, so I gave it to you…but in all seriousness…get up."

Sirius chuckled as he walked to the shower, it was a damn good thing to be in a relationship with a man, and at least he wasn't afraid to hit him.

After a good long shower Sirius stepped out and sighed, "Moony! Get in here!"

Remus poked his head inside of the bathroom, "yes?"

"Do you think I need a hair cut?" Sirius looked at him, his hair was well past his ears now and as Remus tilted his head he could tell Sirius was at least due for a trim. "If you cut yours, you need to do mine. Since you've done it I can't find a barber who does anywhere near as good of a job."

Sirius was already reaching for the scissors in the medicine cabinet "sounds good, let me do mine then I'll do yours." It used to be when Sirius lived at number 12 his mother would do it magically, which used to cause such a mess with his hair. It'd be frayed in some parts or it just would look terrible depending upon his mother's mood. So one day when his mother had decided to give up on Sirius' hair he took a pair of scissors to his own hair and cut it the way he wanted it cut. And ever since he had done it himself.

In school he'd done more than his own hair, he'd cut Peter's and Remus' at least a dozen times. And even a few of his old girlfriends had come to him. He was an artist when it came to scissors and when he sat in front of Remus as he sat in a kitchen chair he smiled. "I haven't cut your hair in a while have I?" He ran his fingers through Remus' sandy hair and sighed. His mind was replaying the memory of the first time he cut it. He could remember eleven year old Sirius full of jitters and when he touched the boys sandy hair he could remember how much it blew his mind that however little care Remus took of his hair it was always as soft as a puppy. "Have I ever told you how much I love your hair?"

"Yes," Remus leaned back as he felt Sirius run the comb through his hair, "you have more than once. But it doesn't mean I don't like to hear it." He shivered as Sirius placed a soft kiss behind his hear, "Good because I really like telling you."

The two chuckled before the room went quiet again; Remus closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of Sirius' fingers through his hair. Before Sirius and Remus had gotten together his had been one of his most secret pleasures in life. To just sit back and let Sirius run a comb, or if he got lucky his fingers, through his hair and just take care of him.

Of course most of the times Sirius did it, it was out of care of a friend but now it always seemed different it seemed more loving, and if at all possible Sirius took even more care of him. He was nearly asleep when Sirius finished, opening his eyes he looked up at Sirius who had a smile on his face. "What?"

"I forgot how easy it was to put you to sleep." Sirius chuckled as he ran his fingers back though his masterpiece. "Took you what, three minutes to fall asleep, you're a joy to work with really." Sirius gave him another sweet smile before placing a kiss on his lips. Remus smiled and returned the kiss, and for a few moments the boys just starred into each others eyes.

Despite living together and loving one another, moments like these came very scarcely lately. There almost seemed no time left in the world for stolen moments or gentle love. Their relationship had lately begun a give and take sort of environment, and it was causing a strain on them both.

"You know I love you right?" Remus asked his voice shook, it almost reminded him of when he had first told Sirius those same exact words.

Sirius nodded as he leaned his forehead against Remus' and took a deep breath in of the cinnomany smell Remus' body naturally gave off. "Yes, and you know I love you as well?"

"I'd hope so," Remus laughed as Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're taking lessons from me, don't become me stay Remus. He's who I find attractive."

Remus pushed him off with a laugh before standing up and shaking his head, "why would I want to be you?" He grinned as Sirius gave him a hurtful look. "I can't have two Sirius' in my life…I barley stay sane as it is…though if there were two of you…" The grin on Remus' face caused Sirius to shiver from head to toe, "you're a horrible man!"

"You love me anyway," Remus smiled wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist and pulling him close. "I think we should have taken out for dinner, how does that sound?" Sirius gave him a smile before wrapping his own arms around Remus. "I think that sounds fantastic, I'll go get something you just…stay here and be sexy, Kay?"

"I shall wait for your return." Remus purred before running his fingers down Sirius' shirt, "best hurry, I'll be waiting."

Sirius shivered again as he rushed towards the door. Remus gave a proud smirk. He loved what he did to Sirius.


	44. Some Nights

**I feel like this story has alot of lose ends, that need tending too. So hopefully in the next week I'll be tying them up, as we jump into 1980. '79 has just been a killer year for me. So hopefully I can straighten everything out XD.**

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><p>Remus raced through the heat of battle, everything was on fire. His heart was racing as he threw spell after spell. He could hear people screaming and curses flying. There was so much going on; he didn't quite understand all of it. By now Remus hadn't really fought many battles; mostly the order was for intelligence and for extra hands if the ministry ever called.<p>

But in the few he'd fought in he understood very well that it was important to have someone you trusted at your back or have your back completely to fighting. Either way right now Remus had neither option open to him. His eyes scanned the field as he had a second to breathe before he knew another attacker would come forward and it was a second it took to find a tangle of black hair fighting his own battles.

His wolf like instincts instantly turned on shouting at him to protect his mate and defend him. But before Remus could even take a step forward someone was on him, and he was locked into another battle, he couldn't see the man's face hidden behind the mask he wore. It was one of the more frustrating things about fighting death eaters. Not a one ever dared to show their faces, were they too scared to show their face when they fought for their own cause?

There was a shout behind him and Remus dared to turn his head, he didn't know what had happened but his own attacker ceased fighting him as in slow motion Remus watched Sirius become engulfed in green light. He could almost hear in his ears Sirius' last breath being drawn as he crumbled to the cold ground.

Remus couldn't hear his own shout of anger over the rush of blood that pounded in his ears, the wolf inside cried for blood. And for once in Remus' life he agreed, blood would be shed.

He didn't take the time to think his actions threw as curse after curse flew through his wand; his eyes glowed with fury as he danced inside of his white, blinding rage. Eventually without even speaking the words a jet of neon green light flashed from his wand and like the man had been hit with a force field he hit the ground to never kill another again.

He raced towards Sirius throwing all caution to the wind as he kneeled down and cradled the now cold Sirius in his arms, "Please" he pleaded, "please be joking with me! Open your eyes," tears were streaming down his face as he rocked his head, "SIRIUS!" he cried out.

"Remus!"

Remus leaped forward eyes wide as he panted heavily. He was soaked in a cold sweat as his now golden eyes searched the room. He had no idea where he was or what he had been doing but the second his eyes fell onto Sirius' sliver tears streamed down his face. "Oh God Sirius," he cried grabbing the man and pulling him onto the bed and holding him tight.

Sirius had but little choice to fall on top of the bed and eventually right onto of Remus, he couldn't even move his arms to hold him in the odd position Remus was holding him in. "Shhh," Sirius whispered through Remus' chest, "Shhh it's ok I'm here."

"Don't you ever do that shit to me again!"

"Do what?" Sirius craned his neck in a rather awkward way as he tried to glance down at his sobbing lover, "do what love?" he asked again as Remus' sobs quickly faded away.

"Don't you ever die on me again." He whispered nuzzling Sirius' hair before breathing softly and finally letting go of Sirius. Sirius gave him an odd look as he slowly settled back in his side of the bed, he looked Remus over before chuckling, "I didn't die Remy, but I take it you had a nightmare I did?"

Remus sighed, now he felt like a stupid little girl. Then again as he looked over at Sirius, his mind played over the terrible scene his mind had dared to show him and he bowed his head. "Yes…I did."

Sirius rubbed Remus' back before placing a soft kiss on the top of his head. "It touches me that you dream of me dying." Sirius started to chuckle but felt an elbow to the ribs and instead coughed. "Sorry it's just…I have dreams like that all the time you know…" Sirius scooted closed to Remus and pulled him close, "I normally wake up and when I see you there beside me I tend to cry myself back to sleep."

"Why don't you wake me?" Remus looked over at him, looking him over he noticed Sirius was still dressed, and with a sideways glance at his alarm clock he realized Sirius must have just gotten home. He rubbed his forehead as he leaned against him. "Well…you tend to be sleeping rather peacefully and I'd rather not wake you when you look like that." Sirius gave a soft smile before he stood up again. "Is it your first one?"

Remus shook his head, though he knew very well Sirius couldn't see him. "I take that as a no," Sirius finally answered his own question. "Yea…I've had a few…ever since you and James started working at night…its hard some nights."

"Is that why I tend to come home and you're in your office?" Sirius sat back down as he started to pull his pants and socks off. Remus gave a small shrug, "Sometimes I go back to sleep, and some nights…some nights I just don't want to face the bed alone."

Sirius stopped mid pull on his sock as he turned his head to face Remus, his silver eyes full of questions. But he couldn't get one to cross his lips. It took him a few moments of really thinking his lover's answer over before he finished pulling off his sock and facing Remus. "Why-Why have you never told me this?"

"I know you'd rather work at night during the day…plus they need you. Your pretty damn good at what you do."

"I don't care if they need me or what I like, Remus…your all I care about. If you want me-"

"No it's just…some nights the dreams are so real…I just," Remus gave a heavy sigh before he looked up at Sirius, he was bathed in half moon light. He looked like an angel as he sat there starring at him, the moon playing with his hair and a few of his newly acquired scars. Remus had to look away as he felt tears bubble up again. He felt warm arms wrap around him and he breathed a deep breath. "Sometimes…I wake up from them and your not here…and," Remus stopped as he felt Sirius kiss his neck. He let Sirius run feather soft kisses down his neck and back before he turned back to face him. "I love you," he finally whispered.

"I love you too Remus," Sirius crawled underneath the covers and laid on his side facing Remus, which Remus followed suit. Sirius reached out both of his hands and took Remus' in his. The two of them ran their fingers over the bands they both wore on their fingers. Both giving each other secret smiles. "And I always will." Sirius whispered softly. "I'll never leave your side, no matter what happens to me. I am always with you Rem."

Remus smiled, "And I'm always with you."

"Promise." Sirius gave him a big smiled before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Remus lips, "I promise."

"Good, cause I need you to go-"

Remus groaned as he rolled and laid flat on his back, "Do you have to ruin the mood!"

"What mood?" Sirius teased a playful grin on his face. "The mood, you know the sweet caring one we just had!"

Sirius laughed as he pulled Remus underneath him and rested his head on his chest, "I thought I always gave of a sweet and caring mood." Remus scoffed as he ruffled Sirius' hair causing him to shriek and quickly try to fix it back. "How on earth did James and I miss you being gay all of our school life?"

Sirius looked up giving him a dark glare. "I'll have you know, you rather like my hair and if I was to leave it be you'd never find me attractive."

"Oh yes because the ONLY reason I fell in love with you was your soft hair."

Sirius sniffled, "See! I knew it all along!" Sirius gave a fake cry as Remus rolled his eyes. "You know better Sirius Black." Remus teased as he lifted Sirius' head up and gave him a rough kiss on his lips, Sirius started to go for more as Remus pulled away. "Now I ruined your mood," Remus gave a yawn for emphasis, causing Sirius to give a frustrated groan. "Stupid werewolf," he muttered as he snuggled back into Remus' chest.

"Now where did you need me to go tomorrow?" Remus asked as he looked down at Sirius, as he ran his fingers through his black hair. "No don't worry about it now," Sirius grumbled.

"Alright Pads, I'm sorry, now can you please tell me."

Sirius looked up at him and sighed, "I was going to ask if you would go with me down by the river and spend my day off with me. And later maybe we could go out with James and Lily and do couple stuff but noo nevermind I ruined the mood with asking you out on a date."

"Sirius I-"

"No don't even worry about it!" Sirius crossed his arms as best as he could over his chest as he remained snuggled into Remus.

"Would it make it better if I said I'd love to?"

"Maybe."

"Then Sirius, I'd love to."

Sirius looked up and gave him a smile, "Good cause you were going to go anyways."

Remus threw his head back as he laughed holding Sirius close, "Your amazing." he chuckled as he yawned. He passed the yawn onto Sirius whose eyes were already closed, his breath had already started to slow and Remus knew he'd soon be sound asleep.

"Goodnight my love, I love you."

"Night Remy, I love you too, sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams." Remus placed a soft kiss on the top of his head as he pulled the covers up overtop of them. He held sleep off for a few moments as he watched Sirius drift off to sleep. But he could only keep it at bay for a few moments before his own eyes started to close, with one last look at Sirius his eyes finally closed. Hopefully this time nightmares wouldn't awake him in the darkness.


	45. The Piano

**So one of my readers, TechNomaNcer28 pointed out to me I haven't mentioned Remus' secret room in a while. Which until she'd pointed it out I hadn't even realized XD. Sooo without furter adue just a quick little chapter that takes place in that room :). Dedicated to you Tech, thank you so much for reading my story and always commenting. As well as to those of you who consatnly are reading and leaving me reviews, even those of you who just read. It makes me very happy to know you all enjoy this story :)**

**And if you guys EVER have topic ideas, don't be afraid to send them my way, I'd love to use your ideas.**

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><p>Opening the beach seat of the piano Remus blew the dust off of a book of music before opening to a random page and placing it on the music tray. His fingers shook with nervousness and excitement. He turned to look behind him; Sirius was already situated in the seat closest to him, with a large smile on his face. James and Lily occupied the other chair, James on the arm of the chair while Lily sat in the actual chair. And Peter had pulled Remus' desk chair over and was sitting in-between Lily and Sirius.<p>

They all had held a small group celebration with the announcement of after all of her tests Lily had come back pregnant. They had yet to inform both Lily's and James' parents. But James was never able to keep a secret from Sirius. Thus the news had spread like wildfire through the small group.

Remus had never played anything in front of them, other than the small try out in the shop over a year ago in front of Sirius. He had since then refused to play in front of Sirius; afraid he wasn't as good as he used to be. He gave one last glace and Sirius who gave him a bit smile and a wink. Ignoring the shivers that raced through this body he turned around and looked the music he'd picked out over. He breathed a soft sigh before he let his fingers run across the keys.

He wouldn't be sitting here right now if Lily hadn't asked, and once the question had left her mouth Sirius was quickly tailing behind her, then James followed foot and Peter was always last to tag along. All of their "Please's" and "Come on Rem! Show off a little bit!'s" was driving him crazy and eventually he caved in.

Now he was starting to regret his decision, "Come on Remy," Sirius chuckled as he took a drink of the cola he had, "give us one song. And we'll never ask for another."

"If its good speak for yourself Sirius," Lily chuckled. James nodded agreeing, "it's about time Moony showed us his musical talent, you and I have already shown you ours!"

Remus chuckled as he heard Lily gasp, "Didn't even show your wife Potter," Remus chuckled. "Shown your hubby yet Lupin?" James gave the back of his head a cheeky grin as Remus grumbled, "I'm about to."

Sirius turned his head from the conversation and faced Remus at this point; he was very excited to hear him play again. Sirius had resulting to leaning against the door doing his best to hear through the charms Remus had placed on the room to hear even a note the boy played. It'd been driving him crazy since he'd bought the piano to actually hear him really play it.

When music filled the room Sirius was captivated, music was always something Sirius had been into. Of course when he was growing him his mother had tried to get both Sirius and Regulus into piano and violin and other sorts of instruments, none had ever suited Sirius' fancy, that and his fingers were never quick enough for a piano. But listening to Remus play reminded him how much he loved the sound of a beautiful piano player.

Remus ignored the feeling of eyes on him as he played, doing his best not to stumble on the keys as he played. His heart raced as he continued to play doing his best to correct himself if his fingers slipped too far ahead of a key or didn't just quite make it in time. He gave a small smile as the song came to a close and he turned around to face his audience, giving a small head bow he smiled, beaming with pride.

"Well Rem," Sirius smiled "I have to tell you that's about the sexiest thing I've seen you do in a while." James chuckled, "That either means your bedroom life is boring or you've got a secret piano fetish." the group laughed as Sirius shrugged, "I could be, as long as it's Remus playing."

"Maybe a Remus fetish then," Peter chuckled causing Remus to roll his eyes, "Nah Pete, it's just an 'I'm Padfoot and everything is sexy' kinda thing." he chuckled as he leaned down to put his books away. "Who said you were done!" Lily whined, "I want another song."

"Later."

But later never came, once the group went back to the living room they were immersed into conversation, the topics reigned from plans for Christmas to the more serious conversations like the war and how they were going to end it. And eventually the group split up, Peter was first to leave then James and Lily soon followed. Leaving only Remus and Sirius left in the flat, Sirius was sprawled out on the couch he'd discarded his shirt soon after Lily and James left and was just lounging on the couch watching Remus read.

"Remy?"

"Hmm?" Remus looked up from his book; his eyes wandered his body before shivering. A man shouldn't be as sexy as Sirius was. "What happened to another song?" Remus looked at him oddly before he shrugged, "it seems time slipped by Sirius, maybe next time?"

"Well…I'm still here." Sirius sat up, looking his werewolf over. He couldn't help as his eyes ran over the beautiful form that was Remus Lupin. "Yes, but your always here." Remus chuckled closing his book; he felt a conversation starting to brew. "Well...can you play me a song?" Sirius gave his best puppy dog pout as he crawled over to Remus. Remus sighed as Sirius placed his chin on his knee, "just a little one?"

"Fine…come on then." Remus muttered as he got up, Sirius gave a cheerful cry before grabbing his hand and dragging him into his office. Once he'd stopped Remus right in front of the piano bench Sirius sat beside the Piano and gave a childlike grin. Remus rolled his eyes as he pulled out a sheet of music. "Positive this is what you want?"

Sirius nodded as he sat criss cross on the floor looking up at Remus. Oh yes, Remus was definitely going to be able to focus with Sirius looking up at him like that. He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he stretched his fingers. Sirius was practically leaning on the bench as he watched Remus play.

His eyes would go to the music sheet to his fingers then up to Remus' face then back again. When the song came to a beautiful finish Remus smiled down at Sirius, but the look on Sirius' face caught him off guard. "What?"

"How'd you learn to play like that?"

Remus chuckled and shrugged, "When I was a kid after I was bitten I didn't really like playing with other kids, the wolf just was too strong. Always wanted me biting people, so I normally stayed around home read what I could and such, I mean I did play with the other children." Remus quickly corrected himself as he saw worry all over Sirius' face "Just close to full moon it was rather hard so I tended to stay indoors, even if they came to my door asking for me. But one day I was bored and didn't feel like reading so my mother sat me down at her piano and taught me."

"So your mother taught you? Remus nodded, "We had a tutor come teach us to play, Regulus and I that is."

"You know how to play?" Remus raised an eyebrow he'd never seen Sirius even inch towards a piano. "I know the keys and main functions but I can't play at all. I taught myself guitar though,…though I haven't owned a guitar since I ran away from home…so I doubt I can even play that now."

"Yes I do remember you used to have one, what happened to it?"

"Sold it, bought me food and a warm hotel room for a night."

Remus frowned as he looked down at his piano to the rest of his room, he'd never felt so spoiled rotten before. Sirius had bought him loads of things, and never once had asked for anything in return. Of course he'd bought himself things but never like he did with Remus. "How come you never bought another one?"

Sirius gave him a shrug before he stood up stretching his legs, "I never really thought about it I guess, always was short on money. Or I'd go looking for one then realize I really didn't need it."

"Well you bought the bike?"

"Muggle travel, much cheaper then paying for a cab all the time. Plus at the time I was very unstable with my apparition, barley passed that training. Of course I don't really like popping in and out of places, especially muggle shops. Already was written up for that, so I needed something muggle and…the bike caught my eye. Plus I wasn't good with money, I thought it would just keep coming and after I bought my first flat I realized it was not a renewable source and I'd come very close to running out."

Remus nodded, "Which is why I handle the money."

"Exactly…the last thing I need to know is how much is in the bank."

"Why, if I might ask?"

"Because I'd spend it all on you." Sirius took a seat beside a star struck Remus and ran his fingers over the keys, "could you try and teach me?"

"Come again," Remus shook his head, he'd never had someone openly spoil him like Sirius did, of course the marauders always bought things for Remus out on the slightest whim he could remember many times coming back from a hard class and find a bar of chocolate hidden in his bed for his rough day. "I asked if you could teach me," Sirius laughed. "Um…I can try?" Remus gave him a weak smile. "Good! We'll start tomorrow! For now I want you in our bed."

Remus gave a wicked grin, "Not if I have you first."


	46. To Scotland!

**And rushing into 1980! And sorry this chapter is so late! Time totally ran away with me XD**

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><p>Christmas passed quickly, as well as new years and the months after. Either everyone was to busy for things or everyone was having a rest from their hectic lives. Everything seemed to blur together for Remus and Sirius between Order meetings to Sirius' job as a auror, their lives were turned from a gentle run from the tap, to a busted pipe which now was drowning their flat. And Sirius was in desperate need of a vacation!<p>

It was March 9th 1980, and Sirius grinned as he rolled out of bed at two in the afternoon. He'd taken a weeks vacation to spend Remus' twenty birthday out in the highland hills with his family. There was no lie that Sirius was nervous, though the Lupin's knew Sirius well they did not know of the new development in the boy's relationship. Sirius looked in the bathroom mirror and sighed, they were going to take a train all the way from London to Inverness Scotland.

He'd sent Remus out during the morning so he could finish a few things up before his week's vacation so he didn't have to handle anything. And sitting down at Remus' desk he realized it would be much harder to work here then if he'd went into work early that morning. Flashes of the last few weeks flew through Sirius' mind. Being retaught to play the piano was really Sirius' only intention but…he should have figured with Remus having to be so close their hands almost always intertwined and always just rubbing against one another that there wouldn't have been some X rated fun thrown in the mix. And all he could think about as he starred down at the desk was how nice it had been to be bent over it having Remus fuck him from behind.

"Oh dammit!" he groaned in frustration as he let his head fall to the desk. "Ow…" he grumbled but before he a chance to move his head, the shake form the desk traveled up the wall and onto a shelf that was hanging above the desk. Sirius had three seconds to recognize the creak of wood before the shelf crumbled on top of him. "DAMN YOU REMUS LUPIN!" He shouted as books and papers of all sorts tumbled on top of him. After a few moments of silent cursing and doing his best not to just lay there and die Sirius crawled out of the chair and onto the floor and started to nurse little cuts and bruises.

It would be his luck that just at that time Remus would stroll into the flat carrying whatever he had bought, "Sirius I'-WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" Remus rushed into the room after he placed whatever he had down on the counter. He was starring at Sirius wide eyed as he looked down at his lover who was nursing his injured body.

"Your fucking SHELF is what happened!" Sirius was rubbing the back of his head, "came of the bloody wall nearly killed me!"

"You're the one that built the shelves THEN attached them to the wall so how is it the shelves fault!" Remus pulled out his wand and was quickly whipping things back into place as he mending the shelf.

"Shut up and help me will ya?" Sirius held out his hand, that after the shelf was fixed and everything back the way it was, Remus lifted him up. "Now many brain cells did you lose?"

"Probably all that was left, you terrible git you!"

Remus rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through Sirius' hair, "poor man. Trying to be ready to go out of town with me-"

"And your books maul me to death!"

Remus' loud laughter echoed through Sirius' ears, causing his head to throb painfully, as he went back to straightening the room, "Oh go back to work, but you better hurry. The train leaves in a hour and I will leave without you."

"Doesn't surprise me. Course you'd leave me after I was just INUJRUED!" Sirius grumbled as he sat back down giving the shelf overhead a weary look, "Come down on me again and you'll be kinlin you good for nothing-"

"Sirius stop talking to the shelf and work."

Sirius gave a loud huff as he looked down and did his best to get back to work, when all of the sudden out of no where a loud BANG caused both Sirius and Remus to leap out of their skins. "What the bloody HELL was that?" Remus looked around wide eyed, out of the corner of his eye he caught the filing cabinet give a massive shutter before another BANG.

"W-what's in there?" Remus' voice trembled as yet again the cabinet gave another shutter before another BANG followed.

"No idea…but what ever you've put in there is mighty angry."

"ME! That's your cabinet!"

Then it hit Sirius like a ton of brinks, "You've gotta be SHITTING me!"

"What?" Remus gave Sirius a odd look as he walked over to the filing cabinet and opened it, he almost didn't have enough time to duck as the folder flew from the cabinet and landed rather gently on top of his Auror papers. "That'd be my father calling."

Remus gave a flustered groan, "give it MY birthday he's got to ruin." Remus growled, "can't even keep you from the bloody dead!" Sirius chuckled as Remus stormed from the room shouting at whatever he could, "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT LARI!" Sirius' chuckle grew louder as he watched Remus storm past her and she quickly crawled to hide form her daddy's fury.

"I'll just copy it and send it to Falnok! He can handle it Remus calm down."

"THANK MERLIN!" he shouted, Sirius winced as he heard Remus shut his trunk. Why was he traveling with him a week before full moon? It didn't even help that Remus was on edge due to the fact that he was going to come out to his parents with Sirius there. Sirius shrugged and didn't really pay attention to the words on the papers as he quickly copied them, then tuned to a sleeping Tenebris.

"Tene," Sirius called poking the owl awake. The owl opened one orange eye before giving a small hoot, "Yes that's a good lad, I need you to take this file to Falnok. The goblin at Gringott's you know who I'm talking about." The owl gave a sigh before a faint nod. "Good, take this to him then head to the Lupin's you know where that is. I'll be there, though I doubt you'll hang around me. We'll be out in the woods so…you'll have tons of fresh prey." The owl gave a happy hoot and was off before Sirius could even blink.

Sirius gave a huff as he walked towards the bedroom, "I handled it Re-mus -dear." Sirius starred at the rather naked backside of Remus Lupin. Remus turned and faced him a wide grin on his face, "Bend over Sirius, I need to take out some frustration." Sirius wasted no time as he shut the bedroom door quickly behind him.

Sirius flopped back on the bed slicked over with sweat and laid there panting heavily as Remus pulled him back against him, "feel better?" Sirius chuckled running fevered kisses across Remus' chest. "I do actually." Remus gave him a smile, "I just hope you can walk."

"I'm sure I'll be able to, if not you can carry me." Sirius gave him a wide grin before resting his head underneath Remus' chin. "You realize I'll have to work while we're gone right. Now that you've er…borrowed my time."

"We have a seven hour train ride ahead of us, if not a little longer. I think you can get it done then." Remus gave him a 'you better any way's' look before rolling off the bed and stretching.

"I'm sure I can." Sirius gave him a smile as he laid there. "Do we have to get dressed right now? Can't we have another go?"

"No," Remus gave him a weak smile. "We gotta get going." Before Sirius could whine a hoot called from him as the large black owl fluttered in and perched on the footboard, ignoring his master's nakedness and the obvious smell of sex in the air. "Oh look your back!" Sirius grinned crawling forward and untying the small letter from the owl's leg.

_Sirius,_

_I'll handle as much of this as I can while your on vacation. Enjoy your holiday in Scotland. When you get back I shall need your attention. Tell your lovely man Happy Birthday for me._

_~Falnok_

"_Falnok says happy birthday Remy!" Sirius shouted to his lover's retreating back. Remus gave a chuckle as he walked towards the shower, it was most likely best not to travel to his parents home smelling like sex and Sirius. "Come get in the shower with me! We need to go!"_

_Sirius quickly rolled out of bed and climbed into the shower, they had thirty minutes left. He could definitely make those minutes count._


	47. Mother Knows Best

**Sorry it's late! FF was giving me issues, I don't know why it's been giving me so many issues! But here's the next chapter, hope you guys are enjoying the story so far :)**

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><p>They barley made it to the train station in time and as they quickly handed the ticket man their tickets as they climbed onto the train. Remus had figured it best for Tenebris to fly there so the muggles on board wouldn't wonder just what crazy people they were riding with. And Lari was spending a lovely week with Lily and James, who delighted Lily to no ends; at least she'd have some company at night when James was away at work.<p>

Most of the train ride Sirius worked, he wanted it done as fast as he could while he was still wide awake so that it didn't take too long to get it done. And three hours in on the ride he was done and it was locked away in his suitcase. The two had been very lucky to find a compartment with no one in it. And once the work was done they pulled the blinds down on the train and cuddled most of the time.

Remus was leaning against Sirius' side deep into the book he was reading, and Sirius was leaning against the seat with his eyes closed half asleep. When a knock came to the door Sirius opened one of his eyes and nudged Remus "Remy, someone's here."

Remus grumbled as he straightened himself up, Sirius was already up walking towards the door. "Ello loves orders for dinner?" A middle aged woman with shoulder length brown hair smiled up at Sirius. She had eyes almost like Remus' and he blinked quite a few times. "Err…um…" Sirius shook his head and rubbed his face. "Sorry my minds sorta fuzzy I just woke up." She giggled at him and gave him a small smile.

Remus looked past his book watching Sirius stumble over his thoughts. The wolf inside his body growled, "What is it Sirius?" Remus called. Sirius' head popped back in the compartment, "Dinner orders." Remus chuckled and nodded, "whatever you get, get me the same."

Sirius nodded as he turned his attention back to the woman, and looked back down at the menu he had in his hand, though his mind did not focus as it was still locked onto the idea of her eyes, which he glanced back at more than was deemed appropriate. "I think Fish and chips will do us nicely." He finally handed the menu back to her she gave him a sweet smile as she jotted his order down and went onto the next compartment.

"So, Sirius, darling wanna tell me what was so interesting about her?"

"Her eyes…Remus…it just" Sirius sat down and looked Remus over before leaning ridiculously close to him starring uncomfortably in his eyes. "They looked like yours!"

"So?"

"Like wolf eyes!"

"Err…is there a problem with that? Hey if a werewolf can get a job there's hope."

Sirius huffed as he flopped down on the seat, "fine don't be all…confused and such." Remus leaned over and placed a kiss on Sirius' cheek. "No love, I'm not the only werewolf with the same colored eyes. So it doesn't surprise me anymore, I love you though."

"I love you too." Sirius grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn't normally one to be shocked by others being werewolves but he'd yet to meet one that had eyes near as gold as Remus'.

The rest of the train ride was rather quiet, as it was a night train, and they wouldn't make it to their destination till early in the morning. After Sirius and Remus were fed and the lights were out they magically locked the door so no one could get in. And magically transformed their compartment into a small bedroom. With quick goodnight kisses the two rolled on their sides and were fast asleep.

The following morning Sirius leaped out of his bed as the train whistle went off as it started to pull into the station. Grabbing for his heart he starred wide eyed at Remus, who was clutching his stomach bent over with laughter. Sirius hadn't taken many trains in his life, let alone night trains so the awakening was not something he expected. "Son of a bitch," he hissed glaring out his window at an attempt to glare at the horn. "Scare the shit right out of someone why don't you!"

"Morning Sirius," Remus wheezed as he leaned over to give Sirius a kiss. "Bugger off you twit! Thinking it's so funny! Coulda fucking died!" Sirius grumbled but accepted his kiss anyway, before pulling himself out of bed and transforming the compartment back into its usual appearance.

They took a cab the rest of the way to the Lupin household, and when they pulled up to a small cottage on the edge of the town Sirius smiled. He'd been here a couple times in his youth, he could count them on one hand but still. The place was small and cozy. The white picket fenced front yard was groomed and looked much like a normal garden and in the back was wide open the back yard greeted the woods that hung close near by.

The few times Sirius had been here Remus had never took he nor James exploring in the woods, saying he'd much rather avoid them with the marauders there. It took them a while to figure out just why he never went in there. It had been those same woods he'd be turned in, and the same woods he hid in when he transformed.

Mrs. Lupin or Melody as Sirius would call her came right out of the front door with a wide smile on her face, "Remus!" She cried as she rushed down the path, "Look at my handsome young man!" Sirius snickered as she wrapped Remus in a hug. "And my, my, is this Sirius Black, dashing as ever. Looks just like his father." She gave him a small smile, "And you look ravishing as ever Melody." Sirius gave her a quick hug, "come now boys, let's get in. Breakfast is ready."

Breakfast was indeed ready unlike the small courses most English breakfasts Sirius was used to when he went into someone's home Melody always made large meals. The smells of sausage, eggs and whatever else Melody made hit Sirius' nose causing his and Remus' mouth to water.

"I take it Dad's not home?" Remus chuckled; Sirius took a few double takes at the sound of his lover's voice. Remus was born and raised in these Scottish hills and when he was out here his accent tended to kick in more when he was around those with the same accent.

His mother was a born and raised Scottish woman, from the MacKenzie line. While his father was a muggle, and came from an English business class line. From what Sirius had seen Remus was almost the spitting image of his father, quite like himself. But he had more of a personality like his mother.

"Sirius love, come in." Sirius shook his head as he walked inside, his eyes scanning the walls of pictures and other things. When he was younger he had never taken quite a good look around the place. It'd been much more of a come see your friends and hang out sort of thing. Now it seemed more like a come be with the family, and be around your lovers parents. The idea alone made Sirius shiver in his shoes.

After breakfast and a fresh shower and sitting up their room. The Lupin house only had enough rooms for Remus and his parents so when someone stayed over they all would crowd into Remus' bedroom to sleep. Which for once in Sirius' life he was thankful for it. Otherwise he doubted he'd get much sleep without Remus beside him.

Sirius was the first one down the stairs, leaving him all alone with Melody. It was well after lunch and after their large breakfast neither boys had felt much like another round. Instead they had sat in Remus' room for a round of hot kisses. Which was why Rem was left in his bedroom straightening himself up so it didn't look odd in front of his mother.

"Sirius, come sit." she patted the seat beside her, and Sirius gave a gulp. Remus' plan had been to tell his mother later over dinner, when he knew for a fact his father wouldn't be home. It'd be much easier to talk to his mother than his father. Since Remus and his father had bad blood since he'd been a child.

When Sirius sat down the woman looked over him before giving a soft chuckle. "I take it you and Remus are doing well moved in together?"

"Yes ma'am, Remus and I are doing pretty well." Why was he being so formal? His mind wouldn't switch off the formal no matter how many mind tricks he tried to play with himself. His formal reactions were always something he'd dove into when he was nervous. It seemed to please his parents much more as a child thus it had become a habit.

Melody who'd known him since he was a small boy could see right through him. "Nervous around me Sirius?" Sirius shook his head, "hmmm I would be." Sirius noticed the cup of tea she'd sat down from him and took a drink, knowing it'd calm his nerves. He gave her a questioning look over his tea cup, "Because if I were dating Remus Lupin, and I'd come home to tell his mother I was with him I'd be mighty nervous."

Sirius swallowed the scalding hot tea roughly before he started to choke, "excuse me?"

"You heard me," Melody chuckled, "Oh don't give me that look! Your father and I still did talk to each other despite your mother's hatefulness towards anyone who wasn't like her." He starred wide eyed at her, "Sirius, love…its ok you know. I don't hate either one of you."

"Why did he tell you, wait wait WHEN did he tell you is the better question."

"A few days before he died, he figured he'd warn me well before Remus got the bright idea to come telling me. Of course I won't lie, I was rather hurt. But when I fought out who he was smitten with…well I couldn't be angry too long. You've always taken very good care of him."

"Well I'm glad you approve." Remus grumbled from the doorway, "Well that's much easier than I thought though." Sirius looked up at him and gave him a warm smile.

"I was rather tired of you two giving each other lusty looks, and then remembering I was here and walking on pins and needles." Sirius laughed causing the two Lupins' to jump. He kept laughing until tears teased the corners of his eyes, "I'm sorry," he panted before giving them both a huge smile. "But that was just the largest weight you lifted off of my shoulders Melody, thank you."

"Anytime," she smiled. "Though Remus, your father doesn't know…so…I'm leaving that one to you."

Remus' face went pale as he gave a deep sigh, "I really don't want to have to tell him…do I have to."

"He should know." Melody gave him a sad look, "I think it'll be ok."

"And mother's typically know best," Sirius smiled hugging her. "Unless you're my mother…then no, not at all."


	48. Come Clean

**I hope you guys are getting these chapters! I know it sounds shallow but my normal group of reviewers are quiet, so I really hope these are getting to you and you all are enjoying them :)**

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><p>Days had went by since Sirius and Remus arrived at the Lupin home, and most of the time Remus' father wasn't around so there weren't many times Remus could have even attempted to talk to his father about it. Most of the times he was home was dinner time and the last place Remus wanted to start a fight with his father was at dinner.<p>

"So Nathan how was work?" Melody smiled at her husband as she started to cut through the ham for dinner, passing pieces around the table for the others to eat. "It was fine, rather boring as usual, but one gets the work done."

Remus was inside of himself as he sat there eating; his father never took an eye off of him. He almost felt that he was being watched. The wolf inside paced with nerves as Remus jittered in his chair.

"What do you do for a living Sirius?" Nathan looked at Sirius, one eye still on Remus. Sirius swallowed what bit of food he had in his mouth and chuckled, "I work for the ministry."

"Doing your father's work? By the way I'm sorry for his passing."

Sirius gave a seldom nod before sighing, "No not really, I mean I have a feeling one day I'll have to take over his work but for now I work as an Auror." Nathan raised an eyebrow, "It's kinda like wizarding police, except they are also kinda like the MI6. So we have a little bit of under cover work plus normal police business."

"Fascinating, and do you work along side Scotland Yard or?"

Sirius shrugged, "A little bit, there's a small division of us that do, but most of us in general don't we don't tend to get into muggle things and if Scotland Yard stumbles into a magical case…somehow we get notified, I'm not quite sure how it all works." Nathan nodded and dinner went back to being quiet.

"So Remy, darling." Remus picked his head up to look at his mother, "I saw in the paper a little while ago, about Wolfsbane. Have you tried it yet?" Remus gave her a wide smile, "I actually was one of their test subjects. They were quite pleased about my record actually. I mean…not to brag about being a werewolf and all but I have a very spotless record."

"Because there are people who take care of you," Nathan chuckled. "I think Remus could handle himself." Sirius gave Remus a smile, "He's a very smart man so I couldn't see why he'd be crazy without people helping him." Remus gave him a weak smile; at least someone always came to his rescue. Nathan nodded, "By the way…when is the full moon?"

"Tomorrow night dear," Melody mumbled she gave her husband a dark look, "I was just asking." Nathan held his hands up a bit before going back into dinner.

"Dad…" Remus' voice shook, he met Sirius' eye and took a deep breath. "I have something-" he was stopped by the house phone ringing. Nathan held up a finger before he got up and answered the phone.

"Not now dear…wait till you're alone." Melody squeezed his hand. "Please for me?"

Remus nodded and gave a heavy sigh he heard his father's frustrated voice from the hallway before a loud clack of a hang up. "Can't leave a man alone in his own home during dinner time." Nathan grumbled as he sat down, "You were saying son?" Nathan gave Remus his full attention which caused him to squirm like an ant under a magnifying glass. He gave a weak sigh, "I don't remember," he lied. And if his father noticed or not he didn't say anything. They just went back to dinner, the conversation had died out. And once dessert was severed and everything was cleared away. Melody dragged Sirius off into another room leaving Nathan and Remus alone at the table.

"Now, since your mother's gone and dragged your friend off and I know you didn't just 'forget', Remus tell me what you wanted to tell me."

Remus looked his father over as he swirled the glass of brandy he had left over from dessert. Remus' palms sweat as he starred at the man who for most of his life didn't really have anything to do with it. Why did he need to know? Why was this important to him, oh right his mother wanted him to know. That's why he was sitting here right now nervous as could be.

"Dad I-" Remus shook his head, how did someone come out to their father. When they were the only living son, the only one to carry the name on. Nathan was looking at him with a puzzled expression, "I'm gay." There it was out, and he couldn't take it back. He didn't dare meet his father's expression, at least not right after he'd said it. But when he looked up at his father's wide eyes he knew he'd made a mistake.

"G-gay?" His father stuttered, "not with…you're joking!" His father's voice raised towards the end. 'Please don't blow up please don't be angry.' Remus thought over and over as he sat there looking at his father. "With Sirius?"

"Y-yes sir."

"WHEN!"

Remus flinched at his father's shout hanging his head, he mumbled but he doubted his father could hear. "I said when Remus John Lupin."

Remus shook in his chair, "since late our seventh year…"

"TWO YEARS REMUS!" His father was standing now hands clenched into fists as he leaned over the table, "And then you come waltzing home after being gone for what over a year and a half and go "hey dad I'm gay." What the hell is a matter with you!"

"Nothing dad I-"

"No…just…" Nathan got up and walked out, walked up to his bedroom and slammed the door so hard numerous pictures rattled on the wall. It took all Remus had to not cry, as he sat there trembling from head to toe. He could hear his mother and Sirius walking in, but he didn't linger. Despite it not having been too bad it still hurt Remus more than he could imagine with his father's reaction. But he knew the only reason he was still his father's son was the simple fact there was a guest in the house. And his father would not act up while someone was there.

He was up and out of his chair and running as fast as he could to the woods as possible, he didn't turn around as he heard shouts call his name. He didn't even stop he only ran faster, he was deep in the woods by the time he let himself fall to his knees and cry holding himself tightly as he rocked back and forth. He was only a few miles form the shed he'd have to transform in tomorrow night.

If he looked up he might even see the dark blue shed that only his family could see due to a magical charm placed on the building. He sat in the dead leaves and the underbrush rocking as he cried softly to himself.

He could still hear people calling his name as the tears finally stopped falling down his cheeks as he lay out in the cool March evening air. He'd probably be sick as a dog in a few days but right now all he wanted to do was crawl in a hole and never come out. Such a lovely way to end his Birthday.

He laid there for he didn't know how long; he was nearly asleep when a black blur sat in front of him. He didn't move other than to reach out for the animal, which only circled around him and lay down. The large black dog whined as he licked his face. Remus stroked his dark black fur until the dog rutted him to sit up.

He wouldn't meet eyes with Sirius once he transformed back "I FOUND HIM MELODY" he shouted once Remus had stopped crying. Remus could hear his mother coming for him now. "You should probably leave." Remus whispered, "My father will make me leave soon enough."

Sirius looked on and waited until Melody came and together the two got him back to the house and in bed. Nathan was sitting in the living room he watched them bring Remus in and watched them come back down after he was in bed.

"What the hell was all of that about!" Melody snapped, Sirius was behind her his sliver eyes dark with anger. He understood not everyone was accepting but he never liked anyone who made Remus upset. And if he'd been at Hogwarts or really against anyone else who wasn't Remus' father he might have hexed him to kingdom come.

"Did you know?" Nathan asked his voice smooth as he looked up at his wife. "I'm sure you've known for a while he tells you everything. And then he just springs it on me."

"I've only known since he got here, "she lied, "and even then I wouldn't have told you. It was his right to tell you!"

"You could have bloody warned me! And you!" he turned to face Sirius, standing his full height as he walked up to Sirius, who held his own standing up tall. "How dare you step into my house and-"

"And do what?" Sirius snapped, teeth barred, "love your son?" Nathan starred at him, "Yea that's right you heard me correctly I said love." Nathan continued to stare at him, "I've been in love with him for at least two years, madly in love with him actually. And we've been right happy. And the reason Remus wouldn't tell you is because he knew you'd lose your bloody temper! How does a father not love his own child!"

Melody starred at Sirius as Nathan glared at him, "You don't know-"

"I don't need to know, my father loved me till his dying breath. And even when we didn't see eye to eye. He never once made me think he didn't love me. Even when I ran away and I told him I hated him. He loved me still, so you tell me why the hell you can't love your son!"

Nathan looked to Melody who had tears glittering in her eyes, and then he starred back at Sirius the looked up the stairs letting his eyes rest on his son's door. Gritting his teeth he pushed past Sirius and walked out the door. Melody starred after him and let out a loud sigh. "He'll be back in the morning," she whispered, "Go on to bed Sirius."

"Melody I didn't mean-"

"It's quite alright." she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Remus and Nathan have never been close…not after he was turned. It's his fault you know…he upset Greyback, the wolf that bit Remus…and well…let's just say he wanted revenge…"

Sirius starred at her as she squeezed his shoulder. "Don't let him rile you up, go on to bed…just…make sure Rem knows your ok... He needs you right now, more than you'll ever know."

When Sirius climbed the steps he could already hear Remus sobbing again, he opened the door, "Moon? You ok?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Remus snapped as he looked up at Sirius, "I'm-"

"Don't." Sirius shut the door behind him as he walked over to Remus' bed and lay down beside him pulling him into his arms, "Don't apologize for your father, it's not your fault. Now you just go to sleep, I'm right here…I always will be." Sirius wouldn't argue he just held Remus like if he let go he'd fall away from him. Remus knew there was no used to fight with him and did exactly as he told him too. Which he was surprised was rather relieving as he laid there, knowing that he was safe in Sirius' arms.


	49. But Dad

**I really couldn't have everyone be ok with it...it just wouldn't be realistic...**

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><p>It was well after two in the afternoon two days later, when Nathan Lupin walked back inside of the house. Remus and Sirius were sitting side by side on his mother's piano bench laughing and playing the piano as Melody was instructing Sirius on just how to move his fingers.<p>

"And this you-" when she looked up she stopped and looked at her husband. "Nathan where have you been?"

Both Remus and Sirius looked up at his father, his clothes were wrinkled and a down right mess, his hair was all mussed and he just looked dreadful. "I was out," he slurred. Melody rolled her eyes as she walked over to him. "Come on you, a cold shower is what you need. Up come on." she pulled him up the stairs, "keep playing boy's I'll be right back, I need to get this oaf into bed."

"Mel I'm fine," Nathan mumbled leaning against her. Melody rolled her eyes as she continued up the stairs, "Yes as is the wizarding world as well. All fine and dandy sunshine and daisies, yes exactly dear."

"Exactly!" They heard Nathan shout as Remus' parents' bedroom door shut. Remus looked down at the keys and gave a heavy sigh. "He's going to hate me you know…down right disown me."

"With your mother 'round?" Sirius laughed as he ran his fingers thorough Remus' hair, "I highly doubt that love, your mother would kick his tail end to the curb if he tried. Now come on, come play with me." Sirius gave him a flirtatious grin.

"Not in my parent's house." Remus chuckled as he nudged Sirius over so he had more of the bench, "And scoot over, your ass is taking up all the room!"

"I had to give your dearest mummy some room." Sirius snickered as he earned an elbow to the ribs, "ow! That's not nice baby." Remus rolled his eyes at him but gave him a sweet smile anyway.

They'd be leaving tomorrow morning for the next train back to London, with Sirius' vacation nearly over he wanted one day to have Remus all to himself and after the rather interesting birthday celebration. Sirius was ready to get home and relax.

It took Melody over an hour to get back downstairs and by that time Sirius and Remus had ended up switching to chess, which Remus was currently beating Sirius black and blue. "Ugh! Come on Remus, your teasing me AND beating me…can't you let me win at one thing?"

Remus gave him a devilish grin before destroying yet another of Sirius' pawns. "But love, you wouldn't like that. You'd hate for me to just let you win." Remus purred. "Pardon me," Melody giggled as she scampered into the kitchen causing Remus to blush furiously. "Mum I didn't know you-"

"At least she knows you can flirt, OW THAT WAS MY EYE!" Sirius whined as he rubbed the eye Remus had just thrown his recently captured pawn into. "Bloody wanker!"

"That's no way to talk to your boyfriend!" Melody scalded as she brought in a tea pot with three cups, "And it might be just a tad cold, it was brewing when Nathan came in so…"

"It's alright mum, Sirius can't handle anything hot."

"I handle you just fine." Sirius gave him a dark lusty look that nearly sent Remus over the edge. "Sorry about that Melody…but he started it."

"No no, just pretend I'm not here." She smiled as she reached over for one of her books that was laying aside. "You wouldn't want me to do that," Sirius purred, "I might just make your son whimper." Remus ignored the blush on his cheeks as well as his mothers, "We'll see who can make who whimper." The grin on Remus' face sent Sirius into a tailspin; "by the way," Remus chuckled, "checkmate."

"BULLOCKS!"

Nathan didn't eat dinner with them nor did he sit down in the living room after dinner and conversant with anyone. He spent the whole day locked in his room and Remus figured he was sleeping whatever he'd been doing off. "He'll be ok…right mum?"

Melody looked up from her sewing to look at Remus and nod, "yes give him a few days, he'll be fine. I think you merely shocked him. Though I'd like to think he sort of had it figured out. It's just not something a man wants to hear his only son say. Wanting grandchildren and all."

"We can still have grandkids," Sirius mused from the morning's prophet he hadn't read that morning. "I mean there will be tons of kids after this war that need parents, besides he can always sort of…"

"Shut up Sirius," Remus rolled his eyes. "I'm not donating anything to anyone so…get it out of your head." He smiled at his mother, "but he is right I can always adopt."

Melody smiled and nodded, "Yes dear, you can." She went back to her sewing and Remus sighed, he couldn't adopt. They wouldn't let a werewolf of his level adopt a child. Sirius could but Remus would never be able too.

Silence filled the room again as Remus went back to his book, only when they heard someone come down the stairs did everyone look up, "Remus, come here. I want to speak to you." Nathan's hollow voice carried through the room like a war cry. Remus slowly closed his book looked to his mother than to Sirius and Sirius gave his hand a gentle squeeze, 'I'm always here', his eyes whispered and instantly Remus felt just a little stronger.

Remus walked over to his father and gave him a gentle smile his father didn't return it as he ushered Remus towards the front door. The full moon had been yesterday and Remus still was feeling the side effects of it. "Walk with me," Nathan called as he stepped off of the front stoop. Remus followed quickly after him, merely afraid if he let his father out of his sight he might stumble.

"Tell me," Nathan sighed after they'd walked a few miles down the street. "Why it is you are with him, why not some pretty girl. I mean…what-"

"Because dad, I'm attracted to him."

"But…is it because you're a werewolf, that you think no girl will love you?" Remus looked at his father before sighing, of course he wouldn't understand. "No dad…that's not it, it's just…I really am attracted to Sirius. I mean granted he's the only bloke I've ever really liked. So…"

"Maybe it's a phase," Nathan shrugged, "ever thought of that."

"If it is, it's not one I doubt I'll ever be over."

Nathan looked at him directly in the eye, "Why?"

Remus felt his body tremble as he looked in his father's blue eyes. "I marked him Dad…" Nathan starred at him, "And I don't regret it…I love him, very much."

Nathan looked away from him and kept walking, they were halfway back home when Nathan stopped and grabbed Remus by the shoulders. Remus was expecting a punch or a slap or something. Anything other than what he got. Instead his father just looked him over, "Are you happy?"

Remus starred up at him like he'd been struck by lightning, was this really happening? "Yes…I am…"

Nathan let his hands fall from Remus' shoulder and he gave a deep sigh. "And this is no stunt? Not some sort of cry for attention?" Remus shook his head and his father gave a heavy sigh. Remus could read his father well; his body language was much like his own. "Why Remus, why must you hurt me so?"

"I'm not doing anything…I'm in love…why is that so bad?"

"Why? WHY? It's a man Remus!" Nathan faced his son and breathed a deep breath, "your mother says to give-" he motioned his hands in a weird manner, "this time. To let whatever this is do what it needs to. So…that's what I hope you'll do. You'll sit and think and maybe wake up from…whatever the hell it is that caused it. I understand I wasn't a good father, but I taught you to be a man. And that's what you need to be none of this…stuff your doing. I understand life is hard, and it's my fault, is that why you're doing this? To get back at me?"

"No! I just…I love him dad…with all my heart can't you-"

"No I can't accept it, I love you son but this is too much…far too much." Nathan turned his heel, "I won't ask you not to come see us, because that won't be fair to your mother. But I will ask for Sirius not to join you, or if he does he needs to find another place to stay. I won't have it under my roof."

"But dad-"

"It's final. Now come on, let's get back home…you have an early train tomorrow."

The whole walk home Remus held it in, all his emotions. His tears his heart break, he'd wanted to be accepted but he should have known better. His father couldn't accept him as a werewolf what made him think he could accept him being gay. His chest hurt with his held in emotions and when they walked back in the door he put on a strong face. His father went up stairs and Remus walked back into the living room. No one said anything the evidence was written all over Remus' face. His father had not taken it well.

The next morning once Melody had followed them to the train station and given them both one last kiss goodbye, they sat in the compartment. Sirius closed it off to anyone and once they were started on their way Remus finally let himself go. He'd held it in all night, so no one could have heard him cry. And the whole train ride home he curled up into Sirius and cried.


	50. Orion's Will

**And there...Orion is finally handled! *Sighs* NOW we get into darker stuff :)**

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><p>Sirius and James stood outside of the Faye's Inn for about twenty minutes before Remus and Lily showed up. Sirius couldn't help but smile as James' grin widened, he was wearing his fatherly pride rather well. Lily was five months along in her pregnancy and was just starting to show. Her belly was gently rounding and though Lily had always been a rather thin woman she looked beautiful as her motherly figure started to form.<p>

"Soon we'll have to have a table for five." Remus chuckled as he pulled Lily's chair out, James gave him an aggravated look as Lily swatted him away. "Calm down James, give Remus this one chance. You have the rest of our lives to get my chair." She gave her husband a smile before he pressed a kiss on the top of her head.

"So, where did you drag my lovely man off to this time?" Sirius chuckled after their order was placed. "No where special, just a few shops around here. Mostly for manly stuff to do around a nursery." Lily gave him a bright smile, "and hello to you too Sirius." Sirius gave her a wink "Hello Flower."

"I thought we were going to do that?" James gave her a hurtful look as he took a drink of his water. "Ya know…being your husband and all."

"I figured the four of you, if you want Peter to join in, could help with it, there's a lot of stuff to do. And you've seen Sirius' fine wood work, so he already knows he's helping me there."

"I didn't," Sirius chuckled elbowing James in the ribs, "but I do now. Do you have a list; I'd rather enjoy planning everything out."

"Gotta run it by us Pads," James chuckled, "You know Lily won't like you creating a crib that flies." James and Sirius grinned ear to ear as they laughed at the idea. "You might appreciate it the first few months," Remus chuckled taking a drink of his own drink. "At least then you can lie in bed as the crib hovers near you."

"Lily has that planned out; she's already bought a crib for the bedroom." James sighed, as Lily nodded, "Sex will become extinct as we know it." Sirius choked looking up at Lily, "What did you do to her?" Lily laughed patting Sirius' arm. "Terrible, wonderful things Sirius…but I don't think you could handle the details." Sirius gave a sideways glance to James before looking at Remus then to Lily. "I could handle it…just not from the sweet, innocent lips of yours."

"I'm a Potter now, nothing sweet and innocent about it." Lily gave James a wicked grin as he laughed.

Lunch continued on, though Sirius was glancing at his watch more so than James because he had taken off to handle what he hoped was the final business meeting for his father's passing. He was getting rather tired of this looming over his head and was rather thankful to hopefully be done with it today.

When Big Ben chimed one o'clock, Sirius got to his feet, "I'll see you later at work James. And see you later at home," He ran a few kisses down Remus' neck, despite being wide open in public. "Sirius!" Remus hissed even though he moved his head giving his lover more room to splatter more kisses across his neck. "And dearest Lily," Sirius chuckled as he parted from Remus' soft neck, giving her a peck on the cheek he smiled. "Take care of my Godson, eh?" Lily rolled her eyes but placed a kiss on his cheek in return. "Oh yes, I'll take very good care of him." Giving James a final hug Sirius popped off and appeared right in front of the white columned building.

Falnok was not there to greet him instead one of the other goblins who wasn't all too friendly led him towards the doors. No matter how many times he'd muttered 'I can get there myself,' the goblin refused to let him do so. And once Sirius was finally in the eyesight of Falnok did he leave Sirius' side. "Wanna tell me why I couldn't walk here by myself," Sirius asked letting himself fall into one of the chairs in the office. Falnok looked up at him and sighed as he cleaned his glasses, "We had an attempt at a break in earlier today, they didn't get far in. But well…we're all rather nervous now."

"Some stupid idiot tried to break in," Sirius laughed, "Did they get to the dragon?"

"Heaven's no!" Falnok laughed, "How they got past one of us goblin's I'll never know but they barely made it into the cart before one of our guards noticed something fishy. Needless to say we're putting a stop to letting people just wander in." Sirius nodded, "even someone as innocent as I?"

"Even someone as innocent as you," Falnok chuckled as he turned to a filing cabinet behind him and magically removed the file. "Now, most of the papers in here were deeds to the properties you own, to the vault that your father created for you. And other things about his will, mostly things you can't get to until you can get back into Number 12 but I'm sure you're aware of this."

"I am, I recon it's a long list?"

"It was, your father was very specific as to what he left, due to your mother I presume. Pages upon pages, that Walburga can't fight. Which in your case is good, for my health and your mother's case not so much." Sirius chuckled as Falnok glared at him, "But there were other pages a letter to you, which since you sent me copies of everything even the deeds I already have copies too, I take it you didn't read a lick of it?"

"Not a lick, why what's the letter say?"

"Dunno, it bit me when I tried to read it so I left those papers that tended to nip alone." Falnok sighed, "Then I get to the part about your father's job, which we knew well enough was left to you. It's very detailed as to what to look for in a replacement if you choose not to take the job."

"Which I won't I have no desire to work in my father's office, I don't get along with the people he works with nor do I really enjoy being around his work. No offence to my father but, I rather like where I am." Falnok nodded, "I think he already knew that so there's pages about what to look for but above all on all of them I read. His main priority was 'Don't let Reg die in vain,' which I'm sure you know. Plus you'd never place anyone you didn't trust there but your father's mind set at the time…"

"I am aware Falnok; I've already decided on a few people, there are some in the Order I plan on trying to loop into the job. Though dad might roll in his grave if I put who I really want there."

"May I ask who?"

"Marlene McKinnon, she's rather into the mysteries that surround the ministry so I'm sure she'd love to get her fingers on some of the most secretive stuff."

"Is she good with secrets?"

"One of the best, once you tell her a secret her lips are locked tighter than one of your vaults." Falnok raised an eyebrow, "You trust her?"

"I'd trust her with my life; she's a rather good witch. Never harm a fly, unless of course the fly wants to kill her. Very good with secrets and they interest her enough she'd bring a lot of good to the field. Besides that place needs new blood."

"Yes…yes it does. Well before you make your decision, I suggest glancing at least over your father's notes. Then I'd had those off to her if she does become your choice let her read them and get familiar with the job." Sirius nodded and rubbed between his temples, he hated placing anyone in the dangerous position that was but he knew Marlene would be the best for the job. She was strong and fearless, and her family was well defended. One of the largest and strongest wizarding families who still stood strong and on the non-purebloodist side. She was the best suitor for the job other than Sirius himself. "Is that all you needed me for, I couldn't take the day off so…I need to head back."

"Yes, yes." Falnok was already filing the file away, "But Sirius…" Sirius froze in his footsteps, as he looked back, "I do urge a word of caution before you make your final decision; I've heard…whispers, if you may. Bellatrix isn't very happy about your predicament with landing the decision with this job, it's important to them for some reason…please…don't be stupid with it." Sirius nodded solemnly. It wasn't as if he needed anyone else to remind him that this was already a bad spot to put someone. "Don't worry Falnok, I'll do dad well. I don't want anyone dead because of it either."

When Sirius was back at his office at the Auror department, he shut his and James' office door and sat down. "Ooo, you don't look so good." James eyed him "Lunch not agree?"

"I think I'm going to give Marlene the job."

"Which…oh your father's job. I think she'd be great at it. But why are you so pale?"

Sirius looked up at James before casting a silencing charm on a room and an impenetrable charm on the small office, "Reg died for this job." He sighed as James' eyes went wide. "There is a lot I haven't told you James; simply for the fact I didn't want to worry you."

"Mind coming clean then?" James leaned forward interested on just what things his best friend had been hiding. "Look I only hid things from you because I didn't understand them either. But…well when Reg died…well I don't know how he died. But I believe he died because he refused one of Voldemort's orders."

"Which was?"

"To kill my dad, so he could inherit his job, giving all sorts of mystery information over to the death eaters, Reg thought it was for the hall of prophecies. I think it's more of for whatever else is secret down there. But I don't know, it doesn't matter now-"

"Does Dumbledore know this?"

"Yes I told him soon after Reg died…James we were gonna run off, Remus Reg and I…"

"And leave me here!" James crossed his arms over his chest, "I see how you are Black!" Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, "Oh yes because it'd be such a joy to live without you." James gave him a smile as Sirius sighed.

"And well…I guess Dad either heard gossip about it, or whatever the case may be. And well…he made sure I inherited it."

James sat back gob smacked and sighed, "Making sure no one-"

"Else in the family got it exactly, making sure he gave it to the one person he knew wouldn't just oh I don't know defeat Reg's purpose?"

"Sounds like a shitty place to be if you ask me, but I think Marlene will handle it well. I agree with your choice, I'd run it by Dumbledore if I were-"

Sirius was already handing a note to Tenebris who was perched in the corner, "way ahead of you."

"Cheap bastard." James grumbled rolling his eyes, "Telepathy has it's let downs you know."

"You sound cooler in my head. That's definitely one of them" Sirius laughed. James rolled his hazel eyes as he laughed.


	51. The Prophecy

**I really suck at writing sex scenes, as you guys know. So there is a little bit leading up to it...but yea XD. Enjoy.**

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><p>"Sirius if you don't hurry your ass up!" Remus shouted as he tapped his foot at the door. Sirius had come in late from work, and then he'd proceed to get caught up in a football match. Only after Remus had to physically turn of the television did he get up to eat dinner. "You've been oh so manly today but come on Sirius, now your behaving like a girl!"<p>

"It is NOT my fault I've been incredibly busy PLUS it takes ages for my hair to dry so Remus can you oh so politely SHOVE OFF?" Sirius poked his head out of the bedroom door and stuck out his tongue. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED!" Remus stormed towards him grabbed him by his towel and dragged him before ripping it off. "OI!" Sirius scrambled to cover himself as Remus shoved him down on the bed. "Well…Nevermind then," Sirius purred, his body already reacting to Remus' actions. "You fucking wish." Remus grumbled as he grabbed a pair of boxers, "Aww…your a horrible tease!"

"If you behave," Remus sighed as he pulled Sirius' boxers over his hips before running a few hot kisses across his waist line and hip bones. "You might get some when you get home." He gave Sirius a wink before reaching for a pair of clean pants, "though why you had to shower is beyond me."

"I ran around all day hunting down death eaters, I stunk." Sirius chuckled. He groaned as Remus ran another round of kisses over his waistline, as he buttoned his pants "I hope this is turning you on too you terrible tease!"

"More than it should be when I'm putting clothes on you, but yes it is." Remus smiled as he reached for a shirt, but before he even attempted to slip it over his head, Remus ran hot kisses up from Sirius' belly button up to his neck. He sat down on Sirius' lap and sucked softly on his Adam's apple. Sirius threw his head back and groaned digging his fingers into Remus' hips. "I thought we were late?" Sirius whispered, and instantly regretted as Remus pulled away, "right you are." Sirius' shirt quickly was over his head and then his arms poked through and Remus smiled before grabbing his arm, "now come on!"

Sirius grumbled as the apparated in front of the house they used for Order meetings. And once everyone was sitting at the large table he sighed. Arthur was the only one here of the Weasley crew seeing as Molly had just had her sixth son, only a few weeks ago. Frank and Alice were there, she like Lily was rather round from her own pregnancy, the two couples had some how gotten pregnant at the same time. Marlene was there as well she sat across Sirius and after a weeks worth of work in the Department of Mysteries seemed unfazed by her work. "I rather love it," she had whispered to Sirius when he first arrived. McGonagall was absent due to her teaching classes at Hogwarts since the school year was in. The Prewett boy's were sitting beside Arthur talking to him about his sister. The two had quickly become favorites of the Marauder's due to their own drive to pull pranks. Moody was sitting close to Dumbledore's chair his fake eye was whirling around looking at everyone who sat at the table. Peter sat beside Remus, and James and Lily sat beside Sirius. The rest of the table faded around Sirius as he sat there listening in.

Remus' hand was under the table rubbing his inner thigh, causing his mind to fog over to thinking about just what would happen when they got home. Remus' fingers ghosted over his cock causing the member to twitch awake. Sirius gave Remus a side glare as he shook his head, doing his best to clear his thoughts.

"Problem Sirius," Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling. Sirius blinked, Remus was dead when they got him. "No Dumbledore, just…thinking is all." Dumbledore chuckled along with a few others who knew what was going on. "I see. Care to think with the rest of us for a while." Sirius rubbed his face, "Yes of course" he smiled, Remus was so dead. He glared at his lover as Remus chuckled behind his hand, oh so very dead.

"Now that I have everyone's attention," Dumbledore chuckled causing both Remus and Sirius to sink into their chairs a little more. "I've had a prophecy foretold to me, and I figured it best to share it with you all."

Sirius' ears perked as he looked to Marlene, though the look on her face was a grim on. Did she know already? "Ms. McKinnon already knows of this grave prophecy as she is the head of the Department of Mysteries now." A few people around the table gave her odd looks which then turned to odd looks at Sirius. "Sirius inherited the position and after quite a few conversations with myself and Ms. McKinnon we all agreed it'd be best for her to take the position and Sirius to maintain his Auror position." Remus gave him a smile as Sirius nodded, "As it is our newest Divination's teacher has foretold a terrible prophecy,"

Dumbledore pulled a piece of parchment from his robes and adjusted his glasses, "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …"

All eyes fell upon either Alice and Frank Longbottom or James and Lily Potter. Sirius and Remus' eyes fell upon Lily and James, whose eyes were wide and full of terror. It was no secret the Potter's had escaped him once, and just last week the Longbottom's had had their second attempt on their lives. "W-what does that mean Albus," Lily's shaky voice whispered, her hands were clutching her stomach as if there was already an attacker in the room. James' arms were tightly around her and his face was hidden from view behind her hair.

"As of yet there is no one who fit's the bill, so to speak." Dumbledore leaned forward, "you and James as well as Alice and Frank merely just come to mind when one thinks of it. Due to your record and with you being pregnant. If Molly hadn't given birth already she too would be worried. But I am certain it shall be neither of you," Something about the way Dumbledore spoke didn't seem quite right for Sirius, and when he glanced at Remus he could see it in his eyes he too could tell the difference. "We all will protect one another, and I just thought that you might want to know of this." Dumbledore gave them a smile before tossing the bit of parchment into a nearby fire. "Let it not worry you, I hear fear is hard on a child." Dumbledore chuckled, "Lily, Alice…I promise you we will keep you all safe."

James looked at Dumbledore his eyes scanned the room until they fell on Alice and Frank, "Don't worry guys. There has to be other people lucky like we are…and besides…you two are only at two. And Lily and I are at one. He'll get bored eventually."

James wasn't head boy or Gryffindor Quidditch captain for nothing, despite the fear in his eyes. He still held his head high and smiled. James was a true Gryffindor even in the line of fire he held strong and didn't dare give up. Frank and Alice nodded and smiled, "he's right. We're rather boring." The table laughed away the heaviness that had once filled the air. After the rest of the table gave any bits of information they could the meeting was called to a close and everyone slowly left.

After the meeting had ended James, Lily, Peter Remus and Sirius filed out for a round of drinks. Of course Lily only drank water as the four men took a shot of Firewhiskey, "Afraid Potter?" Sirius teased as James rolled his eyes. "No, no way! I wanna see him try and get me and Lils, faster than lightning aren't we love?" Lily laughed and shook her head, "Oh yes of course."

The bar they had chosen was quiet and laid back, mostly just a place for people to order drinks and relax. "Do you really think he'll come after you guys?" Peter asked smiling at them, "I mean…he is Voldemort after all." Remus sighed as he swirled his drink in his glass, "Pete, if your going to be a wet blanket have another drink." Sirius gave him a grin, "yea listen to Moon, just…calm down will ya! This is Prongs and the beautiful Flower we're talking about!"

"How come I'm not beautiful!" James gave a fake sob. "Simply because your hair makes you unattractive." Sirius beamed.

"I'm sorry I'm not a blonde!" James sobbed again, Remus laughed and patted James on the back, "its ok you like red heads better." James gave a wide grin as he pulled Lily close and gave her a quick snog. "By Merlin do I love me a red head!" Lily was a red as her hair as she giggled nuzzling James' neck. And the group could tell by the rush of red to James' face she was whispering not so innocent things against his neck. "Look at our little flower, all grown up and turned into a mamma minx." Sirius grinned, "To the Potter's" Sirius held up his glass. The group chorused after him and after their glasses were clanked together all took a hearty swig.

Upon their return home Sirius ran hot kisses against the back of Remus' neck as he pinned him against the front door, "Ohhh Moony," he whispered against the small hair's on the back of his neck, "I'd rather enjoy your naked company in our bedroom."

"You would, eh?"

"I would." Remus smiled at him and took his hand, "Well then let's get to it." Sirius quickly followed behind him as clothes started to peal off as they snogged their way to the bedroom, and one they toppled into the bed they were naked and running their hands over each other like skilled pros. They'd been together so long neither boy was nervous anymore. The bedroom light flicked off and plunged them into a blissful darkness.

"Remy?" Sirius groaned as he rolled off of Remus, he poked him twice before Remus launched out at him causing Sirius to shriek. "BLOODY HELL!" Sirius held his hand over his heart. "Son of a -" Remus raised an eyebrow, "err…a lovely mother."

"Good idea," Remus rolled off of his stomach and sighed heavily, "Yes honey…if it's a question that requires thought, don't even ask…I am too tired and too happy to even think."

"Ok," Sirius lay against Remus and smiled, "It can wait then."

"…what is it Sirius," Remus looked down. "Just…are you scared, for James and Lily that is." Remus shook his head, "No…they only have gotten away from him once, more nervous for Alice and Frank though." Sirius nodded, "I hope it's their kid."

"SIRIUS!"

"You're thinking it."

"I was not." Remus looked at him, "look everything is gonna be ok, I promise love." Remus ran his hand over Sirius' cheek. "I promise." He pulled Sirius close and kissed the top of his head, "now go to sleep, it'll be fine." Sirius snuggled close to him and sighed, for now everything was ok.


	52. Trouble Begins

**And this is a LONG chapter, I haven't written this long of a chapter in a while, so hopefully it's a good one XD. Also...I leave you at a cliff hanger...don't kill me XD. I won't be back to post the second half until Wenesday at the earliest Friday at the latest...sorry guys! Don't hate me! Hopefully you guys have a wonderful week, and enjoy the chapter :)**

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><p>"And you'd think she'd at least research our relationship before approaching me!" Sirius called from the bathroom, he glanced at the mirror and sighed. He could see Remus' reflection; he didn't even have his head raised to acknowledge him.<p>

"Mmhmm and what'd she do then Pads?" Remus glanced up and smiled, "and yes love I'm paying attention, just an interesting article is all." He held up the prophet in his defense. Sirius rolled his eyes, and sighed "As I was saying, so she walks into my and James' office right," he turns on the faucet and sets inside the warm shower pulling the curtain behind him, "and?" he can hear Remus call from the other room.

"She walks in skirt all hiked up to were it nearly covers her ass, which is a nice round ass I might add." Sirius snickered as he heard the paper straighten with more force than needed. "And she's got her shirt practically half way unbuttoned, and got this lovely black lacey bra nearly popping out of the sides of her-"

"Get on with it Sirius!" Remus shouted from the other room, Sirius gave a snicker. He loved riling his wolf up on the day of full moon. "OH! And her breasts were-"

"Padfoot don't make me come in there!"

Sirius snickered behind the curtain as he squeezed enough shampoo out of the bottle and started to run it through his hair, "Prongs' eyeballs nearly popped out of his skull! So she sits down on my desk and crosses her very long legs and just looks down at me. And of course I'm busy as ever in work-"

"Psh probably trying to look busy instead."

"Oh hush! As I was saying, I'm busy at work and eventually Prongs' gets really uncomfortable and clears his throat, pulling me out of my work and BAM right in my face is what had to be D sized breasts, and they were the color of caramel…And damn did she smell-"

"PADFOOT!"

"OK OK!" Sirius laughed, "Bi not gay Remus! I am allowed to look at women."

"Then don't tell me the bloody story!"

"Ok ok I'll stop," Sirius chuckled, it was a miracle Remus could even hear him; then again the boys had trained themselves to listen to one another over the showers when they were at school, and some of the best pranks were planned while in the showers. "And so I look up at her, and she's giving me this big blue doe eyes. And I'd swear to you doing the whole 'I'm oh so innocent,' sort of thing."

"Yes?"

"And James is giving me a 'holy shit!' look and I just stare at her and go, 'Can I help you?' James nearly died at the look on her face; it fell like someone had just killed her brand new kitten. And her response was 'Um, your Sirius Black right?'." Sirius loaded his rag up with soap and ran it over his skin. He thought he heard a door shut but when Lari didn't bark he figured he'd been hearing things. "And then-"

"Hey, I never asked how Jane and Harold are?"

Sirius sighed, as he looked up towards the shower head. "Their fine, James said he thinks they'll pull through just fine." Jane and Harold were older wizards and had contracted a rough case of Dragon Pox, and though their pull through rate was low, the Potter's never went down that easy. "Well that's good…sorry to interrupt. Go on."

Sirius sighed, "Anyway and then she looked to Prongs and went 'Can we have a private moment?' And of course Prongs the good sort said 'Yep sure, he's all yours. I doubt it'll even take a moment.' And she gave him a funny look, James laughed the whole way out the door! So once he's gone the blinds magically go down in our small office and she sort of does this crawl thing on my desk and grabs my tie."

"I told you wearing a tie today were a bad idea!"

"Only because you wanted to drag me back go bed with it!" Sirius laughed, "But as I was saying, she grabs me and pulls me close, and I guess by my wide eyed expression she sort of was put off. And just looked down at me, and as nicely as I can I tell her, 'Sweetheart, as beautiful as you are…I'm taken.'" Sirius smiles as he hears Remus' laughter. Its father away but it's a laugh none the less. Once he knows all the soaps off his skin he steps out and squeezes as much water as he can out of his hair. "And so she sort of stares at me," he chuckled turning off the tap as the memory flashes through his mind. The sound of the door again stops him, and he listens, no dog. He shrugs, "And then she says 'Well…she doesn't need to know.' And I grin at her the biggest grin I can and go 'Love, it's not a girl.' And it takes her a moment before her eyes go wide and she shrieks and runs from the door. Prongs came back in and we both die of laughter…ahh it was a fantastic…Remus?" When he doesn't hear laughter he steps out of the bathroom wrapping a towel around his waist.

"Remy?" He pokes his head out of the bedroom, and not a hide or hair of Remus. "Lupin your shit isn't funny! I just told the best part of the-" he frowns as he steps into Remus' office. There was a letter ink still drying lying in the middle of Remus' desk, "part." He mumbles as he looks at the note before he can even glace a read a smell wafts up his nose. He looks around the desk and rolls his eyes. Wolfsbane sitting on the edge of his desk not even a swallow's taken.

"Dammit Lupin! Take your shit before you run off…" he stops as he looks down at the note.

_Sirius,_

_Sorry I sort of ran off…and I didn't get to hear the end of the story I bet it was hilarious. I can only imagine. You'll have to tell me the rest when I get home. I had to pop off, Dumbledore wants me to cover this werewolf meeting that's going on…you know…to help the order. _

_I love you; go see Jane and Harold tonight. I know you were going to but stopped when you knew it was full moon. It'll do you good, I'll be safe don't worry_

_3 Moony_

Sirius sighed as he let himself fall into Remus' desk chair and ran a hand over his face. Of course he'd run off when Dumbledore calls, and of course he doesn't take his Wolfsbane when he needs it. After reading the note three times over he stands up and rolls his eyes. "Yea, so glad he's more important couldn't even tell me goodbye."

_Prongs,_

_I'll see you later, Rem decided to go do this thing for Dumbledore, without Wolfsbane…so I don't feel like lingering at home. I'll meet you in the waiting room…since apparently I can't go in my by myself, I tried earlier…stupid laws. Anyway give your mum a kiss for me and tell her I'll see her later. _

_Padfoot_

_With his small note rolled up he handed it off to a perching Tenebris, "Take this to James, he's at St. Mungo's." Tenebris gave him a swift nod and was out of the wide open window. It was a beautiful April day. Sun was shinning and oddly for London not a cloud in site. It'd be a beautiful full moon; the thought caused Sirius to shiver. "Don't do anything stupid Moony…"_

_Sirius turned to the kitchen and rubbed his hands together "LARI! You want some pizza!" Sirius grinned as he heard the dog's claws scratch against the tiled floor as she bolted inside of the kitchen, with her tail wagging a mile a minute Sirius grinned, "I take that as a 'YES DADDY!'." A loud bark answered his laughter._

_Sirius would later regret the idea of pizza as he rolled off of the couch and crawled to the television to turn it off. He glanced over at the now snoring Lari who was lying on her back feet in the air. "Yes…sleep sounds soo good." Sirius stood up and stretched, instantly regretting to ask his muscles to move. "But sadly I have to leave," he leaned over and rubbed the sleeping dogs stomach. "Guard the house, and don't let any nasty bugger in. Rip their faces off." Lari opened one eye and gave a tail wag as a response. "I'll be back later."_

_With a pop Sirius found himself standing in St. Mungo's waiting room, he glanced James, who had his back too him and promptly leaped on top of him with a loud battle cry. Causing half of the waiting room and its staff to stare at the two. "PADFOOT!" James shrieked with wide eyes, "What the bloody hell! Blimey give a man a heart attack!" Sirius laughed as he shrugged, "ready."_

_James rolled his eyes as he walked ahead, Sirius tagging behind him, once the entered the door a loud sneeze echoed in the small room along with the smell of electricity. "Dragon Pox alright," Sirius chuckled as he poked his head behind the curtain "'Ello Jane."_

"_Shut up Sirius," Mrs. Potter coughed, "C'mon and give me a kiss." Sirius cringed, "no I had that as a kid I don't want it again." He chuckled as he walked inside and gave Lily a kiss on the top of the head, "Hello Mrs. Potter." Lily looked up from her knitting and smiled, "Hello Sirius."_

"_Harold," Sirius grinned as he sat down in one of the two chairs in-between Jane and Harold. "How is it?" Harold gave him a dark glare as he blew his nose, ignoring the fact his napkin had caught fire. "How do you think?"_

"_Napkin's on fire," James pointed out chuckling. Harold glared at the now smoking piece of paper and tossed it into a water filled bin with a hiss. "I can't wait till I fucking get over this." Harold groaned, "If I set one more thing on fire with my NOSE I am going to take a beater's bat to someone's head."_

"_I'd take it to James'" Lily chuckled, "it's the best object to beat around, won't ruin too much."_

"_Thank you honey, I'm glad you think that's funny." James sat in the other chair beside Sirius as his wife chuckled. Lily made a whimper noise as her hand flew to her stomach, "calm down kid that hurts." Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What hurts?"_

_All eyes fell on Sirius, "W-what? You're not in labor are you?" Sparks flew from Jane's nose as she snickered, "no sweetheart, she's not the babies kicking." Sirius tilted his head, the last baby he'd ever been around was Regulus, and he had been much too young to remember what that was like. "What do you mean?"_

"_You mean…you've never felt a baby kick?" Lily looked at him with wide eyes, "What sort of Godfather are you come here." Sirius eyed James nervously as the father to be beamed proudly and pushed him forward. Sirius gave a nervous glance as everyone's eyes fell on him, "hold out your hand." Lily gave him a gentle smile, "She's only been doing it for a few days."_

_Sirius gave her a wide eyed look, "She?"_

"_Well we think it's a girl," James leaned back in his chair. "Though what we really want is a boy, "Harold chuckled, as Lily rolled her eyes "it's not my fault I want a boy, it's all I've been around." Jane gave a huff, "Other than her but…she doesn't quite count."_

_Sirius chuckled though it quickly died in his throat as Lily took his hand, "Relax Sirius, it won't hurt." Sirius looked at her, "hurts you though." Lily gave him a sweet smile before squeezing his hand, "Only because I'm not used to it, it's a good thing for a kick, means the baby's healthy." Sirius froze on contact as his hand reached her stomach, she was seventeen weeks along, and her belly was rather swollen now. Grey eyes met green as they waited a few seconds before another round of kicking reached Sirius' hand._

_The blood in Sirius' veins froze for a few seconds as he felt the soft kicks against her stomach. "Don't cry!" Lily whispered, "your gonna make me cry." Sirius had tears lining his eyes as he ran his hand over her stomach. The baby kicked two more times for him before everything calmed. His eyes went wide before Lily reached up and wiped his eyes. "For big bad marauders you and James are very easy to tear up. And don't worry the baby's fine. It'll be fine."_

"_I really hate calling it…well it." James grumbled, "When can we find out?" Sirius looked at her with wide eyes. "When the baby is born, I want a surprise for our first James, the second we can find out." James gave a dissatisfied huff before crossing his arms. _

_Sirius sat back down in his chair with a smile on his face; he'd never felt a baby kick. He could still feel it against his hand. The gentle kick it caused his fingers to tingle and excitement to rush over him. He'd always been afraid to just reach out and touch someone's stomach. Well…unless that someone was Remus, but anyone who'd ever been pregnant around him he'd almost refused the idea. It just seemed too personal to much of a weak spot for him to put his hand there. But now, each time he looked up at Lily's stomach he remembered that gentle kick._

_He wasn't going to be a father, no that joy was left to James. But he would be his godfather, and that was just as special. It would require great care and love. And that he could provide, he could be whatever the baby needed. And if anything was to ever happen to James and Lily, he could slip into that father role. He'd never be as good of a father as James would but he'd do his best._

"_Pads…wanna stop starring at Lily, it's rather creepy." James muttered. Sirius looked up at James and blinked quite a few times. "S-sorry I didn't mean that I just…" Jane and Lily's laughter pulled the two boy's eyes. "Oh let him be James," Jane chuckled over Harold's soft snoring in the other bed, "He's just amazed at the baby. Let him be."_

"_Does he have to stare though?"_

"_I'm right here," Sirius grumbled, "And I didn't mean to stare…just…thinking. Sorry Prongs."_

"_No need to be sorry," Lily chuckled as she stood up, placing her knitting in her bag. "It's very sweet, let's me know you'll be a very good Godfather." Sirius gave her a wide smile, "the best one ever." James chuckled as he stood, "Hold you to that." He leaned down at placed a kiss on his mother's head before quietly slipping behind Sirius and giving his father the same, "Where are you going?" Sirius looked up, nervous to be left along in the hospital._

"_Lily needs rest, and I'm tired." James smiled, "No worries I cleared it with the nurses, they won't mess with you. They know you're allowed back here. See you in the morning mum."_

"_See you dear," Jane smiled then turned to Sirius as they left, "You don't have to stay you know. Harold and I will be fine, you need some rest too, and Remus will need you-"_

"_He's not at the flat-" Sirius frowned, "He's out on order business."_

"_On full moon?" Sirius nodded, "Oh must be something Dumbledore needed a wolf for."_

_Sirius nodded, "yea…I'm gonna split, I am tired and you need your rest." Sirius chuckled, "And if I stay you'll never get any." He took to his feet before kissing her forehead, "and hopefully that doesn't get me sick." he chuckled. Jane gave him a smile and sighed. "You'll be fine. You take care Sirius, we love you. You know that." Sirius nodded, "love you guys too." With another kiss goodbye Sirius slipped from the room. _

_Once he was home and his shoes kicked off he glanced at the clock, it was only half past midnight. His thoughts wandered to Remus as he let himself fall on the couch and cuddled with the still sleeping Lari, "If you weren't snoring I'd worry you were dead." He chuckled to the passed out pooch, "Goodnight sweetheart." Right as his head hit her soft fur and Sirius' eyes started to close the ministry radio fizzed to life._

"_We have a report of Death Eaters being spotted and yet another attack-"_

_Sirius stood up and groaned reaching for his wand, where would he need to go this time. "The current residence of the Potter house hold has been attacked."_

_Sirius' wand slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor with a heavy thud. "No!"_


	53. Strike Two

**Bah! Sorry it's been so long, I was away longer than I thought I would be! I hope this chapter was well worth the wait!**

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><p>Sirius' heart hammered at a rapid pace as he stood there frozen in fear, shaking his head, no it couldn't be. Not James and Lily, they'd just been safe with him! His mind raced as his heart panicked to keep up, "please…please be ok," he whimpered as he stood still frozen to the spot.<p>

"James Potter was brutally assaulted while trying to keep his wife Lily from being harmed, he's now at St. Mungo's were his parents are now recovering from-"

"How is Lily!" Sirius' voice was frantic as he shook from head to toe, the color drained from his face as he stood there. "Lily was said to be ok, badly shaken up. Though she's rather pregnant it might not be a good outcome for the child."

Like that Sirius' knees buckled underneath him as he crumbled to the floor, the loud thudding noise startled Lari as she began to bark and nudge her master until he groaned back into consciousness. The world around him started to blur together as he shook his head to clear the fuzziness, "W-what…James!" He scrambled to his feet and quick as he could apparated out and landed rather roughly back inside of St. Mungo's.

He gave a loud hiss as he clutched his arm, looking down at his now bleeding arm he groaned. "Fuck my life," he whispered, he'd been splinched all because he hadn't been paying any attention. A healer rushed up to him and dragged him off, "No you don't understand I'm fine!" He tried to tell her as he pushed away, "Where is James and Lily Potter?"

But the healer pretended not to hear him as she shuffled him into a room and forced him to lie down. "Easy now, this won't hurt…much." she gave him a weak smile as she muttered a spell. Sirius howled in pain as the magic quickly began to seal his arm back together. It hadn't been a bad splinching but it was bad enough his whole arm and shirt sleeve were covered in crimson. "Shh calm down, you tore a major artery, easy now."

A male healer popped inside of the room as Sirius began to struggle, "what happened?" He asked holding Sirius' good arm down as he wiggled underneath the first healer's wand. "Splinched, got here in a rush said something about the Potter's."

The man nodded, Sirius slowly began to wind down and eventually his cries turned into soft whimpers, "When he's all fixed up send him to the waiting room, Potter was his friend in school. Sirius can you hear me?"

Sirius looked at the male healer and squinted as he glared through the pain, "Harvey?" Sirius looked at him. "That you?"

"Yes you stupid idiot, calm down." Sirius jerked hard as the wound slowly began to heal over, "you won't help a damn thing if you move, just make it worse. James is stable calm down, he'll be alright."

"What about Lily," Sirius growled through gritted teeth, "She's pregnant." Harvey's face fell, "Well…in the panic she started to go into labor." Sirius' grey eyes widen as he tried to tug away, "Shhh. Don't upset him Stewart!"

"Sorry Meg, she'll be fine, first time mothers do it quite a lot. They'll get her under sedatives and it'll be ok. Now relax."

Sirius laid there starring up at the white ceiling, he hated this hospital, hated how blank and empty it was. His heart hammered in his chest as he sat there, his racing heart probably helped none to the splinching and how much blood he had lost. His mind was foggy from it and his body weak. "Just lay here," Meg whispered as she reached for a wet rag to wipe the sweat from his face before cleaning off his arm. "Let your body recover, the second your ok I'll take you to see one of your friends, ok?" Sirius nodded, his body was too numb.

As she good up Sirius felt his eyes close, no this wasn't normal he should be fine. He went to struggle, "easy, it's just a simple sleeping spell. You'll sleep till your ok."

"I don't want to sleep, remove your spell." Sirius slurred it was becoming very hard to keep his eyes open. "Calm down," he heard Harvey whispered somewhere to his right. "Just let it take over and let your body relax two hours tops. James will be healed and all better by then, you'll see." Sirius was quickly losing the fight with his eye lids as the slowly closed, and he became still.

When Sirius woke up he slowly pulled away from sleep but once he realized he was in a starch white room he jolted to life. Eyes wide as his heart hammered in his chest. "Calm down Padfoot," Sirius looked to his left to see Peter sitting there holding the prophet. "Wormtail!" Sirius shouted as he leaped out of bed, "W-what happened! How's James a-and Lily! Oh fuck where is Remus?"

Peter folded the prophet and looked at him rasing and eyebrow "Sirius, calm down. James is fine, he's asleep recovering. Lily came to a close call almost lost the baby, but she and the baby are fine. And as for Remus I took him to your flat, Dumbledore sent me a letter this morning telling me where to find him. What the bloody hell was he doin out there?"

"Good their fine- wait where was he?"

Peter blinked, "You don't keep tabs on your wolf boyfriend?" Peter chuckled before flinching under Sirius' angry gaze. "He was out in Cambridge, laying out in one of them big fields they have out there. Lucky no one saw him didn't have an ounce of clothes or his wand. I thought he took Wolfsbane."

Sirius sat down, fury rushed through him. How had Remus been so stupid! Why was he out that far anyway? Wasn't he only in a local London pack? "He does…Dumbledore wrote him to go to a meeting, apparently he forgot." It was a lie, Remus never forgot. "Can we see James and Lily?"

"I saw Lily this morning, she looked horrible. In with Jane and Harold, took a turn for the worst you know…not good for two sick elderly wizards to hear their son almost got killed and their daug-"

Peter's sentence was cut short as he heard the door violently be jerked open nearly tearing it off of the hinges as Sirius was sprinting down the hall. "Well…so much for that." Peter grumbled as he got up and slowly walked behind Sirius.

It took Sirius thirty seconds to get all the way from his room to the Potter's room. And to him it was thirty seconds too long. Leaning heavily against the doorframe, gripping it for dear life Sirius panted as he tried his hardest to catch his breath as he reached their door. His face was white from lack of air and panic that was rushing through him. "Sirius?" Lily's shrill call pierced his ears before she was in his arms sobbing. Still panting he wrapped his arms tightly around her, "Shhh, shhh Lils I'm here shhh," Sirius felt tears sting his eyes and he held her tightly against him.

She finally looked up at him and pressed kisses against his cheeks before tightening her grip on him, "I was so scared."

"Shhh I'm here, everything is ok." Sirius pulled her into the room and once Peter was beside him he shut the door behind him. He glanced at the two sleeping forms Jane and Harold were now tinged green and Sirius' heart squeezed. That was the rougher stages of Dragon Pox kicking in, Sirius felt his throat tighten as his mind started to reel, 'not you too.'

He sat in a chair and pulled the delicate flower into his lap and rocked her. Peter was sitting at the table in the room and quietly read the Daily Prophet, once Lily had been rocked to sleep, Peter looked up at him. "There was a wolf hunt last night," Peter whispered. "All over just…random werewolf attacks."

"Remus didn't attack anyone," Sirius growled. "I never said he did, I was just saying…Rem's about to be in a world of hurt, Ministry is going to crack down on them badly after last night."

"How many?"

"Forty cases so far, all over Britain. It's bad for wolves, it's normally only three or four during one moon…but it was over ten times that…I think we've got a uprising on our hands." Peter opened the paper to the page and held it out to him. "My hands a little bit full Pete, your gonna have to read it to me or something." Sirius grumbled as he rested his head on top of Lily's.

Peter rolled his eyes as he cleared his throat, "The ministry is in an uproar, last night the same night as the attack on the Potter residence. There was an unleashing of werewolves; the plans seemed to have been timed at the right moment. With the raise on werewolf attacks within moments of the Potter attack, those Auror's who had not already been injured in the fight against the death eater attack that quickly filled the small community where the Potter's had lived. Soon had to dwindle down to fight of werewolves.

Some of which either were killed on the spot or now are locked away in a cell."

"See I told you Moony didn't do anything!" Sirius glared at him, Peter gave him a look, "continue."

"St. Mungo's was not properly prepared for such a flow of now turned wizards. Even a few of the attacked were muggles, whose families now are confused as ever as they are entered into the realm of magic. And the ministry has no idea what to do with the, weither to erase the family member from their memories or however else to handle it." Peter sighed, "I think they should just erase their memories…it'd be best."

Sirius stared at Peter, "W-what are you talking about! That'd be like if you all the sudden lost your magic, and the law said you couldn't see magic anymore! Your parents and all of us would have to forget you." Peter sighed, "It'd be easier still then having to explain it to them all right?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "keep reading."

"As of now, people are still being found though most of them dead, there is a doubt any turned human before last night did not partake in this brutal assault."

"Except Remus Lupin."

Peter folded the paper and sighed, "it doesn't say that Sirius, but I'm sure your right." Peter jerked back as Harold sneezed loudly in his sleep sending sparks nearly across the room, "bloody hell!" Sirius chuckled, "Serves you right."

The next few hours were spent in silence, Peter left soon after lunch as his shift at his job had called him in. Today had been Sirius and James' day off so at least Sirius was lucky in that sense. And once Lily was awake and stable Sirius left to head home and check on Remus.

Slipping into the flat he found Remus sitting at the kitchen table head in his hands, "What are you doing up?" Sirius asked as he stepped inside, Remus raised his head; dark bags were under his eyes as he looked at his lover. "How is James? And Lily?"

"Both are fine Rem, James will pull through and Lily and the baby are safe…though it's taken a turn for Jane and Harold." Remus raised an eyebrow, "They're worse…but I'm sure they'll be fine." Remus gave no fuss as Sirius linked arms underneath him. "Let's get you in bed werewolf, time for a nap."

"I read the paper," Remus whispered. Sirius stopped midst ride to look down at him, "…what if I turned someone they'll hunt me down-"

"You didn't turn anyone. It's fine Remus, now come on bed."

"What if I did! They'll lock me up or- or they'll put a bull-"

"Remus John Lupin, you did NOT bite anyone. Ok, you were not a part of that…hunt. So just, come on let's go to bed."


	54. Statements

**Sorry about no chapter yesterday, FF wouldn't let me load the chapter. Sorry about that! Anyway hope you enjoy the chapter.**

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><p>"Mr. Lupin?" Remus looked up from the waiting room of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, closing his book he sighed. He honestly had no idea why he was here. But after receiving a summons during breakfast he wasn't exactly going to ignore it.<p>

Sirius had seen and read the notice a few times before giving him a shrug "I'm not sure what it's for Rem…be careful there are rumors going around…shit's being faked a lot more lately. Easier to catch wizards, if you don't know who your following keep an eye out on everything. First fishy thing you see make a run to the bathroom…if you can't I'd make some sort of noise." And that information didn't make Remus feel even a bit better.

Remus had only been inside the level of the DMLE when he went to the Auror' office to see Sirius a few times at work. So if worst came to worst at least he knew how to get there, that was if he could sneak away. The officer who had called him was walking a few strides ahead of him. He had dark blonde hair and stood about the same height as himself. "Do you know why you're here?" the office asked once he was sitting inside an interrogation room, Remus' throat tightened as he shook his head.

"I'm Officer. Stark, and my team members and I have been studying break-ins that happened last year. And until recently we didn't even know about yours until another detective of ours finally dropped your case into our laps. Want to tell me why we weren't notified of this?"

Remus felt that a face palm wasn't an appaprotie reaction to what he'd just been told so instead he let out a heavy sigh. "I live with a friend of mine, who works as an Auror-"

"Pff, shoulda known those bastards think their SOO much better than us."

Remus ignored his interruption and continued on, "And when he came home that-"

"He? Who is it?"

Clenching his jaw Remus looked up at the officer, "Sirius Black,"

"PHA you mean that good for-" he stopped as he shook his head. Remus had to clench his fist under the table to maintain his calm disposition. All the fear of earlier gone replaced with a bit of rage, "And where were you the night it happened, the file said the flat was empty except for a dog."

"I was out."

"Anyone that can verify that? And can you explain why there is no testament from you in Darren's file?"

"No, no one can verify that, and I was ill so I didn't feel like being around anyone."

"So no one can verify, not even a bar tab?" Remus felt his nerves return as Stark started to scribble down on a piece of parchment.

"I hadn't been out to drink."

"Then, if no one can verify. And you weren't out on the town. Care to tell me where you were?" Stark finally met his eyes and Remus felt sweat trickle down the back of his neck. This is why he'd asked Sirius just to leave it be. He knew eventually they'd question him. "Mr. Lupin," Stark folded his hands and looked Remus over, causing him to squirm a bit. "Do you know how many cases much like yours end in death? How many at this moment are sitting unsolved?"

Remus ran his fingers through his hair as he shook his head, "There were four attacks the same night as yours. And they all tend to happen along with full moon…a lot of things are coinciding with a werewolf. Except not all the victims were bit."

"Then it couldn't be a werewolf, at least not in those cases." Stark raised an eyebrow, "W-well because don't werewolves always bite?" Remus gave a nervous chuckle as Stark shrugged, "Might not want to bite if the person's had their guts slashed out." Remus cringed. "So anyway Mr. Lupin, where were you on that night?"

"As I said earlier I was out."

"Where?"

Remus sighed, "I'm not quite sure where I was. Around seven I was in the park…after that I don't know where."

"Which park?"

"One of those on the outskirts of Cambridge…look I don't exactly remember that was…months ago!" Stark gave a grunt as he scribbled more notes down. Remus craned his neck to try and get a glance before Stark looked back at him. "Look Mr. Lupin, trying to protect anyone will get you in serious-"

"I know the penalty and I'm not protecting anyone. I wasn't home and I have no memory of that night." In hindsight that wasn't the best idea to say nor was it very smart to say it in the dark tone Remus had given the officer because that second the words flew from his mouth the good cop act faded away. "Are you getting smart with me?"

"No sir, I'm just trying-"

"Because if you are-"

"Look you can talk to Siri-"

"He was injured that night before, he wasn't home either. We have Black's statement I want yours!"

Remus leaned back in his chair lost for words, "Now care to tell me WHY you weren't home?" Remus muttered something under his breath, arms crossed at his chest. "Excuse me?"

"I said I'm a werewolf, I was out that night on a transformation." Stark seemed lost for words as he sat back in his chair. Remus heard the chair being pulled from the table and the door opening and closing. Once Remus looked up and saw he was alone he placed his head in his hands and did his best to calm his nerves. This wasn't going to end well. It'd been so good so far…not a single run with the law. And now after someone had trashed their flat his name would publicly go on record. Whatever bit of testimony they deemed useful from now on wouldn't count.

"You're free to go." Remus looked up after a few moments at a slender woman; she gave him a warm smile that didn't reach her eyes. He hated the way people looked at him once they knew. There were only a select few in his life that had ever given him kind looks once they knew. And none of them were here now.

"BLACK!"

"Yes sir?" Sirius poked his head out of his office door, he groaned as he noticed Stark was standing beside him, "Of course Darren hands it off to the one man I hate more than Snivellius." He muttered as he left his and James' office, ignoring James' snickers.

"Twenty minutes, this is your lunch. Enjoy it." Sirius rolled his eyes the second his captain's back had been turned. Sirius and James had recently been removed from the lower workings of the Auror office, given new positions and a new captain, Captain Larz. Who was all work and no play and worked very well with the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Barty Crouch Sr., who hated Sirius with a passion.

"Stark, how is it?" Sirius gave him a weak smile as he stood beside the man, "I'd like to go down to the-"

"We'll be going to an interrogation room," Stark gave him a dark smile. "We have much to talk about, Black…seeing as you sneak around. And have one of your friends' do your lab work for you, and boy are the two of you in trouble."

"Now hold on a minute, Darren isn't in trouble. He'd have told me otherwise."

"Might lose his job, working with the likes of you. Especially on a case this big."

"His TEAM was working on this! I knew who to go too, dammit Stark don't pull your bullshit with me."

Inside of the interrogation room Sirius wouldn't take a seat instead he paced the room arms across his chest. "I gave a statement to-"

"I had Mr. Lupin just in here, about ten minutes ago." Sirius froze and turned, clenching his jaw he growled, "And why did you have him here? He wasn't home I gave that in my statement or can you read?" Stark growled and opened up his file, "You're aware you live with a class five werewolf?"

"I'm well aware my best friend is a werewolf yes."

"And then your also aware he was out…you know with the recent attacks I could-"

"If you take this schoolboy crush out on him I'll destroy you Stark." Sirius growled at him, "I'm a Black remember and we burn those who cross us. So if I were you I'd remove your sticky fingers from Remus because if you start a hunt on him…" Sirius leaned forward on the table, grinning a wide tooth grin, "I will destroy you."

Stark leaned back and cleared his throat, "It's my job to uphold the law."

"It's my job to keep you where you are." Sirius chuckled, "Now about this case, I gave my statement. And if you bullied one out of Remus I will press charges. I'm not afraid of you. I wasn't in school and I won't be here."

"There might be a day Black you need someone on your side."

"The last person I'd call is you, especially if you're still going to be nasty about everything. Now that you've wasted ten minutes of my lunch want to tell me why you needed a new statement?"

"I wanted to see if anything had changed, I also wanted to see you." Stark gave him a friendly smile, "it's been a while." Sirius rolled his eyes, "not my type. Also dating now, so…sorry. And nothing has changed, came in place was trashed. Remus was missing due to transformation. Once he was back home I called Darren and he did a sweep." Stark nodded, "it's more in detail on my statement you've waited a while so…I've sort of forgotten."

"There have been more, so we figured we'd review the cases. We had another break in where a couple survived, so we have two surviving couples." He eyed Sirius, "both flats had one thing in common."

"On yea and what's that?" Sirius muttered as he glanced down at his nails doing his best to seem uninterested.

"Werewolves."


	55. Secrets

**Sorry it's short, but I feel like despite it being short it's a good chapter. :)**

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><p>Sirius had felt sick the rest of the day, so they hadn't been tearing in for information. It'd been a warning, for Remus, maybe? Why had they sent a warning for Remus? He wasn't doing anything different, his order workings were one of the few most secret things. He almost never went to meeting anymore since he'd been accepted into the local pack. There was no way anyone knew about it. It was supposed to look like he was a werewolf who wanted to belong.<p>

But…was it possible? Could someone know, was that why there had been a warning? That'd been his first night working with them, oh shit…what if that'd not been for Remus but for Sirius, they could have easily smelt him on Remus. And werewolves didn't like it when werewolves mated with anyone other than another wolf. And it didn't help Sirius was a man either. It couldn't be that! Remus wouldn't stand for it, he'd marked him for God's sake! They were partners, MATES!

"Sirius, anything wrong?" Remus had played calm all day, he hadn't let out his frustration or fears. Sirius had seemed distant since he'd walked in the door earlier that evening. He hadn't even given Remus a kiss upon first sight of him since he'd walked in the door. Sirius looked up and shook his head, "Thinking about work is all."

"Anything I can help with?"

"What do you do for the order?" Sirius blurted out, his grey eyes locked with Remus'. Remus just stared at him before shrugging "I can't tell you, you know that. It'd just cause problems."

"It causes problems without you even telling me! I'd like to know if I need to worry about a werewolf attacking me every second I'm outside of this flat!"

Remus starred at him wide eyed, "W-what the fuck are you talking about! What's gotten into you?"

"The attack Remus! Honestly you haven't figured it out!"

"Are you serious? Sirius your crazy! It was random! It has nothing to do with the order, you said so yourself that others had been attacked as well why would that have to do with us!"

"There was another Remus! And the couple survived and guess what like us, one of them is a werewolf!" Remus starred at him, "Oh look there goes the little light bulb! Figured it out yet smartass?"

"Why are you being so nasty, so what! Do you want me to feel bad for being a werewolf because that officer did a bang up job of it already! Fled the damn room once he knew! I figured you of all people really wouldn't care that I was a werewolf why is it a problem now?"

"Stark left the room?"

"Know him?"

"He had a crush on me our third year, even felt me up once or twice. Of course I gave him a good what's for but still I know him. And he's never let it go, if anything the beating I gave him just made him more determined."

"WHAT!"

"Oh Moony come off of it! We all have our secrets and how would that have made me look back then? And what would James or you have done to him? He didn't need more of a ass kicking." Sirius frowned as he watched his lover pace the room like a wild animal, "You mean to tell me I sat down with a man who felt you up as a child!"

"HE WAS FOURTEEN! Remus it was YEARS ago and who am I with! Calm down. But that's not the point, the point is that either someone came in to warn you or I. And I really don't like that idea."

"The point is that if it concerns me it's none of your damn business." Remus snapped as he stormed towards his office, "And if it's about you then you don't need to worry about it. Wolves won't attack a marked mate. So you can just sit tight and do whatever the fuck you normally do. Because that's what you do Sirius Black, you just sit there and just…do whatever." Remus had lost his fire as he finished his statement but slammed the door to his office despite it. Sirius just sat there starring at the door, unsure of his next move.

Once his office door was shut Remus leaned against it and let himself side down the door and hid his face in his hands. He hadn't meant to snap at Sirius, he felt like his head had been set on a spin cycle and with Sirius pointing his fingers at him it'd made him even more upset. What was he to do, just leave the pack. Which wasn't even an option because if he did he could only imagine what they'd do to Sirius or himself. Packs were for life, you never left unless they kicked you out.

And yes he'd been keeping it all a big secret from Sirius, he didn't like the idea. But Dumbledore had said it might be best to keep the marauders as well as the rest of the order out of the loop. Less people in danger with werewolf secrets the better. It'd only put them in danger. And once the attacks had started Dumbledore had under another suggestion said he stopped using his hide away and went out with the wolves every full moon.

It was another secret he'd kept from Sirius, in the pack Remus had found a friend. Someone he could trust enough to get him from the cellar during those nights and then put him back in the morning. Sirius was never the wiser.

There had been close calls, and on the few mornings he didn't make it back, he'd just tell Sirius, Dumbledore had sent him on another night with the wolves. He did whatever was necessary to keep Sirius out of harms way at all costs. He'd use his Wolfsbane once in a while, and would only drink so much of it to keep it from hurting. Never enough to fully contain his control.

"Remus," Sirius called from the other side of the door. "I didn't mean to get upset…I'm just…we…I…" he stopped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose it. I just worry about you…I can't be with you anymore on transformations for when you work with the wolves." Remus cringed, that wasn't even the reason anymore. "And I miss those times…they were some of the best of my life…the war is messing with my mind…just so much to worry about…and with James and Lily…Remus please…I'm sorry."

Remus couldn't help the small smile that slipped on his lips, Sirius floundering for words was rather amusing. And he typically said the cutest things when he was lost for words. "Can I come in?" Remus sighed and stood up opening the door.

"I didn't mean to slam the door…I just needed a minute." Remus smiled, "I didn't mean to get upset either, it's just…I don't like thinking it's my fault."

"It's not your fault, it's whatever monsters are out there doing this. And before you think it I am not calling you a monster because your not! I am saying those that choose to lose control are, there are things made now, places they can hide and keep everyone safe. No one chooses that life." Remus cringed inwardly, wasn't he doing just what Sirius said?

"Come on," Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' middle and grinned. "I'm going to make dinner, then were going to sit there on that couch and watch terrible telly then once we are stuffed and bored were going to crawl into our bedroom and forget all about today."

"Sounds like a damn good plan." Remus smiled, pushing back all the worry and doubt that now filled his mind. He could deal with it later, for now his very attractive lover was pulling him towards the kitchen and with the look on his face he could tell dinner was not all that was on his mind.


	56. Partner

**Start of a three part story, I really don't like breaking things into parts. BUT I don't like posting very long chapters either, and I really like making things into cliffhangers...as terrible as that may be XD. Enjoy**

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><p>"I'll see you in the morning." Remus muttered as he walked towards the front door, but hoping Sirius wouldn't react was really a lost cause. "W-where are you going! I though we were going to dinner ya know before the moon came out…like normal?"<p>

"I have plans…pack stuff ya know…"

Sirius gave him a face before shaking his head, "Ya know…I really don't like you running off there's a perfectly good-"

"Who says I want to hide what I am anymore!" Remus snapped. Sirius stared at him completely bewildered by his boyfriend's attitude. "I just…" Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. He felt like he wasn't supporting Remus by keeping him in the cellar, but with all the eyes on werewolves right now he thought it was safest. "I just don't want you in trouble…I couldn't defend you if I know your not safe."

"I'll get back in the cellar Padfoot, am I not always there when you come get me?" Remus gave a smile, despite the gut wrenching knot the formed in his gut. Sirius gave him a smile and chuckled, "This is true; I guess I'll see you in the morning?" Remus nodded, "I'll see you then." With a quick kiss goodbye he was off.

Remus slipped out into the early summer air, despite the heat of summer he felt cold inside. That was the third time this year he'd lied to Sirius. And Sirius trusted him, trusted him to be there away from the rest of the wolves. So he was always safe from a Ministry threat if anything was to happen and they come knocking on their doorstep. Walking down the London roads he couldn't talk himself out of the sick feeling he felt.

He was doing this to keep him safe! Why did it hurt him so much? Because that wasn't the only reason…he knew it deep down. If it was just to keep Sirius safe and he truly believed that was the only reason he wouldn't be upset. But as he walked along the road, knowing there was someone waiting for him.

Someone who cared about his well being enough to sneak him back inside of his flat and hide him in a cellar, when that same person would be just as weak as he was. Made him feel very special, and very worthwhile. It's not that Sirius didn't make him feel that way, it was just…a different sort of special. A sort of special Sirius could never be.

"Remus!" With the call of his name Remus turned and flashed the man who had walked up beside him a smile. "I've been calling you for twenty minutes, you sort of ignored me. Anything the matter?" Remus shook his head, "Just feel bad lying to Sirius…ya know the normal."

"This is why I'll never mark anyone. Well at least not a normal person…it'd suck to be tied down." Remus looked the man over, dark brown ear length hair and pale blue golden flecked eyes. His name was Harris, and he was a much lower ranked wolf than Remus. Both by wolf and Ministry standards, but that hadn't stopped him with getting to know him and become friends. And eventually let him come over to the flat and talk to him and explain the situation. Which Harris had happily said he'd help with.

"He'll be fine you know, Sirius that is. Its better he doesn't know. Laurence doesn't like that you're with a human, and a male at that. He think we wolves deserve real women companionship…muggles and normal wizards alike just aren't good enough for us. That and well…being gay is only fear of rejection. Or so he says."

"But you know me, that's not true."

"Yes…I do, though sadly you've marked him which Laurence doesn't like. You're lucky he keeps you in the pack."

"Are you saying I should break it off with him?" Remus laughed as Harris rolled his eyes. "I would but we know that's not possible. Besides I guess if you're happy you should just…stick with it. But…oh well, so where to for dinner?"

"Anywhere, I'm not that hungry." Harris sighed, "Nor am I…wanna go meet the pack then?" Remus shrugged. He really didn't feel like going to see them now anyway. He didn't feel like eating, really what was on his mind was his flat, and his man. Curling up beside him as a harmless wolf and going to sleep.

He could already feel the itch of the moon on his skin, and if it wasn't for helping the order. Or his own personal duty to make sure that the local wolves stayed in check he wouldn't be here. But…he needed to be it was important for him to know what was going on and just who was doing what.

When the moon came out, and Moony took over, there was much less to think about. All that was left to do was run with his fellow wolves and enjoy a night out on the moon. But even then in the back of the wolf's mind. He could still smell Sirius running beside him, there were times he'd even look beside him expecting to see a large black dog with silver eyes. And each time he would instead of seeing his mate he'd see Harris with gleaming blue eyes and a sliver coat.

"Remus? Rem come on get up. We have to go."

Remus groaned covering his face from the sunlight. He felt clothes be tossed onto his stomach and he sat up. "Harris?"

"Yes, come on we gotta get you home, before you dog comes hunting for you."

"Pha, let his dog come. I'd like to see who this 'Sirius' is. I'd like to see him take on a pack of wolves." Laurence growled from the side. "We'll remove this burden from Remus so he can be a normal wolf with a normal mate." Remus looked at the bleach blonde leader. He didn't look like most wolves; barley had any scars and seemed in perfect condition.

Though his scar less body cost him dearly, he'd killed a few muggles once upon a time. And never stopped his inner wolf from coming out. He was a low enough wolf for the Ministry not to really catch him, since most of his pack was wolves he turned himself. And they tended to behave well enough.

And despite Remus' more alpha wolf he was lower in the ranks due to his drive to not harm or kill other humans. That and because he had joined a pack instead of forming his own he was lower in rank. "Sirius is a fine mate," he grumbled, causing what was left of the pack to gasp. "He's never done anything wrong and he's always at my side."

"Then do tell me Lupin, why does he not run with us like a good mate? OH RIGHT! He can't!" Laurence laughed coldly as he walked over to his female companion and nudged her awake. Remus' jaw clenched as he glared at the alpha's turned back. "You're very lucky I have control…" he growled as he stood up on his feet and started to change.

Once he and Harris were ready to go, and after a pop from the field they'd been in to a pop back into Remus' London flat. They made the quite trek down to the cellar. "I really wish we didn't have to hide you down here…nothing wrong with being a werewolf."

"Sirius thinks it keeps me safe, keeps me from hurting other people…he works in the ministry so…"

"Well you know what we think of the Ministry. Good for nothing bastards who like keeping those below them below. Sirius is only helping the cause, not actually fixing it." Harris pointed out, "not really supporting you keeping you down here. Even if you have your Wolfsbane. He's quite pathetic."

Remus rounded on him, and despite his weakness from the night before pinned Harris against the wall causing his companion to go wide eyed. "I can't fight Laurence when he talks trash about Sirius but I will NOT take it from you! Do you understand me!" Harris gulped before nodding, as Remus slowly lowered him. "He's not pathetic; I've had to hide all my life. And…when he asked me to move in my biggest reason to stay away was because I didn't have a place to transform." Remus ran his hand over the concrete walls and smiled at the small cellar. "He looked all over London to find me a place to stay…And I'm sure he looked other places, he would have settled down anywhere if that's what it had taken." Remus smiled, "he sprung this place on me you know…right after we graduated…told me he had it all figured out…we'd make this place our home."

"Oh yes, locking you up every month…sounds like a good home." Harris snorted. Remus shook his head, "You don't know Sirius…that…it sealed the deal for me. He used to have this flat, it was a beautiful flat. Up to date and just…all his style. He gave it all up for a place that when we moved in was a total dump. So I could have a place to transform…and we could be together. He wanted me with him bad enough he'd give up everything just to have a place for me." Harris rolled his eyes. "Didn't give up too much, he kept himself in London."

"I'd never ask him to leave London, this has been his home. Though he's told me more than once if I ever wanted to be somewhere else. Near the woods or where ever…he'd go there. As long as we were together he didn't care." Remus sighed, "I could never ask him to leave here though. Not when he's done so much for me. I just-" Remus stopped short, he heard footsteps at the top of the stairs. The scent of Sirius lingered in the fresh air the crawled from the stairwell.

"WHO'S THERE!" Sirius' voice was loud and clear. Harris and Remus starred at one another, the cellar had an anti apparition charm on it. No one could pop in or out simply because one might do so while Remus was a wolf, and that would have been a terrible time. "SHOW YOURSELF!"

"It's just me Sirius!" Remus called; there was no where for Harris to hide. Panic filled Remus, his body felt like someone had poured ice water through his veins. He could hear Sirius' steps become quicker now. Any moment he'd hit the landing and see Harris there….

"Why was the door-" Sirius stopped when his eyes landed on Harris. His wand at the ready he glared at him, "What the fuck is going on?" He growled, "Who is this? Why are you here!"

"S-Sirius I can explain, lower you-"

"WHO are you?" Sirius' teeth were barred as Harris held his hands up in defeat, "calm down mate, I'm a wolf in Remus' pack I-" Sirius rounded on Remus, the look in his eyes nearly crushed Remus to bits. "S-so you ditch me…for a wolf? I thought you know, we were marauders…that's half of our job! To be with you!"

"Sirius it's not like that." Remus reached out as Sirius backed up, "Just tell me why I can't be here too…what did I do wrong?"

"Maybe locking him in a cellar…" Harris pointed out, "It'd turn any wolf against you."

"Shut your trap!" Sirius growled. The look of betrayal was etched all over Sirius' face. "Sirius, lower your wand. Let me explain."

"Have you been lying to me?" Sirius looked at him, "Please tell me you've been here all this time…please tell me you didn't lie to me." Remus bowed his head, he couldn't look at Sirius. If there was one thing Sirius hated more than a purebloodist it was a liar. "I can't do that…" Remus whispered. He heard Sirius lower his wand. He could hear him walk closer, he expect a punch in the face. Instead Sirius lifted him up, "Let's get you into bed…you've had a long night." When Harris came forward to help Sirius growled "keep your hands off…but follow me. I want a word with you." Remus gulped, this was not how he wanted Sirius to find out.


	57. Coming Clean

**Part two, and I really hope this doesn't feel like it's running on...it just would have been a very long chapter if I hadn't broken it apart. With both this and the last chapter it'd have been over five thousand words. And before I seperated it, it felt like a very run on chapter. Thus the seperation, plus there's some more in the next chapter...but still. It'd have been rather long if I'd kept it all together.**

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><p>Sirius had been quite most of the afternoon. He'd tended to both wolves, and then went to work. He'd not spoken much to Remus as he tended to his after moon wounds. The occasional "Is this to tight?" or "does this hurt?" And didn't speak a lick to Harris as he cleaned and bandaged his wounds. His eyes were like ice, daring anyone to cross him. Remus pitied anyone who crossed Sirius' path today; because he was likely to cut off their heads with one snap of his teeth. His only words to Harris before he left were "You sleep on the couch…if I catch you in my bed…" it had been a dangerous sort of tone that had come out of his mouth. The kind of tone Remus had only heard twice in his life. The kind of tone that in their fourth year got a Slytherin blasted down three sets of stairs before someone finally dared to stop him.<p>

Remus lay awake in bed, he couldn't find the time with his panicking brain to sleep. Meanwhile in the other room he could hear Harris snoring softly. Lari was curled up next to Remus in the bed her head resting on her master's leg. "I really pissed daddy off," he muttered as he stroked her behind her ears. "I just…wanted to keep him safe…ya know…" She glanced at him before turning her head to face the wall. "You too huh?"

The whole flat was silent other than the sound of Harris breathing or the occasional grunt from Lari. Remus tired to sleep, but couldn't sleep. He tried to read and the words seemed to blur together. And eventually he gave up on trying to do anything and decided to lay there.

He waited until five o'clock rolled around and Sirius walked back through the door. Lari hopped off the bed and trotted over to him. "Hello love," he'd whisper to her. Remus listened he could barely see Sirius out of the door way. He went into the kitchen grabbed himself a butterbeer and sat down at the kitchen table.

He looked terrible like he'd been through hell and back. Then again he probably felt like he had. Sirius was a very trusting person. If you gave him your word he held you too it, and if you misplaced his trust…you tended to screw yourself over.

Remus had never really lied to the marauders, other than before they knew he was a werewolf. "My mother's sick. I need to take care of her." "On full moon? Why…is she a werewolf?" "No! She just…is sick that's all my dad isn't around a lot and though she's not a werewolf the moonlight makes her sick."

How silly they'd been as children believing the moon could cause more sicknesses than just a werewolf. But it didn't take them long to figure everything out. And when the marauders had confronted him he was scared Sirius would hate him. By then he knew how Sirius was with liars. But instead he'd only asked for him simply to never lie to him again. And like that all was forgiven. "Padfoot?" Remus called, Sirius raised his head from his hands and looked up at Remus. "Yes?"

Remus went to get out of bed but Sirius was already standing, "I'm coming hold on." Remus settled back in bed, he was babying him. And it hurt and aggravated Remus to no ends. "I can walk you know." He grumbled once Sirius was inside of the room. "Just want to make sure your ok…" Sirius whispered as he sat down at the foot of the bed. "What'd you need?"

Remus looked him over, "Do you hate me?" Sirius starred at him for a long time before looking down at his hands, toying with the ring on his left hand. "No…no I don't hate you. I could never hate you Remus…but…" Sirius looked up at him, "Do you still love me?"

The question knocked the air right out of Remus' chest as he starred into Sirius' deep grey eyes. He had to swallow a lump that formed in his throat. Of course he did! Why wouldn't he? "Because…if you don't…I know you can't change the mark…but…" he looked at Harris. "I'll do whatever it takes too-"

"I love you Sirius," Remus whispered before reaching for his hand. "I love you more than anything! That will never change!" Remus squeezed his hand causing Sirius to look back at him. "Please…don't think because I didn't tell you that I don't love you, because I do…that's why I didn't-"

"Trust me with it? Remus…didn't I show you when we were kids-"

"Not that I don't trust you…it's so you don't get hurt. The alpha doesn't like it…and you'd want to follow me…"

"Do you always leave?" Sirius looked at him with child like eyes. It burned inside of Remus' gut as he looked away. He felt the bed sag for a moment before it returned to its former shape. And the place were Sirius had been sitting slowly grew cold. "Yes…" Remus whispered to no one.

Dinner was made and both Remus and Harris were served, with less than a single word from Sirius. He didn't speak, not a peep. He offered the couch to Harris, which of course the wolf took. After Harris was asleep, and all of Sirius' work he'd brought home that evening done. The eldest Black son slowly walked into his bedroom to face Remus again.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered as he walked towards the bathroom, again not a sound came from his lips. He undressed once he was back in the bedroom and crawled into bed. "Sirius." Remus tried again. Sirius lay on his back and starred up at the ceiling. "Remus…what am I going to do if the ministry comes, huh?" He looked at Remus seriously.

"Because…if you hurt someone…" Sirius shook his head as he looked away, "You know the punishment for a wolf your rank…for hurting someone…" Remus looked at him, "Yes I do."

"Then why put yourself in danger…what's the point." Sirius put his hands behind his head. "Why can't we do it like the old days? Why do you have to go out and run with a stupid pack…that you can't even TALK to me about? You can't even be open and honest, 'look Sirius I can't use the cellar anymore I need to be with the pack if I want to stay in it.' I still don't get WHY you have to stay in it anyway, so what Dumbledore wants it doesn't your LIFE count more?"

Remus laid there as he stared at his lover, he glanced at the open door and frowned. "Why's the door open?" Sirius never slept with the door open, even if no one was in the flat. It had always been a force of habit for him. "Incase you got lonely." The words sounded like they hurt Sirius to say, and it caused a vice grip to tighten around Remus' heart. "Why would I get lonely?"

"Because I'm not a wolf…" Sirius rolled over giving his back to Remus. The words were choked out, and Remus rolled his eyes. Of course it was about him. "Of course…we make this about you…" Sirius went still as he laid there. "You know maybe that's why I run off! It's always about you and what YOU want! Maybe I don't want to be in the cellar anymore! Maybe I want to run with the pack because for once in my life I am the same as everyone else! Because for once in my life I am appreciated around. Even if I joined the pack for Dumbledore he needs that information and I'm the ONLY one who can get it to him. I'm sorry I'm not like you Sirius and can go out and fight everyone…I'm sorry I can't be a normal person." Remus flipped over his back facing Sirius. The glare on his face quickly faded away after the words replayed over in his head.

Sirius had every right to feel he wasn't enough, he really did. He'd done nothing but offer his help, he and the rest of the marauders had always been by his side. And finally after he was with a pack there was no reason for them to believe he didn't need them anymore. He felt Sirius move away more, and it hurt.

"I just worry about you Rem…when you go off. I know it feels like I just wanna keep you around because you're a werewolf…but I just want you safe. I don't want you to hurt anyone…I made that mistake when I was sixteen…I remember how you felt. I vowed that day to do everything in my power to never let it happen again…I never told you because" Remus heard Sirius gulp. "Because I never thought I'd have to really step forward…you're always so good with keeping people safe." A deep breath, "And here you are running around with werewolves…while the war's going on and people hear about all these terrible things wolves are doing…they get scared. And people buy guns with silver bullets…and every night you go out I can't sleep because over and over again I can hear a gun shot play through my head…" Sirius' voice faded away as Remus started to feel the bed shiver. When it finally eased up Remus felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut with a knife. "I didn't mean to get upset…I understand you need to be with wolves…I just…Nevermind. I'm sorry."

It took Sirius twenty minutes to fall asleep, and all night he tossed and turned. The only reason Remus was aware of this was because he found himself laying there starring in the dark.


	58. Worries

**And the end of the three parts! Hopefully this wasn't a terrible part. I'm not to pleased with it, but I've tried to fix it and make it better...and it's still not quite what I wanted. But I think it's good enough to post. Enjoy :)**

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><p>It was about four am when Sirius sat up in the bed. With Remus' back still too him, he nearly leaped out of his skin when he felt Sirius' fingers running through his hair. He felt Sirius slowly run kisses from the base of his neck, down to his shoulders then over his shoulder blades and lower back. He stopped at his hip before nuzzling his hip bone. "Tell me why Remy…why you didn't tell me the truth."<p>

Remus felt goose bumps rush over him as Sirius' hot breath raced over his sensitive skin. "Because I was afraid…"

"Afraid of what?"

"You'd hate me…"

Sirius sat up and looked down at him, "Why would I hate you? I could never hate you." Remus rolled over and looked at him, searching his face for signs of sleep. He wanted to make sure Sirius was very clear and conscious when he spoke to him, he was not about to pour out his heart if he was even the least bit asleep. And was happy to find that he was very wide awake. He sat up in bed and sighed, with a wave of his hand the bedroom door quietly shut. "I was afraid you'd hate me because I wanted to go out with the wolves."

"I wouldn't hate you for that." Sirius sat back in the bed and looked at him, "I'd be worried…I'd try to talk you out of it. But I wouldn't hate you. I understand…I really do."

"Why would you talk me out of it? If you understood…I thought you wanted what was good for me?" Sirius sighed, "I want what will keep you safe. I don't want you marked as a death eater or someone who works for Voldemort…sneaking around me doesn't help that image." Remus starred at him. "Are you calling me a traitor?"

"NO! I just…to others…" he sighed, "you never used to want anyone to know…and thanks to the Order your…I don't know happy with it?" Remus laughed and shook his head. "I'm far from happy with it." He squeezed Sirius' hand, "they just give me something the marauders never could Sirius and it sounds terrible to say but knowing everyone around you suffers the same you do it just-"

"Then turn me." Sirius held Remus' gaze for a few long moments. Remus felt himself go ridged "W-what"

"Turn me…make me a werewolf, so I can be there for you." Sirius starred at him, Remus blinked a few times before shaking his head. The idea pleased the wolf to no ends, but deep inside he knew if he bit Sirius things would never be the same…it would change him. Sirius couldn't handle it. "No."

"Why! So you can be special…tell me Remus why!"

"Because I won't do it! Do you understand what this feels like! How much it hurts, and how people look at you! You couldn't deal with it…hell I can barley handle it…Sirius I love you too much to do that."

"Then what can I do, to make this easier? I don't want you out there!"

"I NEED to be out there! I'm the only werewolf Dumbledore can trust! Sirius…" Remus sighed, "I didn't mean to lie…I didn't want to but Dumbledore said it would be best, to keep you out of the loop. He knew it would hurt your feelings."

"So instead you lie, when you know how I HATE liars. Remus…this isn't like you…who is this man that lies to me? Huh? You made me a promise…to never lie to me again, what happened to that?"

That hurt, deep down Remus felt something snap inside of him as his head hung low, "I don't know…I thought…I thought it'd be easier."

"It wasn't…what would have happened if you got hurt or worse out there. And the next morning I came down and you weren't there…and you-" Sirius stopped as he looked away the thought to bad to finish. Remus looked up at him, "If I was to lose you…I don't know what I'd do…I can't handle any more death…I'd die without you Remus…"

Remus looked at him before wrapping his arms around Sirius, "I'll be ok. The pack is very protective; none of us are stupid enough to hunt humans. It's just easier for us…for all of us to be together as a pack. And now you know I won't be there…I just…" Remus nuzzled his shoulder and placed a soft kiss against the scar on his shoulder.

Sirius looked at the mark then back to him, "that means the same thing to me as it did the day I decided to have it done." Sirius' voice was soft and gentle as he rubbed Remus' thigh. "It means that I'm always here for you, your strength when you're weak, your shelter, your warmth. Everything you ever need I can be that. I love you Remy…more and more each day." Sirius gave a deep sigh as he looked at Remus.

"That was the corniest thing you've ever said to me." Remus whispered as he wiped the tears from his eyes, "gone soft Black?" There was a smile on his face; Sirius had an identical smile as he shoved him. "SO much for a sweet moment!" He chuckled before pulling him down with him as he fell. "Anything else that you're hiding from me?" Sirius nuzzled him, Remus shook his head.

"By the way, there's nothing between me and Harris. He's just helping me." Remus looked at him, "I swear it." Sirius nodded and kissed Remus' cheek, "Good cause if there was I could take him. I'd easily retrieve what is mine."

"You're such a dog!" Remus laughed as he buried his face in Sirius' neck. He felt much better, and now it was time after a long day for sleep.

"James…I just don't know what to do." Sirius muttered as he rubbed his face with his hand. Lily was visiting her parents so the little house James and her shared was rather empty.

"Well what it sounds like to me is Remus didn't want you to know…Padfoot it's nothing terrible, we don't understand how wolves are. And so far his little pack hasn't done a thing; I ran a search like you asked. Everything is clear; the only one in his pack to ever hurt humans is the alpha. And all of his people he's hurt are turned and they run in his pack. And he served his time."

"His alpha doesn't like that he lives with a man…and…well he doesn't like I'm a human either. Look Prongs…I just I need some help here. You know how you told me in school, trust the little red flags…Prongs I'm seeing little red flags…"

James looked from the window to Sirius, tilting his head he studied his friend before letting out a deep sigh, "You still trust Remus right?"

"With my life."

"Then don't worry about it, look its Remus. He's safety is his secrets. We had to break him down before just to know he was a werewolf, this is yet another of his hiding places. He's not messed up yet, the pack is in control. And he's helping the Order and Dumbledore…the least we can do is let him have this." James sat down at the table and patted Sirius' leg. "Come on Pads, this is Moony were talking about. I know him lying to you hurts but…he's still Moony, we trust him right.

Sirius nodded his head; maybe he should take his own personal feelings out of the situation and look at the facts. It was something Remus and James had always told him was one of his biggest flaws. He always put emotion into everything he did, everything he felt or fought for. "Your right Prongs…just scares me you know."

"Keep and eye on him, when he's a human" he quickly added. "Don't run off into pack stuff…you could get him killed." James smiled, "come on cheer up! In a few weeks time I'll be a dad and you a Godfather! We'll all be one big family."

"Remus too?"

James laughed loudly as Sirius grinned, "Yes of course Remus too. As well as Peter…hey, how come we haven't seen Pete lately anyway?" Sirius shrugged, "he's always busy lately."


	59. Just a Normal Day

**We have some foreshadowing in this chapter! Next chapter is going to be a good one!**

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><p>"It's almost July," James grinned ear to ear as he bounced on his toes, "Lils is due anytime! I can't even wait!" Sirius chuckled as James walked into work, "I mean can you believe it Pads? Me a dad! Oh mum and dad would be so pleased." For a moment James' face fell, the mention of his recently late parents filled his mind.<p>

They hadn't been able to fight off the latest batch of Dragon Pox, which they had been fighting for months. It seems the death eaters had secretly claimed yet more lives the night they attacked Lily and James so few months ago. That the worry for their son's life had only made their fight with Dragon Pox even harder. Upon their death James had fallen into a pit of sadness, but not for long. It was very hard to stay sad when there was a baby on the way.

"I mean think of it Pads! The things I'll have to do!"

"OH yes, changing shitty diapers sounds fantastic." Sirius chuckled as he slung his jacket onto the coat rack in their office, "Hey you better get used to the idea!" James grinned, "I shall need well trained baby sitters for Lily and I. Our love life will not die because of a baby. Because…you know I'll want more." He grinned.

Sirius laughed as he rolled his eyes, "Remus can do the diapers, I can do the spoiling and the-"

"You CANNOT be a Godfather without being able to handle the shit that comes along with a baby, quiet literally in this case." James chuckled. "It won't be that bad Pads, really it's just a little bit of poop."

"I can't believe were talking about this," Sirius snickered as he sat down, upon his stack of papers he raised an eyebrow, a memo from the head office laid on his desk. "Did you get one of these?" He scanned the memo over.

_Fellow Auror's,_

_It is here by notice due to the Ministry of Magic that we must inform you at all costs that no unforgivable's be used out in the field unless gravely necessary. We do need these so called, 'death eaters,' alive for questioning and proper punishment. _

_Any Auror seen committing these crimes will lose their badge and will be terminated from duty. Any prior breaking of laws will be held accountable. We must be better than these 'death eaters' and must show that the ministry is trying it's best to protect its citizens, not become the people they fear._

_~Bartimus Crouch Sr. _

_Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement_

"Might wanna be careful Pads," James joked, "Nobody here to clean up your messes now." Sirius rolled his eyes, "I don't see why we can't I'd rather not have someone I'm fighting with or myself die because of these bastards trying to oh I don't know KILL ME!"

"I take it you got the memo," a slender man with red hair poked his head in the marauders office. He was carrying a box full of things. James turned in his chair as his jaw dropped, "what ya got there?" Sirius asked.

"Got sacked, ya know…killing curse and all. Some brute came after my team…so I did what any normal man would, I sent his ass to hell were he belongs."

"AND THEY SACKED YOU?" Sirius and James shouted together both of them starring at him. He nodded, "Damn Will, that's fucked up…stupid bastards. Give it a few months, if this isn't settled and the death eaters get worse off they'll raise this law shit," Sirius grumbled waving the memo. "And you'll be back out here working." Will shrugged, "I don't know Sirius, lucky I wasn't sent to Azkaban then again they need all the cells they can…ya know for the death eaters their catching." Will laughed loudly, you couldn't miss the sarcasm that was in his voice as he walked off, "HAVE FUN BOYS!" he shouted.

When the office door closed Sirius and James looked at one another, "Best hope I don't run into anyone who wants to kill you, Potter. I'm willing to throw my job away for you." James chuckled and nodded, "same here mate. I think the both of us are mighty set with our dearest families." Sirius laughed, "Care if I borrow a Knut bro?"

Most of the day went off without a hitch, after a few hours of being behind the desk, a training course was called. One that Sirius and James had to attend, which they hadn't endured a training class since probably August of last year. Due to the sudden outbreak of unforgivable's being thrown about. Which both James and Sirius aced with flying colors, they barley sat down for lunch before an alarm sounded and they were off to clear a threat of what seemed to be death eaters.

But instead were merely death eaters in training, the threat was quickly handled and a few men brought in. The ones that had been captured, and were handed over to the questioning unit for questioning. Then the dementors were sent in to take them to Azkaban. And anyone who was around in the office when the dark shadows of the Azkaban guard creped in, fled to another place.

"I never want to have to face one of those things…despite a patronus…I'd never want to be around one especially without a wand." James muttered from his desk as the cold shiver of air slipped underneath the door. The glass of their office door started to freeze over like Jack Frost had ran his fingers over the edges.

"Rather scary creatures….I'd hate to have to relive old memories…" Sirius muttered as he pulled his jacket over his shoulders, "Azkaban must be hell…can you imagine?"

"Well I think that's the whole point of it Pads, to be hell on earth. I mean…some of the things these people do, do you want them to not have to suffer?" Sirius shook his head, "I'd like to see Voldemort stuck there…then again his worst memory might just be petting a puppy."

James chuckled as he shook his head, "Your not right, mate. Simply not right."

"Well look who's laughing." Sirius chuckled. "Touché"

When Sirius opened the door to his flat, he was pleased to see yet again Harris was not there. It had been a week since Sirius had discovered him in the cellar with Remus. And despite everything ideas still haunted Sirius' mind. Though he never talked to anyone about them, because he knew he was being silly and the war was just getting to him.

"Remus?" Sirius called as he put his jacket on the coat rack, "Remy love?"

"In the office." Remus called, Sirius grinned as he walked inside, "have you been here all day?" Sirius noticed what was left of Remus' lunch and a few cups littering the desk. Remus looked up and smiled, "I have been. I've been writing a few detailed reports for Dumbledore, since he's been off at Hogwarts and unable to leave due to school. I've sort of been slacking, wanna read?"

Sirius gave him a smile as he pulled up a chair, "Care to switch off work?" Sirius chuckled as he pulled his own work out. "We can switch secrets." Remus rolled his eyes as he took Sirius' work, "sure I can proof read ad mark your mistakes." After the few pages of reports Sirius stood up and gave Remus a kiss, and vowed his return with Chinese food.

It took Sirius the whole walk home to realize he had not only left his flat key in the flat, but he'd also left his wand. Which not only was probably one of the stupidest things one could do while a war was going on. But it also left it almost impossible to get inside.

Sure he could apperate if he really wanted to, but he hated apparition and just too pop in would really be rather annoying. So instead hand full of dinner he knocked on the door. He could hear Lari bark on the other side of the door.

But after a few minutes of no one answering he figured Remus must have popped into the shower, he kneeled down on the floor, resting one hand against the door. "Lari, go get daddy his wand…you know that stick you try and steal. Go get it."

Instead of her retrieving his wand she tried to stick her nose underneath the door, she could already smell the food. "Curse dogs and our fantastic sense of smell. Can you go get Rem for me? The quicker I can get in the quicker I- WHOA!"

The door opened wide causing Sirius to lose his balance and fall face forward onto the carpet. "Well…hello Moony," Sirius looked up and licked his lips as a freshly clean, hair still dripping Remus stood in the door way. All he had on him was a towel and the angle Sirius saw him from was rather interesting. "I could most definitely give you head…right now." Sirius grinned.

Remus laughed, "Get in here that can be your dessert."


	60. Harry James Potter

**It really shouldn't have taken me sixty chapters to get to this point...Oh well WELCOME BABY HARRY!**

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><p>July thirtieth was coming to a close as Sirius curled up beside an already sleeping Remus, he snuggled close as he kissed his lover's cheek. "Goodnight love," he whispered. He heard Remus mutter something in his sleep as he rolled over to face him, pulling him close Sirius snuggled into bed and smiled.<p>

The day had been a long and hard one, the magical world was alive and buzzing with events he just didn't understand. It was a typical response though the entire magical world that when a strong wizard was to be born everything was chaotic. Or that was how the old wives' tale went; Mrs. Potter had always said that when strong magic was born the entire world felt the anticipation of what was to come. Magic misbehaved and those with magic tended to act a little crazy.

And it hadn't helped any of the Law Enforcement department. Sirius couldn't remember the last time he'd sat down until he came home. Constantly on the move, death eater sightings, meetings and other things. It was a hectic day and he was more than glad to know the Order meeting they had had that evening was a rather short one.

Frank and Alice were both missing from the meeting due to the night before going into labor, they all had received good news that the baby boy was well and both mother and child were healthy.

Laying there starring at the ceiling feeling his lover's warm breath against his chest made the whole day fade away. He glanced at the sliver mirror on his bedside table, since the start of July, James had demanded he keep the mirror at arm's reach incase Lily ever went into labor. And Sirius hoped tonight would be yet another quiet evening.

With his eyes getting heavy Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus and let sleep overtake him. But it wouldn't last too long.

"DAMMIT PADFOOT ANSWER YOUR MIRROR!" James' angry shout filled the small bedroom causing Sirius to jump up in bed wide eyed; his hands would first fumble out of the sheets for his wand knocking the mirror to the floor. "PADFOOOOOOT!"

"Prongs?" Sirius looked around, before pulling himself out of bed. "Where you guin?" Remus grumbled as he sat up and yawned. "Prongs where are you?" Sirius called again "Lumos." Remus made a strangled cry as the light hit his eyes, "Dammit Padfoot! Watch that ruddy light!" Remus growled. "Sorry."

"Sirius Black…if you don't look under your DAMN BED WHERE YOU KNOCKED ME OVER! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" James shouted again, Sirius ducked under the bed knocking his head on the bed railing, "What's wrong?"

"Lily's having the baby, you and Remus get your asses dressed and come down here! I need someone!" James looked extremely exhausted, "What we thought was another false alarm is for real this time…water broke all over the bed and everythin!"

Sirius made a disgusted face as he heard Remus chuckle and move from the bed. "Can't you tell her to…I don't know hold on? Can't she like...push it back in, I wanna get some sleep." Remus laughter filled the bedroom as James glared at Sirius through the mirror, "I take that as a no?"

"No Sirius she cannot just shove my child's head back inside her! NOW GET DOWN HERE!"

James' face faded away as Sirius paled, "I will never EVER look at Lily the same way again, Remus…guys can't just pop babies out can they?" Remus doubled over with laughter, "I absolutely love you when your tired, no they can't we don't have a place to pop them out at. Come on get dressed, we have a baby coming!"

Dressed in whatever was handy the two boys strolled into the delivery part of St. Mungo's, they spotted James instantly his hair looked even messier than normal. He was pacing back and forth nearly running a rut in the carpet. "You know if you ruin the hospital's carpet they will make you buy another one." Sirius grinned clapping James on the back. "How's it?"

James looked at him, "I looked like a bloody idiot shouting for you two! Remus why didn't you answer?"

"Out like a light," he chuckled, "Sorry Prongs." James smiled as he took the two marauders by the hand and led them down the hall. "Lils' mom is with her now in the room, I told her I'd wait for you two…that was after she threw something at me."

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "why'd she do that?"

James shrugged, "Apparently pushing out a baby is worse than when a girl is on her period." Remus smacked his forehead, "You know…how it all works right?" he asked.

"Enough that I know you have sex with a girl, and it's the right time she grows a baby and nine months later she pops it out." James chuckled, "Though…watching her-"

"Prongs, don't…I can't handle anymore of the…talk. You gave me too much information already. I don't want to know anymore."

"Well there's this thing called dilation, it's the same as your eyes except with her-"

"REMUS!" Sirius snapped holding his stomach, "I am awake now and I do know how it works…don't do this to me, it is no longer funny. The…miracle of birth is fantastic until you know someone who behind those walls is having to push a baby out…then it's all rather-"

"Terrifying." James chuckled, "But I'm going back in, you two hang tight right here, I want my best mates here when that baby comes. He needs to be held by his Godfather's" James grinned as he slipped back inside the room; "DAMN YOU JAMES HAROLD POTTER!" followed his entry to the room, "HI LILY!" Sirius called back before the door shut behind him.

They sat there for hours waiting, the sun had peered through the hallway windows and once in a while a witch would walk by offering them refreshments or a snack.

"Ya know…I kinda wish James had let us sleep, we've been here nearly seven hours." Sirius grumbled as he leaned against Remus, "and who knows how long Lily and James have been here."

"He needs support Pads, plus your gonna be a Godfather, so you might wanna buck up." Remus chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Give it time, babies take a while to…well enter the world." Sirius leaned his head against Remus' shoulder and yawned, "I'm going to fall asleep right here…ok?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Sure. And after you fall asleep I'll fall asleep on top of you." Sirius was already nodding off, "sounds fantastic."

Both work with a start as a man shook them; they both guessed it was Mr. Evans with the wide grin on his face, "Baby is here, it's a little boy. Go on in."

Sirius starred at the man for a few moments making sure something about him reminded him of Lily; once he spotted it he stood up and walked inside of the room. Remus was at his heels, the two were rather nervous as the entered the room, trying to be as quiet as church mice.

"Sirius," Lily smiled, "And Remus, hell boys." She looked dead tired, dark heavy bags under her eyes, her hair was slicked over with sweat but she had the biggest smile on her face. James was grinning ear to ear, because in his arms was a bundle wrapped in a baby blue blanket. "Padfoot, Moony, this is Harry James Potter." James held him out.

"You gave him your middle name?" Sirius chuckled, "OH and look! He already has hair!"

"Gave me killer heart burn," Lily grumbled, "But at least he's got some, though I can already tell he'll be the spitting image of his father…sadly I married a ugly man to give birth to a ugly child."

"That's not nice!" James grumbled. "I just pushed out a eight pound baby that due to your sperm was created I am allowed to be mean to you James Harold Potter." James quickly grew quiet.

"You should get some rest Lils," Remus ran his fingers through her long red hair; "you looked nearly exhausted."

"I'd say you looked like you just had a baby," Sirius chuckled as he pulled the small blanket back so he could see the baby's face "But you did so…yea I guess that is what you look like." He chuckled, "Aww look at him, Remy come here!"

But the surprise was on Sirius as James held his little bundle out, "here, take your Godson."

Sirius looked up at James; he could see the fear, the pride and the love already in his eyes. Sirius felt the world around him fade away; it was on him and the little baby as he took him gently in his arms. Harry opened his eyes and looked up at Sirius, the baby already could tell the difference in men.

Panic filled the infant's eyes, "Shhh." Sirius whispered as he sat down in a chair his body somehow found. His eyes were completely fixed on the baby in his arms. He started to fuss as Sirius rocked him, this was new life. One of the most precious and innocent things in the world was now held in his arms. Sirius was almost terrified some of his past shadows might rub off on the little baby.

He'd had no problem ever holding a child before, he'd done it quiet often recently with little baby Ron. But now holding his best friend's baby was a different story. Not only that but this was his Godson, this would be his child if anything were ever to fall ill of James and Lily.

Baby Harry opened his mouth wide to yawn before snuggling back into the bundle he was in. Sirius felt his throat clench as he continued rocking him. He hung his head and did his best not to cry.

Sirius wasn't aware of the three pairs of eyes watching him, as he sat there rocking the small baby. He didn't know the three pairs of eyes both had tears in them. "I think we made the right choice," Lily whispered to James. James and Remus both nodded in agreement, Sirius would by far be the best choice.

After a few moments Remus was next to hold the baby, Harry looked up at him and studied his face before making a gurgle of a happy noise. Now used to the idea of being handed around little Harry didn't mind all the eyes that now fell upon him. Remus grinned wide as he rocked the child, "he's such a beautiful baby." Remus smiled. "Gets it from his dad." James grinned a wide grin, the title already settled well on the young man.

"I think it's all thanks to Lils," Sirius chuckled, "Otherwise…well he'd be as ugly as you are." Sirius grinned as James rolled his eyes. "You're an as-jerk" James corrected as Lily gave him a dark gaze. "Ah ah, no naughty words around the baby." Sirius teased.

And for a while, the whole world faded away. Nothing was more important than the people inside of this hospital room. For now everything was the way it was. There was no war, no sadness no death. Just happiness love and life.


	61. Fallen Man

**And now hopefully I can tie things up all nice a pretty for you guys! This fanfic has had it's ramble points I know...but hey some of those rambles have turned into fantastic plots :D...right XD**

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><p>Chapter 61 -<p>

August all but flew by for Sirius and Remus, they either were at home doing there own thing. Or they were helping James and Lily take care of baby Harry, but as the month moved on their help was needed less and less as Harry quickly learned a good sleeping pattern and started to sleep through the night.

The joy was still there every time Remus or Sirius ever held the little boy, and of course the same went for his parents. Pete had even been around to help more than once. Though he did not do nearly as well with the baby. If he was to fuss Peter get all upset, and would create more stress on the little boy. But it just would take time for him to get used to the small baby.

James came into work sometimes looking more ragged than normal but he was always happy an content. Lily had quit her job as a healer due to now being a mother, which to her was the best job in the world. And with the Potter fortune money would never be an issue.

"So Pads, heard anything about that break in, in your flat?" James leaned back in his chair. Sirius shook his head as he continued writing on a piece of parchment, "Not a word, Stark keeps his lips tight and keeps Darren at arms length. Afraid he'll come and blab to me I guess, why do you ask?"

"I heard McDuff talking earlier, apparently they've had another. Same situation as you and Rem, one werewolf one normal wizard. Cept this time they killed the wizard and kidnapped the wolf. Don't know where said wolf is either."

Sirius looked oddly at him, "Why didn't I hear about this?"

"Well apparently it's the same couple who was attack earlier this year, which is why I asked. Ya know…incase…"

James didn't get to finish as Sirius stood up, and headed towards the door. "Hold on mate!" James grabbed him by his shirt sleeve, "Let me go Prongs I need to speak with-"

"Pads, don't go down there and start trouble, you don't know all that's going on. Let Darren come to you, alright. Don't pry it doesn't look good on your character. The less your down there snoopin the better you look to Crouch."

Sirius sighed as James' grip on his shirt loosened, "And what I am supposed to do in the mean time?"

"If you and Rem are in any danger Darren will tell you, he's been good about it hasn't he?" Sirius nodded. "Alright then, now sit back down and finish that report Larz will have your ass if it's not done yet."

"Yea yea! Take his side," Sirius grumbled as he sat back down in his chair. James was right, if there was any immediate danger he would be told so he could do something about it. Plus the full moon had been recent and Remus had gone out and come back home safe and sound. So there really was no worry. Maybe the werewolf in the other case was a rouge or a loner.

A knock came to the door soon after lunch, "Sirius Black?"

Sirius and James quickly grew quiet as the studied the boy that stood in the doorway, he was maybe eighteen fresh out of Hogwarts no doubt, light brown hair and stood maybe five foot nine. "That'd be me," Sirius stood up and walked over towards him, he couldn't help but chuckle as the boy shook a bit. "Can I help you?"

"Mr. Oliver asked me to give you this," the boy held out a letter, his hand shook slightly as Sirius took the letter.

"You look rather familiar," James leaned back in his chair eyeing the boy, "What house were you in in Hogwarts?"

"Hufflepuff," he gave James a smile, "I was a first year when you were in fourth."

"You know James but not me?" Sirius snorted as he looked over the letter, "Am I that easy to forget?"

The boys eyes snapped up to Sirius as he shook his head, "No I just…well…" Sirius clapped him on the back, "Tell Darren I'll meet him later to talk about this," he motioned towards the letter, "thank you." With a nod the boy dashed back out the door.

"By the way James, you're a terrible person with time." Sirius sat down on the edge of his best friends desk and for the third time read the small note over and over. "Why, what's it say?"

"Sirius, I've got something I need to tell you. Couldn't send this letter by owl since Stark is watching me…I think I know more than I should. But this is something you outta know. Meet me at the normal place, you know where. Around eight tonight, we need to talk. Darren."

James raised an eyebrow, "What the bloody hell have you all fallen into! Pads what the fuck have you been doing?" Sirius laughed and shook his head, "Curse of the Blacks I tell you! Fallin into shit we can't handle, no idea. I take it it's about the break in, what seemed like such a simple thing long ago has become more sinister."

James scoffed, "Course it has, it's got you in the mix. Nothing makes anything darker than a Black. OW!" James rubbed his head from the backhanding Sirius had just given him, "you're a twit! It's not my fault, blame Remus and his wolves!"

Seven thirty rolled around, and after a mirror message left to Remus, Sirius was heading out to meet Darren, but the meeting would have to wait because just as he and James walked towards the door the alarm rang for yet another break out of Death Eater activity.

Larz poked his head out, "Black Potter! I only need one of ya, who's going?" James and Sirius exchanged glances, "I'll go." Sirius sighed, "You get home to Lils, I'll see you tomorrow."

"What about your-" James muttered once they were alone.

"Darren'll understand, no worries. He'll know I'm coming probably already got news of an alarm. You stay home with Lils I got this."

Sirius took a quick apperation and landed at the corridants, some random house out in the country was beyond up in flames. A battle raged on the dark mark bright in the sky, wand at the ready Sirius plunged into battle.

Aurors, Order members and regular wizards alike, all fought along side each other to get rid of the massive amounts of death eaters. It was then it dawned on Sirius, this was one of the secret hideaways for Order meetings, they had attacked a meeting!

Remus would be out in the field somewhere…no he wouldn't full moon was nearly two days ago he would still be at home resting. So no Remus, nor would there be Frank and Alice due to the birth of their son nor would Lily be here because of Harry. Maybe Peter would finally be out here, get in some good fighting.

Sirius cased a disarming charm at the man he was battling causing his wand to fly nearly ten feet in the air before landing far away from him. Sirius went to cast a stunning spell but was knocked back by another body. "What the bloody- Darren?" Sirius starred at the man who laid beside him, a gash across his forehead and cuts on his arms. "What the hell!"

"'Ello Sirius, how are you?" Darren chuckled with a quick flick of his wrist his opponent was sent flying, "Didn't think I'd see you here!"

"What the bloody hell are you doing out here?" Sirius reached for his wand sending a new attacker backwards as he stood to his feet helping Darren. "Ministry was short hands, aurors were dispatched a little too late, seems there were a lot of people in that house." Darren nodded his head towards the group that battled on, he knew each and everyone of them. All order members, fighting along side one another, "Seems like some sort of meeting."

"It was," SIrius chuckled as Darren and himself stood back to back fighting, "It's call the Order of the Phoenix! Dumbledore runs it!"

"Apart of it I take it?"

"Course! What'd you need to see me about?"

"Not here! It's about your break it, after the battle we'll-" He was cut short, Sirius could see the blast of green light even with his back turned. He felt the man who had his back lean against him from a moment before falling face first into the grass.

Sirius had no time to react as he turned to his left a little and took on the two wizards who were fighting at his sides. Eventually Arthur broke from the Order crowd and took on the man to Sirius' left. With one last spell Sirius sent the man to his right flying.

He didn't have the time to check on Darren, though knowing nothing could be done he fought on. Darren was dead, a man who had no place out in the battle field against Death Eaters. There was a part in Sirius' head who was glad it was Darren here tonight instead of James. Because James would have been in Darren's place…

Once the fight was finished, the death eaters giving away due to bigger guns in the Ministry stepping in the fight. The one's who were alive and left behind were captured and sent to DMLE (Department of Magical Law Enforcement), the dead were counted.

Sirius lingered looking over the now peaceful form of Darren Oliver, he had been a friend to Sirius they both had tried for an Auror placement but Darren had fallen short in a few places and had settled for a regular wizarding cop position. He'd done rather well, had a fiance out there somewhere. Sirius had met her once or twice, she'd be heart broken by the news.

Sirius doubted he'd ever know what he was going to tell him, he had a feeling it was rather important. "Rest in Peace my friend, enjoy the afterlife. At least there is no pain or war there…" Sirius whispered as he was loaded onto a strecher and taken away.

He was one of the last people standing, making sure everything was cleared up before he apperated home. He knew once he got home he'd fall apart. He'd fought many battles were people died around him. But never someone as close, to him as Darren nor had it happened just behind his back either…it'd be something to haunt his dreams.


	62. Last Night On Earth

**This is sorta a filler/sweet stuff/transition point. :)**

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><p>The door opened and shut roughly, causing Remus to leap out of his seat in the couch, this book falling from his hands. He looked up at the shadow that stood in the doorway, head hung low. Sirius was standing there head hung, the light that peered in through the blinds of the windows from the morning sun barley touched him as he stood there.<p>

"Sirius?" Remus stood to walk towards him, "Sirius, what's a matter?"

"He's dead" Sirius breathed, Remus could hear the cracking in his voice. Remus looked at him as Sirius raised his head to look at Remus.

"W-who"

"Darren…death eater killed him, he had my back…and just" Sirius whispered hand's trembling. Sirius went to fall as Remus caught him. "We were going to have a talk, ya know about the break in…apparently something's going on. But…but death eaters were active so we couldn't go meet up. And somehow he got called there…" his breathing was harsh like he was trying to spit all of his words out at once, "just like that Remus…a man in the wrong place. Fighting, he had my back! If it had been James there tonight…" Sirius' voice gave out as his head his Remus' shoulder, "Just like that…gone."

Remus breathed as he held him close, running his fingers through his hair, "Padfoot…there's noting I can do…Darren knew the risks when he went out…there's a war going on. It's what we all face, every second we're here." Remus looked down at him; Sirius' head was resting on his shoulder as he tried to breathe evenly. Sirius had faced a lot of loss lately, too much loss for such a kind man. They all had, it just wasn't fair but that was life, especially a life full of war.

"I want this to end…I'm tired of everyday…every night hearing some bloke got kidnapped or killed…this is fucking ridiculous! All for what! For pureblood! There won't be a wizard left if it keeps goin on!"

"That might be what it takes Pads…I mean not everyone is level headed," Remus gave a soft chuckle as they sat there in the middle of the floor. "One never knows maybe someone will come along and kill Voldemort and the world can live in peace…until the next crazy comes along. But until then-"

"Moony…don't try and cheer me up your terrible at it," Sirius chuckled as he laid there in his lover's lap. "I just…can't get over the image in my head, the light was just so bright…and I felt him fall against me…Moony…"

"Shhh its ok Padfoot, Shhh." Remus soothed him rocking him in his arms as Sirius did his best not to break down again, "they all get justice in the end you know. Someone down the line will get whoever did it. Either by killing them or the dementors will. Either way no one gets away forever."

"That's better, that was a better attempt." Sirius chuckled as he rested his head on Remus' shoulder again. "Don't ever die on me Moony…"

"Death always comes Sirius, I can't tell you I'll never die on you, because I don't know when my time is. I can't make you a promise I can't keep." He looked down at Sirius as he looked up at him, "I can promise to keep myself as safe as I can. But I can't promise I won't get killed, hell I could choke on something and die!"

"AHHH!" Sirius covered his mouth, "Don't say such things! I don't want to hear it!" Sirius hissed glaring at him, "Though if you choke on my-"

"I'm stopping that conversation right there," Remus chuckled as he ran his fingers through his lover's hair. "I'm just saying we never know how or when we'll die. But know I will do my best to stay beside you always, as long as you'll promise to do the same."

"Always!" Sirius smiled up at him, "No death eater is gonna kill me! Na uh no sir." Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius took on a child like attitude. "Couldn't be serious for once in your life?" Remus asked shaking his head. "I am always Sirius."

"Your parents were both clever and terrible for naming you that."

"I told them that all the time, Dad always laughed. 'But it's a good family name!' 'Yea well do you realize how many jokes you set me up for?' 'That was kinda the point.'" Sirius gave a heavy sigh, "Just another funeral to go to I suppose…"

The happy tone that they had somehow managed to create died as it faded back into sorrow, "At least it was quick." Remus whispered, "He was lucky, some people get captured, tortured and…well then killed." Sirius rolled his eyes, "back to the 'not really helping bit, Moon."

"Sorry…just they were talking on the radio before you came home about a couple who they'd just found dead…it was very easy to tell they were tortured and just…" Remus shivered. Sirius sighed heavily as he got up, "again you're not good at cheering up, and you used to be what happened."

"The war," Remus chuckled as he took Sirius' hand and got up. "I think we should head to bed, get comfortable and go to sleep then tomorrow we just lay in bed. Because you have the day off tomorrow."

Sirius grinned as he headed towards bed, nothing sounded better than curling up in his covers with his lover, nothing made him feel more alive than being beside him. "I feel pretty bad for saying I get to enjoy sleeping with you."

"Why?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because…Darren had a fiancé, she'll be sleeping alone…" Sirius' tone was bitter as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Poor girl…" Remus sighed, "Now who's depressing?"

A week passed by, Sirius, Remus, James and Lily all sat in the pews of the funeral for Darren. Though Lily didn't know him well she came beside James. As the three marauders knew him well, his fiancé gave eulogy, as best she could through her tears.

Sirius was a pole bearer as they carried the casket towards his plot for him to be buried. Only when he was lowered in the ground did it really sink it. Just another causality of war, someone he knew. A face he could place now no longer walked this earth. He was among the angels now, finally at peace no longer in the war. They'd hear a few days later his fiancé would take her life to be with him.

War is dirty business, it takes the innocent and the ones who only seek to do good, to provide justice. It's never easy to take a life, even if you're full of hatred.

The scariest part for Sirius was something was up; he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was why he'd been sent out that night. Someone wanted anyone who knew dead. This made Sirius all the more nervous, "Remus."

Remus looked up at him from his breakfast towards the end of august. "Next full moon, will you stay in with me…" Remus looked at him oddly, "I just have a really bad feeling." Remus sighed; he guessed one full moon wouldn't hurt. "Alright I'll stay."

And it was decided the September moon Remus would stay in at the flat. It made Sirius feel safer knowing Remus would be right there.


	63. September Moon

***snickers* This along with a few other things has been planned since I started this WHOLE story...and it helped canon agreed with my plan *snickers evilly* I'm going to kill to birds with one stone starting this. So enjoy!**

**Also this is Remus point of view...Sirius' is tomorrow. Until this matter is resolved there is a change both Sirius and Remus will get their own chapters for each part...hopefully that doesn't bother you guys.**

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><p>It had been so long for Remus since he'd taken all of his Wolfsbane, feeling it course though his veins was a rather odd feeling, one he wasn't quite sure of at first. "Want me to stay home?" Sirius asked rubbing Remus' shoulders as for the second time Remus heaved up breakfast.<p>

"No, no I'm fine. Go to work, I'll be boring. Just go on." Remus looked up as he sat back away from the toilet and wiped his mouth with a damp rag. "Really, just feeling a little woozy, nothing wrong. It'll be fine, I'll lie down and Lari will be right there if anything happens." Remus gave him a rather assuring smile as Sirius leaned down and kissed his forehead, "if you say so."

"I do, now go on." Remus slowly took to his feet, holding the sink for support and smiled, "just a little weak from being sick, no worries. Go on Padfoot I'm fine." Sirius eyed him closely, "I'll have my mirror, call me if you need me."

"I will Sirius, now go on." Remus laughed pushing him. "I'll be fine you oaf now get on." Sirius chuckled as Remus pushed him, "yes yes mother I'm going!" The second the door was closed Remus heaved a great sigh; he had things he needed to do.

_Harris,_

_Won't be with the wolves tonight, Sirius wants me to stay home (no idea why, so don't ask.) No you can't join me either, so again don't ask. Make up an excuse for me to Laurence, I'm sure he won't he happy with me ditching but…eh what can you do? Sorry in advance_

_~Remus_

Remus sealed up the letter and handed it to Tenebris who eyed the letter with caution, "take this to Harris." The owl screeched in disapproval, "Please…its important Tenebris, it's nothing bad." The owl looked away, "If you don't take this letter I'll tell Sirius," the owl eyed him out of the corner of his eye no turning his head. "Oh yes, I'll definitely tell him and what will he have to say, hmm?" Tenebris gave a dissatisfied hoot as he snatched the letter quickly from Remus' hand and flew out the open window.

"When the birds we use to deliver our mail have more personality and smarts than some humans there is a ruddy problem." Remus muttered as he scratched Lari behind the ears, "then again when with magic is anything normal?" Lari's tail wagged as Remus reached the perfect spot behind her ears.

It didn't take but half an hour for Tenebris to fly back inside of the window carrying a letter, he reached for it as the owl gave him a dirty look. "Don't give me that look; you might not have to go back out. I don't know why you don't like him." Though the answer was rather simple, Sirius always talked to his pets. And Remus was very sure Sirius had confided in the bird about how bad his feelings had been hurt, he'd done it many times in the past so what would stop him from doing it now? Gently ripping open the letter he gave the owl one last look before looking back at the words.

_Remus,_

_What the hell mate! Laurence is going to have my ass! You need to be down there tonight, seriously this is bullshit! Tell your 'dog' to back off. Simple as that, he doesn't understand the trouble you'll be in. And I have a feeling you won't either. This is messed up Remus; seriously…you need to be down here tonight. _

_Harris_

Remus eyed the letter, was that a threat? Was a wolf lower than him actually threatening him? Granted Laurence wasn't lower in rank other than by wolf type. The wolf that had bit Laurence had been a rank three wolf, or in wolf pack terms would be a Gamma, the wolf he was bitten by had been a hunter in said werewolf's pack. But due to Laurence being a lone wolf until he'd turned his mate when he created his own pack he became alpha and no one since had challenged him.

Laurence in his pack was alpha and Remus was a gamma, and in a pack you always did what you were told. "He can go fuck himself," Remus grumbled to no one in particular as he reached for another piece of parchment.

_Harris,_

_If that's a threat it's a rather ridiculous one, Mary last month didn't show up! How am I any different, and he's not a 'dog'. He's my boyfriend, and if you don't get it through your thick head and stop treating him as such me and you will fight. And that my friend is a promise not a threat. So don't cross me Harris, or you'll find out just what kind of wolf I really am._

_~Remus Lupin_

Remus folded the note and sent the owl off, who seemed rather pleased that the note he had brought back had angered Remus. "Course he flies off all peachy…thinks he's gonna get rid of Harris…then again the bastard acts like that both Sirius and Tenebris might get their wish." Remus growled as he stormed off, he needed a nap.

With his temper bubbling already, plus the itch and pull of full moon he was rather aggravated, but this 'threat' had succeeded in infuriating him. He drummed his fingers on his desk awaiting the loyal birds return. When he returned the owl held yet another letter, Remus sighed as the owl gently dropped it in his lap before perching on his arm. "On good terms then?" Remus chuckled as he rubbed the owl's feathered belly causing the owl to hoot in happiness. He gently opened the letter as he best he could with a fifteen pound owl on his arm.

_Remus,_

_Look…I'm sorry but…the pack doesn't need this. We need the whole pack here tonight. Laurence has a bad feeling and he wants us all there. What is he gonna do when he realizes you won't be there, hmm? He'll skin me alive because who invited you in? Who makes sure you're there every moon? Me! So it's my head that will roll not yours' and don't give me this "Mary" bullshit! You know why she wasn't there and she had permission! So get your ass down here!_

_Harris_

Remus glared at the letter, before snorting. Harris didn't scare him and if Harris one of Laurence's best pack members couldn't do what a good friend would do then he'd just have to deal with the punishment.

_Harris,_

_I won't be there, tell him I'm sick. Since I was earlier. Plus I've got Wolfsbane and you know how much he hates it. So…I'm sorry I'm staying home, have fun with the pack._

_~Remus_

_P.s. if you're going to be an asshole don't bother writing back._

He didn't write back, Tenebris came back without a letter and looked happier than an owl should. He seemed rather pleased with himself and he just couldn't wait to tell his master when he got home just how he had scared away the big back wolf at the door.

It was well after four when Remus had handled that situation and reached for another piece of parchment.

_Albus,_

_I'm sorry to report I will not be joining the werewolves tonight. I was sick earlier and I also drank all of the Wolfsbane. Thus the alpha would not be pleased if I showed up tonight. I'm gravely sorry for this, but hopefully, if nothing goes wrong I will be out there next month. To catch up on what I've missed. I'll send my reports later this week; I still have a few to review before I send them your way._

_~ Remus J. Lupin_

"Dumbledore, please. And once you're done if there is no return letter you're free. Just be back by morning, ok?" The owl gave him a pleased hoot before hopping off of his arm and taking flight. "I swear…looks like the owl post in London here today Lari." Remus chuckled as he rose from his desk and stretched, "I think steak is on the menu tonight. How about you?"

Lari's tail wagged a mile a minute as she followed after Remus, the dog was rather spoiled. Whatever her humans ate she tended to get bits of. But there was no reason to have a dog that didn't eat scraps, it was rather wasteful in Sirius' eyes and Remus was all the happier to agree with him.

Dinner was ready to go, with Sirius due home at any minute. Remus checked his watch, the sun would set rather soon and he'd hope to get dinner in before he had to forgo the transformation. "Come on Padfoot…get home dammit!"

"Padfoot!" Remus shouted into his mirror as he sat down at the table, suddenly Sirius' head popped into view, "What?"

"When will you be home…moon comes out soon." Remus grumbled, Sirius looked rather run ragged so he didn't give him the full angry speech he'd practiced in his head. "Oh shit…Moony I'm sorry! Um…twenty minutes at most? I'll do my best to sneak out…not used to you being home remember. I'll be there as soon as I can. I promise."

Remus nodded, "You better, because I already ate…and if I turn into a wolf you're getting no dinner."

"If it's gone I'll deserve it," Sirius chuckled. "Shit boss talk to you later, love you!"

"Love you too."

Sirius' face faded as Remus leaned back in his chair. He hated stress just before full moon; it always made transforming that much more painful. Anything that went on in his human brain when it tried to transform into a wolf's it always made him confused and aggravated at first.

At least with Wolfsbane he would be in control and relaxed, so once he transformed he'd lie down on the floor and wait for Sirius' return home. He could control the wolf inside long enough for Sirius to swap forms and both Lari and Sirius would come and join him in a game of wolf tag or something.

Thirty minutes passed by and finally the door handle turned "Finally! About tim-" Remus froze his mind blanked as a man in black robes walked towards him, hidden by a mask. Where was his wand? In sheer panic he was frozen. Lari flew form the bedroom her dark brown hide was merely a blur in Remus' vision as she launched herself onto the attacker.

But she was quickly thrown aside by the wave of the attacker's wand. "Remus Lupin," the voice chuckled. "Ready for a little ride?"

It was at that moment Remus' mind snapped back into focus as he made a dash for his bedroom, that's where his wand was but he was grabbed around the back and forced down on the ground. He struggled, kicking and twisting trying to get away. He could smell something that smelled rather funny as he struggled; his mind couldn't figure it out until the white cloth went over his mouth and face. "Night night little wolfie." A woman giggled from behind…he knew that voice. Fuck…

His eyes grew heavy as everything around him went black, his body grew heavy. 'Dammit Sirius,' was his last thought as his world went black.


	64. September Moon 2

**This chapter is VERY late...it's already Saturday my time. I'm SOOO SO Sorry it's so late! I feel utterly terrible, but today was a crazy day and I only just had time to write. Also this will be my chapter for both yesterday and today. Since I will be away and won't be home till Sunday, though depending upon when I come back it may be sunday night or monday when you get another chapter. And I'm rather enjoying writing all of this SOO hopefully they will be good chapters. I hope you guys enjoy. Have a great weekend you guys! ENJOY THE START OF YOUR SUMMERS (Since I beleive everyone is finally out of school...if not...err..enjoy the weekend XD)**

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><p>Chapter 64 - September Moon (Sirius)<p>

When the door shut behind Sirius he sighed, he wasn't sure if he really wanted to leave him alone. What if he couldn't get away during the day and Remus really needed him? This should have been a sign to stay home, Sirius even looked back at the door before he descended down the stairs, "Nah…it's Moony all will be fine!"

Throwing himself on to his motorcycle Sirius revved up the engine and raced down the busy London streets. He really didn't have a need to go racing down the road he could have either used the floo powder or apperation but nothing felt better in the early morning than a ride on his motorcycle.

After parking his bike in a Ministry Alley he hoped inside a secret telephone box, dialed the numbers to be dropped down much like an elevator onto the floor of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

"PADFOOT!" James shouted from behind him, Sirius didn't even get a chance to turn around before James grabbed him roughly by the jacket and sterred him down another direction. "Oi! Potter be careful dammit what's amatter with you!"

"Crouch is looking for you…no idea why, but he stopped me on my way in thinking I was with you. I don't even want to KNOW what you've done bu-"

"I didn't do anything!" Sirius searched his friend, "did he look that mad?"

"Rather furious, you best get inside our office and stay there…hopefully he gets bored."

But Crouch Sr. didn't get bored, Sirius hadn't even been sitting down a hour before the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcment strolled in their small office. "BLACK! Where the bloody hell have you been!"

"Um…working?"

"Didn't Mr. Potter explain to you I was looking for you?" James quickly slinking down in his chair. "That he did, but I didn't think it was more important than catching death eaters sir. Or did you want me to stop doing my job?" Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, Orion had warned Sirius about the grudge Crouch had against him, and that Crouch was a man to take it out on him. And even after Orion's death Crouch continued to bully Sirius. It probably didn't help that he'd bullied his son in school.

The man had always been jealous of Sirius' undying love for his father, enough though Orion was much like Crouch in the habit of working all the time and drinking when he wasn't. And it wasn't a hard thing to find that Barty hated his father with a passion.

"I want you in my office right now, we have to speak about a-" Crouch grinned, Sirius felt like a million spiders were crawling all over him as the man smiled. "-a little incident of yours a year ago…it seems someone merely sweeped it under the rug. And I felt it must be handled accordingly."

Sirius grinded his teeth as he stood up, "Yes sir, I'll be back in a bit Prongs. Cover for me."

"Aye Aye captain."

Sirius was soon in Crouch's large office, decorated much like his father's old office, decorated in dark woods and slivers and greens. Sirius nearly gagged with the smell of cigar smoke that lingered in the air.

"Now your case worker, Miles, apparently he sort of just…over looked the fact you killed a man on the battlefield," Crouch muttered as he looked through Sirius' file. "You understand it was against the law yes?"

"I do, but I was defending a man in my company."

"Says here the man you killed taunted you on the field?"

"Many of them do sir, and did at that time."

"But this time was different was it not?"

"If your telling me I killed him merely because he talked bad about my late brother, I cannot deny the fact that it made the curse a little easier to say. And if that's what I'm in trouble for I'll have you know, the man I happened to be saving was a rather injured James Potter. And if I may so add, his father was the one who pointed it out. And I highly doubt you of all people want to look bad going against the late Harold Potter."

Crouch tightened his jaw as he looked Sirius over, Sirius was leaned back in his chair hands folded together, his eyes daring the man to make another move against his character. "Doesn't matter who or why you did it Black, it merely matters that-"

"That I killed a man who was trying to kill someone who fights against them. I think it matters a lot, you want to be Minister yes?" Sirius took to his feet, if Crouch wanted to play dirty he could definitely play dirty, it's how the Black family worked. They either got what they wanted or they blackmailed you, it was often joked about that the term blackmailed was coined from the family's actions.

"That is neither here nor there-"

"Ahh but that's where you wrong. I know a sweet young girl in the daily prophet, who's dying to get rather large in her field. Skeeter, do you know her?"

Crouch paled, "I do. I've heard the things she writes about."

"Yes well…imagine if I fed her the story of how you sacked a hero defending his fellow man against a death eater. I highly doubt you'd get your votes. There isn't a wizard alive who would want you sacking someone who's defending someone. Esspically someone as well liked as James Potter, now…I wouldn't want to take on that fight. Not when Bagnold easily could win the vote. When are the elections again, I am terrible with dates."

Crouch glared at him, "Are you threating me Mr. Black, because if you are-"

"You'll what?" Sirius turned to face him, "sack me? I highly doubt you'll do that. When you were at my hearing, in front of my own father as well as Harold you told them both that this matter was handled. And now, now that it's become a issue-"

"You killed a man in COLD blood because of the dirt he spoke about your brother!"

"MY BROTHER HAD JUST DIED YOU COLD HEARTED BASTARD" Sirius snapped his hands shook as he glared at him, "And he was trying to kill James Potter, right there in front of me! Do you think do you honestly THINK any man would have just simply disarmed him, you're a bloody fool then and you need to be out fighting those battles then. Because a simple 'disarm' doesn't help when you have four wizards against you. If you kill just one of those cold hearted bastards the rest take you seriously! That's what it takes sometimes, and I will NOT feel sorry for killing him."

Crouch starred at him, his hands were folded on his desk as he gave Sirius a cold stare, "One day Black…there will be no one to save you, no dirty trick you can do. And when that happens I will get you, and I will lock you up in a cell where no one will EVER be able to hear your mouth again. Because I swear!"

Sirius was already walking towards the door, his blood pounding in his ears as he stormed forward. "You swear what? To get even?" Sirius laughed loudly as he opened the door, "good day to you sir, I shall head back to my office now." And with that Sirius shut the door, "bloody bastard."

"You should behave yourself Mr. Black," Crouch's secretary, Mary, chuckled. "He's got it in for you, I don't think he likes you that much."

"Ahhh Mary, he's just giving me a hard time. Espically since his son turns him down every chance the boy gets to become a auror or something."

"Don't blame him," the woman continued to write something down. "I'd hate to work out in this war, nasty business."

"Tis indeed Mary, tis indeed…well see you next time the old bastard drags me down here."

"See you next week."

"YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL!" Sirius called as he headed back towards his office.

The rest of the day passed on slowly, paper work and meetings. And whatever else someone could throw at them, a few new training courses. A group meeting about new information they had recived and where the hide outs of current known death eaters were. And who they suspected was a unknown member.

It was well after five when Sirius answered Remus, it had been quick and brief but knowing all was well back at home made him feel rather good. They both had planned every sort of 'incident' that could happen tonight if he got home late so everything was under control, or so he thought.

When Sirius' keys hit the doorknob he felt the need to look behind his shoulder, he felt like something was off. But once he realized no one was behind him he shrugged, it was probably just Crouch's threat starting to settle in his brain. Yea that was it the man was now watching him in the shadows, the idea caused Sirius to chuckle to himself.

Opening the door his heart froze, there was no noise and all of the lights were off. His heart hammered in his chest as he slowly shut the door behind him, and pulling out his wand. There was no sign of a struggle, but there was no Remus, no wolf. No noise what so ever…

"Rem…I'm home," he called out, and the grip on his heart tightened as no answer came back to him. "Remus!" He called looking around the dark room, the curtains were drawn shut leaving only his instincts to guide him until he reached a lamp on the side table. The room flooded with light as it clicked to life, nothing seemed out of place. He whistled twice no Remus or Lari, something was wrong.

He walked through the flat lighting every light he could until the whole flat was filled with light. Nothing was out of place, anywhere. Sirius called out to Remus with each room he explored, his heart was racing in his chest. It was after crossing the threshold from his bedroom to the living room did he finally catch the smell.

The smell that gave away it all, just leaning down to smell the area made his eyes heavy. Someone had been in here and kidnapped Remus. His heart dropped into his stomach as panic rushed over him.

If Remus was kidnapped, what exactly could he do? Run in and save him of course, but he wasn't sure where to start. And he was a wolf now! The only thing that soothed Sirius was he knew that Remus had taken all of his Wolfsbane so at least he was sound of mind. But still! He could be anywhere, panic raced through his mind.

He checked the cellar no Remus or wolf, the moon was now high in the sky, he could be anywhere!

"James!" Sirius shouted in the mirror.

His panic musted have show because the second James read his face James' face grew worried and fearful. "Padfoot what's wrong?"

"It's Remus," He whispered, James grew pale. "He's been kidnapped."


	65. Waiting

**Contiuning right after then end of sixty four.**

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><p>James starred at Sirius through the mirror; one could only guess his real thoughts at the moment. It took Harry's cries from behind him to jar him from his inner mind. Sirius could hear Lily start to hum to him and eventually the little baby became quiet and James turned his attention back to Sirius, "Kidnapped? Padfoot that's a big accusation."<p>

"But he's not here! He promised he'd be here!" Sirius let himself fall onto the couch and rub his temples. "Well Padfoot maybe the wolves came and got him, look we don't know their laws. It may be against the pack laws for him to NOT be there. You asked a lot of him for him to stay tonight; you should have expected him not to be there."

"He promised me Prongs! Remus does not simply break his word."

"I know this, remember I know Moony too. Besides what makes you say kidnapped anyway?"

"There was this smell in a part of the living room…nearly made me pass out! It wasn't there when I left."

James gave a heavy sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Could have been them subduing him, Remus is not a weak person. It probably took that to get him out of the flat. Just…do your daily thing, go to bed and everything will be fine. If he's not back by the time you get home from work then we'll worry."

Sirius starred at him through the mirror, it must have been quite a long time he starred, "Pads, Remus will be fine. And he took his Wolfsbane correct?" Sirius nodded, "Then what do you have to worry about? He won't hurt anyone he's in control. He is safe, no one's hurting him. Besides if he WAS kidnapped whoever has him would be rather stupid to mess with a werewolf. They might even set him loose."

"Or kill him," Sirius grumbled darkly, "and what if they do! It's not like any muggles took him. It was a wizard! And…you know how most are…"

"Sirius you're going to make yourself sick. Calm down, he is fine. He's probably out in the woods somewhere running with his pack. Do try and get some sleep, everything will be fine." Sirius nodded, though deep in his gut he felt it was far from fine.

When James was long gone from the mirror and Sirius had forced himself to eat something and the night had grown quiet and still. He laid there on the couch, unable to drag himself to his bed. What if Remus needed him, if he showed up and needed him to be awake?

He wished he had just let Remus go out tonight, be with other wolves. He'd be safe now, or at least Sirius would know who he was with. Now all he could do was guess, it wasn't like he could find them and ask. But if Remus wasn't home at lunch time, Sirius would take his whole lunch break to question the one wolf he knew would know where he would be.

Sirius jerked up as there was a knock on the door, after tripping several times in his hast to get to the door he flew it open nearly knocking it from its hinges to look down at a woman. He searched her over a few times and realized she was a tenant a few floors down. She was maybe a hair over five feet, her hair was graying. She looked in her mid forties and at her side was Lari.

"I believe this is your dog, she was wandering around on the floor I live on. My children found her lying in a corner crying. They told me they'd seen you with her."

Sirius starred down at her, she had healed cuts all over her, where it looked like she'd put up a good fight. Her eyes were heavy and tired. "Lari," he whispered as he kneeled down, the dog walked towards him and collapsed in his arms. "I healed her best I could; she was covered in all sorts of cuts. I've heard she was down at the front door barking her head off, like she was having some sort of fit. How she got up where I was I don't know."

Sirius held the weak animal in his arms as he looked up at the woman, "Thank you…I don't know how I can repay you…"

"I couldn't let her die; it would have broken my children's hearts watching her suffer as she was. And despite all her pain she was such a sweet girl. Didn't even growl as my husband carried her, she was so tired. May I ask what happened?"

"I don't know" Sirius whispered, Lari had fallen asleep in his arms. "I was at work when I came home she wasn't here nor was my flat mate…he seems to be missing." The woman gasped and Sirius felt like ice was poured into his veins, "do you think he was-"

"I'm not sure yet, he might have just popped out and not come back…but…" he looked Lari over. "The more I look at it and now with Lari…I think I can rule out that idea. And I might want to look more into-"

"Oh dear that's horrible!" The woman whimpered, "To think they were in our complex! Kidnapping someone!" She cleared her throat, "then again one never knows, I hope for your friend's sake it's not the case." Sirius was numb as he nodded, "I must get back to my room, and my kids will wonder where I've gone." She moved quickly from his door and down the hall.

Once Sirius managed to have enough strength to shut the door he pulled the weak, sleeping dog tightly to him and sobbed into her fur. This couldn't be happening! Remus couldn't be gone, he just couldn't. He needed to be safe! And they had hurt Lari, Remus even before his Wolfsbane would have never hurt another dog. They'd come across dogs many times on their late night journeys around Hogwarts and he'd never hurt a single one.

This was the work of dark wizards; Sirius finally came to the conclusion as he looked Lari over. It was well past midnight when her eyes opened again. Sirius had her laid out on the bed and was cleaning what wounds wouldn't heal or refused to close. She was watching him, her tail slowly wagging. "I'm so sorry" Sirius would whisper over and over. "You're such a good girl."

Eventually after she was all clean and bandaged up Sirius laid down beside her, holding her tightly against him. He didn't know what to do as he laid there listening to her soft breathing as she fell back asleep. Sirius couldn't sleep a wink as he laid there on the bed. His mind wouldn't leave him alone about Remus. Fear was his only companion tonight.

His alarm went off but he was already awake and moving when it did. He'd had breakfast showered and was dressed before the sun even peaked its head over the horizon. He'd done all of the dishes in his spare time, even watched the morning Muggle news.

He'd listened for the Ministry's news, no sight of any werewolves. Those who had been missing yesterday were still missing, with a few new names added to the list.

Today was going to be a long hard day; Remus normally was back in the flat by now. He'd be in bed sleeping off the moon. Even Lari, who was still very weak noticed Remus' disappearance, but seemed sadder about it, like it was all her fault.

"I'll be back later Lari, you just take it easy." Sirius rubbed between her ears, "I'll bring him home…don't worry." He had whispered it more to himself than her but she seemed like the words had soothed her. With that he was out the door.

"Rem turn up yet?" James asked as he flipped through the prophet as he leaned back in his office chair. "No," Sirius muttered as he flipped through a report, "I'm hoping they were just out far last night…even though he should have been home." James let out a frustrated sigh as he put his paper down to stare at Sirius. "He is fine, Sirius relax, stop sounding like a girl." James picked the paper up and continued to read.

The rest of the day dragged on, they had a small shift today so after two both James and Sirius were back home where they belonged, "mirror me, if he doesn't turn up after five." James had told him rather nervously when they both had walked to the flat and James had seen the state of Lari. "And keep an eye out…I don't like the look of that."

And that had only made Sirius worse; he shouldn't be alone in the flat. He should have left and went somewhere, but he couldn't leave. He couldn't just walk out of the flat, what if Remus showed up. What if-

He was stopped when a grey owl hooted from the window; Tenebris squawked in aggravation and opened his wings as if to warn the bird to stay far away. He looked very angry at the sight of the other bird. Tenebris was always a friendly bird, never harsh to a single owl. Only to owls whose masters he did not like.

Sirius opened the window and the owl flew around looking for something and only when he couldn't find it did he return to the window, which Sirius had closed, pinning him inside. "Your not leaving, sorry little fella." Sirius grumbled as he pried the letter away from he angry owl that squawked and hooted as he tried to fight his way away from Sirius. And only when the letter had been removed from the owl did he let go. When the grey owl went to attack Sirius for the letter back, Tenebris flew from his perch and in a blur of black pinned the much smaller owl underneath him.

Straightening his shirt Sirius patted Tenebris, no animal was more loyal to their wizard than an owl, or at least in all cases Sirius had ever seen. "Thank you Tenebris, bloody beast scratched the shit out of my arm." Sirius' forearm was bleeding from a scratch from the owl's talons but he didn't care as he tore the letter open,

_Remus,_

_Thank you for pissing off Laurence yesterday. We all paid dearly so you could stay with your dog. I hope it was a rather quiet, lovely evening. Because you're in for it next moon. And yes dearest friend that is a promise not a bloody threat! You best come see me the second you get this, maybe I can talk him out of it. But for now, you best be on your best behavior before your lower than Brett. _

_~Harris_

_P.S. Leave the dog at home._

Dog? Who was the dog? Sirius looked back at Lari; she'd never once been out with Remus. It dawned quickly on him who they meant. They were talking about Sirius, and how the hell did they know he was a dog! It didn't much matter, all it mattered was they were threatening his Moony. And he would not stand it that also meant that they either knew where he was. And he was in danger or he had NOT gone out with the wolves…and someone had kidnapped him.

Sirius grabbed his jacket; he could already hear the thunder in the distance. He was going to give Harris a piece of his mind that was after he got information out of him. "Tenebris let the owl go." The owl gave an odd hoot as Sirius opened the window. Once it was opened the black eagle owl let the grey owl go and it shot out of the window with a frantic screech.

Once the owl was gone and Sirius was out the door, a tracker spell leading the way. He'd find Harris alright, and show him just what kind of dog he was.


	66. Enter Panic

**It has come to my attention that I no longer can post every day. Summer is just crazy for me so far. I just have SO much to do, plus my muse is slowly fading away. BUT that does not mean this fanfiction will turn into a whenever I get a chapter written. No that will never happen as long as I can help it. It's just taking me much longer to write chapters so for now, were going to test run posting three days a week. Meaning Monday, Wenesday and Friday I really REALLY didn't want to have to do this guys but I would rather you guys not get updated everyday then what I'm writing isn't exactly what I wanted. **

**I hope this doesn't upset any of you guys and I am REALLY sorry to have to do this, maybe if I either get way ahead of myself or my muse starts to kick in more or my scheudle starts to look more flexable we can go back to everyday. But for now, during the summer it'll be Monday, Wenesday, and Friday posts.**

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><p>It took the spell hours to travel all the way to the slums of London; Sirius really should have guessed this is where it would lead him to. But he had hoped Remus wasn't running around with a bunch of sewer rats. Anyone who lived down in the slums wasn't someone anyone wanted to be around. This particular slum was called The Thorns, these were wizards who either did dark magic or were dark beings. Either way one did not walk into the Thorns unarmed.<p>

"Why if it isn't Sirius Black," Someone chuckled from behind him. Sirius let out a low growl and continued walking his hands in his pocket and his wand hand wrapped tightly around his wand. "Oi! Boy someone is talking to you didn't your father teach you manners…well when he was sober that is!" The voice laughed. Sirius continued walking; he had no time to hex someone taunting him.

It took him walking three blocks inside of The Thorns to get away from the man who had been taunting him. And once the streets were silent again Sirius felt just a tad safer. Each house he walked by was dark and dingy. The place didn't look like it had ever seen better days, or if it had it had been the year all of these places had been built.

When he walked by people would slink away and hide. Sirius was well known in the Thorns; then again one was not born to Orion and Walburga Black and not known. Everyone who carried a wand knew the Black Family or so it had seemed to Sirius almost all of his life.

When the tracer froze and pulsed in front of a dark oak door, Sirius knew he was on the right trail. He stepped inside of the complex and watched as the tracer raced up three fights of stairs. Sirius followed it, ignoring the smells and sounds of the place. There were scratches along the walks from what seemed like claws and Sirius could only imagine who or what had put them there.

The Thorns was home to many beings; Werewolves, Vampires were just some of the inhabitants that slinked to the shadows. It was a place the Ministry almost had no control of, so whatever happened in the Thorns stayed in the Thorns. And with this knowledge Sirius always stayed on his guard. How Remus walked down here month after month he'd never know, because no place gave him the creeps more than the Thorns.

He stopped where the tracer blinked and throbbed in front of the door marked thirteen, "Of course it's thirteen," he muttered. Thirteen was one of the most unlucky numbers even in the wizarding world, it also was one number Sirius did not like. He knocked three times, waiting for someone to open the door.

After a few minutes the door creaked open, a chain was across the door on the other side. Sirius could hear Harris, and soon his face appeared. "What are you doing here?" Harris growled, his hand clenching the door on his side. "I've come here to talk about last night, Remus wasn't home."

"Aww did he run away from his pet?" Harris teased before laughing, "Maybe he found himself a real wolf." Sirius gave the door a hard shove, "Let me in Harris, before I blast the chain free. Remus isn't home and I think he's been kidnapped so before I put all my frustration into making a dent in your face I suggest you work with me."

"Can't do that dog breath, you see I warned Remus something would happen to him. Of course I hadn't expected him to get kidnapped BUT if he had been out with the pack he'd-"

Sirius didn't let him finish as he shoved the door in due to weak hinges and Sirius' temper affecting his magical abilities the door flew off as Sirius stormed inside. "NOW LOOK HERE!" Sirius snapped as the door magically found its way back to its hinges, leaving a rather startled Harris on the ground. "Your either going to talk to me with respect OR your going to lose your teeth. Either way I don't particularly care."

Harris stared at him jaw to the floor, "HOW DARE YOU!" Harris snapped, "I just wake up this afternoon from transformation to your absurd knocking! Asking ME where YOUR boyfriend is because he was not with me last night because YOU ordered him to stay home! Now tell me Mr. Black how the fuck that's even fair! I have done nothing."

"You were threatening him!" Sirius waved the letter in front of Harris' face, "it's a logical assumption, besides I wouldn't put it past your pack to kidnap him."

"FOR WHAT?" Harris shouted, "Why the bloody hell would we do that? I mean really if we wanted Remus around we would have drug him out of your flat and left you a damn note for crying out loud. We may be wolves but we're neither stupid nor heartless. If we wanted to kidnap Remus we'd have done it months ago when we found out he was sleeping around with a man!"

Sirius starred at him for a few moments, he chewed over the information before glaring at him, "Then if you and your pack are innocent help me find him."

"No."

"No, why not?"

"Because Black, this is none of my concern. And Remus is strong anyway he'll find his way back home. Those death eaters have enough wolves on their side there is no need for Remus." Harris sat down on a rather beaten up chair and ran his hands through his hair. "Look…if they did kidnap him he'll get out. He's a werewolf. Give it a month and they won't be able to control him he'll-"

"No I won't wait! If you think I'm going to sit around and wait for him let alone wait for the next full moon and let him KILL people, you're fucking crazy. He's not like the rest of you wolves, he's never hurt a human and I won't let him start now." Sirius turned on his heel; this had been a waste of time.

"If you do find him, let me know…I wanna know if he's ok." Harris added, more like an after thought as Sirius reached for the doorknob. He held it tight in his hands, "if you really wanted to know you'd help me Harris, but sure. I'll let you know."

And Sirius was back out on the streets and leaving the Thorns as quickly as he good. Maybe Remus would be home by now; maybe he wouldn't even have to worry anymore. But he knew better than to think that, he'd worked with many cases where people were kidnapped…and they never came home. Or if they did they were either never the same or they only returned home to be buried in the ground. Though typically they never came home at all.

Upon entering the complex and walking up to his floor he noticed James standing there, Lily was beside him with baby Harry. "We're here to help Pads we've let Dumbledore know. He's doing all he can. Lily's going to stay here and keep an eye out for Rem…while you and I go do some digging." James smiled, "We'll find him"

Sirius instantly felt better, there was never a time the marauders couldn't do something if they all sat down and did it together, and he just hoped it was before it was too late.

Meanwhile somewhere far into the English countryside, Remus woke with a throbbing headache. His wrists were tied behind his back and were resting against the back of a chair. He couldn't see in the dark room and he had a gag between his teeth.

He ached all over but he wasn't sure what from. He could remember being a wolf pacing the cold floor, it had reminded him so much of the cellar back home, is that were he was? Was this a weird prank for Sirius…or was it a fetish. Remus shivered he hoped it was an odd prank. He didn't like the idea of being gagged.

"Well well."

The voice that called out from the corner shattered all ideas of this being a kinky idea of Sirius'. His blood ran cold as he looked up; starring back at him was Bellatrix Lestrange, with a very twisted smile on her face. "It seems our little wolf here has finally woken up," she giggled as she walked towards him.

"Be careful Bella," a voice called "he could still turn you; the sun has just only risen."

Remus growled, of course it was pureblood nonsense that gave werewolves such a bad name. But with the gag in his mouth he couldn't give the man who spoke a piece of his mind. Instead he chose to squirm and try and loosen if not undo the ties that bound him into the hard metal chair.

"Easy now wolf," Bella whispered, her lips were against his ear, causing him to freeze. "We only want you for bait we don't plan to harm you." Remus glared at her, his golden gaze seemed to take her back as she stepped away. "At least that's the plan but one never knows what my cousin will do." She ran her fingers through her long black hair. It made Remus cringe how much she had in common with his lover.

"Come away, leave him be." Another voice called, "he needs to rest before we start…" there was a cold chuckle, "introducing ourselves." Remus didn't like what he was hearing, whatever was going to happen didn't sound all that fun nor gentle. In fact it sounded like very soon he was going to be in a hell of a lot of pain.


	67. Pain

**I am a terrible toture writer...maybe I'll be able to write it better later. Anyway enjoy for now.**

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><p>Remus jumped awake as he felt ice cold water pour over his head and rush down his nearly naked body. He looked around frantically in the dark; it took a few seconds for his eyes to readjust to the dark room. Almost instantly he started to shiver as the cold September air breathed through the stone walls. Hitting his now soaked skin causing the wind to feel like tiny needles all over his body.<p>

He looked up into the cold black eyes of Rabastan Lestrange. He had a wicked grin on his face that led all the way up to his eyes. If Remus would have been a smart man he might have shown a bit of fear. But there was no way Remus was going to give him exactly what he wanted. Instead Remus raised an eyebrow as a challenge, which caused him to be slapped across his face. "How dare you challenge me you filthy half breed!" Rabastan hissed as he rubbed his hand from the contact.

Remus could taste the blood in his mouth, he felt it ting the gag that still was in-between his teeth. How long had he been there? Couldn't have been more than a day because yesterday he had-. Remus' brain entered overdrive mode as he began to panic, these death eaters had seen him as a wolf. They now knew what he looked like as a wolf. Despite the panic inside of his mind it was well hidden behind his eyes. He kept his outer appearance as cold as the stones of the cellar walls.

His wrists throbbed painfully as he wiggled his wrists against the binds; despite the fact he was sure they were magically strengthened he still did his best to break free. As he wiggled, he ignored the hushed conversation going on between the five death eaters in the room. He took in every inch of the room before studying the five people in front of him. Dressed in normal robes without their masks, that was either a good or bad thing. Maybe they didn't plan on letting him out…or they planned on killing him.

Remus was sure hell was to come; he was sure however long he was held captured he would suffer. "How long have I been here," he groaned as he looked around the room again. His eyes fell on familiar faces, Bellatrix and what looked to be her husband. Sirius had shown him family pictures before, incase something like this was to happen. "And what do you want?"

"You've been here a day," Rodolphus grunted from his wife's side. "And why you're here isn't really important half breed, you're just stuck here."

"Am I to die here, because if I am I would prefer to be unbound."

"We haven't decided that yet actually," Bella giggled as she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. She looked like a school girl looking him over. Remus was sure she was into this sort of thing, tying people up… He shivered he didn't really want to think about Sirius' cousin's love life.

"You can be unbound after you've had your lesson." Bella giggled as she walked towards him twirling her wand much like he'd seen Sirius do a million times. "Lesson?"

Twenty four hours would pass by and Remus would quickly learn what a lesson was. First came the head dunking which wasn't rather bad due to Sirius always dunking Remus underwater when they swam in the black lake. So he had not only learned to hold his breath longer but to not be afraid of water. He'd have to remember to thank Sirius for all his childhood torture. Then after his head would be done with water and the water cleared from his ears they would play with him. Sending a few curcio's among other torture spells in his direction causing him to squirm as he was bound in the chair. And then after all of that the most painful part of it all they would take ground up silver, place it on a blush brush and dust it all over his arms and legs.

His arms and legs would burn and throb as the silver was softly dusted over his skin. It ached like nothing he had ever felt before. Despite how much he tried not to he would cry out in pain and tears would stream down his face. Where was someone to save him? Only after he would give in and he'd weep and beg would they stop, and they'd dump an ice cold bucket of water onto him. And start the process over again after a few minutes of calm went by.

He'd come to learn the man who would dust the silver on him, his name was Rosier, and he hoped hell was on the man's heels for how bad it hurt. Nothing hurt worse to a werewolf than silver. It was a pain like no other. And after only a day or so after full moon he was too weak to fight. All he could do was sit there.

When they all would leave he would become unbound and would fall to the floor in a tired and bleeding heap. All he wanted was to go home and hide. To be held by Sirius again and never ever leave. That's all he wanted was to go home.

Remus was a hard man to break, he did not kneel easily. But all it took was a simple swipe of the sliver for him to nearly loose his mind. Had it have been farther into the month it wouldn't have hurt near as bad. The wolf would be resting. Though it would hurt he would be able to tolerate it much better. He wouldn't cave so easily if at all. If he could muster the strength, but right now it was all he could do to keep a sane mind.

He'd went a whole twenty four hours without food, when the door opened again Remus panicked. Where they coming in to hurt him again?

But instead what walled in was a small house elf; Remus could smell the bread he carried. And whatever else was on the small try. 'Remember to eat like a normal human do not scarf it down that's what they will expect.' He told himself over and over as he slowly ate. All he really wanted to do was stuff it all in his mouth and go hide in a corner and wait.

Wait for help or death he wasn't sure. All he knew was his joints ached from the torture as well as the cold floor against his bones. All he wanted was to go home.

Once dinner or what he assumed was dinner was gone and the house elf left. Remus crawled into the corner farthest from the door. He kept his back to the wall as he watched the door; if someone came in he was going to see them first.

He laid there for hours watching the door, afraid the second he closed his eyes someone would come in. He couldn't hear much in the cellar he now was living in, but outside if he strained his hearing hard enough he could hear the owls hooting outside.

Only by the soft hoots of the owls did he rest, he let his mind wander off to Sirius. Was he looking for him? Did he even care he was gone? He shook his head when that question went to mind. Of course he cared and of course he was looking for him. He just hoped he found a way out before Sirius found him. Because he didn't know what would happen if Sirius was to find him and he would lose his temper.

Though…if he found him he hoped it was Rosier Sirius took his anger out on. The man had laughed as Remus struggled against the powder from before, he'd laughed when he'd begged and plead for them to stop. Yes…Remus slowly began to close his eyes. That is who Remus wanted Sirius to collide with.

Once into dreamland he was safe again, curled up in Sirius' arms. He was talking to him but about what he didn't know all he knew was the sound of his voice made him feel safe. Oh Sirius were are you?


	68. When Searching for Gold

**I actually really like this chapter :D**

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><p>Sirius paced the living room for what seemed like the eighth time. James was glancing through reports of missing people. And when they were sited last maybe to give some sort of idea as to where Remus could be. Harry was crying off into Sirius left and with his jaw clenched he did his best to ignore it. Lily was doing all she could to help while trying to tend with the fussy baby.<p>

"Hand him here Lily," Sirius did his best not to growl as he held out his hands. James and Lily met eyes for a second. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to hand the infant to Sirius when he was frustrated but she did it anyway. Sirius began to rock the small baby doing anything he could to get his mind off of what would be happening to Remus.

Sitting down on the sofa he rocked the small baby who eventually fell asleep. "It seems all he wanted was for his uncle to calm down." James chuckled as he looked up from another pile of useless reports. "We've got the order out looking, the aurors…though what is the ministry going to do about a stray werewolf. Did you talk to Harris?"

"Yes," Sirius growled as he remembered his encounter with the less than helpful creature. "And despite what I thought he wouldn't help. But apparently when word got around to his leader the pack was more than helpful to do more…darker digging for us. Maybe they'll find something." Sirius held Harry tight in his arms almost as if he was to let the baby go something bad might happen to him. Lily rubbed his shoulders, "It'll be alright Sirius. Remus is a strong person no death eater is going to break him."

"Even a werewolf can't fight a killing curse," Sirius muttered as he stood up and placed the baby in his pack and play.

The Potter's had taken up forge in the living room; Sirius was in no state to be left alone. His fear and temper would throw him in Azkaban if no one was able to stop him. Sirius wasn't a stable creature when he was scared or upset. He would just do what instinct told him, if it meant killing a man to bring justice in his mind that's what he'd do. Remus had always told him it'd be the end for him.

"So we're pretty covered all we can do is wait…" Lily leaned back on the couch and rubbed between her eyes. "Is there nothing we can do, a tracker or something?"

"If I was to use a tracker on Rem, the death eaters that captured him obviously would have a spell up that would keep it from getting within a hundred yards of his location, for one. For two it would set off alarms most likely and they might off him just with the hint of us coming after him. We'll have to hunt for him the muggle way I'm afraid. No offence Lils."

"None taken, nothing beats a good fashioned Muggle hunt. Besides it'd be good for the Auror's to have to hunt that way. I doubt you have any skills in that way if we can't find normal wizards in that fashion."

"Thanks for the insult honey, it does me wonders." James grumbled from his side of the sofa, "but clearly we have…someone to talk to." He looked to Sirius who was looking out the window at the waning moon. "Someone…you'd know Sirius?" James could see his eyebrow rise, as if Sirius was asking himself the same question.

Like a dog who was merely listening to its master speak to him. "I might…"

"And if you did, would you go to them?"

"I'd do anything to save Remus."

Sirius voice still rang in James' ears when he'd long left the flat. Lily hadn't spoken a word to him since. "What do you want me to do Lily? Let him stand there and do nothing? Do you know what he's like when he's-"

"I don't need to know what he's like Potter!" Lily snapped as she fed Harry for the night, "What I need to know is that you won't put ideas into his head to lean on the dark people his family knew! He's an Auror for heaven's sake. And you were telling me just yesterday Crouch is all but hunting for a reason to fire him. Neither Sirius nor Remus need that, it's their source of income! And besides, with a name like his does he need to be seen with people who are believed to be in ties with Voldemort?" Just the mention of the dark wizard's name made baby Harry look at her.

"Lily…" James sat down and sighed, "If I knew anyone I'd-"

"The hell you would! We have a family now James! You can't just gallivant off somewhere and throw caution to the wind or has our last two escapes not taught you anything! It cost you your parents! It's a petty-" Lily couldn't go on as her head hung and she started to sob.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans had been killed a month ago by death eaters, they hadn't taken too kindly to Lily and James' refusal but unlike most muggle deaths caused by death eaters it had been a much more painful death. Magically binding all doors and windows so no escape could be made they set ablaze the Evan's family cottage and lingered until it was burnt to the ground. Not a pity was given as they walked away laughing into the morning air when the fire brigand came.

James held her as she sobbed, Harry also began to wail and James took him from his wife's arms and rocked him, "Shhh Harry…"

Sirius hated Knockturn Alley; he'd been here a few times with his mother when he was a child. Though more so on his own with Regulus on dares to see how far the other would go into the dark place. "No good wizard ever goes down there." His father had once told him, and the Blacks were never good wizards. With his cloak pulled tightly around him to hide himself away from the wandering eyes. In the light of the waning moon Sirius traveled down the dark cobbled path.

He stopped in front of a pub named _Witches Wonders; _he swallowed a bit as he pushed inside the door. He could remember a few nights as a younger man sneaking in and watching the girls dance around on the tables only dressed in lace bras and underwear. He shook his head as he walked past it, he was here on business. He didn't need to be spotted here.

"Aye, and what is it you'd like?" The barmaid chuckled as she ran her fingers down his arm once he sat down at a table far in the corner. "Be it a lap dance or-"

"I'm here for someone." Sirius barked, his voice was like gavel as he looked down at the table. When he was younger he'd learned to change his voice, simply so he could sneak around. The witch seemed thrown off before she snorted, "And who is it?"

"The Pirate."

The woman gasped as she rushed away, Sirius gave an inward sigh. At least the name still meant something down here.

"_Now Sirius, if you ever need anything…anything down in the dark, you call on the Pirate. He'll set you up right."_

His father's words rang true normally so Sirius hoped when he needed them to be at their truest they would be.

"Someone call for me?" A gruff man about his sixties croaked from behind Sirius. "I don't work for free so you best have-"

Sirius threw our four gold gallons which glittered in the lamp light, "It seems a friend of mine has been kidnapped by a few death eaters…I need to find him."

"Many have been taken by death eaters lately," the man chuckled as he picked up the gold pieces examining them. "Need to be more specific lad, or I can't help ye."

Sirius' sliver eyes glared at the man before he gave a heavy sigh, "A wolf was taken and its best his knowledge does not fall into the wrong hands." Sirius tone was cold as stone, it was best not to mention who was asking.

"Ahhh so were after a wolf, young or old?"

"Young, maybe early twenties." Sirius grunted, "I don't know much about him. I just know he's rather an important person and I have tired my own resources and a smart man sent me to you."

"Ahhh, what smart man sends a boy down into the lion's den?" Pirate thumbed the coins again. "These are rather old coins…come from old money, lad?"

"No I was just given them when I went into cash a check was all."

The Pirate nodded, he should have exchanged the coins, Sirius knew it but he was despite it was a hint as to who he was, and if anyone figured it out the pirate would. Sirius watched him drum his fingers, "only young wolf I know is at the old Mill, out there in Surrey. The old saw mill, the ones the older families used when they built estates."

Sirius was standing, "Aye I wasn't done with you!" The Pirate grabbed him and jerked him down, "you best be warned Star, your wolf is guarded well. And don't stare at me like I'm a stupid fool. Only smart man who'd send someone down here is gone. So I know who sent you which makes it easy, plus your money…which was a stupid mistake. But I'll say nothin about it. It's a trap from what I hear." The Pirate leaned back and lit a pipe he pulled from within his coat pocket. "So don't be blind when you rush in."

Sirius stood up and walked out, Sirius had to hunt down this mill, if it was anyway to save Remus, and hell couldn't bar the way.

Throwing open the door to the flat he started James away and found himself flung back a few feet. "What the bloody hell Padfoot!" Harry started to cry causing Lily to wake up and rush to him. "Can you not walk in like a normal person?" James lifted his friend up off of his feet and dusted him off. "Well?"

"Where's the mill Prongs?"

"Out in Surrey…it's all I know. Mum and Dad used them ages ago when I was younger. Used them to replace a wall that I blew up when I was about seven. Why?"

"I need to find it, that's where Remus is."

"Well we've got no time to loose!" James grinned, "hear that Lily! I had a good plan."

"Yes yes," Lily grumbled, "now let's got a map and start to hunt. I'd like to be home before Halloween."


	69. Finding The Mill

**And another continuation, should only have a chapter or two left of this plot idea XD. **

Remus awoke to the crack of a whip and a slash across his face, he howled in pain as he starred wide eyed up at Bellatrix Lestrange. "GET UP!" She shouted causing Remus to scurry away from her and her whip's reach. He nursed his stinging face as the deranged woman proceeded forward. "I SAID GET UP!" She shrieked, another sting of the whip raced across his back. He bit down on his lip to keep himself from crying out as he scrambled to his feet.

"There much better," Bellatrix smiled. "Now, are we prepared for today's lesson?"

"I'd prefer to go back to sleep," Remus wiped the blood off of his face. "So if you don't mind I'll skip it today." WHACK, another angry red mark found his back, he hissed in pain before lunging on the woman. Who gave a terrified shriek, it was a stupid move but Remus was angry. And nothing was worse than an angry Remus.

He suffered quickly after his initial attack, finding himself flung roughly into the stone wall by Rodolphus. "How DARE you touch my wife!" He howled as Remus felt his head collide with the stone. He fought to stay conscious as the death eater grabbed him by what was once a shirt collar and shook him. "You fifthly half breed! Keep your paws off of my wife and I'll let you keep your life." He growled, teeth clenched as he glared into Remus' half lidded eyes. He shook him again, "do you hear me!" Remus nodded weakly as he was placed back on the ground. "Come Bella…let's get you cleaned up."

"He was an animal!" She cried, "Nearly tired to rip my throat out! I want to kill him!"

"We can't love, not yet."

The door closed and Remus let himself fall down to his knees, he nursed his injured head as he sat there. He couldn't let himself fall asleep. After a hit like that if he fell asleep death would greet him the next time he opened his eyes, he was sure of it. That or he'd never wake up, which neither option sounded good at the moment.

Instead he sat there and starred at the door, now he was hungry and needed something cold to place on the fastly growing goose egg on the back of his head. "Bloody hell," he grumbled. "I'm never back talking again…" he groaned.

When he looked up he was greeted to a house elf that mended his head and gave him a piece of stale bread and a glass of water. At least they really wanted him kept alive for now, he was lucky he was kept in good graces for now.

Once Remus' head felt normal and he no longer felt like his brains were coming out of the back of skull the elf left, leaving him alone again in his cell. There were some moments where he'd swear he'd hear other people around him crying out in pain. But when he'd ask the elf if there were others' he was told no. "Must be the ghosts of those who weren't meant to be saved." Remus thought, and then he'd wonder if he would soon join their pain filled cries.

It was a pity how much he missed the sunlight, and the fresh air; it was a terrible pity that he missed the simple things in life. The things he used to complain about like the rain and the heat. Of course he'd still be cold if he was free but he'd always be able to grab a jacket or better yet Sirius to keep him warm. He missed having to take Lari out to pee. Even if it was a burden when the dog wanted him when he was into a good book.

He even missed arguing with Sirius over the stupidest things, about where they would eat. Or who was on the bottom last, stupid little things that in Remus' mind right now would be one of the best things. But most of all he missed Sirius' smile, his laughter. Everything that for nearly the past ten years had been what made him feel safe. "Where are you?" he whimpered into his hands as he started to sob. "Please…come find me."

He straightened himself up as he heard footsteps a few moments later; he'd learned all the sounds of these hallowed halls for the last few days he'd been here. He was sure people were coming for his lessons. And he would have to be strong now; no one would see him crumble.

"FUCK IT!" he shouted while he threw the letter into the small fireplace, his patience was wearing very thing. Sirius watch the fire lick what seemed to the fourth letter of "I have no idea where it is Sirius, but good luck", he'd received in the past six hours. He paced the living room again glaring down at the carpet like it had severely wronged him.

"Padfoot come on…we got loads more people to ask! Don't give up," James muttered as he scribbled down on yet another note of "do you know where a placed called The Mill is?" Then once it was written send it off with an owl and wait for an answer. It should be a crime to wake up people at three in the morning but most of the people they were writing knew well that Remus was missing so they would be more than willing to help.

"I'm getting sick of it Prongs, he's out there somewhere DYING and I'm stuck here going 'do you know where this place is…were going off a hunch and ya see…' sounds fucking stupid!"

Sirius was storming around quite like a child who had been told no candy before dinner. James and Lily did their best to deal with him, simply because they understood. "Oh grow up Padfoot we're trying and if Remus can't appreciate that then he needs to find a new hero."

"PRONGS!"

"Teasing." James snickered as Lily shook her head at him as she ran a needle through her needlework. "Look we won't get a single thing done if all we do is fight and bicker, were trying Sirius. You're a dog go sniff him out if this isn't fast enough."

Lily's smart remark and her glance made Sirius sit down and cross his arms over his chest, "yes mother."

"Good, now James who's left?" Lily gave Sirius a small smile before glancing at her husband. "I just sent Molly and Arthur a letter, I doubt they'll know but then again Molly's a Prewett and much starter than her brothers. So she might know and Arthur is a Weasley and at one time tended to have a lot of money so…he might know."

"And were sure only old purebloods will know of this place," Lily asked rather offended. "Yes Lils, it seems it hasn't been in business probably since I was around seven…that's over ten years. Any newer families wouldn't even understand it. Dad used to say it was a secret place that more than just wood work went on. And if the death eaters are using it. Well…he was probably right."

"I should have asked him for a map…" Sirius muttered. "Come again?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "The man I went to see….when he told me I should have asked him for a map…though it'd be ironic to ask a pirate for a map don't you think?" Sirius shrugged, "I guess knowing where he was I sort of forgot my head…and I figured since Prongs knows everything-"

"Yea that's right blame me."

"-that he'd know where this place was. But apparently he doesn't and I have no idea who to turn to now."

"Could ask the McKinnon's, granted Marlene's parents might not know. But I know her grandparents are still alive." Lily reached for a piece of parchment, "I'll write her and ask."

"Why the hell didn't I think of Marlene?" Sirius looked towards James who shrugged, "Why didn't I?"

It would figure the person who would know the answer would take their good sweet time. It was nearly noon when the letter was answered.

_Sirius, _

_Since I know it had to be you who decided to write me at THREE IN THE BLOODY MORNING WHEN I HAVE WORK! I decided to let your letter sit, thinking it was a 'have you heard about Remus yet?' sort of letter. I do apologize I let it sit since I do know where The Mill is. And since it seems important (thank Lily for being discreet today as I'm sure my letter's are being read…which sucks since things can be rather personal you know. ) anyway the mill is up in Surrey, way down in a small village, which is probably abandoned by now since all it was, was workers in the mill. _

_It's called Wood Cutter's cottage, it's a small place. I can't write more because again letters are being read. It'll take some days to get there since no train I am aware of gets there. _

_When I went with my Granddad some years ago we had to take a day's train only to apperate the rest of the way there. Just think about Wood Cutter's Cottage when you get off the train before you apperate, your magic will do the rest. It seems the mill is- Nevermind I'll tell you more later…_

_Here I go again writing/ knowing more than I should. Write me the second you have him home safe! ALSO DO NOT BLOW THE BUILDING UP!_

_~Marlene_

"Why wouldn't you want to blow it up?" James asked from behind Sirius' shoulder. Sirius shrugged, "No idea…but Prongs we need to get a team…we got a train to catch."


	70. Wood Cutter's Cottage

**There should only be one more chapter of this little bit of plot :D Enjoy guys!**

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><p>The midnight train ride was nothing but miserable for Sirius, to him it seemed like the train tracks were ticking the seconds away.<p>

"Seven thousand two hundred," Sirius muttered to himself as he drummed away on his knee. He couldn't sit still, if it wasn't drumming his fingers it was twirling his wand or the numerous trips to the bathroom only to get to the door and come back.

"What are you talking about Padfoot?" James asked as he looked his nervous friend over, "And will you stop twitching, it's making me fucking nervous." James rubbed his brow as he ran over the plan yet again in his head.

"It's how many seconds we've been riding on this bloody train," Sirius sighed, "and I can't help it…this is just…too much."

"Never have kids then," Justin, one of their friends from the Auror's office had agreed to help on this recover mission. He was a forty two year old father of four and the war was rather rough on his mental state. "Because if this war rages on any longer…my kids will be fighting these purebloodist bastards. And that's the last thing I want for them."

"Well I'd like to think we will take Voldemort down in the next few months so by the time summer comes around I can take my son out to the park and not worry about a death eater trying to blow my brains out." James grumbled as he leaned back in his seat, Sirius was already slipping out of the compartment on yet another pee run. "Poor dog," James muttered.

Sirius walked down the corridor watching the world fly by thought the windows of the compartment passed, he fought back the memories of when they would ride the train to Hogwarts, the home of the marauders.

Sirius leaned against the bathroom door once it was closed and let a few tears slip down his cheeks, weither it was out of fear, happiness, or stress or heartache he wasn't sure. All he knew was one he had Remus home he was never EVER letting him out of his sight again. Remus would never again leave his side. His head thumped with a full blown headache coming he knew once this was all over he'd need one of his strongest headache relievers.

After twenty minutes in the bathroom he headed back to the compartment were everyone was settling in for the night. The team was small only consisting of five people; James, Sirius, Justin, Parker, and Angie. Three people from their own company in the Auror office, and three of their most trusted friends. Angie with her black hair like a curtain across her face was curled in the corner of the compartment her robe draped over her like a cover. Parker had his hat over his face stretched out with his feet crossed at the ankles. Justin was leaning against window already snoring.

James unlike the rest was wide awake and looking up at him from his window seat, "gonna settle in for the night or are you gonna get back up and pace?" James asked his eyebrow raised. "Not sure…just nervous and a little excited for tomorrow really, I'm ready to have Remus home."

"I bet if Lily went missing I'd go to hell and back to find her, but we'll get him Padfoot…he's my friend too ya know, I miss him just as much as you do."

"I know you do Prongs," Sirius sat down beside James and rested his head on his friend's shoulder, "I just…it's different for me you know. I've always protected Moony; it's been my job it seems since day one. And now…he just is gone." Sirius sighed, "I feel like I failed him."

"You didn't fail him," James rubbed his back and sighed, "Rem just…well he got himself in a tad bit of trouble. And you're about to bail him out like you always do. So it's like normal you haven't failed him." James smiled, "Calm down."

"Yea I guess you're right," Sirius smiled before he leaned back in his seat. "I'm gonna try and sleep."

James chuckled as he leaned back towards his plan again making sure he was going to double maybe even triple check it before he went to bed. "Yea because we know you'll need to be well rested for tomorrow night," James winked. Sirius laughed before he closed his eyes. "So very true Prongs." James made a weird face, "Too much info Pads."

The station was no issues, apparition wasn't an issue. It was once they got to the Wood Cutter's Cottage that the issues started. First upon arrival they were bombarded with smaller death eater attacks which were quickly handled and patronus' sent to Dumbledore to send messages to the Ministry about death eater activity.

"So, what exactly is that going to do," Parker as he dusted himself off. James chuckled as he watched his Stag race away. "It'll inform Dumbledore that we have death eater activity and he'll send words to the ministry for Auror's to come here and basically give us rather delayed backup. Ya know for after we get inside and death eaters start running away."

"Who says they'll run away?" Angie sighed as she retired her hair back. "A very angry Black," James motioned to Sirius who was already lengths ahead of him. "COME ON!" he shouted as he walked forward, "we have another round to go."

The would have quite a few more rounds of lower ranked death eaters attacking, quite like bee's protecting their hive. They come out of abandoned houses and barns. There was even one raid that popped out of what seemed like an endless well when Sirius checked it.

"I've had it up to hear with these bastards!" Justin hissed as he wiped his face clean of the blood that ran down his brow. "Yea well apparently they aren't finished with us. And we still have a long way to go. The mill is way up there on this hill."

The group looked up from where James was pointing; way up the hill about twenty miles away, stood a dark and nearly destroyed building. "Well…if that doesn't say creepy I don't know what does…" Parker chuckled. "You should see the place I grew up." Sirius muttered, "Come on few more raids and were in…and then the hard part comes."

"Ooo, and here I thought this was the hard part." James grumbled as he trekked forward. "And all of this for Remus he owes us big time!"


	71. Well That Went Well

**As long as this chapter is it could be better. I will admit that upfront though I am happy with this draft...it really could be better. Maybe one day I'll go back and reedit Backwards Desire and With Love Comes War...would you guys like that? Let me know. But for now...I'm finishing this XD. Enjoy! By the way...start of our problemes..really starts with this chapter.**

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><p>"Black you didn't tell me we'd have to crawl through a sewer to get here," Angie growled as she ducked her head again to avoid whatever was hanging from the ceiling of the stone passageway. "I didn't know we'd have to." Sirius grumbled as he kept his hands over his head, "Though I think Parker and Justin have the ticket…they brought cloaks."<p>

Parker and Justin were farther ahead with their hoods pulled over their heads wands lighting the way, "come on sissies! Pick up the pace!" Parker taunted. "I thought the point was surprise," James muttered from behind Sirius, "And hurry up Padfoot this is YOUR mission no time to act like a girl." The statement was followed by a yelp of surprise and a splash.

James Potter walked the rest of the way through the tunnel covered in slime from the old sewer waters while Sirius had a smirk on his face. "That was rather cruel," Justin snickered when James rinsed himself off once they were out of the sewers, "really since now we all have to pay for it since he still stinks." Angie muttered, "Couldn't smell him until we got out of that mess!"

"Shhh," Parker had his finger to his lips as he peered out into the hallway, "The fun part is going to be trying and finding Remus without setting off any alarms." He grumbled as he looked down the passageway lined with solid oak doors, "He could be anywhere." Sirius' heart fell in the pit of his stomach as he looked around; there were over twenty doors on this floor alone.

It took them ten minutes to make it down the dark hallway, stumbling over broken bits of wall and ceiling as they went. The building was in ruins, there were holes in the ceiling from age and abuse. There we parts of the walls that seemed to be blown apart. It was really a miracle the building still stood at all. They had gone down three more corridors, by the time a cry reached Sirius' ears.

He stood like a dog at point, waiting for the sound of the animal to reach its ears again. The group was already farther ahead getting ready to turn down the hall when they noticed he was no longer with them. "Black," Parker hissed, "come on!"

But the animal made another noise, another cry. Sirius knew that voice anywhere, and like a dog on the trail he bolted after the noise. He didn't hear the cries of the others as death eaters started to attack behind them, attacking the group with such force it rattled the old walks. "GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" Parker would shout, but Sirius wouldn't hear him. He'd heard Remus' pain filled cries, and not even hell could bar his way.

Remus spit blood as he looked up at the man who had punched him in his mouth. "Now…that your lover is on his way, oh don't give me that look neither of you are very secretive." Rosier chuckled as he stroked Remus' cheek. "Since you'll be leaving us soon, I'd like a parting present." The sound of his voice made Remus' skin crawl. He had been knocked to his knees and things were starting to add up, he had found out the night before that it was Rosier's house elf that had been tending to him. Taking rather good care of him, it had been Rosier who'd been standing outside his cell door most nights.

"And what would that be?" Remus spat already knowing his answer. "I want you to," Rosier giggled as he leaned towards Remus. "I want you to first kiss me like your life depended on it…since it rather does."

"And if I refuse?" Remus didn't like the look on the other man's face. His blood ran cold as Rosier sighed, "Well I guess I'll have to take it out on Sirius then…since well…he's a blood traitor and all…" Rosier rubbed his chin before giving Remus a sinister smile.

It was a hard choice for Remus to make, he knew Sirius was coming Rosier had told him so…then again would the man lie to get what he wanted? He couldn't put it past him. Plus even if it was or wasn't coming Sirius would feel his betrayal. The mark would burn and hurt Sirius even if Remus thought about it he was sure. But if he was to actually kiss Rosier...it would honestly hurt. 'It's to protect him,' his mind whispered.

Remus swallowed as he sat up straight, Rosier's eyes lit up. He could already see Remus give him. "One kiss then." Rosier leaned close just as their mouths were almost touching. A sly grin slipped on his face as he looked Remus in the eyes, "you don't make the rules…"

And with the kiss to seal the deal Remus knew he was screwed, he was no longer in control as Rosier pushed him down under him. This was it, Rosier was about to show him who was boss.

Sirius was halfway down the corridor he could no longer hear the shouts of his comrades, though if he strained his hearing hard enough he thought he could hear them chasing after him. He knew once he found Remus there would be one of two things happening, either he'd be in an empty cell and all the death eaters would be gone. That'd be the best out come. Or the far worse and the one Sirius was dreading but figured would be his luck. Was that as soon as he opened Remus' cell door the ring leaders of this group of death eaters would fly in like bats out of hell and attack. He only hoped his group could find them and help him fight.

Sirius was throwing open doors left and right, no one was around, nothing was in them. He ran down two more flights of steps till he knew he was well under ground, and that's when he could hear more noises. Many whimpering and crying out, that's when he had to stop. There was more than just Remus down here.

But despite every door he opened no one would come out. "Hello?" He called, no one would answer. "I won't hurt you…come out."

"There's no one here," a small voice from behind him whispered, Sirius whirled around on his heel to see a girl maybe around sigh in a blood covered gown behind him. It was obvious the girl had been abused in more ways that one. Her eyes were sad as she stood there, floating. Sirius swallowed the anger that bubbled up.

"Then why do I hear voices," he asked, doing his best to sound civil. "They are ghosts, people who are tied here." She waved around, "We are all stuck here, powering this mill. That's what it runs off of you know, powers of the dead…at least that's what mama always told me. She told me never to wander towards the mill. She said bad people worked here." The girl gave a look down the hall past Sirius, "she was right…they still work here now. They bring new people and hurt them like they did me…" Her voice faded away, she looked and sounded so sad.

"How long have you been here?" Sirius felt his heart break as she looked back up at him. How old would she be now? Did her mother know where she was? "Three years…at least I think so…I don't know. What's the date?"

"It's September 27th, 1980."

"Three years then, and a few months. It was around Christmas time when I was taken. And closer to New Years when I died…I remember the New Year celebration…"

Sirius clenched and unclenched his fists. "Your friend," she started again now realizing she had something to say. Sirius looked at her, what about Remus was he a ghost now too? "He's down there at the very bottom…one of the men like him a lot…paces down there while he's sleeping… He's a rather cruel man; he carries this powder with him when he goes in. They are so mean to him…poor fellow." She drifted down, "follow me, you'll waste your time other wise."

Sirius followed behind her wand at the ready listening in, "What's your name?" Sirius asked towards the bottom of the first of three stair cases they had to descend. "Alexia," She turned back and smiled at him, "Father was never a man who liked simple names, and yours?"

"Sirius."

The girl nodded as she continued on, "I like it. You're the only wizards who have ever come to rescue someone…the ghosts will be jealous that he was saved…" her voice faded again as screeching could be heard as they passed another cell. "Don't mind Luis, they drove him mad before they killed him. I believe he actually killed himself…once he was crazy. They made him fearful of a spoon and threw it at him….it was dreadful to watch. Even as a ghost he's crazy…" Sirius cringed as they walked on. She stopped outside the door where a moan could he heard as it crawled from under the door. Sirius let out a hiss of pain as he reached for his shoulder, it felt like he had been stabbed over and over in the same place.

"He's in there…" she whispered as she started to fade away, "Remember what I said…" and with that she was gone. What had she said, what did he need to remember? It didn't take him long to remember when the door was thrown open. The man's back was to him and he could see Remus on his knee's in front of him, his pants were sagging low enough Sirius could see the start of his ass.

A rage like no other bubbled up inside of Sirius, he could only see white as his wand sparked and hissed with his anger. "AVAKA KADAVRA!" The jet of green light was so bright it blinded Sirius; Rosier was jerked away from Remus so hard he slammed into the wall behind him.

Remus fell forward before starring up at Sirius, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. "S-Sirius…W-what have you done?" Remus looked back to see the dead man laying there eyes wide and full of shock as they began to cloud over. Remus felt a little sorry for the guy, but at least he had gotten his relief before he died.

Remus' head was jerked back as the evidence of the man's release was wiped from his mouth before Sirius claimed it with his. Remus clung to him as Sirius held him tight. "Remus," Sirius breathed when he let go of his mouth before pulling him up.

"Well I'll be," Bellatrix hissed from behind him, "I thought they had been rumors," she hissed. "How Regulus would be displeased after so long of defending his brother's honor he would come to find his brother was the exact opposite of what he said…then again…he might be disappointed you picked a wolf-"

"Don't talk about Reg like that Bellatrix," Sirius growled. His anger pulsing back to life, "you're just angry he turned you down when Uncle Pollux offered you to him." Sirius grinned as Bellatrix's face twisted into something sour. "Regulus made the right choice."

Remus screamed in pain as a jet of red light hit him square in the chest sending him sprawled across the stone floor. "Take it back!" She shrieked. Instead of Sirius giving in with a flick of his wand Bellatrix was on her back. "Now stay down bitch before I do worse." Sirius hissed.

He could hear rushing down the stairs, it was too many to be his group, of course he'd get stuck fighting by himself. Wand at the ready he waited, more feet were coming farther behind the group that now was rushing through the door. He knew them all, Rodolphus, Rastaban, Wilkes, and Avery. "Oh look, the old crew is still the same," Sirius chuckled. "I wonder if I can still take all four of you?"

"Don't be silly Sirius," Rodolphus growled as he lifted Bellatrix back up to her feet. "You simply couldn't handle all of us while trying to protect him…come come now…be a smart man."

"STUPFY!"

Rodolphus was sent forward as James and crew crashed inside of the room, "party without us?" James laughed as the numbers quickly became even. Sirius stood in front of Remus as he took Wilkes on. Bellatrix apparated on the spot most likely to send word for more death eaters.

Sirius was so wrapped up in Remus being behind him Wilkes quickly gained the upper hand and was on Sirius like a yellow jacket on sugar. Stinger out and ready to sting whoever was in his way. "Well this was rather fun, but I think I've had enough." Wilkes sighed, "Time to join your brother now, though…your brother might just be in hell…they don't let pansy's into heaven."

Sirius growled as he flicked his wrist sending Wilkes sprawled onto the floor. "What is it with you death eaters and my brother? Jealous he got out, death or no death at least he's free from your stupid rules and crazy master. Are you all like bitchs for him? Do you bend when he snaps his fingers?"

Sirius felt the sting in his arm as red started to coat his sleeve, "Do you bend for yours? Wait that's a stupid question…we all know you do. What's it like sucking dick Sirius? It's about where you belong on your knees, so down bitch down!" Sirius yelped as his knees fell fro under him. "There where you belong, down die like the dog you are…ohh…and yes…I know…Regulus told me all about it…" Sirius' eyes widen. "How else do you think we knew about your little wolf…pretty black doggie…always spotted around Hogwarts, you're a fool Black…much like your friends, your brother and father. You think you all are so clever. Well guess what…it's all over. Avada-"

Sirius was faster, his wand twirled in his fingers as the jet of green light flew from his wand causing Wilkes to go limp and crumble. It was once he had fallen did Sirius realize everyone was watching. The rest of the death eaters had gone…or so it seemed soon the whole cell echoed with steps from above. Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and he stood up, "let's go!"

"Did he just kill him?" Parker whispered as Sirius grabbed James' arm "COME ON MOVE!" Sirius shouted. The group of six raced up the narrow stairs around the twisting and turning of halls and was soon on the main floor, death eaters crawling out of every space they could. They could hear the many pops of Auror's outside, "get outside…I have a plan." Sirius grinned to James, "Angie take Remus and get out of here. Go to the others we'll be there."

"What are you doing?" She shouted as Sirius shoved here. "We're gonna make some noise."

James starred at him wide eyed as Sirius ran down a hall pulling James behind him. "Remember that spell we used in school, blew out the whole third floor for a month?" James looked at him eyes still wide, "yea?"

"Well…together you and I are going to blow this place sky high."

"W-what? Can't you read! What did-"

"I don't care what Marlene said… Look we have exactly two minutes before Auror members get in here AND those death eaters break down that door." Sirius motioned to the two behind him they had raced down this corridor dodging as many spells as they could.

The Mill was under a bubble now; Justin had mentioned it when they were racing up the stairs. No one could get in, and only those inside could get out. They weren't quite sure how it all worked; it wasn't like a Secret Keeper…but…all they knew was this base had to go. "And do we know what happens when we blow up the mill?" James asked as Sirius rolled up his shirt sleeves. "Nope, were about to find out."

"AND before we do this how do we get out?" Sirius motioned to the window behind him. James looked back and starred at Sirius, "YOUR KIDDING ME!" Sirius shook his head, "come on prongs…one big boom ready."

"No"

"Three."

"Padfoot this isn't a good idea!"

"Two."

"Padfoot I'm serious!" The door started to creak and give in, the death eaters were coming."

"Two and a half!'

"DAMMIT PADFOOT SAY ONE!" The door burst open.

"ONE." Two jets of silver colored light raced through the mass of death eaters and eventually collided into a wall behind them. James and Sirius took no time to leap out of the window; crashing two floors down into what they figured was rather a very lucky placed pond.

They nearly had enough time to rush out of the water and towards the group of Auror's who stood by. Before there was a loud sucking sound before the large BOOM that the force of the blast sent Sirius and James flying forward and the rest of the Aurors on their backs.

When the dust cleared moments later, and all debris had fallen to the group. Everyone looked where once stood the mill now was a crater.

"Well…that went well." James laughed as he rolled on his back, "Potter…get off of me…" someone grumbled under him. James rolled off to laugh at Sirius who grunted as he stood. "Everyone ok?" Sirius shouted as everyone stood up. Apparently the bubble was a blessing; it had kept everything inside of it shielding everyone from harm.

"Now…the job of clean up…"

"Crouch is going to kill you."

"I'm already dead Prongs…I killed two people in there…well more if you count the explosion."

"You're so fired…"

"At least I went out with a bang."

"BLACK!" Crouch shouted somewhere in the crowd. Apparently the big guns had been called for such a raid.

"Yep…so fired."


	72. From Here

**I feel like I might need to explain why Sirius can't be a Auror anymore, but in a really short summary. Think about it like a cop, when a cop is on the force his buddies will stop at nothing if he is convicted of something terrible (In Sirius' case it would be the death of the Potters and such) so I needed to find a way to make it so he seemed...alittle off his rocker, thus blowing up the mill. Thus why people would think he would do it and no one would fight when Sirius went away. But if it needs explaining more let me know and I'll write it all out.**

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><p>They ended up baby sitting after dinner, Lily and James had rushed out to spend the evening together leaving both Sirius and Remus in charge of little Harry. They had baby sat him a few times so they weren't brand new at it. But they weren't skilled pros either.<p>

"So apparently kids aren't as simple as Lily makes it out to be," Sirius grumbled as he ran around straightening up the room. Repairing what bits were charred or otherwise damaged. "You're the one who left your wand in a child's reach. Don't you remember that story you told me a week ago about James doing the same thing?" Remus looked at him over his book.

"Not gonna help me are you?" Remus shook his head, "Your mess, clean it up." Remus chuckled as he flipped yet another page in his book. Sirius gave a grumble as he continued to repair things, "Remy…do you ever want kids?"

Remus set his book down at looked at Sirius for a few moments; the question had come up a few times since they'd gotten out of Hogwarts and here so more lately after Harry's birth. And he never quite knew the answer. Of course he wanted children, but if he only wanted to adopt or have someone have his children for him was a rather difficult question to answer. "You know I do."

"I mean but…how do you want them?" Sirius turned to look at him, his eyes full of curiosity. "I mean…you'd be a great dad and all-"

"Where is this going Padfoot? Last time I checked, which was earlier today, you don't exactly have the parts to carry offspring now do you?" Remus sighed; this was always the hardest question he had to answer. Anything else Sirius threw at him he could handle but kids…for many reasons, were a scary concept. There was his furry little problem to take into account. What if the baby ended up like him? He couldn't handle that. And what if the kid ended up growing up to hate him and his other father because they were gay. Could he even support a child? Really it was hard enough to sustain not only himself but even Sirius. And no kid should have to grow up in an apartment, they should have a yard to run around in.

"Were you listening to me?" Sirius asked snapping in front of Remus' face. Remus blinked a few times before looking up at Sirius. "What did you say?"

"I take that as a 'No I wasn't listening'," Sirius chuckled as he sat down on the couch. "No I wasn't I was thinking. What did you say?"

Sirius leaned back and sighed, "Just…I've been thinking-"

"That's never good."

"Shove off…do you want me to talk or not?"

"I'm sorry continue," Remus turned his full attention to Sirius and smiled. He held out his hand for Sirius to take, Sirius looked at it a moment before taking it. "I just…ya know watching Harry grow it makes me want little ones…feel like I'm missing out."

"Padfoot we can always adopt after the war I mean there will be tons a kids-"

"No I mean…" Sirius looked down at his and Remus' hands locked together. "I want little ones from me…"

Remus starred at him for a moment, eyes wide like that of a deer in headlights. Sirius had never expressed real drive to have children. Adopt and have a family yes, maybe even kids that came from Remus but never ones that come from him. He always claimed the Black family curse might just follow the kid. Since Black Family kids never had good lives. "But your different," Remus would always tell him. But Sirius would always laugh and tell him it didn't matter.

"Why all the sudden?" was the only question that Remus could even make come out of his mouth. "I mean…there's a war going on and-"

"I know it's stupid to want." Sirius frowned as he traced Remus' hand with his finger. "I know I really shouldn't even want it…what kind of person would let me raise kids…and who would want me to procreate anyway…"

"I would." Remus looked at him, "I think it'd be wonderful if you had kids," Remus smiled as Sirius looked right in his eyes. "Granted…we'd have to find some way to get a girl pregnant but name one girl who wouldn't like to go 'I had Sirius Black's babies', for one and for two I'm here I can help."

"Well…the ladies would like a go at me," Sirius grinned.

"Another way Sirius…marked remember. Especially towards the mother of your child…that wouldn't end well." Remus chuckled, "Besides we have a whole war to think this through. I won't have kids before then…any reason to raise a child in this hell hole of a world we live in. No wait till Voldemort's dead to even talk about this for real."

"You never answered me, how do you want kids?" Sirius asked again, "You've never really told me how you wanted children; the adoption idea has always been a rather open answer for you…but never if-"

"I don't think I'll ever want kids that come from me," Remus stood up and looked out the window. "Too much of a risk…ya know to be a werewolf…I wouldn't want anyone to go through that pain…especially not a child."

Sirius watched him stand there and sighed heavily, "Would you be this way if you were with a bird?" Remus turned on his heel and really looked at Sirius. His face was nothing but serious, and Remus frowned. "Do you really think I would want kids if I wasn't with you?" Sirius shrugged, "I mean…you'd probably be with a werewolf-"

"Actually no I wouldn't," Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "I may be a werewolf but I don't act like one. I want as normal of a life as I can have…and dating or even marrying a werewolf would not be a normal life…our children would be more than screwed for one. For two…all I've ever wanted was to be normal Sirius. You know this."

"I do know that but…I mean…if you weren't gay-"

"Neither of us are gay Sirius, were both bi. Granted I prefer you to any girl I'd ever be with but, still." Sirius laughed as he shook his head. "Swinging for both teams?"

"Course I am and I know you are Mr. I Still Watch Everything That Moves."

"HEY!" Sirius held up his hands, "I can appreciate both body types, can't tell me there is anything wrong with watching a set of curves walk past." Remus laughed as he shook his head, "No there isn't anything wrong as long as you come home to me every night."

Sirius stood up and pushed Remus against the wall, "Don't I always?" He whispered low before running his fingers down Remus' sides. "Lily will kill you if we have sex in her house." Sirius snorted, "What she won't know won't hurt her."

"There's a baby upstairs."

"It's how he was created," Sirius grinned, "You can't tell me it's a bit of a rush." Sirius ran kisses down his neck. "It's like having sex in your parents bed you never know when their gonna come in and find you."

"Oh get off," Remus chuckled pushing him away trying to hide his harden body, "I am not getting caught with my pants down by Lily, nah uh…no way."

"Be a party pooper then!" Sirius grumbled as he looked out the window. "This is another reason we can't have kids Sirius." Remus chuckled as Sirius looked back at him with a 'why?' expression. "You just can't keep your hands off of me and no kid needs to see their dads bent over."

James and Lily came home with the sunrise, and after breakfast Sirius and Remus headed back to the flat. And Sirius didn't linger long at home; he had an office to clean out. "I really really REALLY want to punch Crouch when I see him." Sirius growled as he pulled his pants up over his waist. "I mean can I Rem?"

"I'm not coming to bail you out; do you wanna sit in jail for a while? God only knows how bad Crouch wants you in Azkaban, what did you even DO to piss him off so much?" Remus asked as he folded the laundry that was thrown out on the bed. "Not a clue," Sirius muttered as his head popped out from under his shirt. "I probably am sexier than him and he's jealous."

"It's not hard to do," Remus laughed. "You best hurry before they throw your stuff in the trash."

"I'll be back, hour tops…I'm gonna put one of those spark wheels in his office." Sirius grinned like a child as he walked towards the door. "DON'T GET IN-" the door shut with Sirius' loud laughter. "Trouble…"

Remus knew good and well Sirius was going to go out with a bang, and Crouch really was going to get what he deserved but Sirius was in for it. At least from now on Remus wouldn't be alone, Sirius would be home with him. They'd have no issues, they'd always be around each other to talk and laugh. Maybe even have missions together. Remus wasn't sure but all he knew was from here on out Sirius would be there with him.


	73. Love Letters

**UGH! Sorry this is late guys...I tired to finish it last night but...that didn't happen. I've been crazy busy. But this is a rather long chapter so I think it's worth it :D. Enjoy! Also if your reading this fanfic drop me a comment! I wanna know who all is reading!**

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><p>Or at least that was what Remus thought; Sirius had two weeks alone with Remus. Just two weeks before Dumbledore caught wind of something and sent Sirius on a solo mission. Which not only worried Remus but made him suspicious, Dumbledore never talked to him about Sirius' mission despite him asking. Sometimes even flat out made it seem like he'd never sent him.<p>

Though Dumbledore treated his missions the same way and Sirius had even told him so. It made him worry, that something might not be right. But every time he'd think that way he'd smack himself. Sirius was no traitor and it was just fear of the war seeping in. He'd come after him, when the death eaters had him didn't he? He fought for him even lost his job because he came to save him…why would Sirius risk all of that…if he was a traitor?

Remus shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair, it was just being alone and not knowing where Sirius was or how he was or what he was doing that made him think this way. Plus the forty eight hours with no sleep probably didn't help. It this how Sirius felt when he was away?

The soft hoot from the window sill caused Remus to jump out of his chair and look around, he'd never seen the tawny owl that sat in the window sill before, but it held a letter in its talon. It looked something similar to Laurence's owl so Remus opened the window. But when he was greeted to a rather friendly owl he knew it wasn't Laurence's.

_Dear Remy,_

_Tell Tenebris I'm sorry I couldn't use him in advance. When you write me back he'll realize who it's from and be rather upset. But he's a very noticeable owl and I don't want this letter falling into the wrong hands. Really…there's nothing important to tell but I don't want this poor owl to be hurt in the cross fire because you know how people are. Searching letters and such. But it's been two days since I've seen your face, and I miss it terribly…that came out wrong sorry. I mean I miss you. I'm lonely and bored here in the woods, don't worry I am protected…to the teeth really. Anything that comes at me weither it be man or beast I am armed. _

_And if worst comes to worst I have a little black dog that will help me. Anyway…I'm writing to say I miss you, the shirt I stole from you now smells to much like me to help, when I come home your teaching me that scent locking spell you have…because I desperately need it. _

_Next time I just might pack you in my bags and make you come with me. How is Lari doing by the way? She seemed heart broken when I left…give her a kiss for me and Tene too…since I know he misses me. _

_OH and give this owl a treat for me, she's such a sweet bird. She's been my companion for a few days now. And I doubt she'll flutter away while you read this. I think her master may have either abandoned her or was killed. If she continues to linger I'll bring her home for you, since you've never had your own owl. So start thinking of names._

_I kinda wanna call her shilling; don't ask why…she just seems like a shilling kinda owl. But it's up to you…and I really don't know what else to write. Well there is much to say but I'd rather her get to you and get your letter back before I even ATTEMPT to write more. IF you do get this don't send the letter back till night fall…since I don't know where I'll be and I can't make camp until then._

_With all of my love_

_SB_

Remus chuckled as he read the letter three times over; it was nice to know on a day where he just needed a reminder that Sirius loved him that he'd write to him. The boy must honestly be physic. Remus was in no hurry to write, seeing as it was quite a few hours from night fall. And Sirius was already jeopardizing his mission writing him, and Remus was no worse for writing back. But he just couldn't help himself, nothing made him feel more giddy that a love letter.

With food and drink left out for the unnamed owl, and Sirius' love given to both Lari and Tenebris. After the sun started to set Remus sat down and started to write.

_Dear Sirius_

_What the hell is "SB" for can't write your name, or were you in a rush? If we need nicknames you could tell me…ya know in the letter. No we will not use anything vulgar…because I know you and that'll be your first thought when you read that sentence. _

_I miss you too, terribly so, I can't even sleep without you here. Though tonight I'll probably pass out after writing this. Since I know you're safe and sound, I love you very much and I miss you…even though I just said that I figured I'd say it twice._

_So hurry up with your mission and come home…the flat is quiet without you. Though when you get back I'll most likely be gone due to full moon…so…_

_But I digress, I miss you horribly, you better be home before Halloween! That's for sure; otherwise I will be very upset. Though Halloween is in two weeks so…you have time._

_Also your 'companion' is a very sweet bird indeed; I think you should go along the lines of abandoned, since she's very fond of humans. Probably was just left behind. I'd think if her master was killed she might not be as friendly- or maybe she just wanted a job who knows. Tenebris is rather unhappy with you, since I'm sure your clever owl has already figured it all out. I'm keeping him in until you come back because I know he'll try and find you. But I best close this letter so it gets to you rather quickly and it won't be a long read._

_I like you, will wait until we see if your new found friend can get the letter back to you. Take care love and be safe._

_With my love_

_RL (copying you)_

Remus sealed the letter and smiled as he handed it to the owl that hopped around on the desk and chirped with delight. "Alright here you go, take this to Sirius, be secretive and quiet." The owl gently took the letter from him and flew out the window.

Remus waited till she was out of sight to close the window, "Sorry Tenebris, your just too noticeable to let out." Tenebris gave an aggravated hoot and turned his back. Sirius had left him with an aggitated owl; Remus figured that despite his exhaustion the owl would not let him sleep tonight.

Remus woke the next morning to Tenebris' screech, throwing the covers off of him wand at the ready Remus burst into the living room. Only to stare at the giant black owl hooting and fluttering in front of the window as the tawny owl sat perched in the window looking greatly unamused at the owls' antics of trying to frighten her.

"Tenebris, calm down!" Remus grabbed the owl and held him as he slowly calmed down, "You're going to get us thrown out. Stop being a tight wad." Tenebris gave a tired hoot as Remus put him down, "I know you're angry…but give the lady some manners."

_Dear Mr. Aches,_

_Since you make me ache all the time, see what I did there? Anyway she arrived as you can tell by this letter. And it's rather late, the fire's dying and all I can think about is you. I was supposed to have a team, but apparently this went from a group mission to a solo mission. I guess just me alone was better suited for the job._

_And it's one boring ass job; I have no action no nothing just…sitting around….waiting. It's all quiet on the western front…or is that now how that book goes? Ooo a firefly!_

_Anyway, I should be home WAY before Halloween…but who knows if action comes a calling I'll be later. Though if you're gone when I get home I'm going to be pissy and I'm going to chew on everything in site. I will destroy the house then when you find me in the morning I will be surrounded by all the feathers in your pillow! Yes I went there I will destroy your precious pillow!_

_REMUS I AM BORED and I really, REALLY want you right now, is that weird to write that…we've never really wrote dirty things to one another…since ya know were always pretty close to one another to just do it…it really sucks you know being out here in these woods where no one is and your all alone. All the free time I have to just think._

_Which almost always ends up with you and me doing something against a tree or in the creek that's a few miles back…because nothing is more sexy than you sprawled out in the grass crying out my name…was that to much…it probably was. Oh well when a tree falls in the forest and your not around to see it can you hear it? If you were here we could find out._

_But alas your not…maybe we'll vacation sometime? Who knows, anyway I'm tired and need a good wank so…I'll write you tomorrow after you get this letter…and send it back and such._

_I love you Rem, and I miss you terribly. Again send the letter after night falls._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

Remus shook his head as the visual's of Sirius' letter filled his mind. They definitely needed to take a vacation… The smell of warm tea and toast pulled Remus from this letter only for a few moments. Once he was situated back down and his breakfast was gone he walked towards his office and pulled free a piece of parchment and began to write.

_Dear Pains,_

_Since I'm aches you get to be pains. And it's rather boring around here as well; we all miss you very much and would like you to be home sooner rather than later. But I know how missions go, just be careful._

_ALSO don't EVER quote All Quiet On The Western Front like that…I'll give you a spoiler, one of the characters dies on a quiet day after he gets sidetracked by a bird…so let's not quote that. As cute as it is for you to pay attention to what I've read before it's not cute when you quote it and end up quoting a bad part._

_Touch my pillow and I'm stealing yours, granted I already have been but that's beside the point. If I'm not home you'll behave and wait for me to return. Because if you don't your grounded, period Mr. Black so…think before you act._

_You actually can think? My my, we should leave you alone in the wild more often…though what your thinking about seems to be rather common for you. Also it left me rather hard so…I need to deal with that after this letter. But despite that…I really would like to go on vacation; don't you have a home in Surrey we can venture to?_

_I love you too very much, and I miss you just as much. Be safe._

_Love,_

_Remus_

Remus never heard the door open; he didn't hear the shocked hoot of an owl in the living room. He was too lost in his slumber to even hear the bedroom door squeak open. Curled up on Sirius' side of the bed he was lost in his dreams. It'd been a week since Sirius was home, and his side of the bed was slowly starting to loose the familiar smell of his lover.

"Dear Remus," he heard whispered in his ear. "You need to wake up now, and give me a kiss. Because tomorrow you will be gone to do your werewolf thing and I will be home all alone. So wakey, wakey!"

Remus groaned as he was nudged awake and once he rolled into a solid form his eyes flew open and he sat up straight in bed starring back at silver eyes. "W-when did you get home?"

Sirius grinned broadly ear to ear before pulling Remus in for a breathless kiss, once the two were pulled apart Sirius ran kisses all over Remus' face. "Frank came out in the woods and called me off shift so instead of staying the night with him; I rushed home to be with you. Granted I am too tired to actually DO anything…I figured it'd be nice to fall asleep in your arms for tonight."

Remus smiled as he rolled over past Sirius and let him snuggle into the bed before wrapping his arms around his lover. "Yep, I was right totally worth coming home," Sirius smiled as he snuggled into bed. "EP!" he shouted as a cold nose raced up his back and wedged itself between himself and Remus, "Lari…no come on come sleep on this side." After a few grunts of pain Lari was now snuggled against Sirius' chest and Remus was now snuggled back against his back.

After a few moments and both men had slowly drifted off to sleep "Hoot Hoot!" Sirius poked an eye open as Remus groaned in frustration. "Sirius…if you were going to bring all the animals to bed…"

"I didn't bring any of them to bed!" Sirius sat up and looked at Tenebris and the tawny owl perched on the foot boards, "look…if you guys are gonna…ya know perch there be quiet." He waited twenty minutes before both owls snuggled close together gave a quiet hoot apiece and closed their eyes. Sirius flopped back on the bed and glanced at his alarm clock, it was already five in the morning.

"Remus…are you awake?"

"No."

"Did you want to stay awake?"

"Go to sleep Sirius."

"Ok."


	74. Holiday

**Hi guys! I really am SOOO sorry I didn't post at all last week or monday, I had a very crazy week and just had no time to sit down and write. And this chapter was half written when I had a better muse and towards the end it kinda withers away...beacuse I just couldn't find the same groove XD. If your a writer you'll know your day to day muse tends to change from time to time XD. But I still hope you enjoy it none the less. **

**Also...were about to start 1981...you guys know what happens...**

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><p>Remus never went to the full moon gathering, nor did he go to the moon after. And he had made no plans to go to the December moon, seeing as it was a few days before Christmas. And as it was Remus was packing for a winter holiday. Sirius was due home anytime from a secret meeting with Dumbledore about his latest mission and in the morning they'd hop into the floo network and appear at Sirius' old family place he had inherited.<p>

They had never really used it. Sirius had once said that it probably was too run down to even try and live in. But all of the sudden he was randomly ready to up and run to it. And Remus was ready to get out of London and out into new territory so he didn't even second guess it.

They would be spending the twenty seventh with James and Lily, since the new family wanted to spend their first Christmas completely together without the two uncles rushing in. And of course both men agreed to it, but demanded to have a special day just for "family" time. Which Lily had laughed but agreed.

The bell above the door jingled as Sirius waltzed in humming jingle bells, there was a thump on the kitchen counter causing Remus to look out the door frame to see a box filled with bags. "Sirius…what on earth did you buy? I thought we weren't doing gifts this year?" Granted Remus had bought him something small and special, so really if he harassed Sirius about it, he'd be a hypocrite.

"Groceries for the house, and a few presents for our lovely children."

Remus eyed the two sleeping owls; Tenebris was leaning against the newly named Shilling. The once aggravated eagle owl was now rather happy to have the tawny owl as company. And the two were thicker than thieves. If one left the other would follow. And Lari the ever faithful hound was curled up next to the furnace that was inside of their flat.

"Spoiling our children, are we?"

"It'll be Christmas soon…I am allowed to."

The wait for the morning floo went by rather fast and sooner than they knew it they were in the summer home of Sirius' childhood. It was a decent sized cottage, with acres that went on farther than the eye could see, it was all covered in snow and reminded Remus much of his school days, with all of Hogwarts covered in snow.

"Welcome to the Black's get away home," Sirius chuckled as he stepped out of the fireplace, dusting himself off as Lari rushed passed his barking up a mad storm. "Probably should have apparated with her…" Remus' chuckles could he heard from the fireplace as he joined Sirius' side once he was dusted off. "She'll be fine"

Once his eyes adjusted Remus' mouth fell wide open, if this was Sirius' idea of run down he could only imagine what livable looked like.

Candles as far as the eye could see lit up the second they apparated out of the fireplace, and once out of the fireplace the fire erupted to life, lighting up two rather comfy looking arm chairs. Off to the left was a rather homey kitchen, and beside the kitchen was the formal dinning room and across that, at the back of the fireplace's wall was an office. And behind that was the staircase that led up to the loft, where Remus figured the master suite was.

"And where exactly did you and Reg sleep?"

"Well when we were kids the house used to jut out much farther, it's under rather old magic. It only shows as much of the house as needed. I can remember one Christmas when I was much younger where it was about the size of Jane and Harold's house…so this house can be much bigger. But how it works is past the staircase up, there normally forms a hallway both long ways and sideways. When Reg and I were kids it would only form a hallway big enough for our bedrooms and a play room when we were children. As we got older it was only our bedrooms. But sometimes if we got lucky, we'd wake up to a surprise and there would be a pool off down the wings. Or an indoor backyard or something of those sorts. Just depended upon what was needed at the time."

Remus nodded his head as he followed Sirius around and once the food they would be needed for their weekend stay was put away and the suitcases somehow managed to float up the stairs and all if it laid out ready for them.

"How did you get this all ready?" Remus finally asked after Sirius finished making lunch, "I mean last time we talked about it you said-"

"I was up here tidying up." Sirius looked him over, "I mean…it wasn't as bad as I imagined it'd be, seeing as I haven't been here in seven or so years. But it needed some light cleaning and new candles and the like. Since this place has no electricity. So…we'll have to rely on each other's heat to keep us warm."

"Isn't there a fireplace in the loft?"

"You completely missed my point." Sirius chuckled, "but yes there is. So no you won't freeze since you don't want to be my blanket."

"Exactly I'd be YOUR blanket, you'd be warm and toasty, and I'd be shivering my balls off."

"Not like they are needed," Sirius chuckled as he took a sip of his tea. Remus glared at him, "nor does yours."

The evening flashed by rather too quickly for Remus' liking, even though it was only the first day of their week vacation it bothered him how quickly time passed by. Before he knew it dinner was eaten and they were curled up in the living room.

He'd been informed tomorrow they would venture out into the woods in the back to find a decent Christmas tree to decorate as well as the rest of the house. "I'm sure we have decorations somewhere…just have to remember how to call the room." Sirius muttered as he stood at the base of the stairs knocking on the wall. Remus hadn't realized he'd walked all the way up the stairs by himself until Sirius knocked on the wall and he sighed.

Looking over the loft area he smiled, it was a large king bed in the middle of the room with a stone fireplace on the right side wall, alive with a warm fire. It looked like a place he'd never want to leave. All he needed as a good book and a warm cup of tea and he'd be set.

But the warmth of a body behind him jarred him from his thoughts, and soon warm lips against his neck followed. "You know, this is gonna be the best Christmas ever." Sirius chuckled as he ran nibbles down Remus' neck. "You say that now, till your nursing me back to health after full moon. Speaking of that…where am I going to transform I didn't even think about it."

The realization that for once in his life Remus had forgotten about transformation, forgotten his whole curse scared him. "Way ahead of you…remember this house makes anything you need…well I'm sure it has a basement…so you're covered." Sirius chuckled, "I wouldn't have suggested this idea if I didn't have that tiny detail covered."

"You're a life saver" Remus muttered as he leaned against him. "I know."


	75. Lap of Luxuary

**Just another filler chapter (which there have to be some since I am going through the whole stage of life right XD) And I really liked this one so enjoy!**

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><p>Remus woke up well after noon, it really was much to warm to try and crawl out of bed. Instead he laid there wrapped in the warm quilt and listened to the fire crackle, it took him a few minutes to smell the mug of hot chocolate beside his bed, and as he rolled over to grab it he noticed a book lying underneath it. He smiled, Sirius was already well into taking care of his werewolf.<p>

He opened the book to start reading as a letter fluttered to the bed covers, Remus looked at the paper and breathed a sigh of relief he had first thought it was a page of the book falling out. He reached down and smiled he'd know that handwriting anywhere,

_Remy,_

_It was dumb of me to tell you today was the day we'd pick a tree…since tonight is full moon…but I've already gotten dressed as I am writing this. So I'm gonna go out pick the best tree and set it up so tomorrow when you wake up after your hellish night the WHOLE cottage will smell like pine tree. _

_But I figured I'd let you sleep, I should be back around three or so, depending upon how allusive this fantastic tree is. But I made you a cup of hot chocolate which should stay in prime condition till you wake up (Thank Merlin for magic!) And I brought your favorite book up for you to read while I was gone._

_I love you dearly and once this full moon is over we will have the best Christmas vacation you've ever had!_

_~Sirius_

He shook his head and chuckled, there were times were Sirius was the most adorable person you could imagine. He was always the kind of person who wanted to be independent, but Sirius wasn't a dog for the fun of it. He was amazing at hiding some of his more soul dog qualities. Like wanting nothing more to be by your side and never let you out of his sight. Or that no matter what you did to him he'd love you with all of his heart and trust you to the ends of the earth. Sirius was nothing more than a walking heart. But he hid it from everyone who didn't take the time to get to know him.

Remus read the letter a few times over before folding it up and slipping it in the back of the book, at least now he had a sweet bookmark. After a sip of his hot chocolate which indeed did stay in prime condition for him, he nestled back into the covers and began to read.

Remus was buried in the battle of King Arthur against Mordred, when a crashing from downstairs nearly caused him to leap out of bed. Causing every muscle in his body to scream in protest as he held his hand over his heart. "DAMN YOU TREE!" The shout from downstairs told him Sirius was home, and with barking from Lari to prove him right he slowly got out of bed and groaned loudly as he stretched, he really hated full moons.

"Afternoon love," Remus chuckled as he came down with his empty mug of hot chocolate and walked past Sirius who struggled to pull the tree all the way inside as he placed the mug in the kitchen sink. "Want help with that?" Remus asked as Sirius glared daggers at him. "It'd be nice!"

"Wingardium Leviosa."

The tree slowly flew through the air and after a few moments Remus had it leaning happily against the wall prepared to be placed in the stand. "I hate you sometimes," Sirius muttered as he rubbed his shoulder. "Did you cut it down without magic too?"

"Family tradition I suppose." Sirius muttered, "I figured since I was here I mine as well do it the way my father and grandfather did it."

"Your father, purebloodist that he was…cut down a tree like a muggle?" Remus looked Sirius over as he nodded. "Me and Reg even helped him one year, granted my mother never knew it was done the muggle way or she'd have set the tree on fire." Sirius chuckled as he sat down in one of the armchairs, "care to do a bit more magic?"

"I thought we were going with tradition here?" Remus chuckled. "Eh, after dad got it here magic was key, mum would have lost her grip on reality if he was doing things the muggle way."

"Was it all done by magic?" Remus asked as he started to levitate the tree into the stand. "Tinsel and the star were done by magic, as well as the top half with Ornaments, the bottom wasn't though that was what me and Reg would do. Whatever we could reach we got to do."

"Well that's cute."

"Not really," Sirius stretched and sighed, "If mum didn't like where something was placed she'd move it. It sorta defeated the purpose because she always was placing it for us. So after a few years me and Reg would let her do it then sneak out after bedtime and do it ourselves, she never noticed."

Remus chuckled as the tree locked into place; the eight foot tree was touching the railing of the loft. It was a beautiful tree and the house seemed to glow with knowing that after all of these years unused and alone. It finally had a family to share Christmas with. "It's a lovely tree Sirius. Please tell me you didn't drag it all the way home."

"Tradition remember?" Sirius chuckled as a bottle of wine flew from the kitchen along with two wine glasses. "We have a few hours before full moon, so come and have a drink with me. "

It took Remus two days to get over the full moon; it was December 24th, the day before Christmas. The tree had been left undone, Sirius was too stubborn to go ahead and decorate it without Remus. "It won't be a family thing if your not there!"

And when Remus had given him the ok that they'd decorate today, Sirius flew from the loft and down the stairs. Hunting for the mysterious room full of decorations, "I FOUND IT!" He shouted a few hours later, jarring Remus from a nap the blonde jerked awake and rushed down the stairs.

"Found what?" He shouted once he was at the bottom of the stairs, once he looked to his right there was a very long hallway, probably twice the length of the rest of the house. It made him feel rather sea sick as he looked down the long hallway that came from out of no where. "S-Sirius?"

Down towards the end of the hallway, out popped Sirius' head form a door frame, "I'm down here!" He shouted back. Remus nodded as he slowly walked down the hallway, there wasn't a door down the entire hall, the Victorian styled wall paper seemed like it hadn't breathed life in ages, and the dark wood floors looked like much needed TLC was in order. Cobwebs were curled in the corner and the small in table at the end, was covered in dust. On top of the in table was an old vase it startled Remus to see that the lilies looked they had only started to wilt away.

"It's rather spooky here…" Remus muttered.

"Don't look in the mirror," Sirius chuckled. But he was too late, Remus had already glanced at the mirror that hung over the in table. It was hazed over from age and Remus would bet just about anything that the lining of the mirror was sliver. "What's wrong with the mirror?" Remus asked walking closer, it practically drew him in.

"Well it's said to-"

But Remus wasn't listening, the mirror called his name. He could hear it whisper 'Remus, come closer.' And he did, he continued to walk almost as in a daze. He reached his hand out which instantly burned, if he was in his right mind he'd know his past thoughts of it being laced with silver were correct.

"LUPIN!"

Remus was jerked back towards the side and was shook rather roughly. His head throbbed and his body trembled. "Hells bells Remus! Don't you listen to anybody?"

"What are you talking about?" Remus jerked away and rubbed his face, "what the HELL is that thing!" Remus felt like he'd fallen asleep and missed years of his life. And only to be jarred awake just before he fell into a nightmare.

"It's a pureblood mirror. If you're not a pureblood it's known to suck out magic or even worse. At least that's what I've always been told…it was sort of a family trial. If you could look at it you were a pureblood. It's how the older family picked out pairs to marry." Remus starred at him wide eyed, "your in a realm of purebloodist's Remus…you can't be too careful."

Remus glanced a quick look at the mirror again only to notice that now the lilies that had once looked like they would soon die now looked rather lively and beautiful again "But- but"

Sirius looked and chuckled an odd sort of chuckle, "You fed the lilies Remus, your magic and life are its water. I was told as a kid, by Bellatrix, that the reason the lilies looked so pretty was because the mirror ate a young girl. The flowers lived off of her life…" Remus gulped, "So…"

"So apparently Bellatrix wasn't pulling my leg," Sirius chuckled again as he pushed Remus inside of the more trusted room. "WHY IS THAT THING STILL HERE THEN?" Remus shouted once his mind stopped whirling around like a carousel. Sirius blinked as he looked him over, "Err…because I can't get rid of it?" Sirius sat down on one of the larger crates of decorations. "Because the mirror is shatter proof, all it does is eat whatever you throw at it, the glass turns into water and it just sinks in. It's how it eats people. You can't cover it because again it'll eat it. Or the lilies burst into flames and then regrow once the cover is gone quite like a phoenix. AND you can't pull it off the wall because of a defense mechanism where it will again...eat you. Basically whoever put it there got eaten and anyone who tries to take it off gets eaten. Therefore not worth it."

Remus starred at him, "Is there anything like that in number twelve."

"No." Remus breathed a sigh of relief. "It's a one of a kind piece, there is much worse in number twelve." Remus groaned he should have figured. "But there is nothing in the front of the house that can hurt you, I promise. You wouldn't be here if where you'd mostly be was any danger." Remus breathed a sigh of relief at least he didn't need to worry about any more lilies wanting to suck out his soul.


	76. Forgetting Your Duty

**And yet more trouble is to come...welcome to January (nearly Feb.) of 1981...you have nine months left...**

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><p>Christmas day was lovely; it was simply a relaxing day. Both boys slept in curled up with one another. And when they finally left the bed most of the day was just spent cuddling and being around one another, small gifts were exchanged. But mostly it was a day to be a family. Sirius and Remus, both beloved owls and their faithful hound all spent the day together. It was a simple day that neither man nor beast would have changed for anything.<p>

The holiday spent with the Potter's and Peter was spent the same way, just enjoying the day. And loving being around one another being thankful for all the love and joy they had despite the dark times they were surrounded in. And the New Year rang in new hope that once and for all the Dark Lord would be defeated.

Remus sat in his office drowning in paperwork for the Order. They had recently banded forces with the Ministry of Magic, must to Sirius' distaste. Because along with them joining forces with the Order, the Ministry had also lifted the law on unforgivable's and all aurors were told to use deadly force on sight. Though Sirius' job was still unavailable since he had broken the law while it was in place.

Remus had really only been back ten minutes from a meeting with Dumbledore, through the floo network. The thoughts from the meeting still had been fresh in his mind.

"You have to be out there Remus…we need that information, we also need to keep an eye on them. They are the only pack of werewolves we know of that have yet to join Voldemort's forces. This is important…I understand it's hard-"

"It's not that Albus," He had sighed. "It's the fact Sirius doesn't like me going…he's scared. As we all are," Remus had been too tired to fight with the old man; all he had honestly wanted to do was crawl into bed and never come out. "I understand it's scary for him and rather hard. He's helped you with it since he figured it out years ago…but Remus there may come a time where you have to choose which is more important…guiding those who would otherwise be unguided. Or your friends who really no matter what you decide will always be there."

Remus had given up at that point, there was no reason arguing "Next month I promise…I'd just hold them back in the state I am in. Just too weak as it is."

"As you wish Remus. Next month then I'll require a report back."

The meeting had ended and once his old headmaster's face had faded form the flames. Remus had let himself fall back and let out a frustrated cry before he rolled on his stomach and make his way to his desk to get work started.

"REMUS!" Sirius shouted upon slamming the front door shut. Another terrible mission, "I need you!" Holding his blood stained sleeve he walked towards the office, "LUPIN I-" Sirius stopped as Remus let out a loud snore, the werewolf us up past his eyes in paperwork. Weither it be from the ministry's "werewolf hunt" or the Orders "Keeping tabs" papers. Sirius frowned as he held his arm tighter, he figured he'd bandage it himself then put Remus to bed.

It was nearly six thirty before Remus rolled out of bed and walked into the kitchen "What time is it?" He asked his voice groggy and full of pain. The moon was nearly here and if he wanted to head off for the pack he should have been gone an hour ago. Sirius didn't get to answer before a knock came at his door.

When the door unlocked it was like second nature to Sirius to reach over the couch arm to the in table and arm himself. The second the door opened Stupefy flew from Sirius' wand hitting the guest square in the chest sending him crashing into the wall. The cry of surprise was loud enough to stir the owls from their perch with a screech.

Sirius was up and over the couches back in seconds wand at the ready to attack the target yet again. "I SURRENDER! IT"S ME!" Came a shout from the ground. Harris had his hands hidden over his face to protect himself from Sirius' wrath. Sirius froze midstep before he turned back and faced Remus "HE HAS A KEY?"

Remus stood dumbfounded by the action that had taken place and could only nod a response. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd fucking blow your top." Harris growled from the floor, "Help me up."

"Get your own self up." Sirius spat as he slipped his wand back in his pocket. "Maybe you should knock next time, next time you won't be breathing if you do it again." Sirius gave him a deadly glare before walking back in his flat and slammed the door behind him. And a knock quickly followed.

Sirius stormed past Remus who walked towards the door, "yes?" Remus muttered as he looked at Harris who was holding his arm. "Can I come in oh great and power Dog?" He shouted past Remus' shoulder as Remus' office door slammed shut. "I take that as a yes." Remus stepped aside as Harris walked in. Sirius was in a foul mood and with the moon coming he could only guess why.

"I won't be going out this moon." Remus grumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck, preparing for Harris to snap. "And why not?" The question was calm and collected, but Harris' wolf eyes glowed, there was no calmness to him. "Because I am ill."

"We're all fucking ill Remus, I thought you wanted a place in this pack I stuck my neck out for you! And here you are, not showing up, you realize what Laurence will do to you? TO ME! If he finds out yet again you won't show up. I thought it was 'dangerous' to be around humans?"

Remus rubbed his temple his head throbbed and his stomach ached, he couldn't remember his last moon where he had felt like this. It probably was due to stress from the recently more deadly attacks on anyone who didn't have a dark mark. And the fact Sirius was out in the fray and more often than not came back tattered and torn. He'd tell the darkest stories from battles, which Remus had his own fair share of battle wounds and stories. But Sirius loved the danger, and would get himself right into it if he had the chance.

"It is, but I took my Wolfsbane and its good tests, Sirius can handle me easy. I just curl up in my office while he is in here and he keeps an eye on me. It's good news for the Ministry who wants to sell this to more than just beta testers, it's changing the world."

"Yes well…if you haven't noticed most of the wolves went to the dark side anyway…you're not saving anyone. And there have already been death eaters around asking questions so maybe you might want to put your faith back in Laurence and sway him."

It seemed like a bluff a well displayed bluff, Laurence had more than once told his pack anyone who believed in blood purity and all that needed to find a new alpha. But…times were getting tougher to hold such morals. The world was getting dark; you could almost hear the thunder on the horizon of the breaking storm. And it would come down to if you were strong enough to fight it or if you bent to its will. And it wasn't a guarantee if you did you'd survive, and if you didn't it was almost certain you would perish.

"Tell him I'll be there next month…I'd be there this month but I am…"

"There is no next month Lupin! You don't fucking GET IT! He wants you there NOW, THIS moon. You don't get to pick and choose we are just a go whenever you want kinda pack. I understand this is your first pack and our laws and rules are different than what you're used to. But this…this is madness and it is going to stop." Harris grabbed him by his arm and went to lead him out.

Out of the shadows Lari came teeth barred at the now hostile force in her home. Protecting those she cared dear was a large job of the dog. Lately she'd be out more at Sirius or Remus' heels then waiting at home for their return. Animals of the magical world now had more than just their normal job to do. They now were in this war too, bound to fight against the darkness.

"Back up hound," Harris growled as he reached in his pocket for his wand. "Or-"

He didn't have a chance to even finish his sentence before his wand flew from his hand, Sirius' growl low from behind. "Get out. Let go of my boyfriend and get the fuck out…before you cross the one man you never want to cross." Sirius' tone was deathly as he growled again. Remus didn't dare to turn around, his chest burned knowing full well the mark on Sirius' shoulder burned just as hot. His mate was in danger, he was scared and it was Sirius' job to protect him.

"Make me."

Those words should never be muttered to an angry Black. It just never ended well, Remus couldn't see Sirius but he could hear him slip his wand into his back pocket and walk forward. "Let him go, now."

"Make me."

Remus cringed as he could hear bones crack, Sirius was never a violent person. At least not in the muggle sense, he could hex you to kingdom come and not be bothered. But for him to physically punch someone hard enough to break bones…just didn't happen. But there stood Harris, broken nose and jaw, howling in pain. Sirius shoved him out the door, "go join your pack and stay away from mine." Sirius growled, eyes flashing a deathly sliver. "Because if you come back…"

"Sirius," Remus whispered behind him as he pulled back, "let him go." Sirius had turned to face him for a moment and when he turned back Harris was walking away. "Lupin you'll regret this! You hear me!"

"SAY IT TO HIS FACE I DARE YOU!" Sirius shouted as Remus pulled him inside and shut the door. "Calm down Sirius," Remus muttered leaning against him, he groaned in pain as he leaned against him. "Moon's coming and I need you…calm down."

Remus smelt trouble, but he wouldn't let Sirius onto it. He knew something was coming, he just hoped he would be wrong. But something about the wolf inside of him, was telling him that tonight would not be a simple night in like he had imagined.


	77. Duty of Heart

**This is a very long chapter! I really hope you guys enjoy it. I really loved writing it...though now I have everything set up really...for all the doubts to come into play so...from here on out...were going to get darker. And we know there isn't much time left before the end...**

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><p>Remus laid on the couch with a cold wash rag over his face, his head throbbed uncontrollably and he felt ill. Sirius had tried everything he knew of to make Remus even a slightly bit more comfortable, but nothing seemed to help. So now he laid on the couch wrapped in blankets with a rag on his head and his eyes closed. If he could have found sleep he would have slept. But sleep would not come, instead Remus was faced with the feeling of the wolf inside of his mind pacing full of unused raged.<p>

Harris' temper tantrum still fresh in his mind, he really should have fought back. He should have done something but instead he let the slightly older man shout at him. He really hadn't been in the mood to argue or fight with him, all he really wanted was for him to leave. Which eventually led to Sirius' interference. Which Remus was sure would get back to Laurence and he would hear about it later. But for right now, with his head in Sirius' lap he didn't fucking care. All he wanted was this headache to be over and for him to be back to normal so he could do his job in the order.

"Would you be mad at me if I got in the shower?" Sirius asked softly, doing his best to keep his voice low. Remus chuckled at his attempt before his shook his head. "No go on, I don't mind…just don't take forever. The moon is nearly here."

"You took Wolfsbane your no harm to me."

"Sirius…"

"I'll be quick, calm down. I know you don't want me just showing up after you're a wolf." Sirius placed a kiss on his forehead as he slowly laid Remus' head back down on the pillow, "you just rest and I'll be back."

Once Sirius was out of the room Remus sat up slowly and removed the rag from his head, glancing around he sighed, rubbing between his temples he slowly got up and went to the kitchen sink. Pouring himself a glass of water he leaned against the counter and starred into the glass. His mind blank, yet mulling over details secretly in the depths of his mind.

The magical world was thrown into Chaos with the turn of the year death eater attacks were now more common than not. Anyone who lived within the boundaries of the magical world was on edge while any muggles were ripe for the picking.

It lately had gotten so bad that the minister of magic had but no choice but to involve the prime minister of Great Britain to keep an eye out for strange activity and to never be alone. The world was a dangerous place. Everyone Remus knew from school was either already dead or in danger, or even some were in hiding.

Sirius had even had a conversation with Remus about having a secret keeper just 'for safety precautions.' That let Remus know just how scared Sirius was, normally the unmovable always jumping into the face of danger Sirius Black never trembled as the thought of death. But apparently the loss of others scared him to bits. Sirius had lost much due to this war, his brother due to his trip into the darkness and his father from his grief.

Friends he knew through work and even people he knew from school had been taken and killed or kidnapped and never to be heard from again or even worse. And even Remus hadn't been saved from this he'd been kidnapped…and it had all but shattered Sirius' resolve to be strong. Now he feared every corner he turned around. Not for himself, no Sirius wasn't afraid for himself but for everyone around him.

Finishing his glass of water Remus placed his glass in the sink and walked back towards the couch. He hadn't even had the chance to sit down before a knock came at the door. With thirty minutes to full moon he froze. There was no way he could answer the door. Not a chance in hell would he even attempt to open in.

Lari sensing her owner's hesitation for the door remained silent. Remus eyes were wide and full of worry. Sirius was in the shower not aware of anything as the second round of knocks came to the door, much louder than the first round. Remus' heart raced, he'd give it five minutes for the person to give in and walk away. And apparently the person on the other side of the door waited till five minutes passed before they pounded on the door.

"LUPIN OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

Remus' heart froze in his chest, Laurence was at his door. Twenty five minutes before full moon…this is what he had been dreading all day. Only the night before had he had a nightmare where Laurence in full form would hunt him down. And here he was…Remus' nightmare had come true.

"I KNOW YOUR IN THERE YOU UNGRATEFUL SON OF A BITCH OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I KICK IT DOWN!"

He was angry so angry, Remus was terrified. If he opened the door and let him in, there would be two wolves inside of the flat once the moon came up. Because he knew there was no way Laurence was leaving without him. And traveling while the full moon was so close was dangerous because if they transformed in traveling they'd easily be splinched because Remus knew for a fact the second both wolves clashed there would be a fight.

But if he didn't answer the door in twenty five minutes there would be an uncontrolled werewolf inside of the flat complex. Laurence didn't believe in Wolfsbane, he didn't believe werewolves should have to hide what they were because it was never a choice it was something that you were either born into or it was a choice that was made that never was in your hands to begin with. Because no one chose to be a werewolf. And with an uncontrolled werewolf…there were children just three doors down from Remus and Sirius. And it would be no problem at all for Laurence as a wolf to break down that door…and slaughter them all.

Remus was in-between a rock and a hard place and he needed to think fast. He took to his feet and pushed Lari inside of his office, she was much safer in there with the door being much stronger than that of the bedroom or bathroom. He pulled the bedroom door shut and locked it hoping Sirius would figure it was Remus wanted to be alone for the moon and Sirius would just stay in there, then ushered the two owls out to keep them away from harm.

Remus straightened himself and opened the door. "Go away Laurence."

Laurence starred at him, he had fresh new scars on his face, most likely from last moon. Fighting who knew what, "How dare you great your alpha like that. One should open their door widely and bow before him." Laurence growled, "Especially someone in your state right now. Because this is your only chance at redemption."

Remus bit back a growl before he stepped aside. "You have ten minutes Laurence, this flat is not welcome to you once you transform." Remus shook form anger as he clenched the door knob as Laurence walked in… "Someone who's dating a Black should have much better accommodations that this…does he treated you as poorly as he allows you to live."

"Seeing as he lives here as well, I highly doubt its poor living." Remus growled, "What do you want. The moon is due soon and I will not have you here, where you can harm anyone else." Laurence turned at him. "You'll either be with the pack on this moon or I will be here…tearing you limb from limb teaching you how to respect your alpha."

"I will not have you here where you can harm anyone!" Remus' voice was raised as he slammed the door shut, "You can deal with me next moon but for now you will quickly leave just as you came and let me be!" The wolf inside bubbled under his skin the moon was close too close for him to lose his temper. He needed to stay in control.

"But as I do recall you're a part of MY pack and when you joined you agreed to our terms…now you've missed our moonly gatherings for four or so months…do tell me how I should take this Remus? Is your 'dog' more important than us? Because if it is you can tell Dumbledore my pack is no longer a part of his alliance."

Remus froze on the spot; of course Sirius was much more important than them. That was a no brainer, but they couldn't lose one of the few packs, and the one pack leader that still had power in the werewolf community to keep in contact with those wolves who had joined Voldemort's ranks. This was exactly what Dumbledore was warning him about, Duty to his people or Duty of the heart. And that was now the choice he faced.

"And what if I don't come with you, what will happen?"

"I will stay and show you what it is to be alpha Remus…I must simply do my job."

Remus felt the sizzle on his skin of the full moon as it came over the horizon. "Do your worst then."

The transformation was full of angry shouts which slowly progressed into killer growls and snapping of newly formed wolf jaws. Mid transformation Laurence lunged at Moony, the wolf had already taken control of his mind. And as a wolf receiving punishment Moony he would take it ten fold. He just hopped and prayed Sirius took his normal hour long or so in the shower.

The snapping of jaws and yelps and growls echoed around the small living room, furniture crashed and laid in pieces as the two full grown werewolves raced around the room slashing and fighting with one another. Granted Laurence was full of rage while Moony just was trying to protect himself to stay alive. Right now he was in no place and had no right to put the alpha in his place. Despite the wolf inside of Moony desperate to rip Laurence a new one due to his trespass onto his territory Moony held him back.

But it didn't last long, Moony should have realized that Sirius would hear all the commotion and panic, it was a simple thought. But the worry and panic that came with an uncontrolled werewolf being in a flat full of unarmed people demanded more of his attention.

And when Laurence threw Moony through the bedroom door, Moony knew it was much too late to stop the wolf that now could smell Sirius. With the water off and Sirius standing there wand at the ready and full of adrenaline and fear, the smell was no longer masked by water. Laurence' eyes narrowed in on the black headed boy and lunged for him.

Sirius who was blessed with thinking rather lightly on his feet tossed his wand to the side and as Laurence came down on him was already transformed into Padfoot snapping his doglike jaws into the arms of the full grown werewolf. Laurence gave a mighty howl of a cry before using his free paw to smack Sirius into the wall. And he advanced on him, as Padfoot shook his head under the skin it came down on his causing the black dog to rush away. Another howl of pain reached both Moony's and Padfoot's ears as they scrambled from the room. With the bedroom being so small it would have been all too easy for Laurence to corner them.

Once in the living room Padfoot's eyes went wide…so much damage. The couch and coffee tables were all but destroyed. Half of the kitchen table was touching the ground and the chairs were smashed to pieces. The last time Padfoot had seen so much damage done to a room was in the shrieking shack…and now it all made more sense.

Upon his shock to the room's state Laurence picked Sirius up from behind and threw him, sending him crashing into Moony. Both wolf and dog gave a rather large yelp. And it was at about this time the wolf inside of Moony snapped. He could smell the blood from his mate that now leaked from his injuries due to being thrown and bitten, scratched and who all knew what else Laurence had done while Padfoot was pinned underneath him upon first attack.

Padfoot had only ever fought Moony, and Moony for some odd reason had never been that rough on him. And now with him being marked, the normal werewolf would never harm another mate. It just wasn't done. But Laurence had crossed a line most special to a werewolf's survival and it was time for the mate to defend what was his.

And with a lunge towards Laurence's rather exposed neck Moony clamped down sending the larger wolf into a howl of pain and attempted to scratch Moony from the underside of him. Padfoot then snuck around him to move out of the way, realizing Moony was well out of harms way. But lingering close incase something stepped out of bounds. Plus Padfoot had seen Moony fight before, and if he was in the way…he might get hurt as well.

Laurence took time to eventually cast Moony off of his neck, but he couldn't keep the wolf down long. Laurence had wasted too much energy trying to get to Padfoot, and trying to teach Moony a lesson prior. And Moony had used his environment to his advantage when he had been chased by Laurence to begin with sending the werewolf who had been in a blind rage through a rather rough obstacle course of the living room and dinning room furniture.

Though the fight was not that simple, Moony battled for the upper hand and once he had it Laurence wasn't going down easy. It was a fight to the death and it seemed both werewolves had secretly agreed to the terms. Blood spattered the walls, the floors and whatever else it could land on as the two wolves clashed something fierce.

Teeth and claws were clashing with skin and ripping it into ribbons, all the while Padfoot watched. He honestly tired to look away each time Moony would cry out in pain, but it was just too hard not to watch. It pained him so to know his selfishness had brought it down to this. And here Remus was non violent and just wanted to be normal was fighting his alpha. This was not how it was supposed to go.

The fight carried on both parties slowly growing weak. Hours had pasted by since they both had transformed it was now well after midnight and how no one could hear them crashing and thrashing around was beyond them. But in the end, what sent Laurence to the ground was a final blow to the head, sending him crumbling into the counter top then landing on the floor.

The great werewolf didn't move from where he laid. Moony stood over him, mouth covered in blood and wounds all over his body. To a werewolf when an alpha dies by the hand of another, the winner is to take his place as alpha. And with his head thrown back Moony let out a great howl. For all in the pack to know he had won his place.

Once his head was down he looked over to Padfoot, who's eyes still lay on the slain wolf. Knowing full well when Remus was back tomorrow…he wouldn't know how to handle it. And as Moony drew close, for a second Padfoot scurried away. Causing Moony to freeze and let out a soft cry. Padfoot shook his shaggy black head and walked towards the wolf then motioned him away from the limp body. They would deal with this in the morning but for now. Remus was too far gone in his mind to deal with it. Moony would be here for a while anyway.

Only when the sun rose did Remus leave Sirius' side. He could see it constantly in his head, over and over the fight that played out between the two werewolves. When he stepped out into the living room Sirius was already standing there. The room was cleaned, the body had been removed and it looked back to normal.

"Thank you," Remus whispered causing Sirius to spin around. "You should be in-"

"I couldn't sleep…I needed to see…"

"He's long gone Remus, the fall took him. When he stumbled back, it wasn't your fault." Sirius went to walk forward as Remus backed up. "It was my fault, I fought him I-"

"He came here and fought you, you were simply protecting me." Sirius reached forward and grabbed Remus' wrist as he went to back away. "Don't shy away from me…its ok."

"What did they do with him?" Remus asked head hung low. "They took him to his mate…your going to have a tough time in the pack now…Dumbledore wasn't very happy. But he understood I told him everything…Remus its ok." Remus finally looked at him, "I've never killed a human before…a deer or a rabbit here and there yes…but never…oh Sirius…." he went to fall forward but Sirius caught him and held him. "Moony it's ok, shhh. It's been handled, he came and attacked you. You defended yourself. Nothing is going to happen. It's his fault, not yours." Sirius was already leading him back to bed, and before Remus really knew what was going on he was tucked into bed. "Now you rest…you need it after last night. I'm just in the living room handling papers, ok. Everything will be ok."


	78. Creating Doubts

**...Geeze I love leaving you guys for a week at a time lately. I'm really sorry about that! I hope you all can forgive me. Summer just has been crazy lately. Hopefully as summer comes to a close I can finish this story :) Enjoy!**

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><p>Sirius had been to Peter's flat all of six times, typically the rat always wanted to be either at James and Lily's, or Sirius' and Remus' if they hung out. Or out somewhere in the open, granted Peter was the one who lived the farthest away, he lived closer to his parents which were closer to Buckinghamshire than to London, closer to the outer left ring. Where as James and Lily lived on the southern ring of London towards Surrey and Sirius and Remus lived smack dab in central London.<p>

Sirius always found it rather amusing how Peter lived in such an expensive place where he lived. Granted Peter came from good blood and great wealth. But his parents never were the sort to spend their money such as most purebloods did. They'd always lived in rather cozy and blended well with the common folk. They never made you feel lower than them, like most purebloods. Granted, most families who came from Gryffindor such as the Pettigrew's, Potter's, and Weasley's were humble. Nothing like the Slytherin families Sirius had been around since birth.

It took Sirius knocking four or five times before Peter's round face poked out from behind the door. He had seemed rather flustered and Sirius had gotten the impression he had interrupted something rather important. "Am I interrupting?" Sirius chuckled as he went to push the door open, though Peter held it closed. "Ahhh actually yes Pads you are…err…can you come back later?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow "for one, I thought marauders were a first priority sort of matter, two what's more important than me? Three if it's a bird let me know I'll come back in an hour. Four if it's not a bird tell them it's a family emergency since well…the rest of us would do the same for you."

Peter looked like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, before he ran a hand over his face and stepped out onto the door stoop and looked Sirius over. "Where's Remus? Why are you alone? Did you two have a row…you know Prongs has a couch."

Sirius took a step down from the stairs eyeing his friend carefully, "Look Pete, if your busy and don't want to make time to talk that's cool. I just thought I could come talk to you. Prongs already thinks I'm crazy but whatever." He turned and headed down the steps "See ya around mate."

Sirius grinned once his back was turned, there was no way he couldn't guilt or interest Peter into what he had to say. The rat was sometimes too curious for his own good. "Wait! Just…give me an hour will ya? It's for work and well…you know duty calls." Sirius turned his back and gave his friend a smile, "can do Petey, see you in an hour."

Within the hour Sirius was welcomed inside of Peter's home a warm cup of tea waiting for him, "So am I allowed to ask what you were dealing with?" Sirius asked as he stirred his cup of tea, eyeing his friend who squirmed in his chair. "I take it as it's a need to know basis?"

Peter nodded, "Sorry Padfoot…gotta keep some sorts of secrets, especially since you don't work for the ministry anymore." Peter cringed at his last statement as Sirius glared at him. "Nice going Worm…way to make it obvious I'm not wanted."

"I didn't mean it that way." Peter sighed as he magically stoked the fire, "What did you need anyway Padfoot?" Sirius finished swallowing as he shrugged, "I don't know…it's this business with Remus…I mean I know I'm supposed to be supportive."

"But what? When we were kids we always thought it'd be the coolest thing for Rem to rip someone's throat out. Why is he saying something?" Peter seemed more than interested, and if Sirius didn't know his friend any better he'd think he was plotting. "Not necessary, but it's what he's not saying. He won't talk to me about the werewolves anymore…and I know it's all meant to be a secret you know for the Order but…it's driving me crazy!" Sirius pulled at his hair for emphasis, "I mean hell Pete he runs out at all late hours of the night all they have to do is call and he comes running…He tells me to wait, let everything settle and things will go back to normal but…"

"Have you ever followed him?" It seemed more like a challenge than a question. And Sirius suddenly was all ears, "well…no. I'd like to be able to trust him. We need trust in the war."

"Well if he won't tell you, what stops you from just so happening to be where he is? I mean it never stopped us in school, I bet Prongs would even let you borrow the cloak. Might even go with you if you'd ask him."

"Lils wouldn't let James out of her sight." Sirius muttered darkly, "Not after what happen to the Longbottom's."

"How are Frank and Alice doing anyway? I haven't seen them since before the attack."

"They are fine, the house was destroyed, little Neville is fine too. Frank's arm was burned pretty badly but he was in damn good hands at St. Mungo's. The war's getting bad Pete…it makes me nervous that Rem is out there and could get himself into some deep shit."

"Then follow him Padfoot…and if something doesn't fit right…just…well…" it seemed like Peter was having a rough time. Sirius shook his head, not even letting himself finish his friend's statement. "No, Remus is no traitor…I'd know it."

"Padfoot, how long was your brother a death eater? Before he told you? He never wrote you, if he hadn't shown you in seventh year you'd have never known."

"I had my suspicions." Sirius grumbled, "And Remus isn't Regulus." Peter remained silent for a second before he continued, "Look Sirius…it's not that Remus would betray you but…it's been seen where He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named uses things against people and could sway a nun to be a prostitute if it suited him."

"Dammit Peter say his fucking name! You can't fight a man whose name makes you shit yourself," Sirius growled. A nerve had been struck, weither it was Sirius protecting Remus, or if he himself had doubts he wasn't sure of yet. All he knew was Peter was not the person who needed to be confirming him. "And Remus is no traitor! Because if he was I would know it! If Moony, Prongs or hell even you were a traitor I'd know it!"

Something happened to Peter's face, something Sirius didn't understand as he watched his friend stare at him. "Not that I think you are," Sirius added and his friend calmed down. "Just you know how I hate being in the dark, and Remus has turned the lights out, he's boarded up the windows and put a blanket over the door. And taken my wand and any candles I could even light. Hell I couldn't even light the floor or walls on fire for light if I wanted to."

"So Remus has you sleeping outside in a stone room?"

Sirius slapped his forehead as he gave a heavy sigh, "No Pete…it's a figure of speech…saying he's really got me kept in the dark. In other words-"

"OHHHHH"

"Yea…" Sirius sighed again as he looked up at the mantle clock. "You didn't kick your company out for me to come and chat with you did you…I'd hate to keep them waiting."

"No, no your fine. We finished our chat. Just matters of business, handling dad's shipping company is getting rough. No one wants to be outside of Ministry protection…and they don't want the Order protecting them either. Thus…it creates a problem sometimes." Sirius nodded, sitting alone with Pete had always been an odd sort of situation for Sirius.

He had never felt comfortable with the boy. Something about him always sort of threw him off. James had always teased when they were alone it was his doggy senses tingling. But every time Sirius asked him, James would always say he trusted Peter. 'Who wouldn't trust a Gryffindor?' would always be his response and Sirius always agreed.

Peter had even been distant with the marauders more so when they graduated, and only recently had been started making more time for them. But all the marauders knew his business was tricky and with Pete trying to learn the ropes of such a complex business they were rather surprised that he could finally control it all now. He'd never been the brightest student, and it took him time to get a hold of something. But once he did he tended to at least do an average job with it.

"Sirius I have a-"

"Do you really think I should follow him?" Sirius asked looking at Peter, it had seemed like the best idea, and if he borrowed James' cloak Remus would be none the wiser. "And what were you saying?"

Peter leaned back in his chair and grew quiet for a few moments before nodding, "I think you should. Give yourself a peace of mind. It won't hurt…and if it's full moon just be a dog. And Nevermind what I was saying…it's not important." Peter smiled as he glanced over at the clock on the mantle. The motion didn't go unnoticed by Sirius and with much training from childhood he'd learned anyone who wanted to be kind simply glanced at a clock or mentioned the time to slip away.

"Did you want to come hang out with us at the bar tonight?" Sirius asked as he stood, "Lils has agreed to unhook James from his leash and let him come play." Sirius chuckled as he stretched. "I'll see, mum and dad wanted me to come have dinner tonight. But I'll see if they wouldn't mind."

"Good lad, see you around sevenish, same place as usual."


	79. Peace of Mind

**And now...you shall find out if Sirius follows Remus or not...and if he does...what is he hiding? Next chapter is from Rem's point of view...just a forewarning XD**

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><p>"Rem aren't you going to sit down and watch this with me?" Sirius asked as he looked over at Remus who was leaning against the kitchen counter. The iconic theme song hummed through the speakers of the television as Sirius turned his head around.<p>

One of the few muggle shows Sirius had somehow convinced his father to watch, which ended up in the two of them sneaking a television into Grimmauld place for the two of them to watch it. Doctor Who had long since been in Sirius' blood and when he learned during their second year Remus had watched it as well. The two had bonded immensely because for once the two had something that they could share while James and Peter neither knew nor cared for it.

"You'll actually have to catch me up." Remus sighed as he placed a kiss on Sirius' cheek. "I have to go out." Remus cringed as Sirius groaned. "Dammit Remus you promised me ONE night that NO ONE was going to bother us."

"Well Victoria needs me and since I killed her mate last month I think I owe her-"

"YOU OWE ME! Remus this is the third time this week, you promised me we'd sit down and watch this. It's new and everything! What if he regenerates and I need you!"

"He won't regenerate; they always regenerate at the end of the season. Plus he's been the doctor for years there is no way he'll die. So I'll be back, twenty minutes tops."

"Remus…the show is thirty minutes." Sirius grumbled as he lay back on the couch, "but whatever, go ahead…leave me." Sirius rolled on his side, facing his back to Remus, the familiar sound of the TARDIS grabbing his attention. Remus gave a sigh and with one last look at Sirius and the TV he was gone.

Sirius only laid there for ten or so minutes, unable to focus on the episode. Rubbing his forehead trying to ease the now dull thud of a forming headache due to his temper as Remus yet again walked out on him. It was beginning to become mysterious and frustrating.

"_You could always follow him."_

Sirius shook his head, no he trusted Remus. There was no reason to follow him, and for the third time that week he ignored Peter's words. He'd come back, and then Sirius would yet again press him for answers. Knowing he would never get them. James had made a rather good point that if he followed him it would make Remus think he didn't trust him. And that wasn't the case, he trusted Remus…just not the other werewolves.

Sirius had even yet to meet a single one of Remus' pack other than Harris, and that too had been kept a secret from him. Who knows, maybe if he hadn't walked in on them Remus would have never told him. And that made his gut clench. If Remus was willing to hide that much from his 'lover' what else could he be hiding?

"_Give yourself peace of mind, it won't hurt."_

Sirius looked over at his bag that lay rather innocently on the kitchen chair. Sirius swallowed a lump, he'd borrowed James' clock more than once. And loads of times it was without permission. Its how they were in the dorm what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine (unless it was Remus' chocolate then hands off!). And many times he'd gotten himself nearly caught with it. But he never had once taken it once James told him it was a bad idea.

But beneath the leather flap that held his bag closed the slivery fabric would be lying folded as it had been the afternoon he'd nicked it from James' old trunk. James didn't need it, and if he did he'd know where it was. And he'd scold Sirius…but he knew his friend was being driven nearly mad. And if he never went after Remus…well then it wouldn't hurt.

But what if he did? What if he took the cloak and slipped off into the night? Who would be angrier? Sirius sighed of course he knew who would be angrier. Remus without a doubt granted he'd be more hurt than angry. And Sirius wouldn't blame him, but Sirius was feeling left out and unwanted. And anyone who's ever had the pleasure of owning a dog knows that leaving them unattending and wanting your attention always ended badly. And Sirius wasn't a large black dog for nothing.

Already the episode was half way through and he couldn't tell you anything that had happened since it began. He stood up and stretched, Lari was peeking at him from on top of the bed, already knowing what he was about to do and gave him a displeased grunt.

"Oh hush! I'll be fine he'll never know I was there!" Another grunt, Sirius snorted as he flipped open his old school bag and ran his fingers over the silvery fabric. "I didn't mean to steal it Prongs…but blame Moony he's driving me crazy." He muttered as he pulled the cloak over his shoulders, "I promise I'll take good care of it."

And in his inner eye deep in his mind he could see James standing there glaring at him for stealing his things. He could see his disapproving shake of the head, as he had done when Sirius had confronted him about being suspicious in the first place. "But Moony is no traitor and you know that! Blimey Padfoot what's gotten into you?"

"Just…he won't hang around me anymore he's always busy."

"He's a grown man! And he has a rather important job you know...he never was like this when YOU ran off."

"I worked for the Ministry! He runs off with werewolves that's completely different." And James had then shook his head and told him he was crazy and that he needed some sleep. Maybe even a good roll in the sack would clear his delusional mind. Then after seeing Peter and having him back him up. Sirius had returned to the Potter's and told James he was being crazy and that James was right. And while he ran around the house chasing a baby Harry while James and Lily ran a few errands, he'd collided with James old trunk…and the thought had hit him.

And now here he was wandering the streets of London under the invisibility cloak, trusting his doglike sense of smell to guide him in Remus' general direction. And lady luck had been in his favor; it hadn't rained for the past two days and above him glittered a half moon with not a single cloud in sight. Making it that much easier to follow Remus' trail.

It would have been much easier to case a homing charm, and follow it. Or even use the old map and a crystal technique. But Sirius was rather nervous that if he attempted either that Remus would somehow know what he was up to. And the last thing Sirius wanted was to get caught.

He was nearly about to give up when he finally caught a strong scent of Remus. If he had been in his animagius' body his tail would have wagged a mile a minute, and his tongue would have been halfway out of his mouth. But instead he walked slowly down the cracked pavement of The Thorns. Sirius had been here once before, when Remus had gone missing and he was on the hunt for Remus.

And the place was even scarier in the dark, cracked widows gave an eerie glow as candles glowed from within tattered and torn rooms. And those who were less fortunate to own one of the run down row houses simply laid out in lean to's out of cardboard boxes or tarps or whatever else was handy.

The lights that flickered down the road were dim and seemed to be on their last legs, covered in rust and most leaning to one side, flickered and hissed as the oil they ran on slowly ran out. Sirius hoped he could get to Remus and back before any of the lights flickered out. Because this was the last place Sirius wanted to be in the dark. Especially with the dark times the world was in.

He knew it was bad of him to cringe or feel nervous around those who obviously had less than him. Who he knew for a fact depended on the common man to have a heart and drop a sickle or five pence into the cup they held out. And a lot of the men out on the streets fought in world war two, weither they be muggle or wizard like. But with the dark times, like most people anything that was different than what they were, was scary and strange.

The streets reeked of smells Sirius didn't dare linger to figure out. Baby's cries echoed softly through the narrow and winding road. Sirius couldn't help but feel sorry for them, to grow up here when he had grown us so privileged. He could hear shouting as well, probably some bloke shouting at his unfortunate lover. He could hear the sounds of drunkards stumbling, could smell the smoke of druggies. His body cringed who would want this hell?

Though some merely just had no place to go and Sirius had once heard after he'd run away from home that if you needed a place to be kept safe it was the Thorns. They never turned away one of their kind. No matter who or what you were. But any stranger…you best beware because when you have nothing, nothing holds you back.

It took Sirius longer than he'd like to find Remus and the deeper he walked into the Thorns the more concerned and curious he got. Eventually he came to a T in the road; barley lit two of the street corner lights had already lost their will to live. While one simply needed oil, while the other lay on the ground to weak to fight any longer.

Just as he was about to give up his search and call it karma talking, he heard it. Remus' soft whispering voice. Sirius whirled around and followed the sound like it was water in a desert. Craving the man's attention and excited to give his nagging curiosity a rest. But once he got closer he slowed down, walking as quietly as he could. He stood maybe ten feet away, and watched Remus talk to a woman. Both of them were covered in thick cloaks purposely hiding their appearance. And if Sirius hadn't known Remus' voice he would have easily walked right by. But the woman confused him, who was she and why on earth was she talking to Remus?

He strained to listen, hoping he could catch what they were talking about and head home before Remus knew he was here.

"We think its tonight." She whispered to Remus grabbing his hands, "He should be here anytime."

"Yes, I'm well aware. I know how it works. Is she alright…is she prepared for this?"

"Do you think she is?! Who would be in her situation Remus?" The woman snapped at him, it was then when Sirius caught sight of her rather unnatural white teeth. He shuddered, no person alive should have teeth that white…it made her look dangerous. "Well I have to ask…this is my pack now and I would prefer my members stay as healthy as they can." Remus snapped back.

"Yes well, I only called you because you are the alpha…I figured you should know." She gave a heavy sigh and looked up towards one of the eerie windows that was almost lit ablaze by the light inside. "I understand your nervous Victoria, hell I am as well. I mean…this is big for the pack. And we need it now more than ever, I just…" Remus stopped and glanced around before turning his attention back to the woman.

Sirius felt a knot form in his gut, who was coming and why was Remus nervous. 'He's not a traitor, he's not a traitor.' Sirius whispered over and over in his head, but each time he said it, as he listened on the conversation the knot in his gut tightened.

A cry of pain echoed through the weak walls of the houses, and Remus and whom Sirius guessed was Victoria glanced up towards the window. "I must go…return home, before your dog worries. I will write when it's over."

Sirius quickly turned his heel and headed home at a brisk walk. He kept the cloak tightly wrapped around him as he walked forward ignoring everything. His mind and heart racing, who was coming and what was going on. Damn Peter and his ideas…this did nothing but make him worry more…and less certain of a certain werewolf.


	80. Trust Me

**Sorry this chapter is so late! My muse just wouldn't come...it had some hard parts that I sort of got stuck in. But I hope you guys like the chapter.**

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><p>The hollow pop of apparition echoed off of the cracked pavement and walls of the Thorns. Remus glanced up at the street sigh and sighed, "Thorned Hollow Drive". He pulled his clock tighter around him as he slowly made his way down the road. He kept his head low and avoided all contact, it was early evening so those who did work either were beginning to leave for late night shifts or were slowly crawling home from a long day.<p>

Remus would take his long walk down to what residences of the Thorns called "Werewolf Corner" where wolves from all packs would reside. When Remus had first joined the pack they had approached him about living in the same little corner. And he had quickly declined, not only because he had recently moved in with Sirius. But also because Remus wanted to be a normal human being…those in the pack would have shouted their pride for being a werewolf from the rooftops if it didn't get them shot at.

He'd long ago learned not to glance at the houses, their cracked windows, missing singles and worn down paint, would only depress him. This was his future if he fell from graces with his friends and lover. This is how werewolves lived if they had no one to love and support them. Making this walk every time he was called made him that more grateful for James and Sirius. Nothing like a smack to the face with reality will show you just how dreamy your life is.

The grumble of one of the lamp lighters caused Remus to pause and glance up, that was the fourth light this month to go out. The lights on this street had to be kept on; this was blood bay, where anyone who wasn't walking in the light could easily lose their life…or become a vampire depending upon the merciful your attacker was. He continued to walk only two streets left before he was in the right place.

He did his best to ignore Sirius' words, he really did. It wasn't like he enjoyed coming down here and leaving Sirius alone for sometimes hours if not days. Which lately it had become overnight things. The pack was about to have a large decision thrown upon them.

One of their youngest wolves, Lauren, had been with a man, a muggle man for that matter. And had gotten pregnant. He knew of her nature and knew what she was and still was with her. And was more than excited for the baby that would bind them together. But…the rest of the werewolves were less reluctant. Their pride blurred their vision of love. And Remus had gotten to know Lauren and understood exactly how things were for her. And now, with her showing signs of labor, he'd been called to come see her.

There was a beautiful half moon hanging in the sky, and if it wasn't for his curse Remus would have enjoyed it more. But instead the moon merely was a count down, a count down to when he would be a monster.

"There you are!" A voice pulled him from this thoughts and he stopped dead in his tracks. "Trying to walk right by us are we?" A woman's dark laughter sent shivers up his spine. "Victoria" Remus sighed, "Sorry my mind was in other places."

"Oh, somewhere more important that a new pup?"

"I'm hoping it won't be."

"Well the rest of the pack is…you know were one member short." Remus whirled around and walked towards her, "Do you know what that would do to Lauren…to her boyfriend? They both would be crushed no parent should WANT their child to have to go through that." Remus snapped, glaring at her. She was dressed in a dark heavy cloak hiding her face. Her black hair framed her face from underneath her hood, and her bright gold eyes glaring back at him.

He looked up into the window that flickered with candle light, he frowned deeply. "Is he here?" The woman nodded as she looked back up to the window. "Yes he is, he walked down here with her…bloke really has a death wish to come down here."

"Any good man would want to be around when his baby is born," Remus gave her a weak smile. "We think its tonight."

"Yes, I'm well aware. I know how it works. Is she alright…is she prepared for this?"

"Do you think she is?! Who would be in her situation Remus?" Victoria snapped at him, her hands knotted in fists. "Well I have to ask…this is my pack now and I would prefer my members stay as healthy as they can." Remus snapped back, their delicate hearing could hear her whimper in pain, contractions must be getting closer together.

"Yes well, I only called you because you are the alpha…I figured you should know." She gave a heavy sigh as she looked back up. She was very unaware of Remus and Lauren's relationship and she didn't know that Lauren had contacted him much before Victoria had. "I understand your nervous Victoria, hell I am as well. I mean…this is big for the pack. And we need it now more than ever, I just…I don't like it."

A cry of pain echoed through the weak walls of the houses, and Remus and Victoria glanced up towards the window. "I must go…return home, before your dog worries. I will write when it's over." Remus nodded before he glanced back, what was that noise? It sounded so familiar…and he frowned, he wouldn't do that would he?

"I'll come in and see her a second…I need to see her." Remus looked up the pathway; he waited for any sign to give it away. But he was pulled towards the door, "Well come in then. And be quick…alpha's need to be away once she starts having the baby…"

Remus nodded, the less people in the room when she started to have the baby the better it would be incase of an emergency. Stepping inside the house brought back many memories of the shrieking shack. The

steps groaned and creaked as he walked upon them. The walls had deep gashes in them due to claw markings. Furniture was tattern and torn from use and from having to face transformation. He gave a deep frown this is what his flat would look like without Wolfsbane and leaving with the pack.

Another cry came from the door farthest from the stairs and with shaky hands he walked forward and turned the door knob. There lay Lauren panting heavily with her legs spread eagle. Her boyfriend, whose name escaped Remus, sat there beside her holding her hand. Both of their sets of knuckles were white from holding each other.

"Remus," she breathed looking up at him with a weak smile. "How are you?"

Remus smiled down at her and wiped her sweat soaked hair from her brow, "I'm doing just fine." He sat down at her bedside and smiled up at the man who now gave him a dark look. "No worries mate…I have a lover back home. No need to be territorial." And easily the man's face lightened back up.

"Sorry just…it's hard for me you know," his thick welsh accent almost made it hard for Remus to understand him. "Not being a werewolf and all let alone a wizard. I know you all keep your traditions very secret…so it's hard to watch her leave at times. To know how dangerous the wizarding world is right now." Lauren gave his hand a squeeze. He looked back at her and smiled. It made Remus' gut knot to see them smiling and happy. Is that how Sirius felt when he ran off, when he kept secrets from him? And he thought back to the sound he heard, Sirius had followed him under the invisibility cloak. It knew it good and well, he also knew that he shouldn't be angry but…half of him thought it was because he didn't trust him.

Remus took a deep breath now was not the time to think about why Sirius followed him. "I can't stay long…I must get back home. I promised my lover I wouldn't be long."

"Sirius can wait…he'll be fine."

"He?" Remus cringed as Lauren giggled, "yes dear, Remus likes boys…its ok calm down." She patted his hand before she dug her nails into his hand and let out yet another cry of pain.

"Ooh here we go!" One of the midwives' called; she had a smile on her face. Remus gave her free hand a tight squeeze. "I'll come see you in a few days, see how you all and the new baby are doing." He gave her a wide smile, she was a strong young woman, and he knew everything would be ok.

She gave him a smile as yet another wave of contractions rushed over her. Remus placed a soft kiss on her forehead gave them all a nod goodbye and quickly exited the room. Once outside the soft rumble of thunder could be heard in the distance, he sighed. Of course a thunderstorm would come through when a confrontation awaited him at home.

He walked home with his head hung low his mind reeling about just what would have possessed Sirius to do something so stupid as to follow him. His conscious told him it was simply his curiosity that got the better of him to finally follow him.

But something deep in the back of his mind made him worry…what if Sirius had darker intentions…what if? Remus shook his head roughly Sirius was no traitor, he just was lonely and missed Remus around that was all this was for. Or at least…all he hoped it was for. His heart was heavy and a tight knot formed in his gut. He would pretend he didn't know, he'd pretend it never happened.

Remus slowly opened the door and looked around; Sirius was sitting in his office reading over some papers. Remus sighed, "I'm home…how was the show?"

"Terrific as usual." Sirius smiled up at him. "What was it about?" Remus asked not missing a beat. Sirius eyed him curiously, "the normal, the doctor comes in, aliens show up he gets rid of them...the norm." Remus nodded as he slid his cloak off of his shoulders and wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck.

"You know I love you right?"

Sirius looked back at him, trying his best to read his lover. "Yes…and you know I love you too right?" Remus nodded before giving him a kiss. "And you know you can trust me…right."

"What's wrong Remus?"

"Why did you follow me?" The words came out before Remus could even think of stopping them, and Sirius mouth hung open. He starred at him for a few minutes as a crack of thunder ripped through the sky. Remus gulped, here came the storm.


	81. Love And Trust

**UGH I'm sorry this chapter is late guys, my sister's birthday was on the eleventh, and we had company over so I was very busy. I tried to post it on Friday when it was supposed to be posted but I just never got a chance. Enjoy!**

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><p>Sirius starred at him, his silver eyes analyzing Remus' gold ones until he could no longer focus. Minutes had passed by as Sirius looked at him. "I…I didn't follow you!" Remus looked none too convinced, Sirius gulped as he rubbed the back of his neck. He'd been caught…he should have listened to James.<p>

"L-look Moony it was just-"

"Padfoot you could have gotten KILLED!" Remus snapped, his eyes flickered, and "I mean what if it had been a raid or something…"

"What was it about anyway?" Sirius asked eyeing him, "who's coming…what's all this leaving me constantly."

"That's none of your concern!" Remus snapped, "And even if it was the hell if I would tell you now! You can't even TRUST me Sirius, how am I to trust you…for all I know…"

"Don't you DARE accuse me of being a traitor Remus Lupin, you and I both-"

"I thought you knew me better Sirius….apparently I was wrong, if you had to follow me…what does that say about you?" Remus turned and faced him. His eyes told Sirius of the hurt and betrayal but the way he stood there starring at Sirius spoke of anger and Sirius swallowed. It was hard to enrage Remus, it really was but there he stood furious at him. "Remus I-"

"No don't speak to me…not till you learn to trust me." Remus walked out of the office, his typical light and quiet walking now echoed in Sirius' ears. He watched him as he walked into the kitchen grabbed a drink and leaned against the counter starring out the window.

He shouldn't feel guilty, Remus wasn't telling him anything! How was he supposed to trust him? Sirius stood up and walked over to him. "How can I learn to fucking trust you if you won't tell me!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL YOU SIRIUS!" Remus shouted as he whirled around to face him. "Because apparently you can't just trust me how many years of friendship, of our relationship do you need as proof to trust me Padfoot!? You broke the law for me! You…you stayed with me…" Remus voice slowly went quiet until Sirius could no longer hear him. His head was hung low and Sirius could hear him sniffle once or twice, "You've given me reason not to trust you…a guilty man won't trust someone-"

"Remus I haven't done anything what do I not tell you?!' Sirius held out his hands, "Name one time, name one thing I've done…"

Remus looked up at Sirius searching his eyes, "If that's your argument then name one time I've done anything that would give you reason not to trust me." His voice was soft and solemn; Sirius swallowed hard his only excuse was something Remus had no control over. "That's what I thought." Remus whispered, "You told me…when you found out that would never sway you-"

"It doesn't!" Sirius interrupted. "It's not you I don't trust…it's the rest of them Remus, I just…"

"Are selfish and want me around twenty four seven. Sirius, when you used to leave for missions or be late in from work. I never ever once thought you were off doing something, even when sometimes your stories didn't add up or others told me you might be changing sides I never once didn't trust you. And here you are taking Prongs cloak; does he not trust me either?"

"No…" Sirius swallowed, "I sorta…borrowed it."

"Borrowed as in-" Remus didn't need to finish, he shook his head and shoved past Sirius. "WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO FOLLOW ME THEN?!"

"Pete's" Sirius whispered, he felt three inches tall. "PETER YOU TRUSTED PETER OVER PRONGS?!" Remus starred at him "Have you lost your mind?! You know they are already in hiding and you take the ONE thing they might need because PETER put the bloody idea into your head!"

"I had the idea before Peter said anything-"

"SO YOU ALREADY PLANNED TO FOLLOW ME!"

"No…James talked me out of it for a while…then Pete was on my side he-" Sirius stopped as he hung his head. "Remus I'm sorry."

"Your not sorry…you're never sorry. You do whatever you want to because the second an idea enters your head you have to do it. And how much trouble has that gotten you in, in the past? Hmm shall I point out some times? Some times that typically involved me."

"You forgave me for that! I was a kid Remus I was-"

"Are you a child now Sirius?! Do you know what could happen to me or fuck Sirius-" Remus felt himself fall into one of the kitchen chairs and rub his face, "or what could have happened to you, still could if someone figures out you followed me? Werewolf traditions are sacred; it's my job as Alpha to uphold them. I already and bending the rules to be with you…"

"Then why are you still here if it's so fucking important." Sirius felt his backbone grow as he glared at Remus, "And I can handle my own thank you!"

"I stay because I love you."

Sirius felt his backbone slowly fade away again; he looked down at Remus who had his head in his hands. It took a lot to swallow his heart back down his throat as he looked down at him. "Remus I-"

"Just leave it…" Remus didn't look up, "I left because one of the wolves in the pack is having a baby. It's a baby with a muggle and I wanted to make sure they were ok…that's where I keep going. To check on her like any good alpha does." Remus looked up at him, "Are you happy?"

Sirius should feel happy he had answers, "Is that all of where you've been?"

"I've been to a few meetings with other wolf packs, ones who haven't chosen a side yet. It's a lot of hard work."

Sirius still felt terrible, his gut was tied in knots "I didn't want to find out like this…I just wanted to be a part-"

"You don't understand Sirius," Remus stood to his feet, "You're not SUPPOSED to know. It's called a trial of trust; it's what YOU have to pass. It's a werewolf thing it's a test for our mates…you have to trust us…because of what we are. It's a test for those who aren't wolves because of what we can do. I thought this would be easy for you…I thought you trusted me."

"I DO REMUS!"

"No Sirius…you don't."

Sirius didn't know how long he stood there starring; he could hear Big Ben in the distance go off chiming in midnight. And even after that, he still stood there, and when he came out of his daze, he had no idea how he'd managed to find himself in the living room, with the TV sitting on the couch. His head throbbed and he could hear Remus in the bedroom tossing and turning.

Remus eventually crawled out of bed, it was well after two. And he hadn't even managed a wink of sleep. Instead, his mind twisted and turned causing him doubt every which way he went. He should have known Sirius would get antsy and follow him. He knew it was coming. However, he had every right to be angry, Sirius didn't trust him. No, that's not what he said. He said he didn't trust the other wolves. Then why follow him? Why not follow another wolf? Easy because Sirius lied.

Remus sat up in bed and rubbed his face, this wasn't happening! The war, all the stress and the fear was eating away at them. Sirius wouldn't lie not about something like that. He wouldn't stand there and lie to Remus' face not when the accusations were so high.

"Sirius…are you going to come to bed?" Remus asked as he finally made it to the doorway, silencing the fight inside of his head. Sirius looked up at him and shrugged, "Do you want me to?"

"Would I ask if I didn't…I don't want to fight anymore. I just…I want you to trust me."

"I do Moony…" Sirius turned to face him, "I just I was scared, I worry about you." Remus gave him a weak smile. "Then come to bed Sirius."

Remus had already turned his back when he heard the TV pop off. Sirius was at his heels and once the two climbed into bed Sirius gave him a firm kiss on the lips. "Does that mean I am forgiven?" Remus sighed as he nuzzled close to Sirius, "yes, your forgiven…just…don't do it again. And take the cloak back to James don't hide it…admit it."

"But…he's skin me."

"You deserve it."

Remus heard him chuckle as he yawned, "I love you…you idiot." Sirius smiled and placed a kiss on the top of his head. "I love you too Moony…I really am sorry."

"I know, Good night Pads."

"Night Moon."

With the click of the bedroom, light both boys laid there in the darkness, listening to the other breath. Neither would admit aloud that now; the trust the two had that they both thought was unbreakable now seemed much more fragile than they thought.

But what they didn't know was deep down a seed had been planted, and slowly it would begin to grow.


	82. Odd Feelings

** I rewrote this chapter a few times. And still I'm not quite happy with it, granted I like this version much more than the others I wrote but. It's just one of those chapters where I just couldn't get the right feel for it...but I did write a plot twist I didn't see coming so...we'll see how that turns out. I also did my best to write you guys some back story, sorta rambled a bit but I hope it flows nicely :). **

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><p>Remus ran his hands through his hair as he looked out the window of the flat. It had been a week since Sirius had followed him, and honestly it shouldn't bother him like it did. It was nothing, honestly. He knew Sirius would one day follow him; there was no getting around it. Sirius wasn't the kind of man who could ignore something that nagged him. And being kept in the dark was something Sirius couldn't stand. It would drive him crazy if he didn't know what was going on. And that's what Remus had done; he'd pushed him to his limits and took it into his own hands.<p>

Granted no one knew Sirius had followed him, at least of the wolves. And nothing bad had happened, everyone was safe. Sirius had been rather down in the mouth once he had gained enough courage to tell James what he'd done. From what Remus had heard it had nearly turned into a brawl. Sirius should have known better than to cross James when he was a lose cannon. It just wasn't smart to double cross him like that.

James had been on a wire for the past few months, the Longbottom's now were in hiding, rumors were running through the wizarding world like a wild fire. The rumors were nothing but that but the darkness surrounding them, had everyone on edge, holding on to whatever they could grab onto and clung to it for dear life.

The rumors were painted black; too many traitors were hidden under masks now. Big names and wealthy people. Not enough of the larger players in Voldemort's game were behind bars. It was the small, worthless and simply too stupid to stay hidden that were caught. You couldn't trust anyone anymore; more people went missing or dead by the day.

Raids happened less and less though; now it was simply don't be out alone after dark. You had to watch your back if you were out after sunset. And if you might be worth something…well you just weren't ever safe. Order members had taken to trailing those important. Anyone they could try and keep safe they did. But nothing was helping; the wizarding world just kept falling. And soon it would hit the ground. Weither it bounced back or crashed into a million pieces was a different story.

It was another quiet day in the flat; Sirius was out doing another trailing session and wouldn't be back till after the American and British wizardry ambassador's met. The one thing on everyone's mind was who was next?

Germany and its neighboring nations were well taken by Voldemort's antics that's where he'd gained so much power. Most people figured North America, especially the United States, were next. If Voldemort could get a hold of all of those world powers, anyone else who attempted to stand up to him wouldn't last two hours on a battle field. But for now Voldemort's tyrant behavior was only in Europe and even the Minister of Magic was hell-bent on keeping it that way. No one wanted this to break into a world war, not only had the world recently gotten over one. But the ratio to wizards to muggles was a large one. 3:1 was the ratio, and it was higher in other places, there were too many people who would be unarmed and unaware if war broke out.

The click of the lock brought Remus out of his brooding as he snapped his head around, hand flying towards his wand. No one was supposed to be here today; Sirius had left early and wouldn't be back till late at night or early morning. His wand hand only went slack when Harris opened the door and held his hands up. "It's me Remus, calm down; you'll poke someone's eye out."

"A normal human being knocks."

"I'm not normal," Harris chuckled as he walked inside. "I felt the angst signal go off and I figured I'd come and make sure your ok. Victoria tells me you've been rather…how did she put it, distracted." Harris plopped down on the couch and opened up the butterbeer he had brought with him and propped his feet up on the coffee table. "Care to talk about it?"

"Yea, no issues make yourself comfortable." Remus grumbled as he nudged Harris' feet off of the coffee table, he ignored Harris' grunt as he sat down in the arm chair across from him. "And it's nothing really, just…the war. Being an alpha makes it more stressful. My friends are in the middle of this war…one's being chased. The other thinks his whole family might be involved."

"Yes…I've heard about the Black's being involved. How does Sirius take it?"

"He's always been the Black sheep; the only people he really ever cared about are dead or out of the family. The only one that's alive that he cares about is his cousin Andromeda and her family. But they've long been out of the family, and no one's gone after them. So he takes it like any normal human."

"And how's that?"

"He doesn't connect with them; he merely has the same last name as them. Nothing more." Remus eyed him, "And I know what your getting at, so don't even think about it." Harris shrugged, "I wasn't gonna say anything. But families tend to work like a pack…and you typically follow your pack."

"Sirius is a loner in wolf terms so…I think we're safe." Remus snorted, granted he'd never admit that thirty minutes ago he wondered himself if Sirius was capable of being a traitor. He surely had the means and was rather a good person to have on either side. And with how good Sirius was with secrets you wouldn't know it until he'd shown you his hand. Sirius was a good poker player, and he had one hell of a poker face.

He must have zoned out for a few moments because when he came back down to earth he saw Harris eyeing him as he snapped his fingers. "What?"

"I asked you where he was anyway, your dog that is?"

Remus titled his head, "Why do you call him a dog anyway?" Remus had never once mentioned Sirius' animagus form let alone him being an animagus in general. Harris shrugged, "because you're a werewolf and well…he's a normal wizard, so he's gotta be some sort of canine right?" Remus tried his best not to laugh. "And he can't be something wild."

"Ahhh but he is," Remus laughed "Sirius is a hell of an animal."

"I don't mean in the bedroom," Harris gagged. "If I wanted to know about your sex life I'd take you to my own bed. I have no interest in your mutt. And why we call him a dog is because wolfs only mate with other canines…thus, he's a dog."

Remus ignored the fact that Harris had basically invited him to his bed, Harris had once in a rather drunken state confessed to Remus that he could rile Harris up with just a simple thought. Remus had made very good on keeping that bit a secret. Because if Sirius was even to catch a whiff of that, he might put Harris through a brick wall. And Remus didn't doubt that Sirius would make sure Harris never set eyes on Remus.

Sirius wasn't the easiest person to make jealous unless you started to take your attention from him. And then he got crazy, which the more Remus thought about Sirius following him, started to make more sense. Because when Sirius got jealous and he went crazy he'd do just about anything. Even if it took him throwing himself off the astronomy tower.

Which Sirius had done in fifth year when Remus refused to forgive him after Snape followed him. And when Sirius had woken up in the hospital win and Remus was there he couldn't have been happier. Of course Remus had waited until he was out of the hospital wing to severely kick his ass for scaring him and trying to kill himself. But it had taken Sirius all of five minutes curled up against Remus asking for forgiveness that Remus gave in and forgave his best friend. James had teased them that, that moment should have been both of their clues that they were in love with one another.

"If you keep zoning out on me Lupin!" Harris tossed a throw pillow at Remus causing the wolf to jump. "I swear…focus I was talking about what you need to do for your meeting with the south and west pack. You NEED to focus, the leader of the west pack Niles is rather angry with you for killing Laurence…they had agreements and with you killing him they are void. Granted Laruen is happy but…" Harris shook his head, "Never the less, you need to pay attention, this meeting is in a few days."

Remus rubbed his face as he tried to focus; thinking back of his school years was terrible. He could lay around all day and reminisce…maybe that was what was wrong? And it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"When's Valentine's day?"

Harris blinked at him looking at him like he'd grown two heads. "Excuse me?"

"Valentine's day, ya know the day couples celebrate being in love."

"I know WHAT it is; I mean why are you asking me?! And why are you chan-"

"Because I have more important matters than a meeting that you have reviewed with me a million times PLUS I have gone over all the reports you've let me read of past meetings. I can handle this, I aced school and this meeting is no different, now if you'll excuse me."

"Now hold it right there Mr. My lover is more important than my pack, but…you have a job and you sleeping with Sirius can wait!"

"Don't be jealous," Remus grinned, his blocked mind started to flood with ideas and memories. This world, this war had done terrible things to his personal reactions to things as well as place a strain on his and Sirius relationship. "Victoria said I was distracted right," Harris nodded, "then I know what's got me distracted! Now go do something fun…I need to do some planning."

Harris watched Remus with the most confused look on his face as something he'd never seen take over Remus, "you better be careful mate…or Sirius is gonna think something is going on."

Remus shrugged, "I need to remind him of who we are. Maybe he won't follow me again."

"He what?"

"Oops…"

"Sirius followed you?! WHY?!"

So much for no one knowing, "he followed me when Charles was born, well the night before. I'm driving him crazy with all of these secrets." Harris was quiet, too quiet. "What?" Remus looked him over as a shiver ran down his body. He watched as a sort of sly smile slipped on his lips. "H-Harris?"

Harris shook his head, "Hmm, oh sorry just…well you might wanna set him straight." Harris was standing now; alarms went off in Remus' head. Something was wrong, he needed to stop Harris. But the man gave him a happy smile and waved. "Have fun planning your Valentine's Day." And with that he popped away, Remus felt something churn in his gut. But he ignored it and turned his mind back to Valentine's Day. Something much happier to think about.


	83. Valentine's Day

**Ya know that really sweet part in romantic movies where you think everything is gonna work out and it's gonna end there and be beautiful…and then ten seconds later something happens and they fall apart…yea…that's happening right now. There is a part two to this…but don't worry it's happy. (Err...mostly)**

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><p>February fourteen, Sirius loved Valentine's Day. It gave him one hell of an excuse in school to flirt around and just enjoy the company of the ladies. And after he and Remus had started dating it had been his excuse to spoil his lover rotten. And not just with chocolates, but when he walked into an empty flat his heart sunk. Remus really wouldn't ditch him on Valentine's day? Remus had spoken about a meeting, it wasn't tonight was it?<p>

Full moon was in a week so it wasn't that. There was no note on the counter telling him that Remus was gone. Everything was left in order, so Sirius ruled out fowl play. He sat down on the couch and grumbled, another lonely night. Tenebris was even gone with Shilling, and Sirius groaned even the owls were out on Valentine's day!

He lay down on the couch as something stabbed him in the chest, rolling over he pulled a book out from under him. He glared at it, how dare Remus lay a book in his way! He went to chuck the book before the moving photo on the front cover caused him to pause. It was a photo from first year, when they all were on the platform at the end of the year. Mr. Potter had taken it, Sirius smiled as he remembered. He ran his fingers over the gold lettering that read:

_Memory Lane_

Sirius eyed the book as he sat up on the couch; he'd never seen it before. And he didn't know Remus scrap booked either. Looking around the flat he slowly opened the book.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Today is Valentine's day 1981, you're still sound asleep beside me as I right it. And I can't even fathom how we got here. It's been four years since we graduated Hogwarts. And these four years have been hard on us both. And I'm scared that this war is going to rip us apart. _There was a large smear of ink and Sirius started to remember hearing Remus grumble earlier that morning. _Great…NOW you move…ugh this is your letter you can deal with it. Anyway where was I…oh right…my fears. Lately our fights have been all about trust…and it's started to affect us in more ways then one could even mention. And I just wanted to say I love you, and I want this letter to be the start of showing it to you. Yes…this is going to be a start. This book is full of memories for you to follow. I know we're not at Hogwarts for you to actually follow them. But I figured out a way to bring them back. I've made this on and off for the past week while you were busy doing whatever you were or when I had a spare moment out of a mission. This is made with all of my love, all of my memories. The pages are scattered around, but I'll give you the first page._

_So…flip the page and let's begin._

_~Remus. L_

Sirius read the letter over and over a few times not quite sure if he really wanted to turn the page. Really all he wanted was Remus there beside him. But knowing that Remus probably was out doing something, he probably had even timed it right so Sirius would have it all read before he came home. That would be Remus, to leave long enough for Sirius to get over his emotions and then when Remus would walk in the door to be ravished by Sirius.

With a quiet chuckle Sirius flipped the page, only one way to find out what Remus was up to. He flipped the page and grinned at the picture that was sitting on the page, sprawled on the floor was Peter, while he, James and Sirius were sitting on his old bed playing what Sirius remembered as strip poker. Sirius was the only one with a shirt on in the picture.

_The date is March tenth, 1971 my birthday. It's not the strongest memory I'm sure, seeing as this was probably one of the first nights I'd ever been drunk. Do you remember? _Sirius had to shrug, it'd been years since he'd let himself travel down that far down memory lane. Too many things had changed since then. _Well, here let me remind you. You had smuggled the 'good stuff' as you'd quoted from your father's liquor cabinet, over holiday, for a special occasion. Which if it was really for my birthday I'll never know. But I remember that glass of fire whiskey burning like a bitch as it ran down my throat. It didn't take many drinks for the night to start to get fuzzy. But I can remember waking up that morning. Me you and Prongs curled up in your bed, Pete was down by the foot board, hell can you believe at one time four of us fit on a Hogwarts bed?! But I can remember waking up the lot of us stark ass naked and you had chocolate smears all over you. And the full moon was so close…I remember you waking up looking down at me still hung over licking the chocolate off your arm. _Sirius could see Remus in his inner mind looking up at him with those oh so innocent eyes like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He wondered if Remus had smiled as he remembered the memory like Sirius was now. _Your laughter woke up James and Peter; I think it might have been right then that I started to fall for you. Just the pure love and happiness in your laughter…_

_Your next page is hidden in the room where we do more than just laugh ;)_

_~R. Lupin_

Sirius eyed the different signature and tilted his head, but eventually shrugged it off. He walked towards the bedroom holding the rather impressive map to the scavenger hunt he was sure he was about to embark on under his arm. He gave the room a quick scan and smiled as his eyes landed on the page he was sure would lead him down memory lane and another page.

The picture at the top of the page was of the black lake, it was a simple landscape shot that was until what looked like a snitch zoomed through the shot.

_Ohhh look! You found the second page! I'm so proud, now there should be a chocolate bar hidden under this page. It might not be there…because you know me. _Sirius looked around where the page had been and grabbed the chocolate bar and snorted it was half eaten. _Now you have to bring this with you, each page has a key ingredient that you simply cannot just 'Accio' towards you. Yes I knew that'd be your plan so I am one step ahead of you. Anyway let's see, this picture was rather hard to date. But I can recall a memory that takes place here._

_It's June twelfth, 1971, we had an hour before the train ride home. And none of us were really excited about heading home. Especially you, I can remember how upset you were. Wouldn't even eat breakfast, and that was odd for you. James had told me to just let you be, we all knew how you were about your family. But I just couldn't. I walked down to the lake; I knew you'd be there. And you were knees up to your chest and looking out over the lake. It was such a sad picture, the great Sirius Black sitting there lost and alone in the world. _Sirius could remember, Remus calling him back from his mind. Just to sit there beside him in silence, so he wasn't alone. Sirius swallowed a lump in his throat as he shook his head, this might be a hard road to walk down. Angry voices echoed in his ears as he remembered that summer… _I couldn't help but understand how you felt there. So afraid to leave where you belonged. Granted I didn't have nearly as hard as a life as you did back home. But I understood, and still do just how much we are alike in that sense. We both had secrets to keep. I can remember you leaning your head on my shoulder, neither of us spoke as we sat there. I just was being your friend, making sure you knew you were never alone, as you always did with me. As you still continue to do. If you've taught me one thing Sirius, it's that you're never alone. You always have someone to stand beside you, even if you don't think you deserve it. You've helped me more than anyone on this earth. And I hope one day I can return the favor._

Sirius read the page a few times; he rubbed his eyes as he tried to control his emotions. He felt a tug on his heart strings as he sat there on the bed he and Remus shared looking down at a picture that probably was randomly taken due to a laughing fit. He could remember how scared he was during his first year; wanting to break away from his family but knowing with doing so he had everything to lose.

And he remembered the first night inside of Gryffindor common room. Not one Black family member had walked inside of Gryffindor. And yet there he was, he felt so out of place. He was the first of the marauders to be sorted. And he was the last to walk into the room that for seven years would be his home. And it was the best home he had had; only second to the home he now shared with Remus. He swallowed yet another lump as he looked back down at the page.

_Your next letter is in the room you spent so much love into making. Just another one of those gifts you've given me that I could never thank you enough for._

_~Remus_

Sirius cleared his throat as he stood up, he was not prepared for the emotional roller coaster he was sure his boyfriend was about to run him through. There was no secret Remus was a romantic person, Sirius had always teased that it was because he always had his nose in a book. But Sirius knew better as he walked towards Remus' office.

Remus was romantic because if you were granted the gift of Remus Lupin's love he was going to show you just how he loved you in everything he did. Something that Sirius was started to realize was lacking in their day to day life.

Sirius sighed, he was never good at showing affection, or at least that's how he felt. He was always a trusting person, and a very loyal and loving person. But there were nights even when he was younger where he'd lay awake at night and wonder if those he cared about knew without a doubt that he loved them, that he'd do anything for them. As he glanced around the room he wondered if every time Remus walked into his office if he knew it, if all the work Sirius had put into every little detail made the feeling so strong he could feel it.

A smile tugged at the corners of Sirius' face as he walked toward the piano, there tucked in a music book was the piece of paper he was searching for. Just as Sirius reached for it a crack of thunder rumbled through the air. The smell of rain filled the flat and Sirius grinned, he was on a rather romantic scavenger hunt and it was about to rain. The day couldn't get any better,

The picture was of Remus tucked inside of the hospital wing, sound asleep, he had a drawn on French mustache and James and Peter were holding up his arms. Sirius snorted, he knew that he was well behind the camera laughing hysterically knowing once Remus saw the picture he would refuse to help with pranks for at least a week until Sirius would pout and beg and he'd crumble and help…just as he had always done.

_November twenty seventh 1972, Second year. I had just come back from a rather nasty full moon. I can remember waking up and looking around and finding you all there. It was the first time I had ever woken up in the hospital wing with you all there. None of you ever knew, so I knew what was coming._

Sirius could feel his mind flash back, throwing him back to second year when they were looking down at Remus and expecting him to come clean. All the fear and pride in them knowing that he, young frail Remus Lupin, was fighting something that would break any normal man. But here he was merely twelve and strong than any of them could ever be.

_I was terrified; I thought you all would hate me. But instead you stayed quiet and laid probably some of the sweetest chocolate I had ever tasted on the table. And told me that you didn't care, you'd always be there for me. It was one of the best gifts I could have received, knowing that no matter what I was, that I had a furry little problem. I could always count on the four of you to be behind me. I think that might have been the first time I ever was comfortable with who I was because as long as you four where there I could have cared less._

_~Remy_

_The next page is-_

_Sirius was interrupted by the door slowly opening and closing, "Of course it bloody rains!" Sirius knew that voice, slipping the page inside of his book, "Welcome home love." Remus jumped at the sound of his voice, the blonde whirled around and looked at Sirius already holding his gift. "You're not supposed to be home for another hour! And HEY! I'm not done with that!" Remus went to rush over to grab it as Sirius clung to the scrap book._

"_You are now…you can tell me the rest of your stories later."_

"_How far are you in?" Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "Shouldn't you know? I mean…didn't you hide a page in each room?" Remus shook his head. "There are quite a few pages hidden in each room, first page for a room is obvious, second is not so obvious. So you're only what page three?"_

_Sirius nodded. "Well then I guess you'll have to wait to finish-"_

"_BUT I WAS ALMOST TO THE NEXT PAGE!"_

"_Well that's what you get for coming home early." Remus pried the book from Sirius' fingers, "Now come on, fresh clean clothes, we're going out to eat. Fancy please."_

"_REMY!"_

"_No 'Remy!' Come on, hop to it." Sirius gave a grunt of disapproval as he was dragged to the bedroom, he would have to wait till later to finish._


	84. Incoming Storm

**Well this was not the chapter I originally had planned...like at all. But it's a pretty alright chapter. Hopefully you guys like it!**

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><p>It was after ten before the two marauders walked through their front door. Both buzzed on the bottles of wine they had had over dinner, as well as the life they were living. So drunk on each other's love they easily forgot the little scrap book that sat on the coffee table.<p>

Clothes marked the path they had taken to their bedroom; both were due for some well deserved love making. The night would be filled with a soft passion between the two ignited by their walk down memory lane. Not just from the scrap book, but from the conversations over dinner, the looks the two had been giving each other all night.

It was intoxicating to both Remus and Sirius to feel this burn again in their relationship that until this moment they hadn't realized had burned away. It was so exciting to feel nervous to touch one another again. To run trembling fingers over well known territory. It was a bliss neither boy wanted to leave. But eventually both boys ran out of energy and after a lovely evening were curled up together amongst the skewed covers sound asleep.

Morning would not greet them with the same kindness that night had bestowed upon them. Two minutes after seven an alarm would blare through their dreams. The world that had once slumbered in peace was shattered with an alert for death eater attacks.

The world plummeted into chaos, it was like they had planned the perfect attack. With a kiss goodbye the two boys apparated to different locations fighting the good fight. It would take well into the evening before the world could breathe a sigh of relief.

The dead well out weighted the captured, and even less so of the living. The once bright sun that had lingered over their skies, though it had been brief had given hope to a dwindling population. Now, now the clouds choked out the sun, leaving them once again in the mercy of darkness.

The smoke that came from burning buildings billowed through London like a gas. Choking the life from anyone who tried to fight it. Sirius had been one of the many to be called to try and retrieve people from these burning buildings. Mostly large muggle populations, and quite a few muggleborn's lived inside many of the flats and homes that currently burned. And many never made it out.

The city Sirius loved now was dark from the ashes and shattered hopes of the mass. It was on the day after Valentines Day that the Muggle ministry was notified of just how grave the circumstances were, it was then that now the muggle community was put on alert. It was the day after Valentines Day that England was secretly at war with a man whose soul might have been darker than Hitler's himself.

Remus on the under hand was sent out into Sussex and later in the day to Surrey. Many of Lord Voldemort's supporters, many who weren't death eaters had rioted a safe camp for any wizards or muggles who had been attacked or whose family had been attacked.

The camps, due to Valentine's Day, were greatly unguarded. Because no one imagined that someone would attempt such a feat when most were celebrating love. They should have known.

Most of the attacks seemed very well planned, like somehow on the ends of both Ministry and Order someone wasn't as loyal as the should have been. There were tell tale signs that someone was up to foul play. But there was no time during the day to ask questions there were lives to be saved and not enough time, man power, or energy to so do.

Many of the camps fell, despite the fights that lingered well into the night. And too many of the opposing side vanished without a trace, leaving on the dead and wounded behind. It would take months to rebuild a single camp. Let alone have the community trust them once again.

The south eastern British countryside smelled of death and smoke. The hills were coated in black ash from fires that had been lit a blaze from crops to homes to camps to whatever the rioters could light a blaze. And for a wizard nothing stood a chance against fire. No amount of stone, or enchantments could keep them out. Everything had their weak spot even the strongest of spells and stone. And all it took was the right hit to bring it crumbling down.

It would be well into the early morning before Remus could drag himself home, and when he'd open the flat door to the smell of coffee and the warm glow of light. His whole body instantly ached. Away from the war and from the danger his body no longer needed to keep up the good fight.

"I finished it," Sirius mumbled as he held out a cup of black coffee. "Dumbledore sent orders to keep guard for the night, after we came home to rest. I figured it was about time we gave into this coffee stuff, to see if it really does the trick."

"Finished what?" Remus asked as he took a seat in his arm chair and set the cup of coffee down, it smelled bitter but for Sirius he'd give it a chance. "Your scrap book, I know you wanted to be here when I finished but…I had to keep my mind off of worrying." Sirius rubbed his leg, "how was it out there…news says-"

"The news most likely down played it."

"That bad?"

Remus nodded, nearly twenty two, he'd seen as much death and destruction as a World War Two veteran. He could still hear their screams and their cries of pain. And in all reality there was nothing he could really do. He was just a pawn directed to war.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the tick of the clock on the mantle and the breathing of the animals around them. Eventually after clearing his throat Remus sighed, "How was it then?"

"Hmm?"

"The book, you said you finished…it was pretty sappy wasn't it."

Sirius gave a light hearted chuckle as he shook his head, "just was the doctor ordered for today. You out did yourself Remus, it was beautiful." Sirius leaned over and gave his leg a squeeze, "one day I'll have to write you one."

"You already have."

Sirius gave him an odd look as Remus pointed to his office door, "that was your book, you wrote it in the style you always do. Without words, just the love you feel. I can look at it every day and remember just how much you love me. It tells me every story I could ever want to hear." Remus yawned as he rubbed his forehead.

Sirius was speechless for a while as he glanced from the room to Remus before a slow smile slipped on his face, "Go get some rest. I took a nap when I came home, you better get some shut eye, never know if we have to leave again."

Remus nodded as he got up to leave, "Hey Sirius."

"Hmm?" Sirius turned his head back to look at Remus, it was then Remus noticed the bags under Sirius' eyes. Sirius was never one to show tiredness or fear or any sort of 'weak' emotion. But there he was tired and upset. But Remus didn't blame him, he's sure his own face looked just like that.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Go get some sleep."

Remus nodded and headed to bed, but sleep would never come. He'd hear a call to arms and hour or so later, and he'd hear Sirius get up to leave. But he'd stop at the door and walk back towards the bedroom. Remus shut his eyes quickly as Sirius walked in. His heart would break when he felt Sirius kiss his forehead, "I'll see you in the morning," he whispered as he'd go to leave.

And then he'd hear the door shut, leaving Remus all alone in the small flat listening to the calls over the radio. He was too tired to get up and leave himself, which was rather selfish of him. But there was nothing he could say or do to make himself move. So instead he laid there on the bed he and Sirius shared and listened too the cries over the radio, or maybe it was outside. He never got up to check. All he knew was Sirius was out there and he would wait till he came home. He would wait for the all clear, and know that they both had survived yet another day. And that's really how one lived in a war, day to day.


	85. Whispers

**I am truly sorry I didn't write on Wenesday...I have been CRAZY busy this past week. I barely had time each day to sit down at my computer and check my emails let alone actually write. Also my birthday is Saturday (turning twenty OMG XD) so I won't be posting another chapter until next Wenesday (29th) I really hope you guys understand. And I hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

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><p>"Do we have a plan yet?"<p>

The question seemed so hollow as it echoed through the empty pub. This was against everything he stood for, really it was. But something had to be done; life could not go on like this any longer. Too much was at risk, and the fall was coming anyway. Anyone who had sense would acknowledge that.

"No, I still am trying to get more of us on board."

It was the truth, the man across from him, starred at him through his cold gaze. He was just a henchman, someone who if caught didn't matter in the end. He didn't know any bits of information here or there and as long as it stayed that way he'd be used in means of communication.

"My master is growing tired of your games; it's been two months since you've requested our help in," the man chuckled, "taking out the trash, as you put it. We simply need to know what you want done."

"I need more on my side; half of us are still on his side. You know…it's hard to change some peoples opinion's they'd rather die than betray him. And…that's the hard part."

"Then give us names."

He swallowed as he looked down into his shot of Harpy's Blood; it was about the only alcohol he could really stand. And one needed a strong drink with dealing with death eaters. "I can't just hand them over! You've worked with our kind before…it's not that simple. If you slaughter half of us then you won't stand a chance with the rest of us. We're all a strong family. Give me time and I can handle it."

"My master-"

"Grows tired I know. You don't think I'm tired of all of this?!"

"Do you even understand what you're signing up for, my master will understand if you back down. We have others…your simply not needed. If we do this for you, then you're in, for good. Even if it's just you alone though we would prefer all of you to join our cause. We know it simply isn't possible…and those that get in our way are in danger."

He rubbed his face, "what if what's keeping them from joining is what I want you to get rid of."

"Then we must begin soon…your not making this easy. Sacrifice must be made, and what is it? A few lives? Worthless lives if they don't join our cause."

He sighed again, the death eater was right, all he wanted was his life back. Things had fallen apart and it was time to get it back on track. "Well…I know where they will be in a few days…"

"Well…where is it?"

"We all will be there, it'll be simple really."

Far away in a hotel out in Manchester, another meeting was taking place. These plans had fallen through time and time again and the person who was leading them was slowly loosing favor.

"Are you SURE this time…you understand this is the fourth time you've fallen through."

"I understand clearly, you have no idea how difficult it is to play the good guy when really all you want is to be rid of them."

"Seems like big talk, from what I hear you used to be rather good friends with them."

"I still am…just they need to see the error of their ways."

It was true really, once upon a time it had been all sorts of good fun. But now, it simply had grown old, to many people still believed they could win, making what should have been a simple take over into a full fledged war. They all could have had a place in Voldemort's reign. That's why he'd moved on, a promise of a higher position, a place he belonged. And besides…nothing wrong with joining the winning side.

"Now look…if we fail this time-"

"Then we'll keep trying, he wants him doesn't he?" A smile slipped on the man's face as the death eater across from him gave a heavy sigh. "You know he does."

"Then we'll keep trying, one must strive to please his master." The death eater gave a grunt as he rubbed his face. "And what pre tell is your fantastic idea? We can't just attack in broad daylight…it'd be suicide with as many aurors and Order members are around."

"We'll be in a muggle part of town; I highly doubt any guards will be around."

"You realize who we're facing? I mean you grew up with them! You know how strong they are!" The man simply tutted at the younger death eater. He most likely was just out of school; he'd heard 'legends' of the great marauders. He didn't know the real truth, no one did. And it was about time they learned, and the marauders fell from the graces they had been posted upon.

"Three men and a woman against well trained death eaters…I doubt it'll be hard."

"You'll be there won't you?"

"Do you really think I'll fight?"

"You should they might notice."

The man grumbled as he leaned back in his chair, "they are too thick to even notice, they haven't yet."

"They might start…your not playing safely."

"It's been four and a half years…if they were going to notice it'd have been done by now. If you can get past two years without them noticing they won't notice at all…I should know."

"If you insist."

"MOONY GET A MOVE ON!" Sirius shouted into the bathroom as he straightened his collar. For James' twenty first birthday it would be a total surprise. Lily was only telling him what he needed to know, and for now they'd kept it all a secret.

It wasn't merely to surprise James, it was also to keep baby Harry and the rest of the Potter's safe. Most wizards now a days never did much outside of their own homes, and they always traveled in pairs or small groups. No one ever went out alone.

"Keep your knickers on I'm coming!" Remus shouted as he tightened his belt, "it's your fault we're late you know!"

"Excuse me for wanting a bit of a snog!"

"You call what you just did a snog, and please tell me you brushed your teeth we don't need to be around little Harry with foul mouths."

"Only you would call yourself foul."

Remus rolled his eyes as he strolled past Sirius, "Come on Padfoot, if your going to nag me let's get a move on." Remus looked his lover over and grinned, he was always so handsome. Being anything different was something Sirius Black could never manage. "What's that look for?" Sirius asked looking down, "did I lose another button?"

"No…you just look amazing is all."

Sirius gave him a broad smile as he patted Remus' back. "As do you love, now let's get on with this!" And with a pop Sirius and Remus apparated into the bathroom of the restaurant, landing every so awkwardly into a stall. "Well…I think my pants are soaked now." Sirius groaned as Remus slid off of his lap ignoring the snickering of the blonde headed marauder. "Give me a hand will you?" Sirius spun around to reviled a rather soaked bottom. He'd landed ass first into a toilet whose seat had been left up. Once Remus spotted the large dark black circle on Sirius' trousers he doubled over with laughter.

"What in the bloody hell took you so long!" Lily hissed as Sirius and Remus slid into their seats, "James is due any minute you two couldn't have gotten here faster."

"Sorry Lils…we had an awkward landing in the loo." Remus snorted as Sirius elbowed him. "How is the birthday boy?" Sirius chuckled as he waved to a giggling Harry. "He's afraid his best mates wouldn't be here…and he nearly was right. I was worried about you two…"

"No need to worry about us Lils, were strong young lads." Sirius grinned, "Is Pete coming?"

"He'd be late; he already warned me ahead of time…unlike you lot."

"Sirius was rather…busy plus the bad landing."

Lily raised her hands, "My child is here…when he's not here you can fill me in." The three chuckled as they waited for James. It was a simpler birthday but, one didn't need a crazy party to celebrate a new year of life. One simply needed the love of their family and friends to welcome the new year of life.


	86. Strike Three

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It was a little hard for me to write, but I think it overall was rather good, so I hope you guys agree :D**

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><p>The evening would go on without a hitch, dinner had been fantastic. James had been surprised, but he had expected it. All of them sitting around the table enjoying dinner and conversation and after a while Peter had even shown up. It was like old times again, with the addition of Harry. Laughing and enjoying each other's company.<p>

They took turns retelling old stories, and having the other's comment and correct the story. Because it had to be right one simply couldn't mess up and tell the wrong part of the story. Or tell one part to early, it would ruin the magic of the story. Or so James would say, and on the birthday boy's day it went his way. Once the check had arrived and had been paid for they made their way to a friendlier pub and enjoyed a few drinks.

It was odd for them to take little Harry with them, but with the recent loss of Lily's parents, no one was left to watch over Harry. So they brought him with them. And the little toddler hadn't dampened any of the spirits, because he simply fell asleep in his stroller.

A round was ordered and classes were held high for a long and happy life for James Potter and all those around him, Peter had added in the last bit which caused everyone to laugh. It took them a few rounds before the warm feeling of a buzz filled the small group. It was nice for just one night to forget the hell that roared on outside.

War continued, people died and people went missing, but for now inside the small warm pub, they were all happy. And with times as dark as it was now this was what was needed. Just a quiet night surrounded by the people you loved most, without a care in the world.

"So where are my presents?!" James asked as their drink glasses were cleared away "Humble isn't he?" Remus chuckled.

"We do them at home dear; Harry needs to be put to bed soon." Lily rubbed his arm before she leaned against him, "So do you." James smiled running his fingers through her hair. "I have better plans."

On that note Sirius rose and stretched, "Come on Moon, we better get going before we have another baby on our hands." Remus chuckled as he reached for Harry's stroller. James gave Lily a wide grin as they stood up linking arms with her. "Presents then the sweetest uncle's ever are on babysitting duty." Sirius and Remus chuckled something about seeing it coming.

They were nearly out the door before they realized Peter had been in the loo for quite sometime and James huffed they stood outside of the pub. "Fucking Wormtail come on!" He grumbled. The four of them huddled together in the late March weather and waited.

But their wait was interrupted by a large pop sound. One that caused all four of them to stare at one another, not tonight anytime but tonight. There was a large group of muggles outside at a Café next door, and a group of wizards standing on a corner. The only way they knew they were wizards was the horrified look on their faces.

And then they came.

Seven large hooded figures came out from one of the alley's everyone stood still. Time stopped as their hearts hammered. And with the crack of the first spell the calm of the evening shattered as wands were drawn.

"LILY GO!"

It would fall on deaf ears as the sounds of spells clashed and screams from passersby would fill the air. No one came out to help, it was like they were trapped in a bubble, the world around them continued to remain in an ignorant bliss as a battle raged on outside of their doors.

Side by side the marauders fought, after taking three of the seven down it seemed the battle was more on their side. But nothing in war was that simple, especially when the war was so far in. Another echo of a pop and with a made cackle to the air Sirius froze.

Things went to fast then, the remaining death eaters somehow grew stronger and along with their new comrades it was a battle they knew they wouldn't win.

Fear wasn't something one could say James Potter ever felt, but it was in his eyes when he fell. Pure fear. And who wouldn't when your life flashed before your eyes.

Of course when he fell the world decided to go in slow motion, and all eyes happened to catch a glimpse. Lily's scream echoed in everyone's ears. Sirius glanced at Remus, and it was like the flood gates from hell opened up.

Anyone who was left after the two boys fought was either dead or frozen. They could hear the sounds of a St. Mungo's crew, and the ministry. But no sound was as loud as the silence around them. They couldn't even hear Lily's weeping as she cling to a barley alive James Potter.

Instead when the door to the pub opened and Peter came out he found himself pinned under a very angry Sirius" WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU!?"

"W-what do you mean?!"

"Sirius you're not helping." Remus whispered to him as he tugged on his lover's collar, "you're not helping James." He touched his shoulder as Sirius raised it to punch Peter, and just as quickly as it was raised t fell down. "Come on…we'll ride together."

They would spend all night in a waiting room, no one saying anything. Waiting for any news, then again no news was good news. They were told earlier in the evening that the spell James had been hit with was unknown, and they weren't quite sure what and all it would do.

That hadn't helped anyone's blood pressure. But the group held strong, nothing could take down James Potter. It's what had followed him for years, that sort of invincibility even in school, nothing brought him down long. And that was their hope that again James would pull through.

"It's like it was planned," Remus muttered to Sirius. "But we kept it secret…even Dumbledore didn't know where we were going…we were careful."

"Maybe we have a traitor…" Lily looked up from Harry, who still slept on. Sirius and Remus looked at each other, and then everyone's gaze fell on Peter. "It'd have to be one of us…" Lily whispered.

"Maybe someone at the pub noticed us?" Remus pointed out, "We were there for over two hours, and it'd be long enough for them to notice us." Lily shrugged, "We'll worry about it later. Remus could you and Peter be dears and go get us a few coffee's I figure we'll be here a while."

Remus eyed her for a few moments before he stood and he and Peter left. "Now what do you want Lily…there's no reason for that."

"I trust you; I know you of all people would never betray James…"

"Remus would nev-"

"I never said he would, I don't trust Peter…if I sent just him he'd be nosey…Dumbledore talked to James and I a few weeks ago about a secret keeper. We laughed it off of course, but after tonight…and you know how the magic works, since Grimmauld Place was under one…"

"You want me?!" Sirius starred at her, "They'd come after me first."

"And you'd die before you let someone hurt James, even without the attachment of Harry or I. You're a dog for a reason Sirius…"

Sirius shook his head as he starred at the wall in front of him, "Of course I would Lily…just…let's see what Prongs has to say ok. He's not dead." Lily nodded as she leaned her head against his shoulder, "I'm just so scared."

"Who isn't?" Sirius wrapped his arms around her, he let her sob on his shoulder as he felt the war crash on top of his shoulders. It had been scary, of course but now. Now he faced something that haunted his dreams, the seriousness of it all crashed around him. For both James and Lily to be scared enough for a secret keeper…was the last straw. He started to get that feeling that one gets when you know the end of something is coming. It made his gut heavy as he sat there lost in his own thoughts.


	87. Fast Forward

**It was late last night when I realized just how close this story is to ending...in the story it's nearly Harry's birthday! Which means only three months left...and it's been a hell of a ride. I'm HOPING I can portray as much as I'd like to before it gets to the end. Anyway enjoy :D**

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><p>Months ticked by, March ended like a flash of lightning with what seemed like the whole world holding its breath. One of the strongest wizards most of the Order had ever known was struck down by some unknown curse and laid in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's merely a vegetable. His life lines were stable, but nothing unnerved the wizarding community as the last attack on the Potter's. And on his birthday none the less, only twenty one years old.<p>

And no one had it worse than Lily Potter; she was taking the single mother role as well as anyone could. But you still could see it in her eyes, the flicker of hope slowly dying. But she was never alone, Sirius and Remus never allowed it. Which meant either boy was never home. And sometimes both of them were at her side. Their time together suffered as they picked up the pieces to their once normal lives. If not for Lily then for baby Harry.

April was slow and quiet, no one new just what to expect. But the tides quickly turned with an attack at one of London's Quidditch games; everyone knew that the quiet had gone. Nearly half of the stadium the next morning laid dead. And the ones who had survived were wounded. It had been a statement attack, and it had made its point. No one was safe, not even in large groups.

Order and Ministry of Magic actions alike jolted to life, because after the attack on the Potter's and the attack at the Quidditch match it was like Voldemort and his followers thought they were invincible. The streets were constantly filled with their hellish figures, and more disappearances, murders and anything else Voldemort and his followers could throw in their direction happened. And they became more gruesome.

There was one attack early in June where on the sign of the Leaky Cauldron a simple muggle fisherman was hung by fishing wire. The muggle Prime minister was outraged, but who would blame him? One of his own, who was easily defenseless against these Death Eaters, was taken out in the blink of an eye and held up for the whole world to see. Muggle forces became aware of the importance of safety to its people, but even they knew they didn't stand a chance against the dark plague Voldemort carried.

Sirius had never been busier as June dragged through. It seemed the month was surrounded in dark clouds. It had been one of the rainiest summers that England had seen, it seemed even the weather was downcast to the hell that Great Britain faced.

Remus on the other hand became drowned in werewolf work, packs everywhere were breaking apart. Turning into smaller, harder to manage packs. His pack in London was the only pack for the most part that still was more than five members. And the attacks on non werewolves for the first time in years decreased. And it didn't go unnoticed, and it wasn't like werewolves to be kind. Something was up…and it was Remus' job to figure it out. He along with the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures' being division were put to task as to trying to figure out why.

June came to a close and slowly the sky opened up, Azkaban was the fullest it had ever been. Death eaters lined the cells for the first time since this whole crazy war had begun. But still James Potter slept in his coma. Healers did their best to comfort him, and to convince Lily everything would turn out. But it didn't go past anyone's eyes and ears how they whispered their doubts.

But just as the weather cleared and most of the death eater presence seemed to disappear, it was like Voldemort put an ad out in the Daily Prophet and more members would show up, and some were stronger than the last. Most were of German decent; it seemed Voldemort's old days hidden away in the German country side seemed to have popped up again. Because large thuggish German death eaters crawled out of the pits of darkness wands as the ready.

July started as one of the darkest tones of the whole war. With the death count both on the good and bad side nearly tripled both muggle and wizard alike. Of those who had tried to take arms nearly two thirds were dead or mortally wounded. Some were even crazy now, but there was nothing to be done. War trekked on, and you either lay down and died or you fought on. Most chose to fight.

But as the month continued on most hoped for a bright light. Anything to make this war just a bit brighter. They begged and pleaded to any God that would hear them. To anything that would hear their cries. No one was ever out at night, not a muggle or wizard dared to attempt it.

And since the beginning of the summer business had nearly halted, no one came out to enjoy themselves anymore, most locked themselves away and prayed for a miracle. But so far not a one came. The world was at a stand still and it looked like Voldemort could easily take all of Great Britain. It had spread now England and Scotland had already felt his wrath, Wales was starting to feel Voldemort's sickening tide, as well as both North and South Ireland. But with Voldemort's forces started to stretch thin, England for the first time in months could breathe a breath of relief. For now.

It was on Sirius' day off, his first day off in what felt like years he'd spend it at James' bed side. Head in his hands and more tired than he had ever been. Remus was off somewhere handling some sort of matter, Sirius had been too tired that morning to actually catch what he said. But Sirius knew he'd be alright. Lily was with Molly, helping her with her seven children as Arthur and Frank were out on a long mission.

Sirius thought he was dreaming when he heard James groan. So he ignored it, he was too tired to really believe that his only prayer had been answered. His head throbbed as he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He just needed some sleep, but with no one to sit with James he would trek on, as he had for months.

Again what sounded like a groan tickled Sirius' ear. And if Sirius hadn't been looking he might have missed the flex of James' hand. And time stood still as Sirius starred at him, and before his eyes James' eyes slowly opened.

Sirius couldn't get out of his chair fast enough to call a healer. It seemed like years ticked by for Sirius as he shouted for a healer then rushed back to James. His eyes were hazed over he looked very confused. Sirius just sat there as healers surrounded James, and it was all he could do not to break down.

It would take James weeks to heal properly and have enough strength to hold a decent conversation, but when news hit the wizarding world, it was like a million lights lit up all over town. If James Potter could pull through so could the rest of them. It's shocking how just one life, one simple life, can push through some of the darkest of times and make the rest of the world push through as well.

It would be nearly the beginning of August, two weeks before Harry's birthday, when Sirius would find himself able to actually sit down and have a conversation with his best friend. He trudged in last of the crew to actually sit down, another late night buried in Order work. But upon seeing everyone's smiles he picked his head up and smiled. No need to show everyone just how bad it was today.

Without hesitation Sirius let himself fall into Remus' lap and gave a heavy sigh. "We need ya out there Prongs…these idiots are trying to get themselves killed."

"Give me a week Padfoot," James chuckled as Harry pulled his glasses from his face, "I've nearly just woken up."

"Had him walking today." Lily beamed. "Yes and give me a week and I'll be battle ready." James chuckled as Lily pursed her lips, there was no fighting James. "Well you take your time and rest up, just…if you come back and your Auror's are half dead don't blame me…whoever has been training them is pussyfooted about it." Sirius waved off Lily's tut as she covered little Harry's ears. "Probably Smith, the man who trained us was killed some months ago."

"I'm aware doesn't stop them from getting someone decent…I mean seriously…blokes standing in the middle of a raid cowering behind each other…Frank and I nearly pissed ourselves laughing after the situation was handled. I mean just RIGHT THERE it was ridiculous."

Conversations carried on, topics changed to happier notes. And everyone relaxed; everything was going to get better now. They all could feel it. It was around midnight before Remus pulled himself from the group to get some well deserved rest. And with him gone Sirius felt weight on his shoulders again as both James and Lily glanced at him.

"Lily tells me she talked to you about a secret keeper…" James started more hesitantly than he should have. "Yes…she has." Sirius glanced at his finger nails. "And?" James eyed him.

"You know the second they figure it out they will know who you picked right? How safe is that? I mean…Marline was nearly attacked today…I don't need you lot on my shoulders too!"

"How is she anyway I heard the battle was rather brutal." Lily asked as she rocked Harry in her arms. "Fine now, all cleaned up and home safe and sound."

"Then what's the issue…Padfoot we only picked you because-"

"Let's get you out of this hospital bed and home safe before we talk about it more. It's not just me in this Remus is involved too…and I haven't even attempted to speak to him yet about it. This…this makes us all nervous what happens if they capture me and use whatever means-"

"You'd die for us Padfoot…just as we would you." James' hazel eyes met Sirius' grey and the whole conversation ended. James and Sirius both knew it was the truth; there was no hiding behind it. "Go home and get some sleep," Lily whispered patting Sirius' arm, "Remus will be waiting."

With a swift nod Sirius rose, this was not a conversation he ever wanted to have, a secret keeper meant defeat. And the last thing he needed James admitting was defeat.


	88. Secret Idea

**Hope you guys had a good Labor day! Enjoy!**

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><p>It had kept him up all night, not even the sound of Remus breathing beside him had lulled him to sleep, and normally that did the trick. But he'd lay in bed for hours, slowly the hours ticked by till eventually Remus' alarm clock went off. The quiet groan of the werewolf stirred Sirius from this thoughts, and out of the corner of his eye he watched Remus struggle to find the snooze button. Sirius casually leaned over and hit the off button instead. "Go back to sleep Rem…I'll let you know if anything happens." The wolf rolled over and looked at Sirius. "How long you been awake?" Sirius shrugged, "since yesterday morning."<p>

Remus raised up out of bed and looked at him eyes open now. "You didn't sleep at all? Even after?" Sirius shook his head, the night before had been a passionate one. One that should have really knocked him out, but the worries on his mind had returned to the surface after Remus had fallen sound asleep. "What's a matter?" Remus asked looking in his lover's eyes, "What are you not telling me?" Sirius frowned as he sighed; this wasn't how he wanted to tell Remus. He was already defensive he could hear it in his voice. But who wouldn't be sex was meant to make you sleepy and Sirius was always sleepy afterwards, so one would always take that as a personal attack. "It's not you love, promise." Sirius chuckled after a few moments, which caused Remus to punch him in the shoulder. "I know that." Sirius snorted.

"Do you now?" Sirius asked grinning at him, "Because you were rather-"

"If you start you won't ever get it again." Remus chuckled, as he rested his head on Sirius' shoulder. "We've been under a lot of stress…and I haven't been with you in months it feels like."

"There was that one quick shag-"

Remus put his fingers over Sirius mouth and shook his head, "Don't ruin the mood." Sirius chuckled and ran his tongue along Remus' fingers, "as you wish."

"Now as I was saying, what's wrong…did something happen on a mission?" Sirius shook his head, "no…they've been as fine as they can be. It's not a mission-well it is but…" Sirius pulled his head away from Remus' fingers and ran his hand over his face. "I just…how would you feel if someone asked something so big of you…something you know you could fail at because it'd be that obvious, and yet you know you're the only one who can do it." Remus blinked a few times before sitting up straight. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean-" Sirius let out a shaky breath, this wasn't right, he couldn't ask Remus to be ok with this. Especially when he wasn't ok with it either. "I mean James and Lily want me to be their secret keeper." He'd said it quickly but by the look on Remus' face he'd understood. "YOU DIDN"T DECLINE DID YOU?!"

"What?! NO! I just- what the hell? You act like I'd REALLY decline that!"

"Well…you sounded like- why does it bother you?"

Sirius looked at him oddly tilting his head, "why doesn't it bother you?"

"I mean of course it does! That's like admitting defeat but I understand." Remus quickly recovered his ground and cleared his throat. "I mean…you of all people, your nervous?"

"Like you said Moon…it's like admitting defeat. I don't know if I can handle James and Lily throwing in the towel."

"They have a baby Sirius…it's one of the reasons for so long I've told you no to kids…it changes everything. You're no longer just afraid for yourself but…a child." Remus sighed, "When did they ask?"

"Lily asked me after the attack…I beat around the bush, then last night James brought it up."

Remus tried his best not to feel offended, he hadn't even been asked. "Have they ever explained why they wouldn't use me, or Pete?"

Sirius looked at him curiously, "Why would it matter?" Instantly he knew it was a bad question to ask. He faced a smack of a pillow and a grumbling werewolf, "why would it matter he says, well I'll tell you why it'd matter! I'm their friend too! Do they not trust me?! Have you been telling stories?"

"W-what Remus whoa hold on!" Sirius grabbed him and shook him, "Are you listening to yourself?! I mean Moony hold the phone!" But Remus had pulled away, "Do what you want Padfoot."

"Oh moony dammit don't be like that! Lily knows you're up to your neck in werewolf troubles, why the hell would they want to pile on more. PLUS it'd be hard anyway…you'd have to do your best to stay hidden and we need you out on the werewolf front, and you're more important than me." Sirius smiled, "They trust you, and you know that. It's nothing against you, and if it was like that they wouldn't even ask me I'm your lover."

Remus sighed as he rubbed his head; he'd been so busy lately he'd forgotten the full moon as soon. That would explain his possessiveness last night, and his unableness to control his temper just now. He fell back on the bed and gave a heavy huff, "nearly forgot didn't you?" Sirius asked rubbing his back, Remus nodded and sighed. "Been to busy to really notice it was coming. Probably a good idea they don't lean on me." Sirius laughed and nuzzled his lover's neck. "Ohhh Moony…it'll be ok. They might change their mind anyway you know Prongs, when he gets scared he goes to extremes."

"Can you blame him?" Remus laughed as he sighed, "but I agree…hopefully they won't need you…I'd worry constantly."

"Prongs really?!" Sirius asked as he sat at the Potter's small breakfast table, "I mean…I just…you can't really expect… He's not dumb enough…"

James leaned back in his chair and sighed rubbing his face, "Look if you don't want to do it-"

"It's not that! It's just…this is defeat!"

Lily and James glanced at one another then back to Sirius, "What the bloody hell are you-" Lily started but James sighed, "Ahhh so that's why you're nervous about it." Lily eyed James as he patted her hand, "it's not defeat Padfoot, and we just need to regroup is all. We want to stop at three, next time it maybe Lily, or baby Harry, we couldn't have that could we." And it was at that moment tiny Harry zoomed by on his little broom, giggling madly. "HARRY! Ugh! Dammit Sirius, thanks for that." Lily rushed off as the toddler continued to zoom from her grasp. The two men at the table chuckled as the boy zoomed from sight as Lily chased after him.

"Padfoot, we will understand if you-"

Sirius shook his head, "Rem's on board, though he was rather…how should I say this, hurt that you didn't even assume he could do it."

"It's not that, and he's a bloody idiot if he thinks that. He know he can do it, but with all the stress about werewolves, plus the fact it'd be hard for him to run off it need be with his condition…we didn't want to stress him out more. He dose understand you may have to hide out…right?" Sirius nodded, "He knows the costs…if we go with it. I just wish you'd really think about it. Do you even have a place to stay?"

James nodded, "Dumbledore offered us his home, he was the one to actually suggest it, earlier this year. Me and Lily laughed at first…but now," James looked past Sirius as giggling could he heard along with Lily's proudful "gotcha" came from somewhere down the hall. "He changes everything…so does she. I don't know what I'd do if-"

"About like me with Remus, or even you…I'd die if something happened to you…you know that right?"

"That's why I picked you personally, Dumbledore offered himself but…I couldn't bare it. Dumbledore is great and all but…you're my brother Padfoot. I know you'd do anything to keep me safe, and with lily and Harry added-"

"Just Harry, Lily can beyond protect herself." Sirius laughed, but he sighed. "All jokes aside you all are my only family left. I mean I have Andromeda but…she's more distant than close. The marauders and little baby Harry is all I've got."

"What about Lily?" James asked. "Didn't you know we anointed her the first woman marauder when she told us she was Permanent

…that's been what ages ago?" James laughed as Sirius shook his head. "Can't wait to inform her."

"Inform her of what?" Lily asked as she walked with an awkward walk, both men looked past the counter to see Harry taking a ride on his mother's leg. "That my kid is learning from his father just how to get my attention?"

"I hope he's never done that for sex."

"Easy reach if there is a dress on," James chuckled as he leaned back in his chair. Sirius blinked before shrugging, "It'd be a mighty easy reach."

"What did I need to know?" Lily asked as she tried to recover from her husband's bluntness of their sex life. "Oh Lily nothing more than James didn't know you were a marauder."

"Where have you been?!" Lily laughed.

The talk of secret keeper was soon forgotten, the three of them sitting at the table watching Harry play, and later in the evening Remus would join them, for a game of cards and to watch the last London match of the Quidditch series take place.

But the idea still lingered over their heads, that one day Sirius would have to step up. He would have to give his solemn oath to forever hold the Potter's living destination a secret, which would until at least the end of the war be hidden away from the entire world. Or at least those who were not permitted to read it on a piece of paper. Or at least that's how Sirius hoped it worked…it wouldn't be fair if he could be with James and Lily and Remus be cast out into the cold. He gave a glance at Remus who smiled as he again won at the poker game.

The group watched as Remus, like a child and Christmas, pulled his candies towards them. And the group smiled even more as little Harry crawled into Remus' lap and looked ever so sweetly up at his uncle, and batted his little eye lashes, and everyone watched as Remus gave a sigh and split his winnings so the little boy could share with him.

It was a lovely way to end the night, all of them together as a family. And all at once the world fell silent and the war wasn't raging anymore. It was just them in peace and that's how it was always meant to be.


	89. Little Light

**Omg nearly at chapter 90...hell this is a LONG story, for all of those who have stuck with this through the very beginning of this part (as well as those of you through Backwards Desire which OMG shocks me to no ends!) Thank you SOOOO MUCH we are nearly through like seriously September is around the bend for the marauders...and then October. Also thank you so much for all of my new followers it means SO much to me and you all have kept and given me fresh new drive to continue this story. It's been hard a points but I know you all enjoy this story and it keeps me going so thank you SOOO much. **

**Also...I know Marlene's death was supposed to happen in July...which was a totally mess up on my part. Sorry hopefully you can still enjoy it.**

**Also there won't be a chapter friday and maybe not monday because something's come up and I'll be away all weekend and I don't have the chapters written up. Sorry guys!**

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><p>An eerie silence worked its way over England it was late in August and the sun had long since set. Most of England was now bathed in the half moons, moonlight. A thin blanket of fog just thick enough to know it was there filled the streets of London. It was the perfect setting for a mystery novel.<p>

But no one seemed to notice, most everyone was in home tucked in their beds enjoying a quiet night as summer was coming to a close. Children started to get anxious about the upcoming school year, and parents breathed a sigh of relief that soon their children would be back in school and they could have some time to themselves.

The dog days of summer dragged on, so it had seemed with recent scares most people chose to stay indoors. And of course on these days it had been beautiful summer days that dared to tempt them out of their homes. One such day had ended and it had been one of the days most people had broken free due to their cabin fever.

Sirius and Remus had been two of those people to cave in and seek refuge out in the beautiful summer day. They had taken a long walk down many of London's streets, Lari at their side. It had been a relief to get outside and breathe fresh air.

But now with night upon them, curled up on the sofa with the record player in the background. The lights were down and the room was lit by a couple dozen candles. Two mugs of half drank tea sat on the coffee table, forgotten by their drinkers who where much too lost in the taste of each other's mouths to remember them.

Lost to the world Sirius and Remus were wrapped up in one another, with such passion you'd think they'd never be together again. Fingers were knotted in hair, legs were intertwined. Bodies were pressed together and their sounds were covered up by the soft sounds of the music.

All in all most of the world was lost to any danger. Everyone breathed deeply and enjoyed the calm night.

But somewhere, hidden away, there was trouble brewing. And by morning one less family would stand tall in this wizarding war, one more mighty family would crumble under the name of Voldemort. When the sun would come up there would be nothing left but the glittering green dark mark that loomed over the McKinnon household.

Sirius woke up to shouting from his nightstand, raising up and gently pushing Remus off of him he reached for his mirror. "Mornin' captain how are you?"

"Sirius this isn't time for games, where the hell have you been I've been calling for an hour!"

"sleepin',"

"Marlene is dead…her whole family's dead Padfoot."

Sirius sat up straight as a board eyes wide, "Come again…that's not possible."

"Ahhh but it is, Padfoot I'm here now, well here at what's left of the house, you need to get here."

Remus was up by now, looking at Sirius with wide eyes. Sirius dressed in silence, nothing was said as both Sirius and Remus prepared for their day. The mood from last night roughly jerked from underneath them. And both filled with the dull ache of loss.

The bodies had been carried out of the house, most weren't even here anymore. What was left of McKinnon manor stood as a dark reminder of what happens when people let their guard down. Smoke still came from within the manor the sign of the last fires dying out. There was little left of the group that had first been on the scene.

Sirius pushed open the door and looked around, bits of wall and ceiling was scattered everywhere, the large hole in the ceiling of the floor above Sirius could see up and out through the roof. He slowly walked up the stairs listening to the crunch of debris. She'd told him two weeks ago she thought they were coming, he'd brushed it off. She'd even wrote him three days ago, begging for him to have an audience with her, she knew to much, she'd written. But he'd ignored it, he had too much on his mind. And now he'd pay for it, for the rest of his life he'd have to deal with knowing he did nothing to try and stop it.

"You ok Padfoot?"

Sirius shook his head as he wiped his face, "Course I am…just another victim."

"She wrote me Marlene did…things have just been so hectic…" James stepped over a pile of debris as he came to stand by Sirius, "Coulda stopped this…I let her down…"

"She wrote me too…" Sirius spoke, with a voice that sounded to weak to be his own. "A few times, but I was so busy with you, and the order and…trying to keep me and Remus from falling apart…" James looked on as Sirius looked down the halls of the old house the two of them walked in silence, they were the last people making sure the house was clear. "We can't go on like this much longer" Sirius sighed as he shut a door behind them, it had most likely been Marlene's grand parents room, he remembered her in school talking of them fondly, he hoped their death had been quick.

"The world can't suffer like this much longer, this war has to end." Sirius gritted his teeth, "we can't bend much longer."

"We have to," James squeezed Sirius shoulder, "For everyone who's not gotten this far, we HAVE to push forward Padfoot, if we don't then we're just letting him win. We either win or we die trying…wasn't you who said that so long ago?"

"Yea, when I was still young and hadn't realized how many people were going to die from fighting." Sirius chuckled darkly, "I remember when I was younger, hearing my family talk about a war coming…it used to excite me you know. Because I knew I'd fight against them all, the purebloodist that they were I could finally prove them right. Well I bet all of them are rolling right now because in the end their going to be right." The loud sound of a smack echoed off of the hallowed halls. "OW!"

James' hazel gaze glared daggers into him, "Giving up already Black? Going to let the big bad-" James stopped for a second, "scary man cause you to hide."

"You were gonna say wolf weren't you?"

"Oh shut it and pay attention."

But the seriousness of the conversation had faded away, it wasn't proper to be laughing as they were. Leaning against one another clutching their sides lost in fits of giggles. It didn't help as James had continued the "big bad wolf" conversation as to imagine Remus standing behind a puppet of Voldemort and making it dance. "He'd be a terrible dancer then! Remus is rather horrible at it!" Which had sent them into more fits of laughter.

It was when they hit the bottom of the stairs that they finally felt peace. The two of them looked at each other with curious glances then around at the house. The crystal chandler above their heads swayed a bit as a breeze softly blew by them, brining in the smell of a cherry blossom tree not so far away.

The two marauders smiled at one another, that's how Marlene would have wanted it. Even in death she'd rather those she cared about be happy, and to not be stuck grieving and wondering what the could have done different. She would want to be remembered at her happiest when she was doing what she loved. With one last glance around the house the two boys left feeling lighter than before.

The funeral for the McKinnon's would be anything but dark and bitter. They were never the sort of family to dwell on the darkness of life but merely in the darkest of times to dwell on the happiness of the past. And that's how they would be remembered. It was a small party of everyone they held dear gathered together telling stories and sharing memories of those lost.

The whole family had been cremated, it was a shared family thought that none of them were to be placed in the ground but to be scattered around the earth so even in death their bodies could enjoy the world around them.

It was a group effort of their closest family and friends to take the ashes of each family member and scatter them. They all wanted to be together but in a happy place, so the group set their sights on Regent's park, where on the day the scattering had been scheduled the sun shined brightly in the sky and the whole park was filled with people laughing and enjoying the beautiful summer day. Just the way they would have wanted it to be.

And when their ashes were set free, and they danced in the breeze everyone in the party, which included most of the Order all felt a overwhelming peace come over them. That despite their loss in this war, the once felt and the loss that would continue would be all for not. Because around them life carried on, and no matter the cost life would continue to carry on.

Sirius glanced at James who had little Harry held up on his shoulders giggling as the breeze played with his hair, Lily's arm was around James unshed tears glittered in her eyes. Remus' hand was held in his. The Weasley kids ran around laughing and giggling and it was then Sirius realized that the fight wasn't just for them, for peace. But it was for the future, and at that moment as the whole group stood in Regent's park watching the last of the ashes fade away, did the future glow brightly. A fire burned for the future and Sirius had a feeling it'd be the brightest yet. He gripped Remus' hand tighter and a wide smile spread across his face. Yea…everything was going to work out in the end. He could feel it, deep in his bones, and down deep in his soul everything would work out in the end. And one day, maybe not soon, but one day no one would fear Voldemort's name. That was the world he was aiming for.


	90. Clouded by Doubt

**Not only is this most likely the longest chapter in this story BUT it is also the ninty chapter! OMG THIS STORY IS LONG! For all of those who have kept up with this story for this long know you are amazing! And I thank each and every one of you. And those of you who have wrote reviews for this story...thank you they are honestly what keeps me going. So thank you all and enjoy.**

**Also I hope none of you really like Harris...otherwise you might be mad at me XD. Though a while back I did write about his intentions...**

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><p>Sirius leaned back in his chair as the order meeting closed. Dumbledore had asked that he, James and Lily stay behind so they could talk about secret keeper business. It made Sirius nervous to know that the charm would be done soon. There was so much at stake by doing this, but he knew deep down that his friends were in no better hands than his own.<p>

"Are you positive you want Sirius to do this?" Dumbledore asked looking at the three, "and are you comfortable with what's being asked of you Sirius…this is a very large job."

"This is no one Lily or I trust more than Sirius, no offence Albus…it's just Padfoot has never left my side. Sure he's done some stupid shit along the road but he's an adult now. And I know if it came down to me and Lily or him he would easily lay down his life for us." James gave Sirius a broad smile, "Not that it'll come down to it."

Sirius laughed shaking his head, "Can't catch me."

Dumbledore nodded, "I see, so shall we run through the procedure again?"

Three hours ticked by before Dumbledore felt that everyone had mastered what needed to be done. He had given them all bright smiles, knowing that it would go smoothly, leaving the Potter's and Sirius on their own. "Shall we do it now then?" Lily asked wringing her wrists out of nerves. "No…" Sirius looked up at the clock on the wall, "I need to relieve Moody at his post at Lestrange Manor, and the meeting should be ending soon." James nodded, seeing right through Sirius' dance around the bush but said nothing. "Be careful mate, you let us know when you get home, alright?" Sirius nodded, "just no sex this time, right," He laughed.

It was late into the summer, only the first week of September, and the coolness of autumn was already around them. It would have been a fantastic night for an evening walk. Sirius hoped Remus was out enjoying the weather, he loved nights like this. He'd relieved Moody who had grumbled about him being late. And now he waited at his post for his own relief to come, which wouldn't be for a few more hours. Over head a small waning moon hung in the air, giving him just a small bit of light as he looked over the home he'd been to a few times in his childhood.

Lestrange manor was everything Grimmauld place wasn't; it was large for one surrounded my acres and acres of land. In the early 1900's it had been a large race horse farm, some of Britain's finest lines came from here. Then the wars came, it had been shelter for families in those times, the farm had run dry with money but the family still lived there and had more than enough room to house them. Sirius wasn't sure how it landed in Lestrange's lap but it did and now his cousin and wife lived in the large manor all alone.

Sirius leaned back in the grass he was bored out of his mind, the meeting continued on inside. He could hear it fizzing through a bug planted in the room. By whom Sirius had no idea, but he could hear their small conversations. It wasn't very clear but clear enough you could somewhat understand what was going on. His job was to make notes on what they were saying and if anyone came out to identify who was there.

Even if the ministry wouldn't listen to the list of names they had, it was better for the order. Because most of the people who were behind Voldemort, they went to school with and knew their fighting techniques. And knowing your enemy made a hell of a difference in battle.

The meeting ended, Sirius could hear it fizz out on the little radio and he waited a good thirty minutes scanning the area around him. No one came out, which he should have suspected. But out of the corner of his eye he caught something. His head whipped around and he watched, it moved again.

It was hard for him, in his doglike nature, not to chase after whatever was moving ahead of him. While his instincts cried out for him to chase, he had to hold it all in and slowly sneak across the tall grass as quietly as he could. The form had yet to move again so he knew he hadn't been spotted.

Sirius was an amazing tracker only bested by Remus due to his werewolf senses. But that was the life of dogs wasn't it? To be rather good at hunting down prey. And Sirius would have lied if he said he'd never used his animagus form once or twice when no one was around on a hunt. He was nearly on the man when the wind changed, blowing his scent straight towards him.

Sirius wouldn't have worried one bit about it if he hadn't seen the man turn around. Sirius' gut dropped a werewolf. And like that his target was running, as fast as he could. Sirius sprinted after him, he was all too happy to give chase. He was a good distance from his post before he launched himself in a football styled tackle, and had his target pinned to the ground.

He quickly reached for his wand and held it against the back of his head, "Who are you!?"

"Sirius get off!" The man growled underneath him, whoever it was knew him. But he had no idea who it was, unsteadying him Sirius slowly let him roll over, lighting his wand he looked down and growled, "Harris."

"Yes it's me you bloody ape get off!"

"What the fuck are you doing out here?!" Sirius had repined him to the ground and had no desire to move. "I said get off."

"I said what are you doing here?" Sirius bit back, his mind threw up a million red flags, and he shouldn't be here. Harris growled underneath him, "I'd try and buck up to throw you off but you might like that," he sneered. Sirius dug his wand into his throat, "you're not my type," he growled.

"Blonde, werewolf, I think that's your type isn't it? There isn't a large difference between Remus and I."

The crack of Harris' jaw meeting Sirius' fist echoed through the small grove of trees. Sirius silenced his howl of pain before he grabbed the man by the shirt. "Do you understand how easily you could have just fucked up this whole underground project might even have gotten a rather important person killed?!"

"Do you know what's going to happen to you once you let me go, Remus won't be please when he hears you injured one of his best men."

Sirius growled as he glared at Harris, "Remus wouldn't care if I killed you right now. You could have gotten me killed just standing there like a deer in headlights. If I could see you what the FUCK makes you think they couldn't?!"

Harris gave him a grin before he jerked his collar away from Sirius, Harris reached for his dropped wand and healed his jaw, "I was here on Remus' orders…you know him being my alpha and all. He wanted me watching making sure they weren't stealing anymore werewolves or are you Order members not aware of this?" Sirius starred at him clenching and unclenching his fists. "I take it you don't or you do but don't care. This war is for blood equality…and werewolves aren't on the Order and Ministry's list of equality."

Before Sirius could react a light pop echoed around him proving Harris had apparated away. It was like the wind was sucked out of Sirius' chest. Harris had made it seem like he was on a different side, like he no longer fought with the Order...and if Remus was their alpha… He shook his head and rubbed his face. Remus would never switch sides not with everything the marauders and Dumbledore had done for him. He would never betray them. But the wheels of betrayal had been long turning in Sirius' head.

For months he'd ignored it, he ignored the things that didn't add up. The little things that in his head were signaling something. But now as he sat out in the grass waiting for his relief he thought about it. Remus had been acting funny for months. Everyone had been telling him it was stress, but he'd seen Remus stressed before. This wasn't stress. This was him being sneaky, for a while Sirius thought there was a surprise in store for him, but it had gone on too long. This was something not meant for Sirius, it might even have sinister roots.

Remus hadn't been home at nights, he'd been out doing things. And when he did come home he was distant. He was still Remus; he'd do everything Remus normally did, except if Sirius went to be affectionate he would shy away. And it hurt, Sirius would replay days over and over in his head to try and figure out what he'd done wrong but nothing made sense. And now with Harris' words replaying over in his head…things started to make sense.

And it changed everything.

There was no way he could be secret keeper if he didn't trust Remus.

All the way back home Remus was sitting on the couch watching the clock, Sirius was due home anytime. It was nights like these he worried non stop. He hadn't been to the order meeting; he'd had his own meeting with the werewolves which Dumbledore had told him not to miss. So he went there instead, and he'd sent Harris to keep an eye on Sirius. Not only incase he needed back up but Sirius had been acting strange lately. And Remus couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was wrong.

He blamed it on stress of the idea of being secret keeper, but some things didn't add up. Sirius snuck out early in the mornings especially those where Remus had only gotten into bed a few hours prior. He'd sneak out and not come home till later at night. People told him it was Sirius being Sirius. They had to remind him that they'd now been together for nearly five years, and Sirius might be getting restless.

But Sirius was still in love with him right? Sirius had seemed to be so, though his drive for attention lately had been nearly obsessive, always wondering where Remus was going. Wanting to be as close to Remus as he could be. Remus knew deep down Sirius was suspicious of him, but Remus was suspicious of him being a traitor. Everyone was really, so it didn't hurt him that much. Or it didn't hurt him as much as he let on.

But he loved Sirius and Sirius loved him, and love always won in the end. When the war ended they would be ok again. He knew it deep down. It just would take time.

When he heard a pop behind him Remus spun around and the grin that had been on his face fell, it was only Harris. "How is he tonight?"

"Your wanker of a lover broke my jaw actually." Harris hissed, "Don't worry though master I fixed it." He spat, "maybe you should tell him to lay off a bit."

"And what'd you do to anger him?"

"NOTHING! He was mad I was out there, I think he's up to something…"

Remus' heart sunk, Harris was the only wolf Remus trusted to keep an eye on Sirius He was the only one he trusted enough to protect him, and Harris had been telling him for a few weeks now Sirius was doing rather strange things, meeting people that didn't seem to be on Dumbledore's side. Whispering in his ear to keep his guard up because Sirius was meeting family.

"Why do you say that?" Remus asked shoving his fears into the darkest corners of his mind. He was a rational man and rational men needed facts to believe in a suspicion.

"Well…Remus he broke my jaw, when he caught me. Do you really think a normal man would attack me?" Harris asked with a raised eyebrow, Remus looked at him closer and could see the bruise on his face, it wasn't a defensive attack. He'd seen Sirius fight before, he knew he had hit first, and he had hit hard. It wasn't the cleanest blow either, and Sirius didn't fight dirty. Maybe he was paranoid…

"Chased after me and attacked me like some mad man! Even had his wand in the back of my head when he landed on me! I mean he could have killed me!" Remus continued to push his doubts and fears away, trying to think clearly. "Well you probably spooked him, I mean he was there watching for death eaters to leave…maybe he thought-"

"Of course defend him! The truth is staring you in the face Remus Lupin and you are going to just follow him blindly! I mean he's already tried to get you thrown into Azkaban!"

"HE WAS FIFTEEN! That was YEARS ago!"

"He's a pure blood Remus…and all of them crumble in the end." Harris sighed, "And you know this war isn't for us to be equal, we are monsters especially to the purebloods…do you think Sirius is any different."

"He has been my best friend for years, he didn't care when he found out I was a werewolf."

"Yea he was a kid then, and there wasn't a war going on. A war where his best friend now has to go into hiding."

Remus starred at him wide eyed, "H-how do you know about that?" A warning went off in Remus' head something loud rang in his ears. Harris blinked before he shook his head, "I've heard him talking…"

"Get out." Remus snapped, his hands were shaking. "J-just get out."

With Harris gone Remus collapsed onto the couch and held his face in his hands that was one of the largest secrets the marauders held. Only five people knew that the Potters were definitely going to use a secret keeper charm. James, Lily, Peter, Remus and Sirius…and he knew for sure he hadn't told anyone. James and Lily hadn't told. Peter hardly even knew about it. And that only left Sirius the one who knew the most other than James and Lily. Sirius was a traitor…it was right there. "Oh Sirius….what have you done…"

When another pop filled the room Remus was already tucked into bed. He'd been sick as his stomach churned he'd been sharing a bed with a traitor. His heart and soul was given to a man who would rather he be a slave than his lover…

"Remus?"

He ignored him and closed his eyes; maybe he was under a spell? But Remus knew better, there was no cloudiness in Sirius' eyes. There was no sign…he betrayed them on his own free will.

"Remus we need to talk." Sirius gently shook Remus' shoulder. His cool hands gently touching his skin, Remus felt the urge to be weak to look into his lover's eyes but denied himself. "Rem…please this is important."

"What Sirius?"

"I think Harris is a traitor," Sirius breathed in his ear. Sirius shook him, "Please Rem listen to me."

"Why do you say that?" A flutter of hope moved in Remus' chest as he sat up. "Thank you," He heard Sirius breath in the darkness, the side lamp flickered on. And Remus winced in the bright light, "he was out there tonight, he showed up after the meeting ended. Moony I think-I think he's one of them."

"I sent him out there, we've had wolves disappearing." Remus was lying, if werewolves went missing it'd be all over the news. Because it'd be a danger to the normal population. If someone didn't show up then they'd send hunters out.

"But I haven't heard-"

"It's all under the rug, we're trying to find them ourselves, and we think death eaters are stealing them from experiments."

"O-oh, does Dumbledore know?" Sirius asked, he sounded a bit put off but Remus ignored it. "No, again we're keeping it quiet the packs that is…we don't want word getting out. We don't need hunters to add to our problems."

"But he could-"

"Sirius…Harris came to see me," Remus started. "HE WAS HERE! What did he want?!" Sirius growled his hands tightened on Remus' shoulder, causing him to frown. Was that his paranoia catching up to him? "Why did you hit him?"

"He-he said things I-"

"He claims he did nothing that you just hit him."

Sirius starred at him wide eyed, he even backed up a bit to look at his lover more clearly. "W-who are you going to believe?"

"Well he is the one who had the broken jaw…" Remus looked at Sirius; he looked like all of his hope had fallen from the sky. Remus gave him a weak smile. "Of course I believe you…I just…wish I knew what happened."

Sirius gave a soft chuckle, he didn't believe him. Sirius saw right through it, but he carried on anyway it's what he did. No one trusted a Black, it was simple. And it must have been about time Remus stopped trusting him too. "He was just saying I was his type…and pressing my buttons is all. I'll apologize next time I see him." Sirius bit his tongue, he wanted to fight him to defend his trustworthiness, but when Remus Lupin had made up his mind no one changed it.

Remus rolled his eyes; he knew that was against everything Harris stood for. He sighed, "Yea Harris can be a bit of a prat."

"He also said something that worried me-" Sirius added as an after thought once he had crawled into bed, he had his arm wrapped around Remus, who for once didn't fight him to cuddle. "What did he say?" Remus asked turning his head to look at Sirius properly.

"He said something to the fact that the order and ministry aren't fighting for werewolf rights…you don't believe that do you?"

Remus rolled over to look at him, that sounded familiar, "Did he say that?"

"Word for word basically."

Remus shrugged, "I don't believe it personally, I've been proven wrong thanks to Dumbledore. But most wolves believe it; don't worry so much about that."

Sirius nodded, he believed him. That's all Sirius could do anymore is believe. And no matter how far down he didn't trust Remus he loved him. And even if love was all he had anymore it's all that mattered. Because even if Remus was a traitor, he still loved him. It just would make life harder.

As both boys fell asleep deep down they fought the same fight they did almost every night now a days. Was he or was he not a traitor. But tonight had changed them both, now they both believed that the other wasn't telling the truth. There was something more to what they were saying. And deep down they both knew their love for one another might not last through this.


	91. Secret Keeper

**And now we have the secret keeper...I'd like to have this story closed by a hundred chapters...hopefully that'll actually happen.**

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><p>Sirius paced the front room of the Potter's house; time was ticking inside of his head. He could feel the whole world around him spin. The events of the morning and sealed every inch of doubt in his head. And it had made what he was about to do even more clear in his mind.<p>

He had caught Remus slipping out early in the morning. Caught red-handed, and he had denied leaving. "I was just going out to get the mail." "Ain't it a bit early?" "I didn't get it yesterday." "I did remember when we came in from dinner?" "Oh yea…well I probably should take Lari out then-" "I already did." "Oh well…fresh air then?"

Sirius had waited hours for him, and he hadn't come back. He needed Remus today, today of all days he needed him. He listened in on the radio praying nothing bad would happen while he was gone. And of course something did, it wasn't too bad. The typically sighting and a little ruckus but nothing that wasn't handled quickly. And it was about that time when it was all over Remus slipped back into the flat, covered in scratches.

That had sealed it, the guilty look on Remus' face. And that he couldn't explain where he'd been or why he was gone so long. "Look I know it looks fishy but-" "Can't you tell me anything?! Do you not trust me?!" Remus had gone quiet then, Remus couldn't lie. And with that Sirius had stormed out of the flat and slammed the door.

"Lily tells me you've been pacing for an hour, what's a matter Padfoot?" James asked leaning from the doorway, Sirius had no idea how long his school friend had been then. Sirius wiped his face, wiping away any unshed tears that hadn't fallen. His life was nearly in ruins now, dream job long gone, love of his life was most likely running secrets to someone, and the were stuck in the middle of a bloody war that had no sign of ending. "Life is a matter." Sirius huffed as he let himself fall onto Lily's couch. "Better not let Lils catch you flopping down on the furniture she'll give you a good cracking."

"I think Remus is running secrets."

"Oh not this again, Padfoot we've been over-"

"There was a small raid this morning, nothing much. Just a fuss really, but Remus did everything he could this morning to sneak out. Then when he came back he was covered in little scratches." Sirius looked on the verge if insanity, "and tons of other things don't add up and he doesn't trust me! AND HARRIS!"

"Harris? You mean that friend of his you don't like?"

"Yea that one."

"What'd you tell Rem?"

"That he's a traitor."

James chuckled as he sat down beside his friend, "And you wonder why Remus isn't telling you anything. If you think his friend is a traitor why would he tell you where he's running off to. And how do you know he wasn't fighting the death eaters that attacked? And what makes you think Harris is a traitor?"

"He said something, something a week or so ago, when I was reliving Moody at the Lestrange manor."

"He was there?"

"Said he was making sure werewolves weren't being taken…there aren't any gone missing have they?" Sirius asked his friend as he looked up from his hands. James raised an eyebrow before shaking his head. "Padfoot if werewolves were disappearing we'd be on red alert. That'd mean that death eaters just might have them on their sides…and well the whole population would be at risk. Who told you they were?"

"Harris…and Remus agreed."

James shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, "Remus doesn't lie."

"No he doesn't…do you see…something's wrong. Maybe something's held over his head…or maybe…" Sirius shook his head, "Remus wouldn't believe that."

"Believe what?" James asked leaning towards Sirius. "Harris told me, when I saw him that the Ministry and Order were only fighting for normal wizarding and muggle rights…not werewolves. He said that we didn't think them equal." James leaned back in his seat and sighed, "most wizards don't but Remus knows better, or at least he should…I mean look at us, look at what we did for him!"

Sirius nodded, "I'm not disagreeing but…I heard a long time ago, hell probably after we got out of school once-" Sirius let out a deep sigh, "Voldemort was promsin' them places in the world. The werewolves, that they could be equal if only they joined up with him…"

"And you think-"

"At least Harris…Remus isn't that stupid, but he won't believe me! And Remus always-"

"Maybe we've been wrong Padfoot," James rubbed his face, "Maybe Rem has switched sides, things always seem to happen when he wanders off. Like…remember that time six months ago, right after the meeting he ran off."

"Pete did too, remember?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.'

"Yea but Pete went to see his mum, you know how he is! But a week later at a stake out we got attacked! And Remus wasn't there!"

"It was the day before full moon!"

James glared at Sirius, "You come here accusing him of being a traitor and then when I point it out to agree you defend him! What is it Padfoot is he or is he not?!"

Sirius put his head in his hands and stayed like that for a few minutes when he raised his head back up he looked at James with the saddest look one could imagine, "I defend him because I love him, I accuse him because I am afraid he has…Prongs…I don't know what to do." James wrapped his arms tightly around his friend and closed his eyes. "We'll figure it out Padfoot…there has to be a reason." Sirius nodded, "I can't be secret keeper…I won't leave Rem."

James eyed his friend darkly, "So you'd rather date a-"

"I need to keep an eye on him…I won't lose someone else to the death eaters." Sirius' voice was flat, and James needed to ask no questions, he understood completely. "If I lost him too…I don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't make it through this war that's for sure." James sighed and rubbed his temples. "I also want him out of danger…he wouldn't betray you…"

"He's betrayed you what stops him from-"

"You protected him in fifth year…he owes you his freedom." Silence fell around the room; you could hear baby Harry crying from upstairs as he woke up from his nap. Then the soft thumping of Lily's feet across the ceiling followed and soon the child went quiet. "What will we do about secret keeper?"

"What about Pete?"

"Wormtail? Padfoot I don't know…I mean."

"Think about it," Sirius turned to James a mad glimmer in his eye much like the ones he used to get when a good prank idea had popped into his head. James instantly felt at ease. "If we switched it to Peter they'd never guess who it is. They will think it's me of course! I mean who else would you choose! But if we made Peter the secret keeper-"

"They would be after the wrong person! Padfoot you're a genius!" James gave him a wide grin, instantly the two boys felt four years younger and a hope glimmered between the two that hadn't been there since they were in school. "And Remus will be none the wiser." Sirius added softly, "we won't tell a soul."

"No one else needs to know." James nodded, "Just Lily, you and me." Sirius nodded back. "I doubt Pete'll mind. I mean it'll be Christmas for him to all the sudden be so important." Sirius laughed, "Imagine little Wormy."

"Padfoot don't remind me, that's my kid in his hands."

Sirius waved him off, "better brief Pete then?"

"I need to talk it over with Lils…we'll do it next week. She'll be mighty upset about Remus…you know how she is with him." Sirius nodded as he sighed, "Imagine how I am."

"What about Remus?" Lily asked, "What's wrong?" The two marauders turned and glanced at one another, "Lily…we need to talk about Rem and…well a lot of things." James started.

Lily had cried and denied them, every step of the way about Remus. She couldn't and wouldn't believe that Remus was a traitor. There was no way sweet Remus would do that. But when learning about Harris though she wouldn't believe Remus was a traitor she did believe that Harris would cause a problem. It was the only reason she agreed to Peter. She didn't trust him, never had when they were in school and still didn't.

James and Sirius had scoffed at her, that a marauder was a marauder for a reason. She would use this against James and Sirius to fight their accusations against Remus. But it hadn't changed their minds, something was going on with Remus and it wasn't safe. It was better this way, they had told her. And she reluctantly agreed. Her only stipulation is that Sirius watched Peter, kept him hidden and under a strong watch. "Because Sirius Black if anything goes wrong…and he finds us. James and I will die, and our blood will be on your hands."

A week later Sirius gathered Peter, who seemed anxious and nervous when he'd picked him up. And the two headed to the Potter's. He decided not to make a fuss about it, not to pressure him, "just go on with life as much as you can, pretend nothing is different." Peter had nodded, but deep down Sirius felt something in his gut. It was the same feeling he'd got in fifth year when he'd spouted off at Snape, it was the same feeling he'd gotten when Regulus was placed in Slytherin. It was the same exact feeling he'd gotten when he met Harris. He should have stopped everything; he should have changed his mind again. But instead he stood outside of the Potter's home, waited for the charm to be done. And when the house disappeared Sirius looked up at the stars muttered a soft prayer. Something he hadn't done properly in years and waited for Peter to reappear.

James joined him when the two repapered, James held a small piece of paper in his hand. "Read it, it'll show you."

"I know," Sirius' voice was shaky as he looked down at the neat handwriting knowing full well it wasn't written by James or Peter. And within seconds of reading the note, James took it from his hand and lit it on fire with his wand. "Come have a drink Padfoot, then go home to Remus." Sirius looked up at the house then to James then to Peter. It was done and nothing could change it. His best friends life was in another mans hands and all Sirius could do was watch.

An hour later Sirius was back home, he'd hidden Peter away tucked into a small home that the order used. He was safe and unknown to Peter there were people watching. Sirius would sleep well. He apparated back inside of the flat and sighed. Remus was sitting up on the couch reading. "Evening." Sirius chuckled as he came up behind Remus. "Lovely Dracula impression." Remus tilted his head back smiling, "How'd it go?"

Sirius shrugged, "As it should I suppose."

"Does it hurt, being a secret keeper? I know it binds to your soul." Remus closed the book and looked at Sirius. Sirius shrugged again as he hopped over the back of the couch. "Why would it hurt, it's Prongs and Lily? Only time Prongs has really ever hurt me was that time in sixth year as an animagus and he ran his rather sharp antlers into my side…that's about it OH and the bludger to the head in third year. Yea that's about it…and Lily's slapped me a few times…yea your right it shoulda hurt." Remus laughed as he leaned against Sirius.

For once in the longest time nothing felt strained or pressured. Remus was at ease, as was Sirius. James and Lily were safe; Peter was tucked away and under watch. Nothing could go wrong. Even if Sirius was lying with a traitor at least he could keep an eye on him.

Remus on the other hand was worried inside James and Lily had placed their lives in a man that he assumed would easily turn on them all. He should have gone to James…but James would have never believed him. He had written Lily, and she told him he was crazy that he needed decent shag. He knew telling them Sirius was a traitor was a lost cause, he also figured Sirius had told them he was a traitor. And it hurt deep down inside to think that they all believed he was. But he knew somewhere in him Sirius had switched sides and it was only a matter of time before he was proven right…but at what cost?

Meanwhile as a knock came to his door, "My Lord, it is done." Was all that was said, Voldemort grinned a wicked grin as he petted Nagini, "do you hear that love, the Potter's are as good as ours." The snake hissed a laugh. Everything was falling into place.


	92. Castles Crumbling

**Bah! I like this chapter up to the ending, the ending just...falls flat. Waring for those who have asked for them...this chapter is a rough one. But I'm sure you guys know the rest will be rough. Might be only seven or so chapters left. I have the last three written so I just need to fill in the last bits between...and I can already tell you they won't be happy.**

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><p>The leaves in England had started to change from green into various shades of red, orange, and yellow. The crisp, cool air tugged at your clothes making the overcast days almost unbearable. But that didn't stop Sirius from ripping down England's roads. Sirius' motorcycle had become one of his best friends as the days trekked on. It was too stuffy in the house, he had thought about moving out once or twice. But every time he glanced around the small flat he'd be flooded with memories and would instead go out for a ride.<p>

He knew Remus knew something was up. It was obvious by his face; the once glimmering golden eyes were now hazed over. Weither that was from all the work he constantly was doing now or the emotional stress the two were under Sirius didn't know. All he knew was he needed to get away.

This time, as he roared down London streets he was fighting off his emotions. He and Remus had had a rather vicious row. Where they both had come straight out and told the other they were a traitor. The room had gone eerily silent.

"_Where are you going now?!" _

"_OUT!" _

"_YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING OUT! What's a matter now? Who's calling you this late at night Sirius?!"_

"_None of your business."_

"_I wonder if this is you getting tired of flavors"_

That had done it; Sirius had whirled around and grabbed Remus by the shoulders. He knew what he meant by that, it was his secret way of either accusing him of cheating or changing sides. With an angry force Sirius didn't think he could ever throw at Remus he growled at him. He watched Remus' eyes glow for a moment, the glow that always came with his temper. He'd shouted for him to repeat himself and when he had Sirius went at him. And Remus had defended himself. Sirius would have a black eye in the morning he was sure.

It had hurt him deep down, hearing Remus question both his love and trust. It had torn him apart. And after he looked down at a bruised and bleeding Remus. _"No love, it's you who's betraying us…after all we've done for you…" _

He hadn't been able to take Remus' response he couldn't even hear him when he rushed off. He'd grabbed his jacket with such a force he pulled the wall hook off of the wall. And had slammed the door so hard he'd heard a picture or two fell off of the wall. But he didn't turn around, no matter how far deep down he wanted to. He needed to get away.

The sun had long since set and the moon had come up. Sirius looked up at the full moon as it hung high in the sky. His well trained ear could hear wolves howling in the distance. He ignored the knot of guilt forming in his gut as he turned the key and listened to his motorcycle sputter and die. He looked up at the rugged hotel sign and sighed. He had about thirty pounds in his wallet; he hoped that might get him a room. Otherwise he'd just ride all night; he knew that'd at least get him a few tanks of gas.

The man at the counter had taken pity on him, "Running from the misses?" He had asked Sirius had to swallow and nod, "Yea…you couldn't spare a room for thirty pounds could ya?" "Mind a smoking room." "No I'd prefer it."

The second he walked into the room he felt terrible the room was a dark blue, Remus' favorite color, and the room smelled like cinnamon. , that was how Remus smelled without cologne. Instantly Sirius missed home, he missed his life. But his life was long gone. Remus had changed, hell the whole world had changed. There was no home now, just a place he lived, with a man he once loved.

Collapsing on the bed he pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes, grabbed the match box off the bedside table and lit up. He sighed as a clam rushed over him as the nicotine silenced his mind. He turned on the TV and let it fill his head with background noise. He ignored the moonlight that poured through the windows of the small hotel, ignored the ringing in his ears from the werewolf's howls, and pretended the mark on his shoulder didn't sting of betrayal. For right now as he took another puff of his cigarette life was calm. Even if it only lasted till the cigarette burned out, he'd simply light another.

When the door slammed in Remus' face, he didn't know how to react. He didn't know what to say, but somehow words bubbled out "COWARD COME BACK HERE! FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!" When he heard Sirius' footsteps storm down the stairs his head hung, "I love you…come back." He'd whispered to himself as he sat up, gathering himself. He ran his hand over his face, trying to keep anything in that dared to come out. He didn't need to have feelings for Sirius, not anymore, he was a traitor. It was simple; he'd talked to Harris enough to be proven right. He just prayed he didn't take it out on James and Lily.

Remus couldn't pin point when it all went wrong, he couldn't even show you how it all happened. He just knew deep down somewhere Sirius had switched sides. Harris had asked if he thought there might be some heroic to it, maybe Dumbledore had asked. Or maybe it was to avenge his brother? Remus had hoped if it was for either reason that Sirius would have told him. But he never did, so Remus doubted it. "Maybe he simply is bored…if your from his lot you can only stay 'good' for so long Remus…maybe…maybe he's tired."

He had slapped Harris across the face for that one; it had been late last year when he had said that. Now, now Harris was right. He'd gotten tired of playing the good guy. Sirius had always said he wasn't a good guy merely fighting on the good side. Now he'd gotten tired of it, maybe he knew they were losing and he had a chance to save himself. Remus let out a sob, that wasn't the Sirius he knew. But then again the Sirius he knew didn't fist fight like he just had with Remus either.

Sirius had been on occasion the punching type. There had been very little fighting between the marauders unless a wrestle got out of hand. But nothing ever deliberately out of anger, at least nothing like what had just happened.

Remus glanced over at the now destroyed coffee table, had it been him who smashed it when Sirius had thrown him or had it been him shoving Sirius down on top of it that broke it? He couldn't remember all he knew was the rage he'd seen in Sirius' eyes had been borderline crazy. That was enough to seal all doubt. Sirius had changed, and there was no need to tell anyone. He was their secret keeper now…maybe he'd keep them safe.

Remus felt tears now, stinging his eyes, the whole left side of his face hurt. It had been where a well aimed punch had hit him. It had taken Lari tackling Sirius to get him off of Remus. She hadn't bit him hard but he was sure Sirius wouldn't forget it. After Sirius left the dog had slinked away to hide, afraid her master would turn on her too. Remus couldn't even call her now. His throat hurt, running his fingers over his neck he could tell there would be bruises.

But Sirius didn't leave unscathed, Remus had seen an already forming black eye. And knew he'd gotten in enough good hits and a kick at least. Remus just hurt worse do to the looming full moon. Maybe that's why he'd pressed Sirius' buttons. The wolf was angry, he'd been angry for weeks. He'd been denied his lover, and he could feel the tension between Sirius and Remus. It was only a matter of time before Remus snapped; he just thought Sirius could take it. But as he always forgot this Sirius wasn't the boy he knew in school.

Remus leaned against the couch for ages, in to much pain to move. Both inside and outside, his body refused to move. Instead he sat there starring at the walls, or the ceiling, trying to stop his mind from replaying the fight over in his head.

After a few hours Lari walked out and licked his hand, her soft brown eyes watched him as he picked up his head from his arm; giving her a weak smile he patted her head. "Oh Lari…were did we go wrong?"

When Harris had come to get Remus that night he'd refused. He wouldn't leave his flat, Sirius would come home. He needed to make sure he was alright. "He doesn't care about you! Don't you see!?"

"This is my home! And I will wait for him…even if he never comes back I will wait."

"You're a love sick bitch Remus snap out of it!"

Harris had learned quickly to never, ever snap at his alpha. And he left soon after. Remus picked himself up after a while, drained his Wolfsbane in one quick gulp and waited. When the moon came, and the wolves howled, Moony was curled up in Sirius' favorite spot on the couch. The TV was on, some random show Sirius typically liked to watch about this time. And the wolf waited…and waited…

When Sirius came home the next morning he thought the flat would be empty. That Remus would be gone; every fiber of him would have been erased. But it wasn't.

When he walked inside the flat he looked down at his feet. A shattered picture of Remus and himself sitting under the Marauders tree at Hogwarts lay among the broken frame and shattered glass. Tears stung his eyes as he bent down to pick up the picture. He could remember it, the way the air had smelled, the softness of the grass, his fingers interlaced with Remus'. He could remember after the picture was taken Remus running kisses along his jaw and James telling them through laughter to get a room. He hid his face in his hand as he wept. His heart shattering into a million tiny pieces as he stood there, where had it gone? What had he done wrong?

After he controlled himself he walked forward towards the kitchen and once he was in there and turned around, he could see a clear view of dirty blond hair resting against the arm of the couch. The cup he had in his hand slipped through his fingers and shattered on the ground.

There, in his spot on the couch, slept Remus Lupin. He was curled in a ball, softly snoring. Sirius starred at him, for how long he didn't know. The only time he came back to reality was when Remus sat up and starred back at him. "Your back?"

Sirius starred at him, he didn't know what to say. He merely nodded. Remus nodded back as he stretched. "So…about last night-" Remus started as Sirius shook his head. "Forget it Moony…just…" Sirius sighed heavily. "I'm sorry I started it." Sirius whispered. "It was right before full moon I shouldn't-" Remus chuckled, "I riled you up. My fault."

And like that, the two boys shrugged off the night before. Putting it in the back of their minds, like they had done for the past two years. Not talking about what was eating at them. Neither of them apologized for their words, or the actual fight. Only apologized for letting the other getting at them.


	93. One More Chance

**Forgive me for how short this chapter is. But I couldn't change it; it just…was perfect to me. I felt that even though it's short it works perfectly. If I was to make it longer it wouldn't be as good. So sorry for the shortness but I REALLY hope you enjoy it. **

**Remus had gotten up early; the sun hadn't even started to rise. It was the third night he'd gotten no sleep. It'd been two weeks since Sirius' and Remus' fight. Two weeks he'd tried to make it work. Two long hard weeks, he's sat in the flat day in and day out and avoid Sirius.**

**It was like he was the plague, every time he came in the room Remus would leave. It wasn't wise to stick two untrusting people in the same house. The once star-crossed lovers now stood around a pile of ashes wondering where to go from there. The relationship long burned out, it's last embers killed by a glass of ice cold water, waking them from their cozy dreams. Now they stood at a crossroads.**

**It was around nine in the morning when Remus heard Sirius start to shuffle around in the bedroom, most of his office was nearly packed away. He'd made a decision late last night, that he couldn't take another day living in this place. Sirius would never leave, because Sirius always believed you could make things better, it's why he'd stayed so long at Grimmauld place. It'd take a large blow to make him leave, and Remus couldn't give him that blow. So instead he'd do what was best, and tell him goodbye.**

**He hoped Sirius would get up get dressed and leave. He had a mission to do he'd be away for two days. It'd be just long enough to pack up and to be on a train back to his parents' house. He'd only stay there for a while before he'd find another place. He'd written ahead asked if his parents minded, which of course they wouldn't and asked if he could bring Lari, there was no way he'd leave her here with a crazy man. Again they had agreed. And that had set his plan into motion, by this time tomorrow he'd be nearly packed, and ready to head home. Leave it all behind.**

"**Remus?" **

**The voice was small and gentle; Remus knew if he looked up he'd see Sirius' eyes. His mind begged him to ignore him, that if he looked up he'd never leave. He'd be locked up here, because still deep down Remus loved him, and thought he could change. "Rem?" **

**Ignore it.**

"**Your leaving aren't you?"**

"**Yes." **

**It went quiet for a while; Remus knew he was still standing there. But he proceeded with his packing; he had a few boxes of books left. Along with paperwork he needed to box away. Then he'd move on into the living room, and pack what few belongings he wanted to keep and remember. "Why?" **

**The question had startled Remus, after the long silence he looked up. "Why? You ask me why?" Sirius nodded, "Because I can't take this anymore Sirius! I mean look at us! What is left for us here? You don't trust me I don't trust you…and its obvious James and Lily don't either. So what is left for me to do here? I won't sit here any longer. This life…it's over."**

"**Give me a chance I-"**

"**I gave you chances, so many more than you deserved."**

**The room went quiet again, Sirius still stood in the doorway. Remus' heart pounded in his chest as he sat there, slowly putting books into boxes. It would have been so much easier if Sirius had just left him. Just walked out and pretended he didn't hear Remus. But of course Sirius never did the easy way out. He always made things harder than it needed to be. "Moony-"**

"**Don't call me that, that name is dead to me."**

**It was hard to say it, so hard to actually push the words out. Because with those words came hidden truth. He hadn't been called Moony in ages, or if he had it'd been when Sirius was sweet talking him. Asking him to forgive him, or to come to bed with him. And he'd fallen for it, countless times these past few months. He was tired, tired of being used. "I'm done Sirius. We've been done for nearly a year…" he looked up at his old lover and frowned. "Can't you just let it go?"**

**Sirius looked at him, looked around the room then walked inside. "How is it so easy for you to let it go? How can you just walk away?"**

"**Because Sirius it's over, if there is no trust there is no love."**

"**I still love you…"**

**The words hung in the air like a thick smoke, choking them both and nearly bringing them to their knees. Remus wasn't aware of the tears streaming down his face till he felt Sirius' warm fingers wipe it again. He knelt down beside him, and put his hands on top of his. Remus glanced at his hands and noticed the platinum band on his hand. He hadn't worn it in ages; he'd said it put them at too much risk. They didn't live in a world where they could be open anymore. Thus the rings had been hidden away, like the rest of their love.**

**Remus felt another tear slid down his cheek as he looked up at Sirius, "I can't…" Sirius searched his face, Remus didn't know what he was looking for, and with the look on Sirius' face he didn't think he found it. "Mo-Remus I…I…give me one more chance. We can fix this…I just-"**

"**We can't Padfoot," the word was foreign to his mouth, but Sirius' head snapped to attention at his name. Eyes full of hope, Remus knew he'd said the wrong thing. "We can!" Sirius grabbed his hands and squeezed them, "we fought through fifth year!"**

"**That's very different…I don't even know you anymore…how can I trust you?"**

**Remus could see Sirius' mind moving a mile a minute. Hidden behind his eyes he could nearly hear the gears in his head clicking away. "Then let me teach you who I am." The words were serious and sincere. "Let me show you that I am still me…and not who you think I am."**

"**You don't trust me…I see it in your eyes.""Teach me to trust you, show me."**

**Remus felt the fire in his heart slowly start to burn again; he could hear it wheeze to life. Maybe this could work? He took Sirius' hands and gave them a tight squeeze, causing Sirius' whole face to light up. "You have to leave." It fell.**

"**W-what I-I thought-"**

"**Your mission…I'll wait."**

**Sirius' eyes widened, Remus felt a smile slip on his face. A smile that was true, "Promise me you'll wait."**

"**Cross my heart." Remus gave him a soft peck on the lips. Something he hadn't done with truth in what felt like ages. His mind flooded with memories of them kissing, stealing them when the other was busy with something else. Just to remind the other they were loved. Sirius looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown as he pulled Remus close to him. Remus rubbed his back, ignoring the wet spot now on his shoulder as Sirius silently sobbed. **

**It felt like someone had opened the windows of an old house. Letting the sun and fresh air take away the darkness and musty smell of what had been. He could almost feel the warmth of the fresh light absorbing him, shaking the coldness from his bones. **

**He'd wait like he promised; he walked Sirius to the door. And the two shared a nervous and rather awkward kiss goodbye, it felt like their first time. Sirius wrapped him in another hug and whispered 'I love you,' in his ear. Which Remus did the same, and he watched him leave. For two days he'd wait, for two whole days he'd try and change himself. Because this was it…no turning back. He'd given his word. He would learn to trust Sirius again, for better or worse.**


	94. Ticking By

**I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...**

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><p>Remus had slaved all day trying to straighten up the house. He felt like a wife who was waiting for her husband to come home from a long business trip, and wanting the house to be perfect when he arrived. But isn't that exactly what it was? The Sirius that would be walking through the door would be the same man who he'd fallen in love with. Not the man he'd come to know as a shadow of him. It made him nervous, his hands shook and he'd dropped far too many things today to be normal.<p>

He'd been up bright and early unable to sleep that night out of pure excitement and nervousness. Things were going to be different. Everything was going to work out. His mind kept reminding him that Sirius was a traitor and this was a stupid idea that was going to get him hurt. But he would drown those thoughts as he continued to work around the house. He'd unpacked everything and made sure things were the way they were.

It was Halloween so the house had been decorated; a jack-o-lantern was at the middle of the dining table, little bats hung from the ceiling. Candles were in random places casting an eerie yet romantic glow over the whole room. It had been around lunch time before Sirius' large black eagle owl, Tenebris, fluttered through the door looking rather proud of the note tied to his leg. Remus' heart had fluttered when he'd seen the normal unreadable scrawl written on the piece of parchment.

_Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, I'll be home soon._

_Well…that sounded much more romantic in my head. I'm sure your laughing now. But I've been bitten by a love bug and I can't wait to be home. I miss you, I'll see you later. _

_With all my love,_

_~Padfoot_

It had filled his stomach with butterflies, and it had pushed him through the day. The love was back in his life, and he felt like he was back on cloud nine. He could hardly keep his heart in the right place as it constantly felt like it was up in his throat ready to jump out and rush to find Sirius.

Sirius on the other hand was just as nervous, he had rushed through his mission. Which he'd pay for later but at the moment it didn't matter. He was already half way home when he realized he hadn't checked on Peter that evening. A part of him wanted to turn back and just run and get a quick glance of him. But instead he'd decided that Peter was safe, he'd have enough guards for the night. Everything was in place; it was a night of celebrating in the wizarding world. One of the only times of the whole year they could go out and dress in any fashion they'd like. Because they all would blend in.

He'd bumped into many wizards on his way back to his flat. He'd rushed to a nearby flower shop and with flowers and a box of Remus' favorite chocolates tucked under his arm he rushed up the complex's stairs two at a time. His heart was furiously pounding in his chest when he reached his room number. He stood outside of their front door for a few moments to catch his breath. His face hurt from the grin he had on his face. But everything was well in the world. Nothing could go wrong today.

He pushed the door open and walked in a few steps before walking headlong into one of the bats from the ceiling. "EP!" He yelped as he backed away looking at the little black bat that dangled from the ceiling before he let out loud laughing. "REMUS!" he called, but when no one came he frowned. Had he left anyway?

His heart broke as he laid the flowers and chocolate down. "Moony?" He called walking around; everything was just as it was when he left. Nothing seemed out of order, but somewhere in his gut he felt something was wrong. The sun had set by now, and the room glowed with candle light. It wasn't until he was halfway through the bedroom that he could hear Remus, well more like the shower. But he knew tucked inside the shower was Remus Lupin.

Picking himself back up with a huge grin on his face he undressed and waltzed towards the shower and quickly hopped inside. Ignoring the shocked squeak that came from Remus he pulled him close for a hot kiss, which quickly turned into much more.

Hands roamed what felt like unfamiliar territory, tongues teased lips begging for much needed entrance. Limbs interlaced and hearts raced. Both boys needed this; it was something they hadn't felt in ages. The excitement and love that came from the other. Their hearts pounded at a frantic pace, their bodies shook as they came closer to the other. Neither boy looked away from the other as they knotted their hands in each others hair and pull the other in for another round of hot kisses.

But it didn't go on farther than that, they quickly ran out of steam and leaned against each other panting. It was too fast and they both knew they needed to slow down. "Calm down Padfoot," Remus had chuckled as he pulled away, "can't we eat first." "Oh I know what I want." Sirius' voice had sent shivers down Remus' spine but he shook his head. "Later." It was a promise.

Out of the shower and dry, Remus pulled Sirius out of the bathroom and with much force the bedroom. He led him into the kitchen were dinner was ready. Though he could tell Sirius had his eyes on dessert he forced him to actually sit down and eat dinner with him. The nervousness carried on through the night. It was like a first date and seeing each other have a long trip all rolled into one. They didn't quite know what to do with each other, and nervous touches and laughter seemed to fill the air.

But it was good, things felt right again. There was laughter and love again, it filled the flat and out lit any light. It made the whole flat glow. It was a nearly blinding light that burned between them. It felt good to just be again, to not have to worry.

Remus had Sirius' hands as he yet again and tried to tease him. "Sirius, come on, paws off." Sirius had whined as he inched closer. They were in the middle of a movie and Sirius just couldn't sit still. "But Moony…you promised."

"I said later, and you'll get it later."

Sirius had huffed and crossed his arms over his chest like a child. Remus had taken this as a moment to act and leaned towards his frustrated lover and run kisses down his neck and across his jaw. Sirius' arms quickly unfolded and wrapped around him. "Mmm, I thought you said later?" Sirius had asked with a raised eyebrow. "It is later." Remus had grinned as he ran more kisses down his throat, "unless you want me to stop." Sirius quickly shook his head.

Shirts were quickly removed as Remus had pushed Sirius down on the couch. The movie played on as the two quickly forgot about it and were again lost in each other.

They could hear Halloween festivities going on all around them. The evening seemed to crackle with the fire of laughter, all around them the world went on enjoying the spooky holiday. While inside, Sirius and Remus were oblivious to it all.

They were much too busy kissing and touching parts of the other that even their small rendezvous in the shower hadn't allowed. This time it was slower, and softer. It was full of much deserved affection and the will to trust. Kisses were feather light and touches were full of promises. It wasn't the rough and hot passion they'd had in the shower but instead the gentle touch of a lover. Inside their small flat the fire that had been put out slowly started to glow.

But it didn't last long, when Remus had stood up and slowly walked towards the bedroom, telling Sirius he better hurry. Something deep inside Sirius' gut told him not to go. That something was wrong.

"M-moony?" Sirius had started; Remus had stopped and looked at him. Sirius looked at the clock on the mantle it was nearly eleven. "I need to go out. I'll be back though…I just…something doesn't feel right." Remus had frowned but nodded. "Don't wait up ok; I don't know how long I'll be." Sirius had rushed over and pulled him close, sensing the trust he had just built felting away. "I just…I need to check on James; I was in such a hurry earlier." Remus' face softened and he gave his lover a gentle kiss.

"You owe me in the morning." Remus had poked him in the chest as Sirius had started to pull away. "I know…I owe myself letting your fine ass go to bed without me. Think of me?" Remus had given him a grin, "Oh I'm going to have to…you leaving me like this."

It had sent shivers down Sirius' spine, the lust filled gaze in Remus' eyes had been burned in his mind as he jumped on his motorbike and flew off into the night.

But when he landed at Peter's hide away and found his friend to be gone. He quickly forgot Remus' look as a panic raced over him. He flew as fast as he could to the Potter's but within ten miles he could see the smoke in the sky. His heart stopped as he landed, he looked up at the Potter's home. "N-no…please…" he whispered as he starred up. He'd closed his eyes and reopened them a million times, before his legs gave out and he fell to his knees.

He was wrong; it wasn't Remus who betrayed them…

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><p><strong>Please don't hate me...<strong>


	95. You're Out

**Ok...so this isn't amazing, I won't lie. This was very hard to write, so many emotions. I really hope it does justice though. I tried to put as raw emotions as I could into it. Hopefully it worked.**

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><p>It had taken Sirius what seemed like hours to regain the strength to stand. It was wobbly steps at first, almost like he'd forgotten how to walk. He slowly pushed the iron gate aside, the hinges squealed with agony as he did so. It sounded much like the cries in his chest, pain filled and ear piercing. There was a lump in his throat he couldn't swallow as he slowly walked forward. He felt like a zombie or a ghost as he continued the slow pace. He couldn't run as much as he tried he couldn't his legs couldn't support him, and when he reached the small landing his hands trembled as he reached for the door handle, only to jerk it away with a hiss. It glowed with green light, and it was at that moment he could hear Harry's cries.<p>

His heart leaped out of his chest as he rammed the door open. But his small hope that had glimmered at the sound of his Godson's cries dissipated. Sirius couldn't breathe because even from where he stood he could see James, he could see his eyes wide open starring at him. He was just at the base of the stairs, Sirius was frozen.

His throat tightened, his heart thundered in his chest as he stood in the doorway. "No…"

It was all he could say, was simply no over and over again. How he got to James' side he'd never know. But when he got there he fell to his knees he looked down at his best friend, his brother, his only family. His heart was ripped from his chest as he touched his face, it was stone cold. Sirius hung his head as tears streamed down his face. "Wake up," Sirius sobbed as he shook James over and over, "please wake up…" he was full out crying now as he continued over and over to shake his friend. "Come on Prongs…stop playing."

Eventually he'd give up and lean against the bottom stair huddled together sobbing. He didn't even have his wand. "YOU STUPID BASTARD" he shouted, "Completely FUCKING UNARMED-" He choked out a cry "you knew he was after you-" his voice cracked as a wave of tears flooded over him, "and you were unarmed…"

He rocked himself back and forth as he cried, rivers of tears streamed down his face. He couldn't go upstairs, he couldn't face Lily. Her words would forever ring in his ears _'Because Sirius Black if anything goes wrong…and he finds us. James and I will die, and our blood will be on your hands." _And she was right, his best friends blood, and her blood were on his hands. This had been his decision…it was all his fault. "Prongs," he choked as he leaned down and rested his head against James' "I-I'm so sorry-" he couldn't finish as his throat was closed as he sobbed. He pulled James into his arms and held him tightly, much like a child does their teddy bear during a thunderstorm. "I failed you," he cried. Whatever else came from Sirius' mouth wasn't understandable as he sobbed over his friend.

When he laid James back down, and shut his eyes he stood up. He took a deep breath and tried as best he could to climb the stairs. When he reached the top landing he could see her red hair from the doorway, the door was half blown off it's hinges. Sirius' gut knotted, he felt like he was going to throw up everywhere. This was not how it was supposed to go. James and Lily were still supposed to be alive…

When Sirius pushed the door open and saw Lily sitting there, he had to step out of the room and cover his mouth. She was right there next to Harry, eyes wide open. He felt like he was going to lose it, his hand shook, his body ached. He couldn't do it, he might have been a Gryffindor but this was too much. Her hazed over emerald green gaze had been to much _'Because Sirius Black if anything goes wrong…and he finds us. James and I will die, and our blood will be on your hands.' _It echoed in his head over and over, she'd been so serious when she said it. Her eyes had plead with him to change his mind when she'd said it. It had been one last effort to change his mind. It nearly had, but he'd been a coward. He ignored her cries, and now he'd pay for it.

Sirius took a deep breath and walked back inside the nursery. He looked at Lily as new tears pricked his eyes. Lily who had done so much for him, so much for James, and even more so for Remus. The kind hearted woman who had pushed him to trust his heart. He wondered if she knew how much he was indebt to her. He wondered if she knew how much he really did love her. He knew James knew, that was without a doubt. But he had never been very kind to her. She was part of his family, but he had sometimes been nasty when it came to losing his best friend. He wondered if she knew he was only jealous? He hoped so, he hoped Lily knew that he loved her deep down. He leaned down beside her and gave her a kiss on her forehead closing her eyes. "Oh Lils…what have I done?" When no answer came he felt tears come again. He couldn't look inside the crib he couldn't face a dead Harry.

He stood up and turned his back, he couldn't kiss his Godson goodbye. He hadn't heard a single cry since he'd pushed in the door. He figured it must have been his mind pushing him forward. Harry's cry would have easily gotten him inside, and now that he had and faced his punishment he could leave. But as he turned to leave he heard a soft coo.

When Sirius turned around Harry was standing up clinging to the railings of his crib. Wide bloodshot green eyes stared back him. And on his forehead was a lightning bolt cut, Sirius starred at the child. Anger first rushed through him, how could a baby live through that! How could Harry live through it when James and Lily died! But the anger lasted mere second as the child began to cry.

Sirius walked back to him and as the boy held out his arms. Scooping him out and grabbing his baby blanket he held the child against him and covered him up. He wouldn't have him seeing anymore of this. Giving Lily one last look he left the nursery. He had tears streaming down his face again, he was sure his face was raw from crying and his eyes were bloodshot. He gave James an frown, "I'll protect him…I'll do a better job." He whispered in the doorway, glancing over the house. And for the first time actually noticing all the damage that had been done, but that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was the bodies within the damage.

Sirius shut the door and slowly made his way back to his bike. Harry had started to fuss, which Sirius quickly rocked him and started to hum. He slowly quieted as he mounted his bike.

"'Ello Sirius."

Sirius' head spun around as he starred up at Hagrid.

"H-Hagrid."

"I need to be takin lil Harry to Dumbledore."

"I'm his Godfather!"

"Dumbledore says he needs to go to his aunt and uncle. Orders are orders."

Sirius starred at the half giant, he grit his teeth as he starred at him. He'd promised James and Lily the day Harry was born he'd protect him. And he'd already failed to protect his parents, he would not fail to protect Harry. Inside his head was reeling, rev up the motorbike and just fly off. But deep down he knew Dumbledore knew what was best. He probably figured Sirius was a traitor anyway…he best do as he says. "Alright…take the bike too, I won't need it."

"But Sirius-"

"You'll get there faster, go on."

He watched his beloved bike roar out of sight carrying his Godson with him. A hoot from the fence pulled his attention. Sirius gave the owl a bitter smile as he walked over. "How did you know I'd need you?" He asked Tenebris as he stroked his faithful owl, who gave a sorrow filled hoot as he looked towards the Potter's. That's when the idea hit him.

He felt terrible for walking back into the house, stepping through the debire but he needed to get a message out. Ripping a piece of old parchment Sirius grabbed a rather old looking quill and wrote.

_Remus,_

_Peter is a traitor…I know I said I was the secret keeper but I wasn't I lied…I didn't trust you. I'm sorry, don't trust Peter…he killed James and Lily. Trust me, please…_

_~Sirius_

_Handing it to his owl, "Go be quick! Don't stop just fly straight home…I have something to do." But his message would never get to Remus, because before Tenebris could fly into the safety of the flat he was shot down and landed with a thud beside a grinning rat. _


	96. Finding Peter

**Two chapters left after this, then this fic is done! Enjoy!**

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><p>The funeral for James and Lily Potter had been lovely; Remus had made it simple yet beautiful. The way they would have wanted it. He hadn't seen Sirius in three days and it was good riddance, because if he saw Sirius now, he would slaughter him.<p>

He had made him believe his lies, he though things would be better. Their last night together had put hope in him. Now, like his friends it lied cold and dead. For the first time in Remus' life he was truly alone. No laughter or love surrounded him.

He had thought about returning home to his parents, but it was too hard to part from his flat. Even if all it did was burn a hole right through his chest. His office, one of the sweetest gifts anyone had ever given him was destroyed. In a fit of blind rage he'd ripped it apart. His mirror, made special for him so he could be part of the gang was shattered and dumped in the trashcan. The rings he and Sirius shared were locked away in a compartment of his trunk where he'd never look again.

His trunk had become the hiding place for everything he wanted to forget. Pictures, letters, presents from years past. Even that home move Sirius had made some time ago. All of it was locked away in his school trunk which was locked away in the room he'd never enter again.

The flat looked empty, his owl Shilling seemed lost without her companion. Much like he was, Remus hadn't seen Tenebris since Sirius disappeared, probably flown away to be with his traitorous master. Lari was depressed with the loss of one of her owners; though always put her best paw forward for Remus' sake. The house was an empty shell of the light and love it used to hold.

Three days all Remus did was listening to the clock tick away as he drowned himself in whatever alcohol he could find. He did all that he could to get away from his miserable life. Everyone he cared about gone, well except for Peter, but even peter had gone as silent as the grave.

Peter had said something at the funeral that he and Remus should hide because Sirius would be coming. Deep down Remus didn't believe him, Sirius had all the time in the world to kill him, even do it slowly but he hadn't done it. But maybe that was the point.

He didn't want to kill Remus, he wanted him alive, to suffer.

It wouldn't have surprised him; Sirius was always the kind of person who wanted his enemies to suffer, why should he be any different. Remus could remember a distant time in school, they were in second year. Sirius had pinned a much older student against the wall facing a million tiny spiders as the crawled on them because the boy had simply called Remus something nasty. He'd served two months detention for it but Sirius had claimed it was worth it because no one made fun of his friends and got away with it.

It had scared the marauders then, to see Sirius so angry. And it scared them even now, if Sirius was angry he'd stop at nothing to avenge, especially if it was towards his friends. But right now Remus didn't know who was friend and who was foe. Sirius had James and Lily killed, did that make him an enemy as well?

Remus had tried a million different ways to explain to himself just why Sirius had done it. Had it been out of mercy, had he given it to Voldemort simply because he knew one way or another they'd get the Potter's in a worse way? Had he been tricked or forced, but how? Had they used something against him, but what was worth more than James and Lily? The selfish part of Remus had said himself, but with a lack of Sirius in his life right now he doubted that was the answer. Or was the answer as simple as he gave up the good fight and switched sides. Remus hoped deep down that wasn't the answer, he'd rather have Sirius have just been merciful than that. But if it was anything other than that wasn't Sirius man enough to tell Remus? There were too many questions, for it to even make sense.

He'd hunted Peter for four days, and he still came up empty handed. He tracked him with the best of his human and animagus abilities. His head hurt from the lack of sleep and proper eating. But he was crazy and angry; it wasn't something that did good things to a Black, let alone any decent human being. He hadn't gone back home to Remus, he couldn't face him. Not without proof he was innocent. Remus had shown his proof; simply by letting Peter do all the work for him.

Deep down he should have known better, he should have known that Peter was much more likely than Remus to betray them. Peter always had been the one that James and Sirius were doubtful of. Even with Remus being a werewolf he'd proven his loyalty more than once. But he'd been so afraid, and love makes you do the stupidest things. He was afraid he was losing Remus, to the war, to all the stress. He was afraid Remus had seen a quicker way out and he'd taken it. And now that Sirius looked back he realized that wasn't Remus at all.

It was another night on the hunt, he'd raided Peter's house a few hours ago, the rat no where in sight. He'd written Peter's parents on the second day, just as sweetly as usual. With their reply his mother had sent cookies along with her only knowledge about Peter's whereabouts as well as asking how he was, with the recent passing of James and Lily. And asked why he hadn't been to the funeral. Sirius had to reply that he simply couldn't bare it.

He'd made a trip, on his way back to London to stop at Godric's Hollow. He figured it was best to return home and face Remus like a man, to tell him the whole truth, even go under vertasirum if need be to prove his point. When he walked up the small road of the little country graveyard, it felt like déjà vu. How many times in the past four years had Sirius been in a graveyard? How many times had he lost someone dear? And now the dearest to him were dead. He looked at the headstone with indifference, he just couldn't believe it. It was all a cruel joke, James and Lily would write him or pop in the flat one day and say "HA WE GOT YOU!" That was a cruel joke even for James, but he'd seen his friend pull meaner. So he'd return home and wait for him to pop out.

It had surprised Remus when Peter showed up at his doorstep and persuaded Remus to let him stay, saying he needed some company in the empty flat. Which Remus had agreed was true, but something about his friend's fidgetiness caught him off guard. "Pete…are you ok?" Remus eventually asked as his shivering friend patted Lari who seemed none to please to have his attention. Peter had looked at him with watery eyes, "its Si-Sirius."

Remus' heart leaped at the name, which in his head he scolded it. There was no more love for that man in his mind. "What about him?"

"He-He was in my house…he…he's coming for me!" Peter whaled as he launched himself onto Remus clinging to him as he cried. Remus was wide eyed as he held his friend oddly patting his back. "I-It's ok Pete he won't come here." Remus felt a weird lump in his throat as he patted his friend; Sirius wouldn't really come to harm them would he? Remus had chalked up Sirius' lashing out at James and Lily to him being completely mad. It was the best explanation; Sirius had just fallen off of his rocker. Sirius himself had told the marauders that Blacks were well known for going mad. And as a joke he warned them to watch out, or at least at the time they thought it had been a joke.

"But he's coming for me Moony, I know it I can feel it!"

"Well you can just stay here, Sirius won't dare come here. He knows I'd kill him without a second's hesitation."

"But…didn't you mark him? Isn't that sorta…binding?"

Remus closed his eyes as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, "that's why he won't come. He can't hurt me and I can't hurt him, all I'd have to do is put myself in front of you, Sirius would be powerless. So don't worry." Remus gave him a weak smile, "Your safe here and my couch is open for you." Peter had beamed up at him, all signs of worry gone. "Oh Remus you're the best!"

Sirius had been halfway home when he saw him. He was carrying bags from the grocery, without a care in the world. Sirius had felt a sudden rage rush through him, a growl had come somewhere from deep within him as he balled his hands into fists. How dare he be anywhere near here! He followed him, as quietly as he could, nearly tip toeing behind him. But Peter paid no mind, Sirius watched him take the familiar roads towards his flat, and when Peter had approached the building Sirius lived in his heart stopped. "Oh no you don't." He growled, he reached out and grabbed Peter by the shoulder, "Hello Wormtail."

He felt his friend freeze underneath him as he slowly turned around, "S-Sirius."

"Prepare to die…traitor."

Sirius was too angry, wrapped up in his own grief to see Peter raise his wand. By the time he'd realized it, it was too late, Peter had cast a charm. Sirius didn't know what hit him as the world around him instantly blurred the sounds around him all the sudden became too loud to even think properly. He heard Peter laugh as the groceries dropped from his hands and he ran.

It took about ten minutes for the charm to wear off, but when it did and Sirius shook the effects he was furious. And like a bat out of hell Sirius ran, chasing after his school friend, thirsty for blood.


	97. The Capture of Sirius Black

**One more chapter...I hope this has tied up all lose ends, if there is ANYTHING that is still a mystery to you let me know and I will tie it up. Also someone mentioned to me in Backwards Desire how they thought Peter crushing, they were totally right.**

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><p>He should have known he wouldn't have had to run far, Peter was as out of shape as he had been in school. He'd only made it a few blocks before he was bent over panting for air. Sirius looked at him, both in pity and disgust. "How dare you go to Remus after what you did to James and Lily!" He growled from behind Peter.<p>

Peter whirled around his watery eyes round, "S-Sirius you have to understand-"

"I don't have time for traitors like you! Not after all you've done! You could have come to us, we would have helped. We were friends, brothers, hell Peter we were fucking family!"

"Yes the four of you were!" Peter's eyes changed, fear fled them as anger stepped in. "You James Remus and Lily were all a happy little family! Where was I?!"

"Probably licking Voldemort's shoes at the time, we tried to be that way with you but you were always busy! What the fuck were we supposed to do Peter? We should have known you'd be the tattle tale. Being a good for nothing sewer rat." Sirius growled, his fists clenched and unclenched as he walked towards Peter, "And now, I'm gonna kill you in a muggle fashion I'm going to squeeze the life out of you."

"You'll go to Azkaban." Peter squeaked the familiar fear returning to his eyes as Sirius backed him into a corner. Sirius shrugged, "So be it, and I'll live a thousand years in there if it means you've breathed your last breath. You took everything from me, and you don't even show an ounce of guilt. They had a kid Peter, remember little Harry? He's got no parents now and lives with his good for nothing muggles; you remember how Lily talked about them THAT'S WHERE HE IS!" Sirius shouted his blood pounded in his ears as he stood in front of Peter.

"You've yet to ask why." Peter raised an eyebrow, if Sirius had known better he'd have thought Peter was actually thinking of a plan. "Why would I ask why you killed them, you did it and it's time you paid."

"Ask me why Sirius, go ahead…I know your dying to know."

"No reason is good enough Pete, it's time you faced your trial." Sirius rolled up his sleeves, Peter's eyes widened in fear. "Oh come on now Sirius…there's really no need, just turn me in…"

Sirius began to laugh; it was a dark and hateful laugh, one he typically used for his family. Most people called it the Black Family laugh, because only a Black could sound so hateful. "Turn you in! BAH Turn you in!" He laughed louder, Sirius didn't know if he was losing his mind or not but it felt damn good to laugh. "You think I'd just hand you over, when the ministry did NOTHING to stop Voldemort, when over half of the names we handed over are still roaming the streets, fat chance. No Peter…the last thing your going to see is me, you didn't see James and Lily after they died I did…and it'll haunt me for the rest of my life. So the least bit of comfort I can get is killing you."

Peter was trembling all over, his eyes were wide as he put his hands out to stop Sirius from getting closer, and a feeble attempt but at least it was an attempt. "Remus knows, I wrote him a letter." Sirius chuckled, "he knows you're the traitor."

"Are you sure it ever got there? Because if it did why would Remus let me live with him?" Sirius felt sick the rat had been in his flat. "He was keeping an eye on you waiting for me."

Peter laughed, "You sent the letter with Tenebris didn't you?" Sirius' blood ran cold, "What did you do!" Peter smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Ohhh poor Tenebris he was so old, maybe if he'd been faster-"

Sirius growled, "you bastard what did you do to him!"

"And he never returned to his master, Remus never got your letter. I knew you'd write him the second you found out. I just was lucky enough to be there right as he got close to home. He never even made it inside." Sirius starred at him, unable to move. Remus didn't know, and peter had killed his owl. "Don't worry it was quick, he never felt himself hit the ground." Sirius growled, glaring at him. He couldn't think of what to say or what to do. "Now will you listen to me?"

Peter all of his life hid behind those who could protect him. James had mentioned it in private to Sirius how they'd have to keep an eye on him. Of course they never did, James had been worked out the night he'd whispered it to Sirius. Of course Sirius had laughed at him, told him he was just upset. They'd been young and still in school and war was a scary thing. Peter was a friend, a trusted marauder he'd never do that. Sirius scoffed at his younger naive self. Peter had done it, and now he'd pay for it.

"Sirius…Hear me out."

Something deep down in Sirius' gut told him to do it, to reach forward and kill him. To do exactly as he had said before anything could happen, "Think about Remus before you do it…do you want to leave him all alone…"

"Don't you dare talk about Remus." Sirius growled, grinding his teeth. But Peter had pressed a button inside of Sirius, a cease and desist button. Sirius' body acted all on it's own as he stepped back, "Tell me why then."

Peter had smiled as he relaxed a bit; he'd bought himself at least a few more breaths on this earth. "I guess the blame again falls on you." Peter sort of kicked a rock by his shoe, "I mean it's always been you." Sirius shook his head, "What the hell are you saying?"

"Don't you remember? In seventh year-"

"A lot of shit happened in seventh year, and that was years ago." Sirius suddenly felt older than he was, "care to refresh me." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, trying his best to keep his temper under control. It was about that time as Peter regained his thoughts that Sirius looked around, it wasn't a very crowded street. A bunch of empty business buildings lined the road with the occasional shop tucked in. Most people were home on Saturday.

"When I apologized," Peter chuckled. Sirius went to open his mouth, but fell short with words and closed it again. "When I told you if you were gay it meant I was?" Sirius starred at him, unable to speak. "I mean if you were comfortable with it, then I should have been right, I mean if I was of course."

"Are you?" Sirius gave a chuckle, "I mean obviously you are if we're talking about it."

"Name one person who's never fancied the likes of Sirius Black."

"James Potter, for one." Sirius shrugged, "Then again if your gonna tell me you did who the fuck knows about James maybe it was his little secret, and he married Evans to cover it up." Sirius started to laugh, "Oh Peter do you really think your confession is going to save you!"

"Oh but you were perfect, -" Peter continued, "the womanizing son of a bitch, who only let his friends in. And then you go and change on me, on all of us. And you start to fancy dear ole Remus, who honestly isn't worth your time. I mean look at him-"

"Peter you better watch it…" Sirius' laughter stopped as his voice turned cold. "Remus is a million times the man you'll ever be. Or excuse me ever could have been," Sirius moved closer, wand in one hand as he flexed his fingers in the other. "Because your about to meet your end."

"I'll tell your sweet little brother you say hello." Peter smiled.

"You sick bastard!" Sirius launched himself at Peter, eyes burning with anger. But it was too late; Sirius heard the ground from under him rumble. "I hate tell to you Padfoot!" Peter shouted as the street from underneath him shook, "but you'll never find me." Sirius watched him cut off his finger, and as if time was in slow motion he watched his old friend transform into a rat. "NO!"

BOOM!

Sirius was thrown back a good six feet; he landed hard on the ground. He had heard a snap when he landed and looked down, a nasty feeling formed in the pit of his stomach as he looked down at his half broken wand, "son of a bitch." And then he looked up, his eyes were wide as he looked at the destroyed street; people were lying in the mist of the rubble. He couldn't move, couldn't think, all he could do was sit there. After a few moments he started to laugh, and he laughed until he felt arms around his shoulders. He knew it was Aurors coming to take him away. He knew where he was going, and yet he continued to laugh. Because laughing was all he could do. He was at the point in his life where everything was gone, his friends, family, lover and all hope of a normal happy life. It was all gone, and hidden away somewhere was Peter. And that's what made him laugh the most, Peter was free.

He laughed all the way to a holding cell, where once reality sunk in he sat on the small cot farthest away from the door. He sat in quietly in his cell. "Well, well look what we have here." Sirius looked up to the voice of Bartimus Crouch, "look what the sick and dying cat dragged in." Crouch laughed, "The boy who gave me living hell, and now here he is…locking in a cell awaiting my judgment."

"I'm innocent." Sirius muttered he knew Crouch wasn't listening. "They all say their innocent, you know that." Crouch chuckled, "And with a broken wand…"

"It wasn't broken! You could have tested it!"

"Oh well…" Crouch held up a well snapped wand, Sirius recognized it as his own, and his gut fell. "When they carried you in it seemed it finished breaking."

"YOU broke it! You'd do anything to put me away!" Sirius walked towards the bars, "I didn't do it! I swear to you, look Crouch we don't get along our families never have. But don't be thick! Do you really think I could have-"

"A crazy son of a bitch like you could have done that...yes and I believe you did. And with all of the witness to your crime either dead or Obvliated you have no one to stand up for you in a trail. So that'd be useless."

"I'M INNOCENT DAMMIT!"

"And with no one to protect you, no daddy to sneak in and fix your issues. No Potter's to convince people otherwise, you're just in a lot of trouble young man."

"Sir there's a man here to see him," Sirius heard a guard mutter to Crouch. "I'll give you one last visitor the dementors are waiting."

"Waiting what do you mean?" Sirius looked at him, "I have the right to a trial."

"You killed thirteen people Sirius, blew up a whole street. And Dumbledore tells us your were the Potter's secret keeper…there is no trial. You're going straight to the top of Azkaban Tower to rot for all eternity."

Sirius starred at him, eyes wide with terror. "N-no you can't do that!"

"I can Sirius…and I just did." Crouch turned to leave, "One last visitor, then let the dementors have him."

"Yes sir!"


	98. Final Goodbyes

**The end... (writter comments at the bottom)**

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><p>When the iron gate open and shut Sirius didn't even raise his head. It had to be the Azkaban guards finally on their way to retrieve him. It must have been his visitor; he knew Crouch was a sick son of a bitch. He'd heard the guards before referring to the dementors as guests so their prisoner would get excited, then that black hood would walk by. It would all be over, but he'd deserve that wouldn't he?<p>

It was his decision to switch to Peter; it was he who put James' life in the wrong hands. It was his entire fault, he wouldn't have even looked if he hadn't smelt him, hadn't heard his breathing. The mark burned under his skin.

When his head raised and looked at the blonde man in front of him tears pricked his eyes. Remus looked pathetic. His eyes were red and swollen, lips raw from licking and biting them. He was still in the same clothes he had been in when he last saw him, what was that five days ago?

"Re-"

"Shut up," the iron bars closed behind his lover, though with the look in Remus' eyes he felt like it would soon be ex. "Tell me what was wrong in our lives that you had to destroy it?!" He held his hand up to keep Sirius from speaking, "And who the hell are you to throw James and Lily under a FUCKING bus when they were supporting us when the LOVED US SIRIUS!" his voice was raised and Sirius flinched as the man shouted at him "I shouldn't have came here, I can't even stand the sight of you." he spat ripping Sirius' heart from his chest. "But I couldn't live the rest of my life not knowing why so tell me Sirius what happened."

"It wasn't me."

"Ugh, forget it," he turned his back to leave but Sirius lunged for him taking a tight hold on his arms. "Guards!" Remus shouted trying to pull Sirius off him "Get off of me Black," landing a kick to Sirius' shin causing him to fall to the side.

"Remus…please," Sirius whispered from the floor "I didn't do it, why would I let James and Lily die WHY?!"

"You were their secret keeper," Remus hissed the venom in his voice hitting its mark. Sirius flinched and looked away.

"I switched it to Peter, at the last moment."

"You lie!" Remus growled.

"Why the fuck would I lie Remus, to get you on my side, what could a werewolf do in the eyes of the court," he growled, "I want you to REALLY think about this, why the hell would I lie to you?"

"Because if it were the truth I'd fight for you."

"WITH WHAT?!" Sirius had accepted his fate but he would not let his lover his best friend, his only friend hate him for the rest of eternity. "My wand is snapped, didn't even look at the spells on it! It broke when I hit the ground, and then when I got here instead of even attempting to trace it for spells they simply snapped it," he growled "James and Lily are dead they can't tell them the truth and Peter" the name stirred up gravel in the mans voice "Is out there somewhere!"

"PETER IS DEAD!"

"HE'S ALIVE REMUS!" Sirius shouted back "Open your eyes! Stop believing what everyone is saying and TRUST ME!"

"I DID TRUST YOU!" Remus shouted, it was his turn for tears "I trusted the man I fell in love with at school, the man who had no fear in life. Who treated everyone who cared about him with love and compassion. I trusted a man who would have never let his best friend die."

"Why would I kill James?" Sirius' voice was hoarse. "Why when he had everything he ever wanted?"

"Were you jealous we could have had that…if you'd just waited!"

"Remus are you crazy," Sirius shouted "Do you know who I am!"

"I used to."

That hurt, it felt like a knife through the gut and it was being twisted. Sirius starred at Remus, his heart barley beating, already knowing Remus would never believe him. His life was already in shambles and it was taking the last bit from him. "Remus…I hate liars, Voldemort stole my family from me MY BABY BROTHER!" he shouted the final bit "Tell me why on this earth would I side with him," he starred at him. "Regulus is dead because of them…why would I hand over the only brother I had left?"

"No idea," Remus crossed his arms over his chest, Sirius felt hope as he watch Remus' eyes start to change. Maybe he'd believe him "But," the hope started to die "it doesn't change what you have done," he turned to leave.

"Remus please…I don't even get a trial listen to me"

"You don't deserve one, my best friends are dead…even the Sirius Black I knew. You are no one, and never will be anyone to me."

"You don't mean that" He pulled at his shirt "You owe me the chance to explain."

Remus whirled around so fast he had whiplash but he didn't care as he pinned Sirius against the cold stone of the cell "Don't you dare use that against me!" He growled, Sirius stared into the dark golden orbs and gulped. "You got that when I had no control, I never would have marked you if that hadn't been the case," Remus growled.

"You lie…"

"I'm serious," he let go of Sirius "You took advantage of me, like you did everyone else." he walked away.

"Don't leave me."

"What do you want me to hold you, tell you its all ok?" Remus' laugh was a cold one, turning back "I have no compassion for murderers."

"I am no murderer Remus Lupin," Sirius looked up at him "It was I who gave my position up to Peter, but I didn't know he was a death eater, that he had changed on us. I would have never given it to him."

"IF that's true," Remus looked at him "Why didn't you tell me?"

Sirius felt his throat tighten, why hadn't he told him? Simple because he thought Remus was a double agent. He looked away, not daring to admit that he thought his lover was against them all.

"Ohhh…I see," Remus lifted Sirius head "I forgive you."

Sirius looked up "For what"

"Having you lie to me for years," Remus spat "I trust you, I love you!" he mocked "Geeze it must have been horrible," he spat "Rot in hell Sirius Black, because that's where you and your kind belong."

With that, the iron door opened and slammed shut, Sirius starred after him, his memories flashing through his head, all of the times he could have told Remus. Every moment he spent hiding things, it was all for not. Because in the end, Remus had been loyal and loving till the end. While it was only Sirius who had been disloyal, and had cost him and the ones he loved everything, head in his hands he cried. Knowing he would never see his godson, his lover or anything else he cared about again. Because he soon felt the cold embrace of a Dementor, and knew as he looked up, it was all over.

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><p><strong>And that's it guys, With Love Comes War is finally over. Thank you all SOOOO much for those of you who have read this whole story and stuck with me through it all. Also thank you to all of my new readers as well, I've seen quite a few new faces here as well as on Backwards Desire. So if you made it all the way to the end to this let me know! I would like to personally thank you all. Just write me a review saying you made it to the end. I'll not only personally thank you but add you to a list at the bottom of this chapter.<strong>

**Now on the grounds of the third part of this story, I'm going to take a break from posting chapters. I have no idea when I'll start posting again maybe December, who knows. With that being said, there MIGHT be other stories that pop up before then, I have a few smaller fanfics being written on the side. Both are Sirius/Remus, so no worries. I also have someone editing Backwards Desire, her name is Madam Fist, so when she gets that done I will be posting a revised additon. I will keep up the old one, but will post the new one as "Backward Desire Updated", so keep a eye out for that. But for now I plan on taking a break and just relaxing and writing whenever the moment hits me. But hopefully by december there will be enough of the Azkaban fic (which so far is called Wait It Out), that I feel good enough to post it so I'm not rushed in writing it.**

**Again thank you all soo SOOO much for sticking with me on this crazy journey. This all started with me being bored and now it's become something I enjoy. All of you just by reading this story and encouraging me to write have taught me so much. It means the world to me, thank you all.**

**Signing out for now  
>~Padfoot<strong>

**Readers who are awesome enough to make it the whole way through. Thank you,**

**TechNomaNcer28, ****Ravenna Reckless, ****AmazingAlex0818, xLizziexLupinx**


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